AN: I'm baaaaaaaaack! So exciting! This is a filler chapter for a Xanderventure, then on to the assassins. Seriously, sorry it took so long and I'll be faster next time.

Disclaimer: not mine.

Chapter 7: Xanderventure!

Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip.

Plonk.

Driiiiip…

"Ghhhaaahhhhh…" Xander groaned, his head aching like an ax was embedded in his skull with a team of dancing goblins prancing on top. Another drop of water splashed off his nose, landing in the pool of murk at his feet. "The hell is going on?"

Raising his head to look around was unpleasant to say the least, and the view wasn't worth the extra pain. Darkness. Some dingy skulls that implied he was in a crypt. A couple guttering candles showed that Sunnydale's unique charm was on full display. The last thing he remembered was coming home from a solo night at the Bronze, a bundle of money hidden in his jacket lining (used clothes were easy to add new pockets in, at least). His pool hustle paid out in a big way, and then he discovered that Han was really good at poker.

Buffy was going to be so pissed. "Don't get into any trouble without us, Xand. We'll see you for yoga tomorrow!" Stupid girls' night. Buff, Willow and Joyce all took the day off to do facials and eat pizza without him. "Must obtain male friends…"

His hands were tied together and pulled above him, hooked onto a chain dangling from the darkness above. An alarmingly loud growl came from one corner and he jumped, twisting his head to stare and pulling at his hands frantically. "Who the hell is there?"

The ominous chuckle from another patch of darkness wasn't exactly comforting, but no other reply came. The slow drip continued, sending shivers down his spine. "You know, i have scary friends. Big, growly, mean friends that will find you and kill you."

Still nothing.

Buffy's toenails were a particularly glittery shade of pink now, and it was making her feel pretty good about life. "This was definitely a good idea, Mom."

"Well, I'm just glad I could get you two girls all to myself for a day," Joyce said, wrapping her arms around Willow and Buffy, kissing Buffy's cheek.

"I just hope Xander isn't too bored by himself," Willow said, frowning a little.

"Huh...I think I just sensed a disturbance in the Force…"

Xander's entire body was a big ball of pain, radiating down from his wrists. The laughing jerk left a while ago, but the growls still came from the corner every now and then. At this point he was willing to risk that it was some kind demon guard dog rather than a person-type demon and was working on wriggling out of his bindings. Han was helpfully pointing out that at least it wasn't handcuffs so he wouldn't need to break his thumb to escape.

"C'mon, hands, get smaller!" Xander panted out, "I am not OK with dying right now!"

Finally, his right hand pulled free, mostly numb at this point from the loss of circulation. "Ha ha! I am the master!" Xander crowed, flapping his hands a bit to wake them up. "Only, not the old creepy vampire kind. Damn this hurts!"

The snick of claws on stone was his only warning.

"No, Wills, I'm really, really sure that Xander's in danger. Can you just stall for me? I'll be back as fast as I can," Buffy whispered to Willow. Joyce was in the kitchen getting another mug of tea and Buffy wanted to sneak out for a quick rescue.

"Alright, if you're sure," Willow glanced nervously at the kitchen. "I can try and tell her you needed the bathroom. You're the one in trouble if she doesn't buy it though."

"Take that! You dungeoneering bozo!" Xander gave a final kick to the corpse of what seemed to be a hell hound. Somehow, he'd ducked out of the way just in time as it leapt for his throat, scrambling away and finding a heavy chain to swing at it. The scuffle lasted just a few minutes. Xander got a couple nasty bites for his troubles, but in the end he managed to wrap the chain around the hound's throat and choke the life out of it.

"Mr. Harris, where are your manners?" Xander spun towards the voice, chain rattling in his hand. "I go to the trouble of giving you such comfortable accomadations and you turn around and murder my pet! Very rude indeed."

"Who the hell are you?" He was proud of how non-shaky his voice came out. Han's swagger came and went sometimes.

A pale, thin demon stepped into the light. It's fangs were bared in the mockery of a polite smile, two of its four arms spread out in a welcoming gesture. The other two were each clutching a shopping bag; Xander could see the celery poking out the top.

"Simply a concerned citizen, trying to keep the streets clean for our youths. Also, I needed some fresh meat for my dinner tonight and you seem...tender."

The demon lunged, groceries scattering on the floor. His mouth was suddenly about three times as big, fangs behind fangs, venom dripping.

"Not today, buddy," Buffy's bright voice chirped out, just as a sword plunged through the demon's chest. "Now, you know it's not nice to try and eat people's friends."

She reversed her stance jerking the sword out and slicing it through the air, decapitating the demon in a swift move.

"See what you made me do?"

"Buffy! Man, I am glad to see you!"

AN: review and stuff.