Hello and welcome to my latest fic. I know I have been MIA for a few months but I needed a break.

Once again, the gang are doctors. It is what I know and I write what I know. Yes, there are some elements of Grey's Anatomy in this. See second sentence. No, I won't classify it as a crossover as there are no Grey's characters in this fic.

Also, Bella likes to curse, alot. So if you are easily offended by curse words, this is not the fic for you. Also there is talk of sex, one-night stands, small penises, big penises,crotches, gay people and some other things I am sure I am forgetting. But you get the gist. Still with me?

Bella is very OOC (out of character) in this fic. As is Edward. Even their appearances are different. This is not canon.

I said all that up front because I know there will be countless reviews complaining about one or more of the issues above to which I will tell them to go back and read the AN on Chapter 1.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Rob, Kristen, Grey's, Seattle Pres, my cars, my Harley, or any of the characters bank accounts. I do own my house but it is falling apart. Anyone know how to fix a ceiling?

A special thank you to Bella_Biter for her awesome beta skills. I did go back and tweak it so any and all mistakes are mine.

Without further ado...

Dr. Isabella Marie Swan cursed for what must be the fiftieth time, in four hours. Nothing was going her way this morning, or last night for that matter. It hadn't been going her way for two weeks if she really thought about it. Stupid parents, stupid new job, stupid small ass one-night stand. She sighed as she dismounted from her Harley-Davidson XL 1200N Nightster. She slipped her helmet off and shook out her blond and pink hair, allowing it to fall down her back in long winding curls. There was something about riding that gave her the freedom she didn't always have as a surgeon. Surgery was precision personified. She secured her helmet on her bike… her baby… and stood before the bane of her existence: Seattle Presbyterian. The source of her problems? It was because of her stupid parents that she had the stupid new job and the stupid small ass one-night stand. Okay, in all fairness, they didn't technically pick out her one-night stand… ugh, how creepy would that shit be? But still, they were to blame for everything else.

Charlie and Renee Swan. Her parents. Her mother was THE Renee Swan… the surgical goddess… the inventor of the Swan Method. She married Bella's father, if you could call a man who didn't acknowledge your existence a father, before Bella was born and then divorced him five years later after a torrid love affair with her fellow resident and colleague Charlie Swan. Charlie was her father, the man who had taken a scared and uprooted five-year old and made her feel secure and loved beyond measure. He was her daddy and she would do anything for him… obviously. Which is why she was in this rainy ass city - living in a masculine decorated (though clean) house that she had lived in for her first five years of existence, and starting the before-mentioned stupid new job.

Charlie Swan had traded scrubs for a business suit when he'd started buying hospitals instead of working for them. He owned Swan Consolidations- which had bought such hospitals as Cedar Sinai, Mount Sinai, Massachusetts General and now Seattle Presbyterian. Bella worked for him as a Neurosurgery fellow at Mass Gen, where her mother was Chief of Surgery. Luckily, she and her mother had a good relationship because God knows she spent a lot of time with her as her mother was not only her encourager but also her boss.

Having a good relationship with your parents could suck, too. She could still remember the conversation two weeks ago.

She had arrived at Sunday brunch nursing a hangover as per usual. Why they couldn't make this later in the day she would never know; it was like they knew she had a headache the size of the East Coast and couldn't wait to torture her. She knew that they were not stupid- but she also knew they didn't know to what extent she misbehaved. She was always the good girl in front of them. Hence her proper appearance this morning. She smoothed down her blond hair and sundress and entered their massive house, her low heels echoing on the ceramic tile. She approached the housekeeper Rosita, giving her a quick hug and a hello.

"Where are the parentals?" She asked.

"In the dining room," Rosita said, grinning- and quickly handed Bella two Aleve and a glass of water. Bella smiled gratefull,y and swallowed them before going to greet her parents.

"Hello Mom, Daddy." She said, hugging them both and falling gracefully into her chair. Per usual, the table was set elegantly, with her grandmother's china set on display. Her parents were great but they did play up appearances a little thickly at times. Not much was said over the wonderful meal of pancakes, eggs, bacon, ham, juice and coffee.

She sat back after she finished and looked at them shrewdly, while wiping her mouth with the cloth napkin.

"Okay, what is it?"

"What is what?" her mom asked innocently. Bella snorted. Renee Swan innocent? Not hardly. She looked at her mom, disbelievingly. Renee looked at Charlie.

Her dad cleared his throat.

"Bella, I just acquired a new hospital and I need to have it overseen now instead of three months from now as I had hoped. I can't go tend to it myself due to the unfortunate lawsuits I'm facing with Mount Sinai."

Bella nodded. She knew all too well the problems that her father had found himself in with a doctor at the New York hospital who had taken it upon himself to Kevorkian a few patients four months ago. Seven families were now suing the doctor and the hospital. It had really stressed her dad out to the point where she was worried about his health.

"Okay…" she said, still not getting what that had to do with her.

"I want you to go get things started."

Bella's mouth flew open. She bolted out of her chair.

"Seriously? No! Hell no! I have a job here, I have friends here, I have… a… great bartender here." She ranted.

"Bella, you are thirty years old and you are a brilliant surgeon, but I had always hoped that you would take over for me when I retired. You know what the job entails, you have worked with me before while you were in medical school." Charlie said.

"That was six years ago. I am a surgeon, I cut people, I don't do paperwork unless it is notes on a patient I cut on," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Bella, I wouldn't ask if I didn't really need you there," he said.

"What about Peter?" Peter Connolly was her dad's right hand man.

"I need him for the other two hospitals, and he is stretched thin as it is."

Bella looked at Renee.

"Mom?" she asked, pleading with her.

"There is no other way, Bella. This was too good an opportunity to pass up. We had to buy it now. And they need someone there to have the transition run smoothly," she said, apology in her eyes.

Bella fought the urge to stomp her foot.

"How long would I have to be there?" she asked.

Charlie breathed a sigh of relief.

"Three months… maybe four. tops. And then you can come back here and resume your life as it was," he said.

"I have to be able to cut, Daddy. That is my only condition. I will find someone to help me with the paperwork and the meetings when I get there," she said.

"Done. Whatever you need to do, do it. I am counting on you, Bells. Please don't let me down," he said.

Bella nodded, reluctantly.

"You can live in the house I have there," Renee told her.

"Wait… where is this hospital?" she asked.


Bella blinked.

"Seattle? The rain capital of the world? Where my sperm donor lives? Seriously?" she ranted.

"It is just for a little while, Bells," Charlie said.

Bella sighed.

"Fine. But you two so owe me one," she said.

"We know, Dear," they said simultaneously, exchanging affectionate looks.

Bella decided right then that if she had to do this, she would dress and act as she wanted to away from the prying eyes of her parents. She inserted her pink clip-in hair extensions, and paid a pretty penny to have her bike transported to her. It was time to shake things up a bit.

As far as her one-night stand went… well, let's just say if this was the quality of men in Seattle, she would need to get out her Mr. Rabbit- aka The Love Bunny. With an eight-hour battery span, it resembled a cucumber and had a thing for her clit that had her moaning in eight seconds and coming in twenty. Dude last night had looked promising but she now knew she should grab them first to test out the package before wasting her time. She got him home and things had gotten hot and heavy and she swore to the Lord above the guy wasn't bigger than five fucking inches. He had looked at her and obviously mistaken the disgust on her face for lust before asking her, "Do you want some of this bad boy?" She had wanted to respond with 'No, you have spanked your bad boy for so long, he got shell shock. Now get the fuck out.' However, what came out was, "Yeah, it's something alright. Something... nice and smallish. Yeah, I can't do anything with that. I'm sorry."

Daniel- or, as she liked to call him 'runs with short stick'- had left abruptly for some reason.

Oh well. What did he think she could do with that? Her finger was longer.

She felt a raindrop hit her face, drawing her out of her thoughts.

"Ugh," she said, quickly rushing into the hospital, leather and water did not mix so well.


Dr. Edward Anthony Cullen locked the door to his black 2015 NX Hybrid Lexus and walked towards the hospital, meeting up with Dr. James Riley on the way in.

"Hey, man," James greeted him.

"Hey. You look happy this morning," Edward said.

"Yep, got laid last night… twice," James gloated.

Edward shook his head.

"Have fun with your STDs. That thing is going to rot off," Edward said, gesturing towards James' crotch area.

"You're just jealous. You are arguing over apartments, trying to find a place that has a big enough closet for Lauren's clothes while I am banging any pussy that moves," James said.

'We are just having a difference of opinion, that's all," Edward defended.

"You want a house out in the wilderness and she wants a high rise penthouse apartment… that is a difference of personalities, not opinions, my friend. Man, you aren't going to do anything stupid like marry her, are you?"

"I don't know. I have been with Lauren for over a year. I am thirty-nine years old. I want to get married and have children. My lease on the house is up next month- so we are just going to move in with each other after we agree on a place, and see how it goes from there."

"Do you honestly think Lauren is going to ruin her figure giving you a kid? You would have better luck finding a surrogate right now and doing it that way. Don't make a mistake that you can't fix easily, Edward," James warned. "Besides, I know the sex can't be that good. She looks like she would be a cold fish."

"James, knock it off. I already have Mom on my case, I don't need you starting in on me, too."

Esme Cullen hated Lauren Mallory. She felt that Lauren was too privileged, deigning herself too worthy to hang around with the likes of the working stiff Cullens. Lauren rarely made an appearance at family functions and had taken to buying Edward's clothes, and dressing him in the way she thought he should be dressed. Esme hated that. In her opinion, Edward didn't need to change at all.

"Fine, whatever man, I just think she is all wrong for you," James said.

"And who, in your opinion, would be right for me?" Edward asked.

James had stopped dead on the sidewalk and Edward barreled into him.

"Hey! What the hell?" Edward protested.

"Ho…lee…Fuck," James whistled.

Edward followed James' gaze and his own settled on a petite woman about five six, a hundred pounds soaking wet, wearing a black helmet with pink flames, tight dark blue jeans, a black leather jacket and three inch high heeled boots. She was standing next to a motorcycle.

"Nice bike," Edward said.

James turned and looked at him, mouth agape.

"Nice bike? Dude, Lauren has castrated you."

They both looked back at the girl who had taken off her helmet and shook out her luscious hair.

"She has pink hair, James," He said.

"I know, hot, huh?" James said.

"Stop your drooling, she is probably jailbait. We don't want to be late for the meeting with the new owners. Let's go."

Edward dragged James to the hospital entrance.

"I don't get you, you haven't even seen her face. What if she is a 'dog'?" Edward asked, using his fingers to imitate quotation marks, throwing James's rating system back in his face. Woman were not objects, and he hated James treating them like they were. He had sisters, and he would kill someone if they treated them like James treated women.

James winked at him.

"I don't have to fuck her face."

"I am a lesser man for having known you," Edward sighed, shaking his head.

"Keep telling yourself that." James grinned. "You will thank me one day when you want a quick fuck cause Lauren isn't putting out."

"I don't want your leftovers. And I am capable of finding my own women, thank you very much. Not that I would ever cheat."

"Yeah, sure you won't. After all, you have done so well for yourself in the past."

Edward thought back. James did have a point: he did tend to stick with straight laced career driven women. There was nothing wrong with that- having a stable person in your life. Granted, the sex wasn't exactly adventurous, but that was okay. He liked Lauren, she wanted the same things out of life that he did, and he had a feeling one day she would be Lauren Cullen.

"That is a matter of opinion," he said finally, walking away from James and effectively ending the conversation… for now.

Okay Harpies, let me know what you think.