As I'm driving to Seattle I look in my rear view mirror, and I can't help but wonder and think back to where my life has taken me. Here I am 22 years old and about to be a single mother to an 18 month old, Lilly but I wouldn't change a thing in the world. Lilly is my life now and even though she is not of my blood she is my daughter. I am heading to Seattle to finalize the adoption and move there after the craziest weeks of my life. We will also be living there with my only person in my life Kate, we have been there for each other through thick and thin.
One of my best friends Jose, Lillie's dad was dating this girl Susannah for about 2 years in college and then they found out she was with child. They couldn't have been happier; however, life went another way. She was not the women I thought she was, when the baby was born she became so depressed, and started with drugs and became a whore. She was into going into sex clubs and hard core sexual acts that I can't even describe. She eventually left Jose and Lilly on their own, and being the friend I am and with my horrendous upbringing I could not let that little girl down. I had an attachment to her from when I first held her when she was born, as her touch didn't burn when I held her. She became my life besides my schooling and my reading. I have always enjoyed my love of books, they take me to a different world, where there is no abuse and no memories to hunt my dreams. When I read I am in my own world, and I became a recluse and Kate to this day has never understood my life. She has tried time and time again to get me to go out and meet someone. I like my private life and no one would date a monster.
Thank heavens my father Ray stepped up and took me from my mother and husband number three. I still have flashbacks and nightmares from the abuse I had to endure. To this day no one can touch me, I have so many emotional and physical scars that sometimes I feel like a leper. Jose had been friends with me ever since I was a little girl. His father and mine served in the marines together so we had known each other since elementary school. We were separated when my mother and Ray became divorced, and I had to go live with her. At first it was ideal living with them but then the drugs started and so did the abuse. One night on my 12th birthday number three came into my room so drunk and high smoking, he tied me down and burned me all over my stomach, back, and a couple on my wrists, 24 in total. Eight on my back, eight on my stomach and four on each wrist. He told me that whenever I saw them I would know that I was his. That was my birthday present to be welcomed into his world, and he stated he was getting me ready. The whole night I was in and out of consciousness wondering where my mother was. Little did I know she left me with him to go to a sex club. The next day my father made a surprise visit, and needless to say I don't remember much but I woke up in the hospital with Ray as he apologized over and over, all I could think of was the pain that I was in and that I never felt that I had that motherly love a child wants and desires. To this day I do not celebrate my birthday I do not want memories of the night.
Not only did I deal with the physical abuse, I was so emotionally abused, that I never wanted to be seen in public. I went to school sat in the corners talked with no one came home and was told repeatedly that I was fat, a little monster, ugly and that no one wanted me. I did go crying to my mother once, and her response was "Ana, he's just telling you the truth, you are a bastard and I had to put up with you so you need to just build a backbone and listen to him." That night I begged and begged for her to let me go live with my father so she wouldn't have to deal with me anymore and her response was " No, we need the money from Ray and until you are 18 you are with us." She slapped me so hard after saying that, and since then I maybe only saw her once or twice until that morning I woke up with Ray next to me in the hospital.
Years and years of therapy I went through and Ray and Jose was there by my side every step of the way. I finally began to trust and believe that I was worth something, but no one could touch anywhere from my neck down. I could not be hugged, no handshakes nothing, and they understood that. We had a special fist pump thing and then we would blow a kiss. College came around and thankfully Jose and I got into WSU, and we met a fireball friend named Katherine Kavanagh, or Kate for short. She became my roommate for the past 4 years. She has become the sister I've never had and always wanted. One night she accidently tried to hug me and I had one of the worst panic attacks I've ever had. She didn't understand what happened and when I came to I gave her the basics and just told her I had an abusive childhood and couldn't be touched. To this day she doesn't know the fullest extent. I don't want anyone to know or see the real me.
One night about 3 weeks ago after final exams for our final year of college we were at a club. Jose was becoming all handsy with me and I was about to use my self-defense skills that Ray taught me until Jose got a call from the babysitter. His girlfriend returned and was with some man that was hitting her and yelling, and that the police were on their way. By the time we got there I couldn't believe the scene that unfolded. She was on the floor with blood coming from her neck and abdomen and Jose was screaming and looking for Lilly. What he found was indescribable. The man that she was with, to this day we have no idea who he was, murdered the babysitter, the girlfriend and burned Lilly with cigarettes. She received three right down the middle of her throat. No identity was given whatsoever so he escaped. So as a friend and the attachment that I always felt to her I became her mother. Jose was never the same he became a recluse, and an alcoholic he basically abandoned everyone including Lilly. He came around every once in a while, he let me file legal guardianship so I had rights to her. Ever since that incident she has not been the little girl that I grew to love.
She doesn't really acknowledge anyone except Kate or myself. The first time I tried to bathe her after the incident and apply her ointment on her burns, she had the worst temper tantrum I have ever seen in a child. We finally came to the realization that you can't touch them and I realized that she was just like me. I vowed right then and there no one would hurt my child ever again. Through all this she will not talk or socialize with anyone, it's been weeks since I've seen her laugh or smile and she doesn't even want to walk. She only says one word "Princess" and she is my princess. I'm going to find the best therapist in Seattle to help her. She only wants to be carried and cuddled with. That's fine with me as I've never had motherly love and she hasn't, I will reverse the cycle of abuse. So every night we watch a different princess movie and she clutches her doll to her neck and we cuddle. She used to be such a social butterfly but know she has become a recluse like me
The weekend after the club disaster Kate went to Seattle to interview some big shot CEO and I stayed home with Lilly as Jose, my father Ray, and Jose Sr. All went on a fishing/camping expedition. As I am cuddling with her on the couch watching our favorite Princess movies, I heard a knock on the door and it startled me. As I opened the door there were two police officers standing there and I got the announcement that had changed my life. There was an accident and all the men are being rushed to the hospital. I packed Lilly's bag so fast and headed there thank god they drove us since Kate was in Seattle as I had no way to get there. As I was running into the ER I saw with my eyes that they pronounced time of death to my father. If I wasn't holding Lilly, I would have been on the floor crumpling like a baby myself. Then I saw them rush Jose Sr. to the OR and I ran to Jose. They were working on him as he had blood coming out of his mouth and everywhere.
"We were loading the boat to go to our spot and the next thing I know I heard a grunt and I looked around and Ray was at the boat and he was clutching his chest and he looked like he was having a heart attack. I went to him I promise Ana I did, then the fire that we had at the campsite somehow became uncontrolled while we attended to your dad. The next thing I knew there was some sort of explosion and my father and I were injured. I couldn't move and I looked to my dad and he had blood coming from his head, they say he's not going to make it. I'm so sorry Ana I have just screwed my life up like no other ever since Susannah left. I just couldn't face my life without her and I did all I knew to do and that was alcohol and women. I hated the way my life turned out, I knew I could never have you so I settled for second best. Whenever I was with her I thought of you. Ana I always thought you would be the woman for me and I knew that you didn't want anyone so I always had to restrain myself away from you. I hate to admit this but I purposely got Susannah pregnant so I could have a child with you."
"That's why she looked so much like me? Jose, I always told you we were friends nothing more. Why would you do that to yourself and to Susannah? God I'm so stupid to think you actually cared about me, you were using her as a replacement or a substitute for me weren't you?" I'm all but screaming at him in the middle of the ER. What the hell was he thinking settling for some woman because he couldn't get me, how does that make me feel? It makes me feel like he just wasn't a true friend like I thought he was. I feel so used and manipulated, he got what he wanted as I am taking care of his daughter. If he wanted a child, then why would he abandon her after her abuse?
"Jose why did you abandon her after her burns, after you supposedly planned this?"
"Because it happened because of me, Susannah found out about all of this after she was born. I told her the truth, and she was furious and left me with her. She said she only wanted the baby to be with me, and since I didn't want her and I wanted you so she gave me Lilly. I knew with your history you would eventually come around to me, and that we were meant to be. I felt so guilty about the killings and Lilly and I just didn't want to face it."
"No Jose you were wrong and you are wrong, how could you be so stupid? You have ruined so many life's its unspeakable what you have started. You were a brother to me and I trusted you with everything, I would tell you my nightmares, my dreams what I wanted from my life. All you ever thought about was your fucking self you selfish bastard. I'm done you are out of my life you basically did the damage to your daughter, and killed two innocent people with your actions." I am screaming at him I am livid.
Next thing I knew alarms were blaring and the doctor rushed in said they were losing him. Thank god Lilly was sleeping in her seat through all this, this is the last thing she needed was more trauma in her life. I got my cell and tried calling Kate, god why won't she pick up her cell. "Ana please take care of my daughter" he rasps out. "Time of death 1:45" I collapsed in the nearest seat as I lost it I couldn't feel anything. Why am I loosing everyone I cared about? My father who saved me from a life of darkness. Someone who I thought was my best friend but now I don't know any more what else was he hiding?
"Ma'am are you alright?"
"No I'm not can you show me to the waiting room?"
I tried calling Kate again and as she answered I hear her squeal loudly in the phone as she wouldn't let me get a word in edge wise. She proceeded to tell me about how she was doing the interview and they were interrupted by his brother walking in. That she met the man of her dreams, and she was on her way back now. The damn bursts open, I proceed to tell her everything and she said Steele don't worry I'm on my way.
I sat there in a daze and couldn't believe what was happening, and the sweetest cry took me out of my daydreaming. "Hey Precious girl I'm here and not going anywhere you and me sweetheart together forever." I sat there for what felt like hours reading and playing with her. Kate came running in "Any news on Jose Sr.?" As she took Lilly from my arms. As I was getting ready to respond the doctor came in and stated "Rodriguez family"
We stood up and as he told us they did everything they could and that there was too much bleeding, and there was nothing they could do to stop it. I felt like the world was closing in on me. The men I looked to in my life were gone. I had no one to turn too my mother was a Bitch that I want nothing to do with. I haven't spoke to her in years after what husband number three did to me. And now that three of the four people I trusted in the world are gone. Well I thought I could trust Jose but that shipped sailed. Can I trust anyone? What about Kate is she using me? As I sat there the doctor put his hand on my shoulder to send his condolences and I could feel the burning all over.
Thankfully Kate saw it coming and intervened before another panic attack. "Thank you doctor for doing everything you could do what is our next step?" As we sat there and thought about how to handle everything. Kate spoke up and said ok let's get Lilly home and I will call my parents to help with the funerals and other things that need to be done. Ana what are we going to do with Lilly?" As I looked down at her I felt such an attachment with her. "I'm going to file to adopt her". Kate just stared at me like I was crazy, and I explained that other than her Lilly is already mine and I might as well make it legal. "No one can break this motherly love and attachment I have with her Kate."
"Ana I know you love that little girl like she is your own, but you are 22 years old, we are graduating in a couple days. You haven't even lived your life, you need to open up and see the world." I just stared at her and that was the first fight we have ever had. "Well Kate, miss goodie too shoes who doesn't have a fucked up past. What I choose to do in my private life is my business and mine business alone, I was adopted by Ray how dare you insinuate that I haven't lived my life. I know I don't go out and sleep around with every god damn man out there, because I don't want to. If I die a virgin fine by me so either you support me or you don't, but don't question how I live my life from now on do you understand? Right now Jose the man I considered my brother has betrayed my trust like none other and now I'm not sure I can really trust anyone including you!" I was livid granted she doesn't know the history of my past and how similar it is to Lilly's, but I'm tired of people judging me for my scars and my lonesome life I choose to live. I've never had interest to go out and party and dance, I just don't want the chance of people seeing my scars and chance them touching me so I never did.
"I'm sorry Ana, your right it's your life and especially now. You know what you are doing and I will support you. I just wish you would live a little, and what the hell do you mean about Jose betraying you? You can trust me why do I have to continually tell you this."
"Kate I understand and thank you for agreeing with me but with my past I don't let anyone in trust me please. I know I still haven't told you everything but I just don't want to taint your life and scare you off. I have abandonment issues once I trust someone I don't want to be left alone so I've never let anyone in because I am too afraid that they will use me or worse hurt me. My own mother did it so NO I'm not comfortable putting myself out there. Jose knew everything and I found out tonight the truth about everything and I'm just speechless." I proceeded to tell her everything that Jose told me about Susannah and I, and the abandonment of Lilly.
"Ana you don't know me that well if you think that I will leave you, you are my sister and especially now we are in this together. Jose was a fucking bastard he had me fooled as well. You will not have to deal with this with me. I know you don't talk with your mom, are all your insecurities related with her?"
"Yes, Kate and I will tell you the basics or we will be here all night. My mother's third husband basically would verbally abuse me tell me that I was a mousy little girl, and I would amount to nothing. He was a severe alcoholic and drug abuser and dragged my mother into his lifestyles. One night he came home so wasted and said he was going to get me ready for his life. He proceeded to tie my hands and legs and used me as an ashtray and he called me his little delicacy tray that he could enjoy whenever he wanted to admire. I was never in so much agony and the whole time I later found out from Ray my mom was a sex club knocking her rocks off. Ray saved me thankfully from that hell and I will be ever indebted to him. That's why I can't be touched and Lilly is my daughter inside and out and I know with my issues I'm the best person for her and you know I've always been able to hold her. Her touch is the only one that doesn't burn when we touch."
"Oh my god Ana I'm so sorry you could have told me sooner no wonder you stay home away from others. Ana you are one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. I see the way men would look at you when we were walking back to our dorms how come you don't see that? You could seriously be a high fashion model?"
"Kate when you've been told for years that you were ugly, fat, and disgusting you eventually start believing. Ray made me go to counseling for years and it's helped some but with these scars I'm a monster. If a man were to see the true me they would be disgusted. So I'm not going to put myself out here to become more heartbroken and become worse than I am now."
"Ana I will say one more thing and then we will be done discussing this. You need to find that special person that will make your heart race with excitement. When that special someone comes along it will make you come alive and you can't help it when this happens. Just don't shut yourself off from it happening. They will see the true you like I see, a heart of gold and not you scars. He will heal you like no other person out there will be able to." We stared at each other the longest time and thankfully she dropped it and we left the hospital just the three of us.
On the way home that night Kate called her parents and told them the entire situation, and asked for their help. The next morning her mother showed up with a lawyer with the initial adoption paperwork, as I sat there and filled everything in Kate and her mother worked on all the funeral's, and started packing for our move to Seattle. "Ana what are you going to do about graduation tomorrow?" I couldn't believe I forgot about that. After four years I'm finally getting my wish a college degree in English literature.
"Well I'm going to stay home and organize everything with Lilly and the estates. And I need to start applying for jobs online in Seattle, I'm going to look for something that I can do from home." My ideal job would be to help edit books at home so I don't have to go out, and especially with Lilly now it would be the ideal situation.
The next morning Kate left for graduation while I finished packing for the move to Seattle but then I realized that I needed to go to Montesano to organize everything at my father's, and the Rodriguez's. Luckily the estate lawyer is going to meet me there to organize the house and the will's and go through all of the paperwork. Later in the afternoon Kate walks in the door with a blonde guy, who is the nicest and bubbliest man I've ever met. But what do I know I'm such a recluse myself with all my issues, that I hardly talk to anyone, let alone men.
"Hello my name is Elliott nice to meet you. You must be Ana, and this cutie pie must be Lilly." I look at her watching Cinderella and she is staring at him with the biggest blue eyes I have ever seen. She is clutching her princess doll to her neck, she constantly does that. I think it is a safety net, to her burns to where no one can see or touch them. Ever since the incident she doesn't let anyone hold or play with her, only Kate and I. She just stared at him with wide eyes, and it made me feel so angry. Why would a man do this to her?
"Hello yes I'm Ana and this is Lilly, nice to meet you. I've heard a little about you. I didn't know you were going to be here?" I stare at Kate as I say this she knows of Lilly's and mine issues with strangers especially with men.
"I decided to surprise my special lady at her biggest achievement." He looks at her with such admiration, why can't I be normal and have someone look at me that way. Because you're a monster, you are ugly and no one will want you with all your scars, myself self-conscious states. That was drilled in my head so many times it's a normal thought in my life.
I turn towards Kate "How did graduation go?"
"Oh it was good I did my speech and then Elliot's brother did his speech. I didn't know that Elliott was coming till the end when I was rushing out of there to get here and help. He scared the shit out of me in the parking lot. when he caught up with me."
"Well good I just remembered, I'm going to have to go to Montesano to settle my father's estate, and the Rodriguez's estate. The lawyer is going to meet me their tomorrow and then I figured it will take a week to three weeks at the most to settle everything. It helps that they lived next to each other."
"Do you want me to come and help? My dad will be ok with postponing the move and my internship to help you, and as you know they are all aware of the situation."
"No I'll be fine it's my oasis going home and I'll be fine. I'm just going to go home pack everything, donate and then close it all. I think I may keep the house but sell the Rodriguez's house since my father's home is the only thing that helped me after my mom." Oh shit I forgot Elliott is in the room I turn around and think God he is on the couch watching Cinderella with Lilly. "You go and set up in Seattle and I will meet you there."
"Why would they name the cat Lucifer Lilly?" I hear Elliott ask and she just stares at him. The first thing I'm going to do in Seattle is find the best therapist I can afford and get her to talk. I don't want her to be fucked up like I am. The next morning Kate was there to oversee the movers to Seattle and as I'm packing my VW bug with Lilly to head to my fathers to meet the lawyer, I see Kate coming out with Elliott.
"Ana my mom and dad just called and they have they filed the adoption papers for you and for Lilly. They were able to fast track it and should be legal by the time you get to Seattle. So when you come home to Seattle all you'll have to do is sign the papers."
"Ok thank you so much Kate she and you are all I have left." I stare at Elliott and all I see is a warm friendly vibe in his eyes. Ray tough me some of his perception skills and I usually know when someone is good or bad. I just get this vibe when I'm around strangers. "Thank you Elliott for all you are doing helping Kate get to Seattle we really appreciate it."
"No problem Ana Banana, and I just want to let you know I'm not aware of the situation, Kate hasn't told me anything but what you are doing for that little girl is marvelous. I'm adopted myself and it takes someone with the right heart to do that."
"Your welcome and I have trust issues Elliott especially with men, and I can tell that you and I will be great friends but it will take me some time. But I will tell you this you cannot hug me or shake my hands." I felt I should tell him that since he would be around and I wouldn't want to scare him off for Kate as she deserves happiness. He opens his mouth and closes it like a goldfish for a couple seconds. "That's ok my brother is the same way so I understand."
"I keep forgetting to ask what is your brother's name again?"
Right before he was going to tell me Lilly starts fussing, and I know it's my time to get on the road as it settles her. "Well sorry to be in a hurry, but I need to get on the road. Kate please be safe and I will let you know when I get there."
"You too Ana and text me if I need to come and help I will. If everything goes well, I may end up joining my family in Barbados!"
We left and a couple hours later we pulled into the driveway, just as the lawyer Mr. Morgan did. "Good morning Ms. Steele I trust your drive was satisfactory?" "Well under these circumstances yes it was where do we start?"
He pulled out the biggest folder of paperwork I have ever seen. 4 1/2 hours later everything was signed and notarized. That night Lilly was down for bedtime and as I went through everything I made my list of what to do. Luckily Jose Sr. left everything to Lilly, and since I'm her legal guardian for the time being all the decisions go through me. I put Jose Sr's. house up for sale, kept Ray's house for Lilly and I since this is our oasis. It is on a lot of land with woods and a lake. It has a huge log cabin with a back wall of windows. I will just have to make some modifications for Lilly. I will convert my old bedroom to her room. I will take my father's room as it has a sitting room, and I can move my books in there. I just love to come here and read and look at Mother Nature. Maybe I will teach her how to ski at winter time. We could come here to escape the city when needed I thought. All the life insurance policies we received are going to come within a couple of weeks. I'm going to be able to maintain the utilities while we are in Seattle with the money so no worries there. First thing the next morning I had professional packers and movers that came to Jose Sr's and empty out anything not needed. I kept any mementoes for Lilly that I thought she would like when growing up. Such as military pictures, his dog tags, and all the pictures of Lilly and Jose. Even though I learned the true him he was Lilly's father and I have to accept that. I'll just put anything related to him in boxes and when she becomes of age we will discuss what she wants.
I also love my father's log home because it is isolated from the world. You wouldn't know there was this massive cabin in the woods unless you fly over. My father was a craftsman, and he built on this home for over ten years, and just finished it last year. It has custom stone fireplaces, 7 bedrooms each with their own bathroom. When you walk in the foyer goes all the way to the roof, and the main floor is wide open. This is my dream home; I will be coming at least once a month to get away. The house itself is twenty acres that he inherited from his father and then Ray built on it. His pride was his personal hanger in the backyard that he cleared himself. My father was a Blackhawk pilot and he had his own chopper that we keep there. He taught me to pilot years ago, and I love taking the chopper out every once in a while. The name is Steele Grey, Steele for our name and Grey was his nickname in the marines. He never told me why that was. So Lilly and I took her up one more time before we left, I always feel so in control, and at peace when I am in the air.
Two weeks later after the house sold fast think god, because I need to get to Seattle, I went out to check on my Wanda by beloved vw bug that Ray got me and she was dead. Well while I was upset, I knew I needed something bigger to take everything back to Seattle with us. I also knew Wanda was on her last leg and not reliable for Lilly and I. So we called a cab and went to a dealership, and bought a brand new Cadillac Escalade. I loaded up everything of ours, and it fit perfect. I love that it was the black and shines with the chrome detail and has tinted windows. That was Ray's dream car and I felt it was his final wish, and it's very practical with a child. After saying a long goodbye to the house I felt like I was saying goodbye to the past, and something inside me felt like something good was going to finally happen in our lives.
So as I finish glancing at her through the rearview mirror. She is watching her new obsession "Frozen". Oh my god she will not stop watching it, it is the cutest thing ever she mimics the movements of the songs. I feel like she wants to talk but she doesn't, I don't know if the burns did more damage than we initially thought. The first thing I'm going to do is get her tested. She has the burns on her neck, I wonder if that bastard burned her there because of her crying. Well now she makes no sounds at all. I know she can talk because she says Princess. Well crap its over I'll put it on one more time, that should put her to sleep in the car. Double crap it has started to rain and stupid me decided to take a different way so we wouldn't be stuck in a lot of traffic. I hate driving with a lot of cars on the road, let alone in the rain.
Yesterday Kate called and told me the apartment was all set up for Lilly and I. She decided to go to Barbados with her family and Elliott is going with her. Those two seem to be head over heels in love. So it will be just Lilly and I for a week, which will let us get settled in. I just need to figure out what to do for a job. I majored in English Literature so I'm going to look for a publishing job to see if I can do it from home. Right now with mine and Lilly's attachment issues I think it would be best. Well shit I just realized with Kate in Barbados I have no keys to the apartment I should have stayed another week instead of heading to Seattle. Well I guess I can get a hotel for a week that shouldn't be a problem. I'll just start looking for the job and the therapist for Lilly.
As I'm driving I notice two people walking up to the side of the road. This is so weird, but I know they don't mean any harm because the woman is carrying what looks like those Louboutin's heels Kate is always wanting me to wear. I will notice those shoes anywhere, because that is all Kate will wear. Then all I see through the rain is a head of copper hair raising his hands asking for a ride. Why not I don't think they seem like bad people dressed in expensive suits. There is something telling me stop and help so I slow down and put my hazards on and pull over. As I roll the window down to ask, I see the most beautiful grey eyes of the most beautiful man peaking in and staring at me and my breath catches. We just stare for what seems like hours. Finally, I realize I need to speak.
"Hello do you two need a ride?" Why do I feel like my heart is beating out of my chest?
The Adonis (where did that come from) says "Yes we do if it's no bother we need to get to Seattle." Why is he staring at me with what looks like shock or desire?
"Well that's where we are going you are welcome to join us hop on in." I have never had this reaction to a man before in my life. I feel like my whole body is coming alive just from his voice. I feel this magnetism between us it is so odd.
"Oh my god thank you so much" says the woman with him. She pushes him out of the way. They both climb in, the woman up front with me, and when the man opens the back door he sees Lilly and seems like he hesitates. He climbs in but stays closest to the door, farthest away from her as possible.
"Well my name is Anastasia but you can call me Ana, and this is my daughter Lilly" as I point to her my sleeve rides up and the man sees my burns and his face becomes pale, and then red like he's going to explode. I yank my sleeves down so fast that the neckline of my shirt goes down and he sees a couple on my back/neck area. He closes his eyes and it seems like he's countin, then opens his eyes and I see what looks like compassion in them. Then he and the woman both look to Lilly and they say hello.
"Sorry for the delay my name is Christian Grey and this is Ros Bailey"
He holds his hand out to shake my hand and I just stare at his hand. Well shit what do I do with my burns. In the past I would just change the subject really quick or pick something up really quick to avoid handshakes, but now I'm stuck in this car and there is no avoidance. However, I feel this inner peace and pulling so I decide to trust his compassionate eyes and face my fears and shake. "Nice to meet you." I feel my breathing pick up as I expect to feel burning but as his manly fingers grip my hand and touch my wrist, all I feel is a tingly feeling that goes to my toes. I think he felt it too because I heard his breath catch in his throat. I turn to Miss Bailey and try and shake hers and all I feel is lava on my hands that goes to my bloodstream and retract my hand so fast. "I'm sorry please don't think rude of me, it's nothing against you I assure you."
"It's fine sweetheart you are not rude I understand more than you know." as she stares at Mr. Grey. He just looks at her like a deer in the headlights. "Shit you picked up two strangers on the side of the road not rude at all."
"Well let's go then, oh thank god the rain stopped" As I start driving I glance back every once in a while at Mr. Grey and Lilly, she is flicking her eyes in between the movie and him. Then I catch him staring at me, those grey eyes can just draw you in.