A/N: KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Gomenasai!! Gomenasai!! Gomenasai!! I am SOOO sorry!! This chapter is EXTREMELY late, I know!! I'm sure you don't want to hear the explanation for why it's so late, but I'll tell ya anyway. See, this is what happened. I was working on chapter 8, and I already had the beginning of chapter 9 down. But the next time I went to work on my fic, ALL THE CHAPTERS HAD SOMEHOW BEEN ERASED FROM THE FLOPPY DISK I KEEP THEM ON!! I was going to re-write chapter 8, but I couldn't remember what all was in it! And then school took over, and they were just SWAMPING us with projects (we're talkin', like, a new project every four days!) and I couldn't get to work on the chapter. Then I couldn't find the floppy disk. I am, again, EXTREMELY sorry this chapter is so late! For those of you who haven't abandoned the fic, here's chapter 8!


It was a hot day in Tokyo, and the Inu-Yasha crew was sitting in Kagome's living room in front of the fan. (Poor Kagome didn't have air-conditioning.) Shippo had just started wailing about how hot it was when a potted plant came sailing from behind and nailed him in the back of the head. (A/N: It's fun to abuse Shippo. Yet at the same time, it's so wrong.....hm. A dilemma.)

"OUCH!! Who did that?!" Shippo shrieked as he jumped up, rubbing the back of his head and looking for the culprit. A baseball came sailing out of the shadows and hit Shippo in between the eyes, knocking him cold.

"Oh my god! Shippo, are you OK?!" Kagome shouted as she ran to the kitsune's aid. A large amount of laughter came from the direction in which the flying objects had come.

"My my, you're an amusing bunch." A voice said. Inu-Yasha whisked out his Tetsusaiga, ready for action.

"Who's there?" He barked.

"Now now Inu-Yasha, no need to get so uptight." The voice said. A dark form came jumping out of the shadows and knocked Inu-Yasha's Tetsusaiga out of his hand. "Now then, time for a formal introduction. My name is Kiri." Said the owner of the voice. The Inu-Yasha cast members stared.

Kiri was tall, with long black hair, almost as long as Inu-Yasha's. She had claws, fangs, pointed ears, and bright green eyes, but her oddest feature was the tail poking out of the back of her pants. The tail was long and orange, with black stripes, meaning it was a tiger tail. She wore clothes similar to Sesshomaru's clothes, but hers were black instead of white.

Shippo had just regained consciousness, and jumped when he saw Kiri.

"WAAAH!! A demon!!" Shippo screamed as he ducked behind Kagome. Kiri laughed again.

"You've got that right Shippo." She said with a smile, showing off her gleaming fangs. She picked up the Tetsusaiga, holding it out in front of her. "This is a fine sword you have here Inu-Yasha." She said as she continued to admire it. Inu-Yasha growled at her. "Well, if you're going to get so upset about it..." Kiri mumbled irritably. She tossed the sword back to Inu-Yasha. "You can have it back."

"What do you want?!" Inu-Yasha demanded. Kiri grinned a mischeivious grin that sent shivers down everyone's spines.

"Well, if you have to know..." She began as she started slinking around the room in a cat-like manner. "Tigris wanted me to invite you all to a pool party. You know, since it's such a hot day and all."

"Tigris?" Sango asked. "Isn't she that girl who keeps bothering us?"

"Well, how rude." Kiri said mockingly. "I guess if you don't want to be nice to Tigris, I'll just tell her you can't come."

"Wait!" Kagome called. "Sango didn't mean it, RIGHT Sango?" Kagome asked as she elbowed Sango.

"Er...right." Sango said nodding, having caught on just in time.

"Oh good. Well, first we have to round up the others, then we'll go and get swimsuits for those of you who don't have them." Kiri said as she pulled out a small list.

"What others?" Miroku asked curiously.

"THESE others. Ahem. There's Sesshomaru, of course, Rin, Kikyo, Koga, and Naraku." Kiri said, reading the list. "Some of you may be wondering why Tigris chose to include the last three, but I assure you she has her reasons. Now, before we get going, you got anything to drink around here?"

Kagome pointed to the kitchen, and Kiri walked off.

As Kiri noisily gulped water in the kitchen, and Kagome ran off to get her swimsuit, Inu-Yasha sheathed Tetsusaiga and scowled.

"How do we know we can trust that Kiri? Just who the heck IS she anyway?!" he mumbled irritably.

"Kukukukuku. She is an incarnation of myself." Naraku's voice said from behind them. Inu-Yasha whipped out Tetsusaiga and spun around.

"NARAKU!!" he barked. He then dropped his sword in surprise. For standing behind them was NOT Naraku, but none other than: myself, speaking into a microphone attached to a black box with a dial on the side.

Laughing at Inu-Yasha's expression, I turned the dial and spoke into the microphone. "What's the matter Inu-Yasha? Is your simple little hanyou brain confused?" said Sesshomaru's voice. Inu-Yasha immeadiately became angry.

"WHAT THE-?! How the HELL did-?! What are-?!" he spluttered. "JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!"

"It's my NEW sparkle sparkle VOICE CHANGER!" I shouted, triumphantly holding it up in front of Inu-Yasha's red face.

"What's a voice changer?" Shippo asked excitedly, hopping up and down.

"It's a device that allows anyone to speak in another person's voice! I built it myself. You just speak into this microphone, with the dial set to whatever voice you want, and the words you speak come out of this box in the voice you set it to." I explained. Everyone in the room stared blankly. "Let's try a demonstration then, shall we?" I said, turning the dial. "How about.....Shippo."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Help! Kagome!!! Save MEEEEEEEEE!!!" Shippo's voice screamed. Everyone except Shippo collapsed, laughing. Shippo scowled. "HEY!! I don't sound like that!" He said, turning to the rest of the group. "Stop laughing! Stop it!! KAGOME!! MAKE THEM STOP!!"

"Inu-Yasha...." Kagome said dangerously, having retrieved her swimsuit.

"WAIT!! Kagome, DON'T!!" Inu-Yasha shouted.


Inu-Yasha was then slammed into the floor with a very loud WHOMP. This made everyone laugh harder.

"Hmmm, who shall we try next? Oh, I know! Sango!" I said, turning the dial of the voice changer.

"I'm madly in love with Miroku. I'll always deny it if you ask me, even though it's so obvious!!" Sango's voice said after everyone had stopped laughing. The laughter ensued again while Sango stood seething with rage. Miroku walked over to Sango.

"So, Sango...." Miroku began as his hand started doing what his hand does best. Sango then slapped Miroku so hard he went sailing through a wall and outside and through a tree, before getting flattened against the side of a building.

"Ouch." Kiri said, coming back from the kitchen.

"Indeed." I answered. "Care for another?"

"Oh yes, please do." Kiri said. I turned the dial again.

"Hmph. I would never be in "love" with anyone. But I don't realise that soon I will develop feelings for the wolf boy, Koga." Kagura's voice said.

"That's not true!" shouted the real Kagura as she came crashing through the window.

"Aaaawwww. That window was just repaired!!" I whined.

"Kagura! What an honor!" Kiri exclaimed as she walked up and started wringing the wind-user's hand.

"Hey, back off!" I yelled, pushing Kiri out of the way. "Kiss-up." I mumbled before wringing Kagura's hand myself. "Well, it looks like we have another guest for the pool party!!"

"Pool party?" Kagura asked blankly.

"I'll explain later. Let's go!" I said as Andy the censor/hit man walked in.

"To the bus!" Kiri exclaimed.

"I was gonna say that..." I mumbled.

So, everyone boarded the bus and set out to pick up the other guests. As the vehicle sped through downtown Tokyo, taking many "shortcuts" down alleyways and through people's property, the cast members began to converse.

"So, who is that girl anyway?" Kagura asked Kiri.

"Oh, she's Tigris. She's just a human, but she has weird powers. She transported all of you here to present-day Tokyo and pretty much controls your lives by manipulating you into doing different tasks." Kiri explained.

"I don't like the sound of that. Perhaps I should just kill her." Kagura said, pulling out her fan. At that moment, Adam, the newly-hired security guard, walked up and snatched Kagura's fan. "Hey!" she shouted, grabbing at it.

"Sorry, but I can't have you killing Tigris. I won't get paid." Adam said.

"GAAAAHHHH!!! Andy, are you trying to get us arrested?!?" I shouted as the bus sped up and took a very sharp left turn. Everyone was thrown to the left side of the bus, causing Kagome to crash into Inu-Yasha, Sango to crash into Miroku, and Shippo to crash into a window.

"Uh.. sorry..."

"Get offa me!!"

"splat! OW!!"

"Going somewhere Sango?"

"SLAP Pervert!"

Just as everyone recovered from crashing into each other, they were all thrown forward as the bus came to a sudden, screeching halt in front of a fancy-looking hotel.

"OWW!!" Shippo cried as he hit the windshield.

"Wow. I wonder who's staying here?" Kagome said as Kiri and I got off the bus to fetch the first guest.

The cast waited in silence, watching from the windows of the bus for several minutes. Suddenly, a flash of green light was seen about 14 floors up, followed by loud crashes, screams, and explosions.

"WAIT, PLEASE!! WE JUST WANTED TO-" was heard before Kiri was cut off by another crash and several flashes of green light.

"I'll help you, L-" came a high, annoying voice before it was cut off.

"GIVE ME THAT THING, YOU SLIMY TOAD!!" I shouted. There was a loud screech as a large fireball came shooting out of the window, followed by a small, rather blackened object, which landed a foot in front of the bus. There were about another 5 minute's worth of crashes, explosions, and flashes of green light before Kiri and I came back out of the hotel, bleeding, burned, and followed by Sesshomaru and Rin. Jakken, it turned out, was the blackened object lying in front of the bus.

Sesshomaru and Rin boarded the bus, choosing seats in the back.

"That's it," Kiri said coughing as she dusted herself off, "I am NEVER dropping in on Sesshomaru uninvited again."

"Well, it's your own damn fault you know." I told her, brushing debris out of my hair. "You didn't even TRY to use Rin as a human shield."


"All right! Let's get moving!!" Andy said as he revved the engine. There was a loud exclamation of "No, wait!! STOP!!" from in front of the bus before Andy hit the gas and Jakken was hit with a face full of bus grille.

"Quick, back up, back up!!" I shouted. Andy threw the bus in reverse and Jakken got a clear view of the bumper sticker reading "I eat my road kill" before he got a face full of bus bumper.

The bus again sped off. This time, everyone except Sesshomaru and Rin gripped the edges of their seats very tightly. After Rin crashed into Sesshomaru during a right turn, they both learned to hang on too. The bus soon came to a stop in a very small, dirty alley, with many types of profanity and offensive language spray-painted everywhere. Kiri and I once again got off the bus.

"OK, be carefull this time." I said as we walked to a door.

"Take your own advice." Kiri snapped as she knocked on the door. After a moment of waiting, we went inside. Everyone else watched from the safety of the bus. There was a moment's silence. Then, a loud crash and a shout.

"Guard yourselves, fools!! The Soul Edge shall be mine!!"


I ran out the door, closely followed by Kiri as a large axe swiped at us.

"Shut it, shut it!!" I yelled. Kiri slammed the door, then blocked it with several conviently placed cinderblocks and large pieces of lumber. We then collapsed, panting, against the wall of the alley. "Oy. I hate Soul Caliber 2 characters." I said.

"Tell me about it." Kiri said. After resting a minute, we walked to another door and knocked. This time, a certain miko with an eye patch answered the door. "Oh, hi Kaede." Kiri said politely, coughing as a large cloud of smoke came out of the room behind the door. "Could you maybe point us over to you-know-who's place?" Kiri asked after she stopped coughing. Kaede glanced around shiftily, then pointed to a door to the right of hers. I walked over and knocked. The door opened slightly.

"So, what can I do for ya?" A voice asked. "I got it all: crack, weed, 'shrooms..." I quickly shut the door.

"Not THAT you-know-who!" Kiri shouted. "The OTHER you-know-who!!" Kaede pointed to a door to the left of the crazy Soul Caliber character's place. I walked over and opened the door.

"Oh hey, check out this cool mirror!" I said as I peeked inside. "Wait a minute, a mirror?!?!" I then quickly jumped away from the door. "Yeah, this is the right place." I said. Kiri walked over and we both dashed inside. In the silence, a slight glugging noise could be heard from somewhere behind the door. There was another moment of silence.

"EEEWWW!! That's so GROSS!!" Kiri said.

"Look out! He's trying to-" I began, before I was cut off by a crash. Several bits of flesh and demon parts came flying out into the alley.

"GET HIM!!!" Kiri shouted. There were more crashes, followed by several grunting noises, with the sinister glug in the background.

"Look out!! It's K-" I was cut off again with another crash.

"Quick, knock him out!"


"Fools! You cannot defeat me!"

"Just watch us!!"


"Quick, wrap him up in this gaudy pelt!!"

There were a few more silent moments, and then Kiri and I came out dragging a struggling baboon pelt. We dragged it over to the bus, and tossed it inside before boarding the bus ourselves. Once on, we quickly hand-cuffed the person inside the baboon pelt to the seat.

"NARAKU!!" Inu-Yasha shouted, jumping up.

"NARAKU!!" Miroku shouted, also jumping up.

"NARAKU!!" Kagome and Sango yelled at the same time as they too jumped up.

"N-naraku?!" Shippo shrieked, diving under one of the seats.

"Hey hey hey!! Back to your seats!!" Kiri shouted. She then dashed over and shoved each of them down. "You can kill Naraku later." Inu-Yasha, Miroku, and Sango all sat back down, scowling.

"Wait a second." Kagome said. "If Naraku was there, doesn't that mean Kohaku was too?"

"Kohaku?" I said nervously. "Hehheh. Wh-who's Kohaku?"

"Yeah, we don't know a Kohaku." Kiri said as she quickly stuffed the chain sickle she was holding behind her back.

"What?! Kohaku?!" Sango cried, jumping back up. She then started running to the front of the bus.

"Andy! FLOOR IT!!" I shouted. Everyone was thrown to the back as the bus went screeching out of the alley.

After Sango had been subdued, I walked over to Kagome. "You'd do well to guard your TOUNGE, MISSY!!" I shouted at her. Several minutes later, the bus pulled up in front of a zoo.

"OK, this time everyone except Naraku should come. We may need your assistance." Kiri said. So, everyone, except Naraku, exited the bus. We hadn't walked very far before Koga's voice came floating over to the group.

"You've got to fight this tyranny!! Break free of these cages comrades!! Join me, and together we shall overthrow the humans!!" Koga shouted. We came upon him at the wolf enclosure. He was shouting at the wolves while adults watched him in fear and small children cried. "Rise up and fight!! RISE UP!! R-" Koga shouted, until Andy fired a tranquilizer dart, which hit him in the butt.

"Oops. Dart in your ass." Andy said.

"Why you!! You...." Koga said, swaying slightly. He then collapsed.

"Andy, how many times have I told you to hit the carotid artery? You hit him in the ass!" I said, handing Koga to Kiri.

"Yeah, carotid artery." Andy said.

"That's in the NECK!" I said with clenched teeth.

"No it isn't." Andy said.

"Yes it is!!" I shouted.

"Yeah, I know." Andy said, smiling.

"Get. Back. On. The. Bus."

Everyone boarded the bus, and Andy sped off in the direction of the location of the last guest on the list. The group sat in silence as they were jostled about by the speed of the bus. Suddenly, my cell phone rang. "Hello, Tigris Help Hotline, how may I help you?"

A woman's voice could be heard screaming hysterically, with gunshots and dogs barking in the background. "OK, Ma'am, just calm down." I said as the woman continued. "Ma'am, M-Ma'am! Would you shut the hell up, bitch?!" I then hung up.

The bus came to a stop in front of a very depressing, goth-type cafe. Kiri and I walked in. There was very depressing music playing, and very depressed-looking or goth people sitting at the tables as people recited depressing poetry up on the stage.

"Say, ask if those guys have a gun on them. I'm gonna blow my brains out." Kiri said, in a very depressed way. I grabbed her by the shirt and slapped her.

"Snap out of it!! Think happy thoughts!! Chocolate!! Pizza!!! Pocky!!! SESSHOMARU TOPLESS!!!" I shouted as I continued to slap her.

"Sorry. I don't know what was wrong with me." Kiri said, in a happier way than before.

"And the blood drips from the murderous bow onto the cold ground, where the bleeding body lies...." came a voice from on stage.

"That poetry!!" I shouted, grabbing Kiri and shaking her. "I recognize that death poetry!!" And when I looked up on the stage, I saw none other than Kikyo.

"Wow. You knew Kikyo would be here?" Kiri asked.

"No. I just stopped in to buy a can of Vamp." I answered. "It's an energy drink. I need that boost, you know?"

"Well, you buy your drink. I'll go get Kikyo." Kiri said as she headed towards the stage.

"NO!! Stop, you fool!! You know not your peril!!" I shouted, running after Kiri. When Kiri reached the stage, she tried to drag Kikyo off. Kikyo then shot at her with a sacred arrow.

"AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Kiri screamed as she ran away.

"Amateur." I mumbled. "HEY KIKYO!! Inu-Yasha's outside, and he's ready to go to hell with you!" I yelled at Kikyo. She immediately dropped her bow.

"Really?! How does my hair look? Does my breath smell OK?" she asked like a giddy schoolgirl. As she headed for the door, I grabbed a lead pipe that just happened to be lying around and hit her over the head with it, knocking her out.

"Piece of cake." I said, grinning cockily at Kiri as I dragged Kikyo's limp form outside and to the bus. I then strapped her into her seat using various restraints such as chains and ropes, and sat down. "OK, Andy! To the mall!"

"The mall? I thought we were going to the pool?" Kagome asked.

"We will, but first we need to get swimsuits for those of you who don't have them."

"Sesshomaru-sama, what's a mall?"


At the mall, the cast members, Kiri, and myself walked past many stores towards the swimsuit store, having to stop a few times to let the various cast members ogle at whatever item they wanted to see. At one point, Miroku practically begged to look in a Victoria's Secret store, but was quickly silenced by Sango.

"Hey, this store has coin-operated boys!!" Kiri exclaimed, pressing her face against a window.

"Really? Let me see!" I said. After several minutes of ogling, we moved on.

"If only we'd had more money...." Kiri sighed dejectedly.

"Say, we've been walking for awhile. Shouldn't we be there by now?" Sango asked.

"It should be right around this corner here," I answered. We turned a corner and came to what appeared to be a large, but closed, store. There was a small sign pinned up on the wall reading: "Sorry, we've moved! Look for us at our new location!"

"There's nothing there." Miroku said skeptically.

"No, no, I assure you, this is the place!" I replied.

"But it says right on that sign that the store moved." Kagome said.

"Or DID it?" Kiri said mysteriously. Everyone looked at her in slight puzzlement. Kiri and I sighed.

"Haven't you people learned ANYTHING in the time you've spent slaving away under my twisted aspersions?" I asked. They all stared blankly back at me. Sighing again, I snapped my fingers. Instantly, lights came on in the store, and the doors opened, revealing hundreds of racks and shelves full of nothing but swimsuits. The cast members gaped.

"How did you do that?!" Eleven puzzled voices asked in unison. (Yes, count 'em, there's eleven!)

"It's a new feature of the Magic Keyboard: the Magic Keyboard Wireless version! As seen on TV!" I pulled a small white device that looked kind of like an iPod out of my pocket. "You just think about what you want and snap your fingers. Snapping your fingers activates this little baby, and then it interprets your brain waves to figure out what you want, then it creates it!" I kissed the white device and slipped it back into my pocket. "Ain't technology great?"

"Anyway, let's get inside!" Kiri exclaimed as she herded the still very confused-looking cast members into the store. Kiri then started dividing them up into groups and explaining about swimsuits and their purposes. Kagome, who already had her swimsuit, was waiting idly by the entrance of the store.

"Say Kagome, I know you like Inu-Yasha." I said as I walked up to her. Kagome blushed a brilliant shade of red. "Anyway, you should try buying a few things from this store. It might just take his mind OFF of Kikyo, and ON to you." I said mischievously as I handed her a piece of paper with a store name written on it. She blushed an even deeper shade of red as a store clerk walked by.

"AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH!!!" He screamed as he saw her extremely red face. "EBOLA!!! She's got Ebola!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!" He then ran off screaming at the top of his lungs. Kagome hurried off to find the store listed on the piece of paper. Suddenly, there was an explosion from inside the store, and smoke billowed out from the entrance.

"Spare the children!! SPARE THE CHILDREN!!!!!" A woman screamed as she ran by with two little kids.

"WHY, God?! WHY?!?!" I shrieked as I ran inside the store. Nothing could be seen because of the thick smoke inside the store, but Kiri could clearly be heard shouting frantically.

"No, wait!! Cut that out!! No, not the face!! That's not nice!!"

As the smoke began to clear, the scene of chaos before me was revealed. It was utter havoc. Naraku was trying to kill every one of the cast members, Inu-Yasha was trying to fight Naraku, Koga, Sesshomaru, and Kagura all at once, Kikyo was trying to kill Inu-Yasha and Naraku, Kagura was trying to kill Koga and Naraku, Koga was trying to kill Kagura, Sesshomaru was trying to kill Naraku, and Sango and Miroku were trying to kill Naraku and Kagura and fight Sesshomaru. (I really don't blame you if you didn't understand all of that....)

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!?!?! CAN'T I LEAVE FOR TWO SECONDS WITHOUT EVERYTHING GOING CRAZY?!?!?!?!" I shouted at Kiri, who was trying rather unsuccessfully to stop the fight.

"Hey, it's not my fault!! Kiri shouted as she dodged an arrow.

"Look, we don't have time for this!!" I shrieked as I snapped my fingers. Suddenly, everyone with the exception of Kagura and Sesshomaru was knocked unconscious. I snapped my fingers again, and Sango, Miroku, Inu-Yasha, and Koga woke up.

"Now, I want you all to behave like mature demons and humans. No trying to kill each other, and no fighting, OK? And no perverted actions." I said. "And Inu-Yasha and Koga don't need to fight over Kagome, because she's not even here right now." Just as I finished speaking, Shippo stepped out of the restroom.

"Did I miss anything?" He asked. I turned around and glared at him. He gave a small yelp of fright and hid in between two racks of swimsuits. About two seconds later, Rin came out of the other restroom.

"Now, I don't want to hear a SOUND out of any of you until I get Rin's and Shippo's swimsuits." I said. "UNDERSTOOD?!?" I shouted. There were a few murmurs of "yes" amongst the conscious cast members. I then turned around and walked over to where Rin was standing and Shippo was cowering.

"What a bitch." Koga whispered to Inu-Yasha.

"Yeah." Inu-Yasha agreed.

"I HEAR TALKING!!!!" I shouted as I whipped around to face them. They immediately clamped their mouths shut.

"Tigris-sama, what will it take to get you to be happy?" Rin asked.

"Pills. Get me some pills." I said quickly.

"OK! Rin will get Tigris-sama pills!" Rin said smiling as she walked over to Sesshomaru, who was holding up some black swim trunks with little blue crescent moons on them.

"Sesshomaru-sama, where are the pills?" Rin asked when she got up to him.

"Pills? What do you need pills for?" Sesshomaru asked, staring at the little girl.

"Tigris-sama says that the pills will make her happy and keep her from yelling." Rin said.

"Oh, SWEET SALVATION!!" I cried triumphantly as I pulled a bottle of Extra-Strength Headache pills out of my pocket. I quickly swallowed two. "It's OK Rin, I don't need pills anymore."
"OK!" Rin called as she walked back over to Shippo and I.

"Kiri, you help these two. I've got to go keep watch over the others." I said as I walked past her to where Inu-Yasha, Koga, Kagura, Sesshomaru, Miroku, and Sango were standing. "OK, everyone found a swimsuit they like?" I asked as I walked up to them.

Inu-Yasha held up a pair of red swim trunks that matched his normal clothes. Koga gripped a pair of blue swim trunks with little brown wolf tails on them that matched the color of his eyes. Kagura was holding a two-piece swimsuit which was the same color red as her eyes with little fans on them. Sesshomaru held the black swim trunks with the blue crescent moons. Miroku grabbed a pair of dark purple swim trunks with little hands on them, and Sango was holding a black one-piece swimsuit with boomerangs on it.

"OK, then we just have to get Rin's and Shippo's swimsuits, and we're done!" I said joyfully as I clapped my hands together.

"I already got them." Kiri said as she held up a pair of swim trunks for Shippo that were blue with little leaves on them, matching his shirt, and a one-piece swimsuit for Rin, which matched the trunks Sesshomaru had gotten. "And I got swimsuits for Naraku and Kikyo too." She held up a pair of black swim trunks and a black one-piece swimsuit.

"Then we're all set!" I said as I paid for everything and walked out of the store. Kiri followed, dragging Naraku and Kikyo. The rest of the cast followed us out, carrying their respective purchases.

We found Kagome waiting near the entrance of the mall, holding a bag that contained something she wouldn't show the rest of the cast members. We then boarded the bus and took off for the pool. As the bus sped through the streets of Tokyo, I faced the cast members.

"Alright everyone..." I began, raising my arms, "strip!" There were a few shocked stares.

"Sesshomaru-sama, what does 'strip' mean?" Rin asked.

"Allow me to demonstrate." I said as I snapped my fingers. Kikyo's limp form started floating, and then underwent what appeared to be a magical girl transformation, with a substantial degree of implied nudity. Once Kikyo could be seen clearly again, she was wearing her swimsuit. I snapped again, and she fell back into the seat.

"I'm not doing that!!" Inu-Yasha shouted, his face quite red.

"Well of course you're not going to go through a magical girl transformation, Inu-Yasha. You're just going to take all your clothes off and put your swimsuit on." I said in a fakely sweet voice, with a very scary smile on my face.

"Not in front of everybody else!!" He yelled back.

"Not in front of EVERYBODY else, silly." Kiri said. Inu-Yasha breathed a sigh of relief.

"Just all the males." I concluded. Inu-Yasha choked, and his face turned red again.

"OK, chop, chop!" Kiri shouted, clapping her hands. "Girls in the front, guys in the back!" They all moved to their respective places, grumbling. I snapped my fingers, and curtains sprang up in front of each group, shielding them from view.

"This is so stupid..." Inu-Yasha mumbled as the sounds of shifting fabric could be heard from behind each curtain.

"Why do we have to do this?" Sango asked from behind the curtain at the front of the bus.

"I still say we should just kill that girl." Kagura grumbled.

"Shall I?" I whispered to Kiri, smiling devilishly.

"Do it." Kiri whispered back, grinning. I snapped my fingers, and suddenly the curtains disappeared, revealing the cast members, all of whom were stark naked.

There was a moment's silence. Then, a collective "AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!" could be heard as they moved to cover themselves, except for Shippo and Rin, who did not quite understand the concept of embarrassment at seeing someone naked. Kiri and I whistled in unison as we got a good look at the males. I snapped my fingers again, and the curtains reappeared, once again hiding everyone.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!?!" Koga shouted, coming out from behind the curtain in his swimsuit.

"You have to admit, it was a nice view." I said, smiling. "What did you think, Kagura?" Kagura declined to reply, but a few small giggles from the female cast members could be heard.

"Kagura's so lucky. She got a clear view of Koga AND Sesshomaru!" Kiri exclaimed as she waggled her eyebrows in a comical fashion. Kagura came out from behind the girls' curtain and stood near the front, being sure not to make eye contact with Koga or Sesshomaru, although she did occasionally sneak glances at them, as if contemplating something.

Soon, everyone had changed and gotten back into their seats. By this time, Naraku and Kikyo had regained consciousness, and were very surprised to find their clothes missing and their swimsuits on them. After another ten minutes of sharp high-speed turns, the bus stopped just outside a very large pool. The deepest end was about 16 feet deep.

The pool was entirely empty, save for a lifeguard seated near the right side of the pool, flipping through a magazine. The lifeguard was wearing baggy camouflage army pants with a silver chain on the left side, and a white T-shirt with a red rose. The lifeguard had long blonde hair and blue eyes, and was wearing an army headband.

"Ahoy!" I called as I walked up to her. She looked up and quickly glanced at the group.

"Sorry, the kids can't come in. It's Adult Swim right now." She said, her eyes going back to her magazine.

"But there's no one there!" Kiri shouted. I put a hand up to silence her.

"Let ME handle this." I whispered to her. I then turned my attention back to the lifeguard. "Could we maybe persuade you to bend the rules just this one time?" I asked.

"It depends. What are you gonna give me?" She asked without taking her eyes off her magazine, which she was holding upside-down.

"How about a chance to meet the one and only Sesshomaru!!" I said in a game-show host-type voice.

"Sesshomaru?! Really?!?!" She asked excitedly as she jumped up.

"Yes! Just come on over and you can glomp him all you want!" I shouted.

Now, the cast members were standing near the entrance, which was on the left side of the pool, and the lifeguard was on the RIGHT side. As soon as she spied Sesshomaru, she immediately ran FORWARD, and fell into the pool, right at the 8-foot mark.

"Boy, talk about your dumb blondes." Kiri said as the lifeguard surfaced.

"That's right! I'm a dumb blonde and I'm PROUD!!" The lifeguard shouted as she swam over to the left side of the pool. She pulled herself out of the pool, then ran over and glomped Sesshomaru, knocking him backwards. She then broke into a long rant about how great Sesshomaru was.

"So, can the kids go in the pool now?" I asked her.

"Yes, yes, YES!!" She shouted as she huggled Sesshomaru.

"Good. I'm glad we understand each other." I said, smiling.

"All right!" Shippo exclaimed as he jumped into the pool at the shallow end. Rin had a little more patience.

"Sesshomaru-sama, can Rin go in the pool?" She asked Sesshomaru, who had by now managed to pull the lifeguard off.

"Yes." He said in his normally stoic manner as he brushed himself off.

"Yay!" Rin shouted as she jumped into the pool with Shippo.

"Hey Kagome! Check this out!" Koga called from the top of the high-dive. He then did a perfect swan dive into the pool.

"Wow! Nice dive Koga!" Kagome called as she clapped her hands.

"Feh! That's nothing, ya mangy wolf!!" Inu-Yasha shouted as he climbed up the ladder to the diving board. When he reached the top, he jumped off, and did an excellent belly-flop into the pool. "OWW!!!" He shouted as he made contact with the surface of the water. He then sank into the pool.

"Ouch. Surface tension be a cruel mistress." Kiri said.

"Aye." I agreed as I watched the bubbles come up from Inu-Yasha's position under the water.

"Say, what's that floating in the water there?" Kiri asked, pointing to the spot where Inu-Yasha had landed.

"I don't know." I said, squinting. "Something red...." There was a moment's silence. Then, Kiri and I burst out laughing. Floating in the water where he had landed were Inu-Yasha's swim trunks.

"What's so funny?" Miroku asked as Kiri and I collapsed, laughing.

"Look...HAHAHA...in the....AHAHAHA...water!!!" Kiri gasped between laughs, tears of mirth streaming down her face. Miroku looked over where Kiri was pointing, then burst out laughing when he spotted Inu-Yasha's trunks floating on top of the water like a tribute to his belly-flop.

"Inu-Yasha!! I think you've lost something!!" Miroku yelled as Inu-Yasha came up.

"What?!" Inu-Yasha shouted, looking around. "What are you talking about?!"

"Look behind ya, mutt-face!!" Koga shouted, a cocky grin plastered on his face. Inu-Yasha turned around and yelped as he saw his swim trunks floating in the water, and realized he was naked. He quickly grabbed them and put them back on.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?!?!" Inu-Yasha shouted angrily. By this time though, no one had the strength to stop laughing and say anything.

Soon, the majority of the cast members were in the pool. Only Kikyo and Naraku were still out of the water, Kikyo because she needed a tan, and Naraku because the lifeguard said he would contaminate the pool. Naraku was quite content however, entertaining himself by randomly squeezing Kagura's heart.

"Stop being so mean Naraku!!" Kiri shouted, rapping him on the head with a lead pipe after Kagura had collapsed in pain for the sixth time.

"Read a book or something." I said as he scowled at Kiri. "I've got one you'll like right here." I then pulled out a book and handed it to him. The cover read: "Villainy for Dummies! How to become a better villain in just 10 easy steps!" Naraku quickly immersed himself in the book.

"Are you sure that was a good idea?" Kiri asked.

"Oh come on, everybody knows those self-help books are a load of bull." I replied. At that moment, Naraku decided to try step one in the book: "Talk really loud, and in a language no one understands. People will fear you more if they can't tell what you're saying."

"PH33R M3, PH0R 1 4M T3H 3V1L B34V3R!!!" He shouted. He was met by several perplexed stares. Kiri and I, however, were laughing so hard that we couldn't breathe. Highly embarrassed, Naraku picked the book back up and went on to step two.

"See what I mean?" I asked Kiri. She replied with more laughing.

"WAAAHHH!! Kagome!! HELP!!!" Shippo's voice shouted from the deep end of the pool, where Inu-Yasha was holding Shippo's head under the water.

"Inu-Yasha, what are you doing to Shippo?!?!" Kagome shouted as she swam over.

"He was laughing at me!!" Inu-Yasha shouted defensively.

"Inu-Yasha...." Kagome said dangerously.

"No! Kagome, DON'T!!" Inu-Yasha shouted, holding up a hand.

"SIT!!" Inu-Yasha was slammed into the bottom of the pool with a loud splash.

"I wonder how long he's been down there..." I said after a minute or so.

"I don't know, but I think the bubbles have stopped coming up." Kiri said, pointing.

"Oh yeah....."
"Hey look, it's Sesshomaru!" Kiri said, pointing.

"OH YEAH!!" I exclaimed. We then spent a great deal of time staring at him and drooling. Suddenly, we were interrupted by a loud scream of pain from Miroku.

"MY EYES!!! It BURNS!!!!" He screamed, clawing at his eyes with his hands, and splashing water everywhere.

"Miroku! Are you OK?!" Kagome asked worriedly as she swam over to him.

"MY EYES!! MY EYES!!!" He shouted. Sango then swam over and slapped him.

"Now Miroku," I began once he had calmed down, "what happened?"

"Well, I opened my eyes while I was underwater-"

"Probably to stare at Sango's ass." Kiri interjected. Miroku blushed and started twidling his thumbs.

"Regardless. Please continue, Miroku." I said.

"So anyway, I opened my eyes underwater, and they just started burning! It was HORRIBLE!!" He shuddered at the memory, while the rest of the cast rolled their eyes.

"Oh, that was just the chlorine." The lifeguard interjected.

"Chlorine?" Ten puzzled voices asked.

"Yeah, it's, like, this chemical they put in the water, and it keeps the water clean." She explained.

"Oh, so THAT'S what that smell was!" Shippo exclaimed.

"I thought it was mutt-face over there." Koga said with a smirk.

"I thought it was Naraku!" Inu-Yasha shouted. Suddenly, Naraku jumped up and burst into tears.

"It's not my fault the only thing I know how to cook is baked beans!!" He cried tearfully. He then buried his face in his hands, and hid his face behind his book. Everyone stared at him.

"Hey, watch this!!" Sango called from the top of the diving board. She then did a jack-knife into the pool. "YOW!!" She shouted once she came back up. "This water's FREEZING!!"

"Hmmm...maybe I should turn the heat up in the pool." The lifeguard said. She then turned a knob, and jets of scalding hot water came shooting into the pool.

"AAAAUUUUGGGGHHH!!!" Inu-Yasha screamed as a jet hit him in the back. Koga and Kagura flashed devious glances at each other, and then began splashing the hot water at each other. Soon, everyone except Sesshomaru and Rin had joined in the splashing war.




"HOT! HOT!! HOT!!!!"


"As amusing as this is, perhaps we should rescue them." I said to Kiri.

"Hey, blondie! Turn the water off!!" Kiri shouted at the lifeguard.

"OK!" The lifeguard chirped in a Britney Spears-type voice. The lifeguard pressed a button, and the jets of hot water immeadiately stopped.

"Aahhhhhh.....It's like a hot spring now." Kagome sighed as she leaned back against the side of the pool. Suddenly, there was a loud "shlucking" sound.

"Hey, watch me!!" Shippo cried from the top of the hihg-dive. He then jumped off and proceeded to do a cannonball, just as the water began draining from the pool. "AAAGGHHH!! Kagome!! HELP!!!" He screamed once the water had completely drained from the pool. He landed in the pool, making a small indentation.

"Oh my god! Shippo, are you OK?!" Kagome shouted as she jumped up and ran to the kitsune's aid.

"Ooops! Well, I guess the pool's closed now!" The lifeguard said cheerfully. Everyone just stared.

"I am SO telling your boss about you." I said to the lifeguard.

"OK! Please come again!" She chirped.

"Let's get the hell out of here." Kagura huffed irritably. "I want to go home."

"Oh, we're not done yet." Kiri and I said in unison.

"WHAT?!" Eleven voices shouted as everyone whipped around.

"Come on! Back on the bus!!" Kiri shouted cheerfully as she pushed everyone towards the bus.


A/N: And so ends chapter 8. Again, I'm SO sorry it took so long. (Over a year since the last update. Yikes!) Anyway, thanks to CrumpledPieceofPaper for being the ONLY one to review chapter 7 WITH their e-mail address so I could insert them in the story. Well, new challenge! The first 5 people to review this chapter and tell me what two Cartoon Network shows I ripped off in this chapter, will get walk-in roles for Chapter 9! (Here's a hint: Sundays at 11:45 PM and 12:00 AM. There's another hint hidden in the chapter.) Don't sweat it if you don't know though. As long as you take a crack at it, I'll find a minor role for you. Of course, you have to be close. So, go now and hit that little button at the bottom of your screen! Limit three flames per person please!