Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, any of its many filler arcs or merchandise. i do however own my own spin on these various fanfic tropes that i mashed together, a cookie for the people who can name all of them :D

-Fancy interval wanted for this position, will pay in virtual chocolate chip cookies-

Eight year old Uzumaki Naru had no idea what was going on. She unlocked her chakra thanks to the instructions of the voice in her head (though she prefers to be called mother for some reason) and everything went black for a moment. Now she doesn't know exactly what happens to others when they manage to get their chakra unlocked, but they probably don't get floating blue boxes with messages in them.

Would you like to enable tutorial messages?


'Kaa-chan, what's a tutorial?' little Naru asks the ever dependent source of knowledge inside of her, her scarlet eyes staring cautiously at the floating box in front of her. Where her two siblings got whisker marks due to the Kyuubi's chakra having an influence on them in the womb, Naru got her badass red eyes that made her glares and stares a lot more intimidating. Which is a lot better than having a bunch of sensitive lines on your face if you ask her.

'Fufufu, a tutorial helps you by teaching you all you need to know about certain subjects. So if you press yes, those boxes will explain a lot about your chakra and other important things.' The motherly voice explains to Naru in an amused tone. The little girl lets out a silent 'ah' and presses the Yes button, not even wondering how she can touch the floating light thingy in front of her. The box disappears and suddenly gets replaced with a bigger one, this one having only a few words and some numbers on them.

Uzumaki 'Yasha' Naruko Lv. 1

HP 100/100

Chakra: 600/600

XP 0/200

Strength: 2 +

Perception: 6 +

Endurance: 7 +

Charisma: 3 +

Intelligence: 4 +

Agility: 8 +

Luck: 5 +

Remaining points: 10

And once again our little protagonist was stupefied. She had no idea as to what almost all of those words meant! Weren't there supposed to be more of those funny boxes to explain what was going on? Just as Naru was about to start ranting about how this was probably a joke, another box appears - a yellow one, she notices- with a lot of words in them. After some gentle prodding from the mother voice she starts reading, grumbling about there being too much words.

Welcome to your stats page! Right now it's a bit bare and there's not a lot of interesting things on it but don't worry, the more you discover and do, the more filled this page will get. But we will get to that when you unlock the other segments. For now we will talk about what makes you, well you. Each one of these seven attribute will play a major part in what skills will be available for you to learn! We could go on and on about each attribute and what it can do, but instead we will give you this nifty little rhyme that shall teach you everything you need to know to become your personal brand of SPECIAL!

S is for Strength, and that means I am strong! I can carry lots of toys and swing stuff all day long!

P is for Perception, a long funny word! It means what I tasted, smell, saw and heard!

E is for Endurance, and that's how long I can play! I'm always really healthy, and have energy all day!

C is for Charisma, it's why people think I'm great! I make my friends all laugh and smile, and never want to hate!

I is for Intelligence, it means I'm really smart! I use my brain for lots of stuff, like science, math and art!

A is for Agility, that's how I get around! I move real fast and easy, and I never make a sound!

L is for Luck, and it's simple, you see! It means that good things always happen to me!

Your stats can be increased in two ways, by investing stat points in them that you earn throughout the game, or through old fashioned exercise! Be careful though as the more points you get through training, the harder you have to train to get the next point. A basic rule for gaining stat points each level is INT/20 with a basic amount of getting one point each level

Now that she could understand! Naru giggles to herself as she starts thinking. So each stat makes her either faster, stronger, smarter et cetera (hey, she just used a big word!) and they help her decide in what she could do. And she has 10 more points to make those stats even better. But where should she put them? If she put them in strength, then she can punch Kiba waaayy harder when he annoys her again, but if she puts her points in intelligence, then she could get smarter than that know-it-all Sakura! Hmmm decisions, decisions…

"I'd put at least a few in strength if I were you."

Hmm, that makes sense, but how much should she put in there?

"Put three in it, that would bring it up to average. And you would be able to punch that Kiba boy harder."

Naru was not going to argue with that, so three points in strength it is! There are still seven left though. What else could she need?

"Bring perception up to 10 points. That way it will be harder for people to sneak up on you. Something tells me you're gonna need it."

True, it would be harder to sneak up on her if she knows what's going on around her. Only three points left now, and she'll put them in intelligence. She doesn't want to end up as stupid as some of those annoying kids in her class.

"Hmm, the idiots are the ones who get themselves killed first usually. Not a bad choice shorty."

"I'm not short you stupid old ha-" Naru shouts while whirling around in (self-proclaimed) righteous fury, only to stop confused as she finally notices the person behind her. She has purple hair tied in a spiky ponytail and brown eyes without pupils. Her attire of a short skirt, fishnet shirt and open trench coat do nothing to hide her curvaceous figure. Though what annoys Naru the most is the cheeky grin on the woman's face. Now, if she would know about Mitarashi Anko's reputation she might have picked her next words more carefully, but most likely not.

"Who are you and why are you reading my mind?" Naru questions Anko with quite an impressive glare for someone her age. Still, she only looks adorable to the second best interrogator at the T&I department. Only suicidal idiots claim they're better than Morino Ibiki.

"I didn't read your mind brat, you were talking to yourself about how you were going to put those two other little punks in their place." Though Anko had to admit being able to read minds would make her job a lot easier. Why oh why couldn't she have been born a Yamanaka? Meanwhile Naru didn't quite believe the weird lady and decided to ask a more trustworthy source.

'Kaa-chan, was I thinking out loud the entire time again?' The girl asks (silently this time) her mommy. All she receives is a feeling of amusement and a gentle prodding against her head, as if something were poking it. 'You were Naru-chan. Didn't I tell you to be more careful while thinking? You're lucky your motor mouth didn't bring you in trouble this time.' The voice gently admonishes her, mirth obviously laced in her voice. Naru simply shrugs and presses the ok button, her status screen now updating with the new numbers.

Uzumaki 'Yasha' Naruko Lv. 1

HP 100/100

Chakra: 750/750

XP: 0/200

Strength: 5

Perception: 10

Endurance: 7

Charisma: 3

Intelligence: 7

Agility: 8

Luck: 5

Would you like to activate the 'Wild Nations' Perk? This will turn otherwise serious encounters into zany, wacky moments that will make you giggle with mirth! Not for those serious of heart! (Warning, the choice you make now cannot be reverted)


Before either Anko or the Kaa-chan voice could give the impulsive girl the advice to really think things through, she already rammed the 'Yes' button with gusto. She's seen how boring and stuffy the serious people are the entire time, she doesn't want her life to end up like that! While happily ignoring the sighs of both women, Naru suddenly sees a tab called Perks next to the word stats in the upper corner. Seeing a yellow arrow flash at it she presses it. The yellow box explained everything, so the yellow arrow should point to the next yellow box right? And while Naru tried to wait patiently for the next tutorial message to pop up, she decided to read what 'Perks' she had.


Dark Girl: the shadows are your friend and you know it! Your natural affinity for stealth gives you a bonus of +3 Agility and all skills involving sneakiness and trap making will be learned at 150% speed. (Rank 1 of 3)

Flexible body: You may not be the strongest, but you sure are the one who can move and bend the easiest. Your agility increases at a speed of 250%. Your strength increases at a speed of 60% though.

Lesser Precognition: Trust your gut and it'll take care of you. You have the chance to predict when something bad happens or when powerful enemies are nearby due to your instincts. In battle you can slightly read the enemies' attack before it happens. You gain a bonus of +2 perception (Rank 1 of 5)

Transmigration: This is not your first life that you're living. Who knows what deeds you did when you were someone else? Random flashes of your previous life will be shown to you in dreams and who knows, you might (re)learn something new!

Uzumaki Chakra: Your Chakra reserves are increased by 500%. Your chakra is denser as well, decreasing jutsu cost with 10% and can be used in all kinds of unique ways. Skill level necessary to properly control C-rank jutsu and lower is increased by 300%.

Uzumaki Luck: You're the best at games, though whether it's through skill or luck nobody knows! When gambling your luck increases with 400% and sometimes you find treasure in the most random of places.

Uzumaki Vitality: You got one hell of a body and the stamina to match it! You get a +4 endurance and said stat increases at 200% speed. You also recover 30% faster!

Wild Nations: I want to believe! With this perk your average daily life will be occasionally flipped on its head with all kinds of situations you wouldn't think of in your wildest dreams! Don't worry, you're not responsible for the others who get caught up in it.

Naru couldn't help but childishly pump her fist when the words 'not responsible' were read, not bothered by the fact that Anko is still reading along over her shoulder, pupilles eyes narrowed at a certain word.

'Transmigation huh? Maybe I should ask Ibiki or Inoichi about it when I see them next time.'

And while Anko was contemplating the possible insanity of the quirky girl before her, said girl was now reading up on those 'perks'.

Perks are extra skills and options that will make you more badass when applied. While you already get a few perks due to who you are and what you are good at, more perks can be unlocked through certain situations or even through completely random events. Although there are a few like the Wild Nations perk that are completely optional and may or may not influence your experience either way.

Naru had to think hard for a while not really getting it, at least until her brain made a more simple equation out of it.

More perks = More awesomeness

Yes, Naru could definitely live with that, she thought as she nodded her head sagely. Now that she has most explanations over with, it's time to start training to become a kickass ninja. Anko, seeing determined flames appearing in the little squirt's head, decided to have a bit of fun.

"So squirt, now that you have your chakra unlocked what are you going to do?" the older female asks.

"I'm gonna train of course, you crazy stalker!" the little girl bluntly states, not noticing the twitch in Anko's eyes as she contemplates whether the Kaa-chan voice will keep helping her with her training. She doesn't really like that Naru is training to be a ninja after all. 'Of course I'll help Naru-chan. I'll make you strong enough so that you can always get back home safely.' Naru simply let a smile slip on her face. If Kaa-chan is there to guide her, everything will be fine.

"So how are you going to train you shitty brat?" Anko asks with a deceptively sweet voice and an equally sweet smile. At this Naru paused. Out of touch with the world she may slightly be, but even she knows that by answering ' The Kaa-chan in my head will help me' they'll lock her up and take Kaa-chan away from her! So, she'll settle on the second best thing.

"100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups and 100 squats along with running 10 km every single day!" she says with a proud look on her face, chest and arms both puffed and poised in a heroic pose, sparkles surrounding her upper body. Now there are a lot of people who can quite impressively keep a straight face in most of the situations. One can even say it's needed when working in the T&I department. That said, seeing an 8 year old say the most moronic things while sparkling on proudly is probably a breaking point most won't even encounter in their mundane lives. Anko though, found out that a situation such as this is one of her breaking points, as shown by her manic rolling on the ground while laughing.

"Shut up ya shitty stalker hag! If it works for Saitama then it'll work for me as well!"

Obviously that just kept the stalker ha- I mean the lovely Mitarashi Anko, Sexy Queen of all dango, going with even harder laughter. After the Tokubetsu Jonin calmed herself down, she looked at the now sulking girl. Taking a bit of pity on the little squirt, Anko decided to do her possible nice-ish deed of the week. "You know brat, if you want I can help you out with your training when I'm not too busy. We can even start right now." She tags on the second part when the little blonde obviously looks interested at her. Said little blonde looks at the older purplenette with stars in her eyes, for all intent looking like a happy red eyed puppy. It almost makes her think she should feel guilty at the next part.

"What are we gonna do for training Anego?!" Naru asks Anko excitedly. Finally she'll get to train as a ninja, just like Mito and Hiruzen! Lost in her daydreams about kicking both of their asses and being hailed as the most awesome ninja ever seen in Konoha (she doesn't want to be Hokage anymore after seeing Daddy getting stuck in an avalanche of paperwork) our little ninja in training didn't notice the hand signs Anko made after bloodying her thumb. The cloud smoke erupting from the woman's technique soon blew away by a sudden gale that disappeared when the smoke was gone as well. Beside Anko stood now a huge snake, at least 20 feet long and 3 feet wide.

"Now seeing as how awesome I am at teaching, I found a way to incorporate two important aspects of Ninja training together, namely dodging and physical training. So we're gonna play Dodge the Snake!" The woman said gleefully, as the snake lunged at the girl. Not as fast as he possibly could of course, the little hatchling still needs to grow before they can actually start playing for real! Though Naru didn't know that and started running as fast as she could, barely dodging most of the lunges and strikes. That day, Konohagakure heard for the first time on of the two shouts that would soon become commonplace to hear.


-Fancy interval wanted for this position, will pay in virtual chocolate chip cookies-

A gruesome 38 minutes and 23 seconds later, as timed by one of the nifty blue boxes, a very tired Naru lays down on the ground, panting as the adrenalin of being chased by a giant snake is wearing off. The woman that brought forth said snake was mildly impressed at how long one of her favorite summons was outrun by a brat without training, even if he held back a lot. The summon, Mugu, looked at the tiny hatchling that had some potential and decided that it could use some water. Grabbing one of it's soft, squishy legs with his tail, Mutsu brought said now squirming little one to a nearby river, shooting reprimanding looks each time it squirmed too hard in his opinion. At seeing the fresh water source, the little hatchling looked sheepishly at the large body of water and back at Mutsu.

"Oh, thanks for bringing me here. How did you know I could use a drink?" Mugu couldn't help but raise the scales that passed as an eyebrow. A human hatchling with actual manners? The snake summons don't meet one of those a lot. Mostly because almost every hatchling either screams or begs for their life the moment they meet someone of the Hebi summoning clan. Oh woe be to those who are scarily strong!

"You are welcome little hatchling. With the amount of fluids that you seem to be losing from your tiny body I thought it prudent that you should replace those quickly if you want to function properly." Mutsu hissed at the young and now slippery hatchling. Naru looked at the huge snake in awe.

"That's so cool! You can speak, uhm… come to think of it, what DO we call the language we all speak?" the little blonde pondered before shrugging and dunking her head into the river, eagerly gulping in the water while enjoying the cold anchoring into her face. Pulling back up and shaking her shoulder length blonde hair dry like a dog, she notices Mugu and Anko looking at her with matching predatory gleams in their eyes.

"Congratulations squirt, we've decided that we're going to take you under our wing and train you!" The crazy woman from hell says cheerily. Naru wants to say something mean or tell them to buzz off, but both actually took time to help her out in their own way. But should she accept? While pondering the answer to that, her attention got pulled towards a blinking green square in the upper right corner of her vision. Mentally wondering what it is, it springs open with an accompanying yellow box.

This is the Notices page, where all kinds of important information will be collected for you in messages. To open it, just either say the name of the page out loud or think about making it appear.

Nodding in understanding, Naru makes the little yellow box disappear and decides to check her messages first, still thinking about what she should pick. Seeing the conflicted and almost wary look on the girl's face, Anko's own look softens up and she decides to sit next to the girl, throwing an arm around her tiny companion's shoulder.

" You don't have to decide right now squirt but you gotta admit we did have some fun, didn't we?" she asks with a smirk. Having little Naru run towards her and use her as a shield for Mugu, may have been obvious for the Tokubetsu Jonin, but most gloating idiots wouldn't realize the redirecting maneuver until it's too late. That and she noticed Naru smiling every time she pulled of something acrobatic. To the older girl's surprise, little Naru just nods and visibly relaxes, taking obvious comfort in the arm around her. Seeing that she won't get anything more out of her possible little padawan, Anko just decides to look at the messages. Taking the silent cue for what it is, Naru opens the first of four messages.

Challenge completed : Dodge the Snake (Easy difficulty) Silver Rank

Bronze: dodge a snake summon for 15 minutes (achieved)

Silver: dodge a snake summon for 30 minutes (achieved)

Gold: dodge a snake summon for 60 minutes

Rewards :

Bronze Rank achieved : 300 exp, 10.000 ryo

Silver Rank achieved : 500 exp, 20.000 ryo

(Money and items will directly be added to your inventory)

Looking happily at the exp and gained money, little Naru decides to check her inventory later when she's by herself and through all of the other messages. Closing it and opening the second one, both girls start grinning for different reasons.

The following stats have increased during your exercise:

Endurance: + 6 (= 13)

Agility: + 7 (=15)

Intelligence: +2 (= 9)

Now why are both girls grinning you ask. Well Naru is happy because she actually improved from being hunted like prey by a big ass snake and Anko knows that she now has the perfect way to motivate her student. Not aware of the other's thoughts, the third message pops open after the second one is dismissed as well.

Level up, you have reached level 3/15

EXP: 325/350

Available stat points: 2

Looking strangely at her current level, Naru pushes the question mark again for what feels the 20th time that day and waits patiently for the new box to arrive.

Levels are currently capped by your chosen class. Level caps can be raised by getting a higher rank in said chosen class/profession or other situations and allow to grow even further. In this case the level caps for the Ninja class are:

Academy student: 0-15

Genin: 15- 40

Chuunin: 40-80

Tokubetsu Jonin: 80-140

Jonin: 80- Into infinity and beyond!

"…so I can't level stupidly hard and curbstomp the others?" Naru asked in a resigned tone, leaving Anko to wonder just where the hell an eight year old girl would learn words like that. Deciding it be better for her remaining sanity not to find out, the woman just pats the little one on her back.

"There there, you'll still be able to wreck the little twerps if you train hard enough to raise your stats." Anko says awkwardly, not sure if it'll work. Though she must be doing something right if the sulking red eyed girl looks up.

"And you'll help me?" she asks in a soft tone, as if afraid of the answer. Anko just nods with a not-quite-manic-as-usual smile, causing Naru to grin excitedly and burying herself deeper into the older girl's awesome trench coat. With both now happy about their arrangements, Naru opens the last message for the both of them to read.

Mitarashi Anko offers you an apprenticeship.

Do you accept?


That brings the attention of both females back to the question Anko asked her before. And while Naru does want to accept and keep training with her newly christened 'Anego', the little blonde can't help but feel as if she would abandon her Kaa-chan. She was the first person Naru asked to be trained by after all. 'You should accept it Naru-chan, I can't really help you with training your body. Besides, you may learn all kinds of different things from Anko-san that I don't know hmm~?' Nodding to both herself and the motherly voice, Naru takes a deep breath and pushes 'Yes'. Though she did not expect to be pulled into a hug by her excitable new Sensei. Giggling and returning the hug, Naru decides that she kind of likes the hugs Anego gives her, pretty hard and a tad painful but yet they carry a hint of caring. But the moment is broken when hopefully the last message of the day pops up.


You have become the apprentice of {Mitarashi Anko}.

Level cap increased by 6 levels

One of two apprentice positions filled.

The two women stare blankly at the message until Anko breaks the silence. "So, wanna go and get some food?"

-Fancy interval wanted for this position, will pay in virtual chocolate chip cookies-

As Anko let her new little duckling towards her favorite dango restaurant, she can't help but feel a slight pang of guilt shoot through her elation. Sure, the woman may be teaching the little blonde how to be a good ninja (and with how shitty the academy can be, little Naru will need it), but the idea from less than noble thoughts. It's not a big secret what happened to Anko thanks to her traitorous Sensei and to this day there are still a few people who treat her as if she's Orochimaru right hand woman that happily helps him with whatever psychotic experiment the immortal craving snake bastard came up with. Hell, the best she can expect from most people is indifference born from disdain. So, when she finds a little girl glaring at a weird screen made of light and not knowing who she was, the woman couldn't help but pound on the chance of finally getting some decent company if she was lucky.

The idea may have been brought forth from loneliness and the need of having friends who won't associate her with Orochimaru and what he did to her, but in the end both profit from it. Little Naru will have a teacher that'll turn her into a bona fide badass. And as for Anko… well, maybe now her loneliness will be chased away even if only for a little while.