Dr Linda Martin was busy with the tedious work of filing her latest patient's sessions when the air around her took a different feel. She looked up from her desk. "Lucifer, did we have an appointment?" she said curtly. She reached out to her diary, her eyes set on Lucifer above her reading glasses.
"No, not that I recall," he said amicably while he flopped down on the couch. "But you'll have to ask Maze about that, she usually manages my time with you."
"I'll venture you're still not on speaking terms with Maze?"
"There is room for improvement," he stated, picking at a piece of thread conveniently sticking out the couch. He stopped immediately, revolted by the thought of lost souls seeking Dr Martin's help on the very same couch. To be compared with any of them, the horror! Irritated by the mere prospect of turning more human by the day, he stood up abruptly.
"But you're getting there?" she insisted. Mazikeen had been a constant in Lucifer's life. She wouldn't let his infatuation for detective Decker jeopardize this essential connection. She settled on a chair, facing the couch, and crossed her hands on her lap. Very professional, she thought to herself.
"Whenever it happens." He sighed and sat down again. He leaned forward, and relaxed, elbows resting on his thighs, fingers laced together. "Listen, I'm not here to discuss my current situation with Mazikeen. At the risk of sounding a bit cliché, things will probably get worse before they get better."
"Why are you here Lucifer?"
"I am faced with an unexpected family problem."
"I was not aware you had any close family near by, except for your brother, of course," she added with a huff.
He reached out to the magazines displayed on the coffee table, took one and leafed it through it absently until his eyes twinkled. "Ah! Los Angeles, the new sin city," he read. "Clearly my opening Lux spawned a new way of living in your fair city."
"I'm sorry?" she managed. Was his business in danger on account of some family feud she wasn't privy to?
"You can't deny Lux has become a HUB for all forms of entertainment, and a top destination for people who look to evade the burden of reality."
"I suppose... Your family wants to take Lux from you?"
"Err… no, why would they? My dear brother doesn't have the chops and my mother… Oh my! Dr Linda, you may be on to something. It's quite possible she would claim the club for herself," he pondered.
"Your mother? Your mother is in Los Angeles? That is great news!"
"I beg to differ. And yes, my mother literally popped up in town, quite unexpectedly, I must add." He frowned at the rest of the article, discarded the magazine and practically leapt to the window, peering outside through the slats of the venetian blind. "Fortunately, she is alone. I could not bear taking care of her minions as well," he stated.
She sat back. Was Lucifer's mother the cheating type? Was she divorced? Was he disturbed by her having a healthy sex life? "I reckon you two are in good terms?" she tried.
"To be honest, we haven't been in any terms for centuries. Now that she's back, let me see… Let's say anything can happen. I think my mum's going to kill me."
Dr Martin took a deep breath. Fascinating.
Lucifer raised a hand, "and before you say anything, it is not a metaphor. My mum is literally going to kill me, she's not the forgiving type."
Dr Martin blinked. She'd never have pictured Lucifer struggling with an unresolved Oedipus complex. "How do you know she's in town? Did your brother meet with her?"
"Amenadiel? No, no, of course not! I must assure you he's as stressed as I am. She is known to be unpredictable."
"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree…" she mused. But Lucifer was silent, standing still before the window. "To get back to my question, how do you know that your mother is in Los Angeles?"
"I've been to Hell and back of course. Courtesy of detective Decker's former colleague."
Dr Martin tried to think of something to say but came up with nothing.
"And now because of this ridiculous feud ignited by my brother, mommy dearest is loose in town," Lucifer ranted on. "You of all people must understand I feel responsible for her actions."
"Really? Shouldn't it be the other way round?"
"I was tasked to be his eternal keeper," Lucifer glowered, "and as such entitled with the safety of humanity. I failed when I let Amenadiel ruled in my place. Horses for courses you know. Father was not happy."
"Oh my god, both your parents are in town?"
"Are you alright doctor? Let me rephrase. Mummy is in town. Father," he looked up, pointing a finger to the ceiling, "sent me a dove." His finger pointed at Linda. "Not a metaphor either. A real dove."
She wriggled on her chair. Her notebook slipped at her feet.
"Let me," he offered, falling on his knee to retrieve the wandering notebook. "Are you sure you're okay? You do look a little pale," he said with a wave of the hand before going back on his feet. "Anyway, I am to take care of my mother."
"And you think she's going to kill you."
"Exactly!" he rejoiced.
"And your brother?" she asked, doodling frantically on her notebook to avoid looking at him.
"I cannot see why not. I imagine we will have to wait and see. And now…" His hand flew to the top button of his shirt.
She was up before he could finish his sentence. "I told you Lucifer, we need to exchange currency not fluids." She pushed her glasses back in place, and her voice quavered while she struggled not to jump him.
"Are you quite sure? You seem in great need of a shag, doctor."
"Quite," she managed, flinching in her resolve.
"As you wish. Probably, it is adieu then, doctor. Quite ironic, don't you think?"
I watched the trailers ahead of monday's new season and came up with that vignette. bear with me