~ * And Be Sure to Tip Your Waiter (For He's on His Last Dime) ~ *

Amphitrite was not a fool, no matter what her sisters or anybody else might think. Marrying Poseidon was at once the best and worst decision of her long immortal life. It was the source of a near constant grief, and no small amount of anger and heartbreak, but the goddess could never find it in her heart to regret her marriage. She loved her husband, for better or for worse, even if it seemed to overwhelmingly consist of the later.

Sally Jackson was not the first woman her husband had left their marriage bed for, not by any stretch of the imagination; Amphitrite couldn't even find it within herself to be surprised. She knew it would happen, sooner or later, great oath or no great oath. It was in Poseidon's nature, as it was his brothers' as well. To change it would be to change the sea—and the sea did not like to be restrained, so Poseidon loved to say. He wouldn't be the god she loved were he to change, and as much as each betrayal hurt, as deep as the wound in her heart may go, she wouldn't trade him for the world.

That didn't mean she had to like his lovers or his deceitful ways, nor was she obligated to sit back and allow him to do whatever he so pleased behind her back.

No, Amphitrite was no fool and she would not be played for one. Not even by the lord of the sea himself.

She wasn't surprised when Poseidon started disappearing late at night without a word. He never announced where he was going, only disappeared for a couple mortal hours to reappear with a pleased and content smile on his face.

Amphitrite was not pleased.

She could look the other way once, twice even, but when it became a habit she took issue. Poseidon could sleep around all he liked as long as his heart belonged to her, and Amphitrite would vaporize anyone who dared threaten that. His disappearances, not like clockwork but frequent enough to cause concern, greatly displeased her.

So when her husband disappeared one night, Amphitrite waited...and then followed. He was hard to find at first. Poseidon hadn't existed so long without being able to avoid detection. But Amphitrite knew his tricks, some of which she taught him herself, and she soon found him.

She raised an eyebrow when she found herself outside a dirty, dingy restaurant on the edge of Manhattan.

"Table for one ma'am?" The hostess asked when she gingerly stepped inside.

The hostess waited with the pleasant but forced smile all service employees wore while Amphitrite stared about the place. It was horrifying, to put it mildly. The restaurant was just as grungy on the inside, tacky posters and decoration spewed across the place in a half-hazardous way, as though placed by children. The low lights that flickered above her head cast a sickly yellow haze that lazily drifted through the air, heavy and thick. The stench of food was enough to make her consider leaving Poseidon to whatever torture he designed for himself and wipe her hands of the entire affair.

But her husband's content smile flashed in her mind and Amphitrite found herself smiling wanly at the young hostess and confirming that yes, her party consisted only of one. Walking passed a gaudy picture of a bygone actor, his image surrounded by cheap replica seashells, paint faded and chipped, the hostess brought her into the dining area. Amphitrite's eyes swept across the crowd and under her gentle urging the mortal sat her in a far corner, tucked away in the dark. She kept a tight hold on her form, letting not even an ounce of her power leak into the air and worn the sea lord of her presence.

His control was almost as good as hers, but a wife knows how to find a guilty husband. Near the swinging kitchen doors, Amphitrite found her quarry. Poseidon sat alone in a faded red booth, a menu spread before him that his beautiful sea green eyes uninterestedly gazed over. Amphitrite frowned at his solitary figure, perplexed.

"Good evening, my name is Shawntae and I'll be taking care of you tonight. What can I start you off with?"

The falsely bright voice was close enough that Amphitrite looked up, thinking for a moment the mortal spoke to her. Instead, the beautiful dark girl was forcing a smile at the pair of men sitting at the table behind hers.

"Sweetheart, you can take care of me any night," one of the men whistled, nudging his friend who gave a disgusting, throaty laugh.

Amphitrite and the young mortal girl both stiffened. Men, Amphitrite thought in disgust. It was moments like this when she thought that maybe Artemis was onto something.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" Shawntae asked, her smile vanishing.

The men gawked and snickered but managed to order drinks after a few more lewd lines. Amphitrite gripped her menu hard enough to bend it, watching the pigs snicker at each other as the unfortunate mortal girl disappeared. Her eyes flickered over to Poseidon, who still sat alone. If the girl didn't go to her manager and they tried harassing her again, she would do something about it Amphitrite decided. And if it caused Poseidon to notice her, well then, her darling husband would simply have to talk his way out of this. Perhaps his mistress would face her direct wrath then.

Satisfied with her decision, Amphitrite leaned back in her seat.

"Hello ma'am what can I get you to drink?" A waitress approached Amphitrite, her distracted gaze focused on the men behind the goddess as she frowned. Perhaps this girl would do something about them and Amphitrite wouldn't have to worry about making a scene.

"Water," the goddess said succinctly and the girl nodded absently, her eyes flickering to the kitchen.

Whatever she saw caused her shoulders to fall, her entire being visibly relaxing.

"Of course," the girl said, grinning broadly as she twisted away.

As Amphitrite turned her gaze back to her husband, she found a fresh glass of water had been placed before him and a basket of some sort. Poseidon himself was smiling, a small pleased thing. The queen's temper boiled beneath her skin. A waitress! He had to be seducing a waitress.

Even as the revelation occurred to her, part of Amphitrite rejected it. The gods would go to great lengths to seduce an unfortunate bedmate (she of all people knew that) but Poseidon was hardly the type to degrade himself to such low means for a partner. He was a more extravagate wooer, full of grandiose gestures. Fear gnawed in Amphitrite's stomach, a sick little spot of pain that began to worm its way into her heart. But no, sure if he were falling in love love, she would have noticed before. She would be able to stop it. Poseidon loved her, his queen, more.

Amphitrite was so focused on the sea god, her inner turmoil threatening to betray her presences, that the sound of the men behind her seemed startling loud;

"The hell? No, the little hottie was our waitress."

"Shawntae is unavailable sorry, but I have it on good authority that I'm quite the hottie myself."

The pigs blistered in outrage and Amphitrite's lips curled in amusement as she half turned to glance at the new waiter. At the all too familiar flash of green that greeted her, she froze, surprise and horror filling her before she realized the being standing before the lecherous men couldn't be Poseidon. No, instead she found her wide eyes taking in the sight of Perseus Jackson, the product of the very infidelity she feared. The demigod's lips were pulled up in the guise of a smile but his teeth were bared and the expression was far from friendly.

"You, you," one of the mortals was blustering, "that's sick, you're not—"

"Not your type? Yeah, I've heard that before. Still not entirely sure I buy it but," Perseus cocked his head, his predatory smile sharpening, "from you I believe it. You prefer someone smaller and weaker than you, don't you? Someone you think can intimate and frighten."

Perseus' eyes narrowed, the corner of his mouth twitching as he physically restrained himself. He twirled a pen in his hand, his thumb worrying away on the cap. Amphitrite didn't hear the mortals' reply, her world focusing on the son of Poseidon. The tag on Perseus' breast bearing his nickname, a hazardously scrawled, near illegible Percy, and the uniform it was pinned upon betrayed his place; he was a waiter.

Perseus was a waiter.

Poseidon was sitting alone in the corner, seemingly there to interact with a member of the waiting staff.

Perseus was a member of the waiting staff.

Poseidon was happier, contented, sneaking off to see somebody in the mortal world. Amphitrite hadn't realized Poseidon was falling in love not because he had and she missed it, but because he wasn't falling in love at all. He was visiting the offspring of his last affair. Poseidon was dangerously attached to the demigod.

Amphitrite took a deep breath through her mouth before opening her eyes. Perseus was gone and the men behind her were grumbling to themselves, cursing and swearing they were going to complain to the manager. Her eyes fell on her husband and, sure enough, his unnatural offspring stood before him. Poseidon smiled at the demigod, his expression calm and content. Perseus said something and the god of the sea laughed. He was still laughing as the demigod pulled away, disappearing into the kitchen.

How long had it been since she saw Poseidon laugh? Amphitrite couldn't remember. Before the Second Titan War. Probably even longer.

Suddenly, Poseidon's eyes snapped up, his mirth evaporating. The room grew colder, Amphitrite could feel the ocean stirring as Poseidon's guard rose and her husband's eyes met her own.


It was too late, he knew she was there. Poseidon's face was a mask, Amphitrite affectionately liked to call it his solstice face as it usually only appeared when he left their undersea palace for Olympus. The sound of the world faded as their eyes held. Even though his face was expressionless, Poseidon's eyes never were. Storms raged in those great green pools, focused and…frightened.

Knowing she was caught, Amphitrite decided to face the problem directly. She folded the faded menu delicately in her hands, laying it next to her water. She stood, slowly and purposefully, before walking across the restaurant. Even though she was on land, she could feel the infuriated roll of the ocean inside her very being but she held her head high and steadily met Poseidon's eyes.

She gracefully pulled out the chair across from her husband and elegantly situated herself at the table. She folded her hands before her and gave Poseidon a thin, unamused smile.

"You followed me." Poseidon's voice was flat and disapproving, fury lingering in the aftermath of his words.

Amphitrite raised an eyebrow, her smile turning bitter. "It wasn't hard. You've grown careless my lord."

Somewhere in the east, a hurricane was brewing but Amphitrite continued to smile serenely at her husband. Perseus' voice came from the kitchen and as one the immortals turned, catching sight of the demigod near the entrance. The mortals would be baffled by the level three hurricane that just became a five. Amphitrite couldn't care less.

"You will not touch him Amphitrite," Poseidon declared, his low tenor rumbling and dangerous.

"You overstep yourself, my lord," Amphitrite replied. "After all these years you of all people should know my temper is unlike that of Hera's."

Amphitrite's jealousy was as unlike her sister-in-law's as the sea was from the sky. Children were blameless of their father's sins; she never harmed a child of Poseidon's for being born out of his marriage bed. She had killed some for their arrogance and insolence, but not out of retribution for their very existence. That didn't mean she liked them nor would she tolerate Poseidon's obsession with this one.

"Tell me, my husband, does Zeus know of your escapades?" Amphitrite idly wondered if California could afford the earthquake that rattled their land as Poseidon's temper flared. She smiled fully, her own cold fury burning in her eyes.

"Oh, are you switching tables?" It was Amphitrite's waitress from earlier that spoke, standing at the edge of their table, blissfully unaware of the dangerous standoff she was interrupting.

"Yes my dear," Amphitrite said with false sweetness, turning slightly to nod at the girl.

The waitress smiled in return, eyeing Poseidon with mild distrust as if picking up on Amphitrite's ire. Amphitrite's smile turn genuine as she fondly surveyed the mortal girl. The waitress met her eyes and they shared a sort of kindred bond in that moment, the kind only women of any form of existence could have.

"Okay," the waitress said, giving Poseidon one more suspicious look before leaving.

"You will not take him from me," Poseidon warned in the wake of her absence. Despite his strong conviction, there was fear beneath the god's words. She could try, he knew, and there was the possibly she would succeed if she brought his brothers into it. Amphitrite lifted her chin haughtily, challengingly meeting his gaze.

Poseidon's very being glowed, power and fury rolling from his mortal form.


Perseus had returned. There was a glass of water balanced in one of his hands and the demigod stood frozen half a length from their table, his mouth slightly open in surprise as he blinked at Amphitrite. She let her eyes rake over his surprised form. Poseidon's hand was gripping the table in his anger and she very purposely reached out and took it, watching the demigod all the while.

Poseidon didn't tolerate the show of possession. He tore his hand away.

"A minute, Percy," he said, eyes flashing.

"Ah, right," Perseus said, still blinking at Amphitrite.

Then he stepped right up and put the glass before Poseidon, deliberately invading their space. Amphitrite was too shunned by his impertinence to do more than stare at him as he moved away.

"Do not," Poseidon warned and the ocean raged with his temper.

"Be careful of your temper my lord," Amphitrite snarled, turning to face her husband. "You would not want Zeus to find you. He will be suspicious enough, you have cause two hurricanes and an earthquake already within the hour."

"Be careful of your jealousy my wife," Poseidon bitingly returned, eyes flashing.

Half glowing, Poseidon's head suddenly turned. To Amphitrite's great surprise, his anger seemed to recede and she turned as well, watching the demigod. He was bent over so a short waitress could whisper into his ear, nodding. Poseidon had a contemplative expression on his face that soon gave way to a sly look as he smiled at his wife. Amphitrite was suspicious at once, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Would you indulge me, my dearest wife, and at least let me get my food?" He asked, his anger replaced with something almost akin to amusement as he took a sip of his water.

"What are you playing at?" She demanded, whipping around to suspiciously eye the twice child of prophecy.

"Did you notice how he took the table of the men behind where you once sat?" Poseidon asked calmly, setting his water down.

"I did." Amphitrite agreed. "What of it?"

"What do you think of it?"

In truth, she had not thought on it. "I see not why—"

"And there he is now, taking another girl's table because she asked," Poseidon remarked and, despite herself, Amphitrite turned. The short waitress was smiling at Perseus in relief, pointing out a table as the demigod nodded.

"I do not understand, what is the point of this?" Amphitrite asked, still frowning as the demigod.

"They make the girls feel uncomfortable so he takes their tables," Poseidon explained, deliberately misinterpreting her question. Amphitrite scowled, perplexed despite herself.

"I see not why it matters," she began haughtily, when her head whipped around, narrowing in on her waitress as the girl made a distressed sound.

The horrid men from before had grabbed her by the arm and the girl tried to pull away, her voice low and furious. She managed to tear her arm away but the guy reached for her again, reaching lower. Amphitrite was half out of her seat, fury and a surge of protectiveness raging in her breast. She hadn't even risen to her full height when the man's arm was suddenly wrenched back and Perseus was slamming the pig's head into the table.

The mortal was yelling, thrashing about but Perseus held him down firmly, his expression an exact mirror of Poseidon's furious one moments ago. He glanced up at the girl, who was shaking her head and crossing her arms. Another girl, Amphitrite recognized her as Shawntae, stepped forward and wrapped her arms around the angry girl, shouting at the last man at the table.

Poseidon seemed wholly unconcerned with the ordeal, taking a sip of his water as the manager came rushing forward and another patron stepped in to stop the second lecherous man from standing. Perseus ignored the manager, dragging the man who grabbed the waitress up by his collar and bodily dragging him towards the door.

"Dammit Jackson," the manager was shouting, following them out.

Amphitrite slowly sat back down as the men disappeared out the entrance of the restaurant, the second lecherous man stumbling after them. Poseidon took another sip of water, his face serene.

"She's alright, your waitress," he said calmly.

"Yes," Amphitrite agreed, watching as the girl shook her head in disgust and pulled Shawntae along with her towards the front door. "You knew that was going to happen."

"No, but I thought it might. Percy can take care of himself," Poseidon said, flicking through his menu without a care in the world as shouting came from the front door. He briefly looked up, clicking his tongue. A smirk played the edge of his lips. "You've come on a good night, my dearest wife, I'm sure you'll enjoy the show."

"Cease speaking with your gilded tongue," Amphitrite said in irritation but she had turned towards the door like a moth to the flame. Perseus was standing in the doorway, arms crossed as the manager yelled at him.

"Dammit Jackson, we've talked about this, you can't manhandle the customers no matter how—"

"He grabbed Maria," Perseus angrily snapped back, his eyes flashing.

"There are calmer ways to handle these things—"

"After Shawntae said they were making uncomfortable remarks and you never even walked over—"

"You didn't have to make a scene. For god's sake, Jackson you slammed the man's head against the table and dragged him out of the restaurant! I have no choice but to fire you for this—"

"If you fire Percy, I quit," Maria, Amphitrite's waitress, said angrily.

"Me too," Shawntae furiously backed her up, crossing her arms and glaring at the manager. "Hey Lils, they want to fire Perce!"

A waitress exiting the kitchen froze. "If they fire Percy again I quit too! I refuse to work here without him!"

"Firing Percy for kicking out a perv? I'm done too," a waiter said, putting his armful of dishes down at the nearest table and taking his apron off. "Hey guys, they're firing Percy again." He called into the kitchen, and more angry voices came from there.

"Again?" Amphitrite said.

"You think the manager would learn his lesson by now," Poseidon mused. "The entire waiting staff threatened to quit last time." He peered over at the kitchen. "I do believe this is a repeat performance."

"Okay, okay just calm down," the manager was saying, the perspiration on his neck visible from their table.

Amphitrite reached out and took Poseidon's glass, taking a sip of the slightly metallic water. "He is more concerned about discretion than the harassment of his employees."

"Usually," Poseidon agreed. "I do believe there is nothing more he regrets then hiring Percy."

Poseidon looked quite proud of the fact. Amphitrite took another sip of water. The manager pulled Perseus into his office and a furious Maria and Shawntae insisted on following. They emerged not even five minutes later, a girl on either side of Perseus. Their heads were held high, each having an arm linked through Perseus'. They glared over their shoulder at the manager, who was rubbing his temple.

Serves him right, Amphitrite thought darkly but she was eyeing the son of Poseidon as the girls kissed his cheeks. His face flushed and the girls playfully cooed and giggled before disappearing back into the kitchen. Perseus shook his head, his cheeks still red before his brow furrowed and he turned, undoubtedly feeling her gaze. His eyes flickered between her and Poseidon. Amphitrite raised a hand and beckoned him over.

Poseidon continued to flick through his menu, not looking particularly concerned. "Do not upset my son Amphitrite," he warned idly as Perseus walked over. "Even the threat of my brothers' ire shall not still my own."

Perseus' eyes were wary as he crept over.

"Sit," Amphitrite instructed, motioning.

Perseus blinked at her, eyes flicking to Poseidon, who gave a slight nod. The demigod grabbed a chair from the empty table behind him and pulled it up, sitting awkwardly on the edge of it.

"Do you know who I am?" Amphitrite demanded.

"Yeah," Perseus said, brow furrowed. At her impatient look, he realized she was waiting for a name and hastily added, "Amphitrite."

My lady Amphitrite she wanted to correct immediately; Poseidon had grown very soft indeed to allow a mortal to get away with addressing him so casually. Of course, she thought sourly, even Zeus tolerated Perseus' impertinence to a degree. She let it go for now.

"Why did you take Shawntae's table?"

Perseus looked confused, sitting back a little and studying her face as if she were the sphinx giving out riddles, "Because she asked me too?"

"In return for what?" Amphitrite pressed.

"My table?" Perseus said slowly, obviously lost. His eyes flickered to Poseidon who was chuckling under his breath.

"Even after all you've done she has trouble believing in your selfless, protective nature," Poseidon said reassuringly, reaching out to clap Perseus on the shoulder. Perseus looked even more confused.

"I just switched tables."

"You switched a tipping table for someone you threw out before they paid," Poseidon said with a smile.

"Quiet Poseidon," Amphitrite said, kicking her husband beneath the table. With a twinkle in his eye, Poseidon sat back, reaching for his glass of water.

Perseus looked even more confused. His dark eyebrows drew together, his forehead wrinkling and nose scrunching up. Sea green eyes flickered between the gods, the bewildered emotion swirling around in their beautiful depths one she had never seen in his father's eyes. The expression was… almost adorable. In a tragic, lost baby animal sort of way.

"You're protecting them," she said, eyes trailing over to the small gathering of waitresses, who were whispering among themselves and shooting the manager dirty looks. "Simply to protect them."

"Yes?" Perseus said slowly, "why else would I?"

Amphitrite stared at him and the son of Poseidon blinked back.

"He's serious," she said incredulously to Poseidon.

"Completely," Poseidon agreed serenely, smirking.

"To take advantage of them, Perseus," she pressed, not quite buying it.

"How is taking a non-tipping table taking advantage of them?" Perseus asked, perplexed, and Amphitrite stared.

"Are you entirely certain he's your son?" She asked Poseidon in disbelief. Both Perseus and Poseidon looked offended by this, although the former's was tainted by confusion and the later's by irritation.

"I am glad the waitress girl is unhurt," she said before either of them could express their displeasure. "When she comes forth next I shall give her my blessing so this does not happen again."

"No," Poseidon said, frowning immediately.

"Really?" Perseus asked at the same time, his face lighting up, "you can do that? So she'll always be protected?"

"No," Poseidon repeated firmly, frowning at Percy now.

"Yes," Amphitrite said, ignoring her husband. "We bestow fewer blessings on mortals nowadays, but I shall make an exception. She will always be under my protection."

"It would draw attention to the restaurant," Poseidon said, clenching his jaw and glaring at Amphitrite.

"Oh," Perseus stared at Poseidon, his face falling. Amphitrite didn't know if it was the new angle this view provided or her renewed scrutiny, but the lines on his face seemed more pronoun, the shadows under his eyes particularly dark. His shoulders slumped and he gave a sigh. "But Maria could safely walk home at night?"

Amphitrite stared at him. He wasn't arguing with her, getting angry like Poseidon would (was). This child was willing to risk losing time with his father, the all-powerful god of the sea, just in exchange for some mortal girl's safety.

"Yes," Amphitrite repeated.

Neither male paid her much mind. Percy offered his father a weak smile, the corners of his mouth twitching the slightly bit but doing nothing to dispel the misery that set across it. Poseidon's hand twitched as if restraining himself from reaching out and comforting his son.

"I could always bless her after she leaves the restaurant," Amphitrite found herself saying.

Perseus' head snapped around, his eyes lighting up, "Really?"

Like a baby dolphin, Amphitrite thought exasperatedly, trying to harden her resolve against this strangely innocent imitation of her husband's face.

"Yes," she said anyway and Perseus smiled, his first real smile of the night. It was a lopsided thing, his imperfect mortal face unable to produce a properly proportional smile. She found herself smiling back despite herself.

"Jackson," a voice called and Amphitrite turned in agitation. It was the manager. Her temper flared dangerously at the sight. Poseidon reached out, grabbing Amphitrite's wrist, power warningly flowing from him to her, which was the only thing stopping Amphitrite from smiting the despicable man on the spot.

"Don't you have tables to wait on?" The manager said through a clearly fake smile as he nodded at Amphitrite and Poseidon.

"He does, but I asked him to sit with us for a moment," Amphitrite interrupted coldly. Poseidon's grip on her wrist tightened and she could feel Perseus' confused gaze. "You see, I was confused as to why you were threatening to fire my stepson. It appeared to me that he threw a disgusting, lecherous man out of your restaurant after you failed to do so."

The manager's face turned red under Amphitrite's bland smile.

"Well ma'am," he tried to bluster.

"See that it doesn't happen again," Amphitrite said coldly, letting some of her power seep into her words. "Return to work Perseus, we shall be here."

She paused, reaching out to grab Poseidon's glass of water. "And bring your father out a glass of water."

"Okay," Perseus said, pushing himself to his feet. "Ah, be right back then."

Throwing one more confused look at the table, he disappeared into the kitchen. The manager watched him leave, eyeing the gods warily. Amphitrite bared her teeth and all the color drained from his face. Without another word, he twisted around on his heels and hightailed it. Poseidon looked pleased, releasing her wrist and leaning back in his seat.

"Quiet," she warned, taking another drink of the commandeered water.

Poseidon's eyes twinkled. "What do you think dearest wife?"

"Does he know you're one of the lecherous men who won't leave women alone?" Amphitrite asked, avoiding the question as she raised her eyebrows at her husband.

Poseidon's face twisted ever so slightly. "I would never pursue a waitress so young."

"Not one of his waitress friends you mean," Amphitrite smirked, sipping her water. "Shall I tell him of some of your past exploits?"

"Amphitrite," he warned lowly but closed his mouth as there was a flutter of movement and Perseus was back.

Amphitrite smiled up at the boy, eyeing his tired form as he set a fresh glass of water down before her and a new one for his father. Perhaps he wasn't such a bad influence to have around. He seemed surprised at her soft face and a flicker of a smile made its way onto his own.

Poseidon immediately stole the attention, "Thank you, Percy."

"Percy," Amphitrite repeated the name slowly as Percy's eyes flickered over to his father and then back to her. "Hm. Doesn't quite hold the power and antiquity of Perseus."

"He is not the Perseus of old," Poseidon said, his voice frosty, "he is my son and far more powerful and successful that that bygone son of—"

"Percy," she repeated, ignoring Poseidon. "I like it."

"Thanks," Percy said hesitantly, brows pulled together. "I think."

"It was a compliment," Amphitrite agreed, chuckling slightly.

Percy's face softened a bit, the yellow lights of the restaurant making him look especially young.

"Well darling wife, you can see that I am not straying from my vows and that Percy holds no threat to you," Poseidon said stiffly once Percy had gone. He sat rigidly in his chair, fingers curled tightly around the glass Percy brought out. The water inside slouched of its own accord, the tightly controlled temper of the sea god faltering.

"You're upset because I'm stealing his attention," Amphitrite said, laughing at her husband's stormy expression. "What's the matter Poseidon, afraid I'm more interesting than you?"


"Or," she asked, her amusement growing, "are you afraid he'll end up liking me better?"

"Won't Triton be wondering where you ran off to?" Poseidon demanded, eyes flashing. The water inside his glass swirled, splashing over the edge. Poseidon's eyes twitched as he tried to compose himself. "And of course not, don't be quaint. I'm Percy's father."

"You are," Amphitrite laughed, "you always were the jealous type."

She settled back in her chair, making a show of getting comfortable as she dragged Poseidon's menu towards her. She peeked up at her husband, smiling coyly, "So my darling husband, what do you suggest from the menu?"

Percy only checked in on their table periodically, her presences obviously throwing him off but he loosened up as the night wore on. Conversely, Poseidon grew stiffer as the crowd thinned, his eyes darker as they disapprovingly surveyed his smiling wife. Percy often made little, aborted movements, as though thinking about coming over to their table but changing his mind at the last second and Poseidon would glower at Amphitrite.

"It grows late," Poseidon finally said through clenched teeth.

"You're right," Amphitrite agreed, "we should go. We certainly wouldn't want to attract any prying eyes."

Poseidon's eye twitched. Amphitrite watched Percy unsteady balance an armful of dishes a couple tables over before glancing back at her husband. Poseidon wasn't glaring at her for once but instead watched Percy struggle with a distant expression on his face.

"I shall wait by the door," Amphitrite declared, elegantly standing, "be there in five minutes."

Poseidon glared at her, obviously displeased by the ultimatum. Amphitrite ignored him. She watched Percy accidently drop a cup, eyes wide in panic as he tried to catch it in time. He barely managed to rescue the wayward glassware, halfheartedly scowling up at Maria as she laughed at him. Amphitrite reached into her pocket, running her fingers over the smooth sand dollar that appeared there. Slowly, she pulled it out and delicately sat it next to her water. Poseidon's face softened, his anger slowly evaporating from his handsome face. He inclined his head respectively at her, Amphitrite dipped hers in return.

"My lord," she respectively addressed before crossing over the restaurant to wait by the entrance.

She leaned against the wall, unabashedly watching Poseidon out of the corner of her eye. He wasted three of his five minutes simply sitting there, a solitary figure in the near empty restaurant, before Percy returned and the god of the sea rose. He, like his wife moments ago, reached into his pocket and pulled something out. He pressed it into the palm of Percy's hand, his low voice inaudible to the goddess. Percy's lips turned up. Poseidon reached out to gently lay his hand on Percy's head, his face open and tender as Percy leaned into the contact, the ghost of a smile on his face haunting and wistful. Amphitrite looked away.

"You really have grown reckless," she said when she felt Poseidon's presence approaching exactly at the end of his allotted five minutes.

Poseidon said nothing.

"I like him," Amphitrite decided as Poseidon held the door open for her.

"He has that effect," Poseidon said, managing to sound both proud and displeased at the same time.

"What is his work schedule like?" Amphitrite asked innocently as they stepped into the night.

Poseidon's eyes flashed.

"Why my lord certainly you wouldn't object to my benevolent interest in my stepson," Amphitrite goaded.

"Amphitrite," Poseidon warned, his temper growing once more.

"Careful my lord," she warned him fondly. "We wouldn't want to draw Zeus' attention would we?"

Amphitrite paused, a teasing quip dying on her lips as she tilted her head to the side, catching the softly whispered prayer in her honor:

Thank you, my lady Amphitrite.

Amphitrite huffed out a laugh, turning to stare almost fondly at the restaurant. "Nevermind my dear, I shall discover his schedule myself. Now you will excuse me, I have a blessing to bestow."

A/n Once upon a time I said I would eventually write an 'Amphitrite meets Percy' fic; this was not what I had in mind. It doesn't satisfy my need for Amphitrite-Percy bonding but this is what we've got right now. Marking the story as complete but there's a very real possibility a part three might one day appear. Sorry its less funny than part one but humor wasn't my goal here. Side note: I love writing the gods as they exploit their full power and authority, acting more like immortal beings than the human side we usually see. (And now Poseidon's jealous that his wife will steal his precious Percy-time, the poor guy just can't win.)

Let me know what you thought and I hope you enjoyed ~ *