Hello, lovelies! I'm here with a new and improved story! ...I hope. Sorry to keep you folks waiting, but other fandoms have attracted my attention. *glares menacingly at Hamilton*. Anyway, I'm back now and I hope you all enjoy this chapter even though it's really short and I'm sorry for that. ~Shaymie
"Remember me as I was, not as I am." ~Fall Out Boy, Rat A Tat Tat
To my dearest Ryan,
I'm so sorry for everything I've done. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you and your siblings from Don. I'm sorry for being such a terrible mother. I know that my apologies must mean nothing to you. I know that you must be mad at me for just giving up on you guys like this. I wish I was stronger, like you. I wish I wasn't such a pathetic excuse of a mother. I have so much I still want to say to you, but I can't put it into words. I'm so sorry, honey. I've left you some money underneath the mattress. It should be enough for a down payment on a house in La Push. Yes, La Push. I want you to go back home. I don't want you to stay anywhere near Don, and your brother should still be on the reservation. I'm not asking you to beg him for stuff, but ask him for help if you need it. I want you two to make up. I love you and Lucy and Trevor so much. Words can't describe how sorry I am for doing this to all of you.
Love you always, Dahlia.
I smoothed out Mom's suicide note and wiped away my tears. The time for crying was over. I had done enough crying to last a lifetime at Mom's funeral. I had to be strong. I had to… for Lucy and Trevor. For Mom. She wanted me to be strong, stronger than she had been able to be. Part of me was angry. How could she be so selfish? We needed her. Lucy needed her. I couldn't be a mother and a sister. I couldn't take care of a moody thirteen year old and a sick four year old on my own, and I refused to impose on Uncle Trent. He had his own kids to take care of.
So I came to La Push, like Mom had asked me to. I hadn't yet bought a house because how the hell would you even go about doing that? I had no choice but to stay with Sam. My asshole of an older brother. Well, half-brother, technically. There was a distinct difference, one I refused to let him forget. I hated him. I hated his entire half of the family. When Mom was pregnant with Lucy, almost full term, she had begged Sam's mom to let us stay with her. She couldn't stand living with Don anymore. I had thought things would change. I thought that maybe we would be safe from him once and for all. But we weren't. That bitch didn't even listen to what Mom had to say. She had left us out there in the cold with nothing. We spent the night sleeping in the cold while Uncle Trent made the trip to La Push to pick us up. It was a miracle Mom hadn't gotten sick.
I gripped the steering wheel and glared at the house in front of me. It was now or never. I looked back at Trevor and Lucy, who were asleep in the backseat. I didn't want to wake them up just yet. Not until I was sure we had a place to stay. If all else failed, we could probably get a room at a hotel. I wiped my sweaty hands on my dress and got out of the truck, stumbling slightly in my heels. We had left immediately after Mom's funeral and I hadn't had time to change yet. I walked to the front door on shaky legs and took a breath as I rang the doorbell.
Please be home, I thought anxiously, rubbing my hands together. Maybe I should have thrown on a hoodie. I was freezing in this stupidly short dress. I scowled as nobody came to the door. Was nobody home? It was the middle of the night. Maybe they were asleep. Great. Just great. I stomped over to the car and got back in, slamming the door behind me. Thankfully my siblings didn't wake up. They were pretty heavy sleepers. I grabbed the blanket that had fallen on the floor and draped it over them. They looked so peaceful sleeping, I didn't have the heart to wake them up. I cut the car off and yawned. Maybe we could sleep in here for the night, I thought as I settled back in the seat.
"Night, Trev. Night, Lucy…"