NOTE: OK, so this is a crazy one-shot. I mean crazy.

The Set-Up? Season 9 and Mondler gets pregnant without any trouble but the baby comes quick, really quick. Inspired by a story true story I read this week, and written in about an hour. Crazy.

Oh, and I promise I haven't forgotten about "Hello," but when lightning strikes…eh, you know the drill ;)

"I think it's time," Monica said as her face suddenly turned red. She shot a look across the living room to her husband as she clutched her tight, swollen stomach.

"Yeah?" Chandler said, on his feet instantly, along with the rest of their friends, the panicked tone in her voice taking him by surprise.

"Yeah," she squeaked out. "Oh, Goooddd…"

"Mon?" Chandler rushed over and grabbed her hand, looking worriedly at her as she started to pant. "When…when did they get this bad?!"

"Just nooowww," she yelped, another pain shooting through her as she clutched Chandler's arm with all her might. What the hell was happening? Not 10 minutes ago she was just uncomfortable. They were all waiting around, waiting for what they thought might be contractions to get stronger before leaving for the hospital.

Phoebe and Rachel exchanged a knowing look as Joey took off downstairs to hail a cab.

"Monica?" Phoebe asked calmly. "Are they…slowing down, at all?"

Monica's eyes betrayed her panic as she looked at her friend. She shook her head and moaned again, this time leaning heavily on Chandler for support.

"We gotta get you to the hospital," he gasped. "Can you…make it down the stairs?"

The glare she gave him answered his question and he swallowed hard as Ross came over to help steady her. Rachel ran to the bathroom and grabbed every towel she could find, as Phoebe looked right in Monica's eyes.

"Do you feel like you have to push?" she asked as calmly as she could. Monica nodded as another contraction hit. Chandler's eyes were wide.

"Hospital?" he asked again.

Phoebe shook her head.

"No time."

"What?!" Monica yelled, gasping as she shot a frustrated glance at Phoebe. "I can't have him here! At the apartment! I…"

She was cut off by another painful contraction. She closed her eyes, still panting.

"What?! What do we do? What?!" Chandler demanded, beseeching anyone in the room. His arm was becoming numb because Monica had such a death grip on him, and he was completely terrified.

Rachel waved from their bedroom.

"Come on! Get her in here!" she said. Chandler reminded Monica to breathe as he and Ross helped her to the bedroom and onto their bed.

"We've got to see if she's crowning," Phoebe said, pulling off Monica's shoes as Chandler pulled down her slacks. "Mon, I'm sorry but we gotta, um, take off your, ah…."

Ross scurried to stand by Monica's head, giving Rachel a grimace. She rolled her eyes as Monica reached for her hand.

"I got it," Chandler said, falling to his knees at the foot of the bed as he slid off her panties. His eyes were wide as he looked back at his wife.

"Pheebs?" he asked in a calmer voice than anyone expected, including himself, his eyes never leaving Monica's. Phoebe looked down and could see the top of Baby Bing's head, dark black hair covered in goo.

"Yep, yep," she nodded as Monica was hit with another contraction.

"I got a cab," Joey called as he came in the apartment door. "What?!"

He stopped dead in his tracks as he came through the door, glancing at the chaos in the bedroom. Ross went out to meet him in the living room.

"Call 911, from your place," Ross said, panic in his voice. "The baby is coming, right now. Wait for the paramedics downstairs after you call and get them up here as fast as you can."

"Is she OK?" Joey asked, panicked, his heart pounding hard.

"Yeah, but we're gonna have to deliver their baby," Ross said with a nod, heading back to the bedroom again as his sister's next painful cry echoed through the apartment. Ross pointed toward the door. "Go, go!"

"Oh my God!" Joey said as he left and ran over into Apartment 19.

"We can't have him here! We can't!" Monica said, gasping for air, her eyes locked on her husband. "Chandler!"

"I don't think we have a choice," he said, rolling up his sleeves as he rocked back on his knees. It was suddenly very clear to him that he was going to have to help her bring their son into the world in a much more involved way than he'd ever thought.

"Chandler!" she half-demanded, half sobbed.

Chandler looked up at his wife's worried, terrified face and their eyes locked. All of a sudden it seemed they were the only two people in the room.

"It'll be OK," he said. "Baby…"

"Chandler…Chandler…what if…oh God…." she shook her head, her face contorted in agony, another contraction hitting her full force. Chandler shot a worried glance at Phoebe.

"She needs to be closer to the edge of the bed," she told him quietly. "It'll help."

He looked up at Rachel, who nodded.

"Mon, can you…scoot to the end of the bed?" Rachel asked, but Monica didn't seem to hear her. When the contraction was over she started to cry, the pain, lack of control over the situation and unparalleled worry overwhelming her.

Chandler took a deep breath as past the blood and other bodily fluids he was trying hard not to notice he saw more of his baby's head in front of him. She was making progress and she wasn't even pushing.

"Mon…" Rachel started to ask the question again.

"No, it's OK, it's OK," Chandler said as he leaned forward and reached both his arms around under Monica's legs, gently lifting her hips a little, pulling her to him.

"What are you doing?!" she demanded, looking at him like he was crazy. He'd done that maneuver on her many times, but for a completely different reason. Just as gently he put her hips down again at the edge of the bed. He didn't answer, instead looking from his wife to his baby and back again.

"His head, Mon," he said, his voice cracking. "I can…I can see him."

"Really?!" she squeaked, swallowing back her tears, a look of awe briefly coming over her face as she looked at the tears in Chandler's eyes.

"Yeah," he said, lump in his throat. He swallowed hard. "OK, next time, Mon, you gotta really push."

"But Chandler…!"

"I'll catch him, Mon, I promise," he said, looking intently at her.

"But…but you're a dropper," she said, even though she gave him a little smile behind her worried expression.

"I've got him, baby, I've got him," he said, securing his palm below his son's head. "I'm not gonna let him go."

"Oh God," she gasped, feeling another strong contraction coming. She looked directly into Chandler's eyes, as if he was her only lifeline then she shook her head, her vulnerability on display like it never had been before in front of anyone except him.

"I know," he whispered, nodding once, his eyes full of understanding and love. "I know."

Monica started to whimper as the pain subsided and she mouthed to him "I'm scared."

"I know," he nodded again, his voice faltering just a touch, "but we've got this. We've got this, Mon. We're gonna have our baby today."

"Chandler!" she started to panic again as another contraction came over her, and she reached out for him. He clutched her fingers between his as she closed her eyes and started to pant again. He tugged on the hand he was holding and her blurry eyes shot open.

"Look at me!" he said firmly. "Monica, look at me!"

And as she turned her eyes to his a sense of calm in the center of the storm suddenly came over her. She didn't yell, she didn't pant, she just looked into her husband's face.

"Focus on me," he said, his eyes boring into hers. "Focus. Breathe. Push."

She took a deep breath, a look of deep concentration settling into her features, and pushed, both Ross and Rachel bracing her back.

"That's it!" he said excitedly, grinning at her. "That's it! There ya go! Keep pushing, keep pushing…"

"Done," she breathed when the contraction passed, falling back into the pillows Rachel had piled up for her.

"Head's out," Phoebe smiled, putting a hand on Chandler's shoulder as he secured his fingers under his son's head, barely knowing what he was doing, only knowing he wasn't about to let go.

"Eyes," Monica said, now completely in her own zone as another contraction came right on top of the last. She seemed to be talking to her husband in a code only he could understand. "Chandler. Eyes."

With one last look at his son, his head shot up.

"Look at me," he whispered, the overwhelming emotions causing tears to stream down his otherwise controlled face, one hand holding hers, the other with a grip on their son. Phoebe grabbed a clean towel, knelt down next to Chandler and held it open under his hand.

"It's coming," she said, her eyes never leaving his. He nodded, every muscle in his body wound up tight, their entwined fingers crushing together.

"Breathe. Push," he said. And she did, as hard as she could, Ross and Rachel in tears on either side of her head, Phoebe with damp eyes and a big grin on her face. Chandler's eyes left Monica's as he wrestled his hand out of her tight grasp just in time to steady their baby boy as he slipped out into his arms.

"In the bedroom," Joey pointed quickly. The paramedics made their way into the apartment just as Baby Boy Bing let out his first long wail.

With Phoebe's help Chandler placed their son on Monica's stomach. Chandler watched the expression on her face, the love beaming from her to their baby, in complete awe, oblivious to the chaos around him. Finally he slowly backed away as the paramedics took over. One gave him a little grin as he held out scissors and Chandler placed them into his shaking, wet, sticky hands and cut the umbilical cord.

In what seemed like a flash one paramedic wiped off the baby and placed him back in his mother's arms as the other paramedics finished with the physical aspects of the delivery.

Chandler felt almost detached from everyone as he watched their friends huddle around Monica, the smile on her face unlike anything he'd ever seen. He grinned as he stifled back a sob, the happiness in his heart melting his insides.

Monica finally had her baby.

Quickly they moved his wife from the bed to the stretcher and started to take her out of their apartment, their friends following close behind. He stood, frozen in the now quiet room, looking around at the bloody towels and bedsheets.

I have to clean this up, was his only thought as he knelt down and began to fold up the soiled linen. He didn't even hear a sound when his friends came back.

"Chandler?" Rachel said in shock, walking back into the bedroom - Joey and Ross following close behind.

"Whatta doing, man?" Ross asked, gesturing to the room.

"I…I don't know," Chandler said, standing up and looking down at his hands. He gave them a confused look, clearly in his own state of shock.

"D-did I just…just?"

"You did," Joey said, a gigantic smile on his face. "You did, man, you did!"

"Is she? He?" he asked, looking from one friend to the next, worry on his face.

"They're fine," Ross assured him, putting his hands on Chandler's shoulders, and adding with tears in his eyes. "They're perfect."

"Oh my God," Chandler whispered as he stared at Ross, his eyes filling with tears. And just like that the adrenaline of the last half hour hit him. Hard. Rachel and Joey both came to stand by him, both in tears as they put their arms around him.

"Oh my God!" he repeated, tears streaming down his face.

"You were amazing," Rachel said after a moment, choking on her words. "So…just…you both…I've never seen anything like it."

He glanced at her and she gave him a soft smile.

"We'll take care of this," she said gently, nodding toward the bedroom. "Go. Go be with your wife and your son."

He looked at the happy, nodding faces around him and his face broke into a huge smile.

"Yeah…OK," he said, quickly starting to walk toward the door. "OK! Ah…wait…"

He scrunched up his face and made a beeline for the bathroom, turning on the water and soaping up his hands and arms. As he rinsed off the soap he caught his own reflection in the mirror, and for the first time he didn't see just himself looking back.

He saw a father. His baby boy's father.

"Chandler!" Phoebe said, as she swept back into the apartment. "Where are you?!"

"I'm coming," he said as he excited the bathroom. Phoebe ran over to him and gave him a big, brief hug.

"Monica wants you," she said, starting to push him out the door. "She won't let them leave without you!"

Chandler flashed her a smile as he left the apartment and practically flew down the stairs.

Monica spotted him the moment he hurried outside into the shadows cast by their building over the street. Her eyes, which had never really been free of tears, welled up again as a huge smile broke across her face. She briefly glanced down at their now sleeping son as Chandler nodded to one of the ambulance drivers as he came toward her.

"There he is," she whispered, her voice thick. "There's our hero, Little Man. There's your Daddy."

She reached out to him as he hopped up into the back of the ambulance. Chandler smiled and took her hand in his, his eyes landing on their baby as he sat down next to her.

"He's so beautiful, isn't he so beautiful?" she said, tears once again falling down her face. Chandler chuckled a little, tears in his eyes.

"'Cause of you," he said, running his hand over his son's nursery blanket, his index finger gently caressing his son's velvety cheek.

"I'm so glad he's OK," he said quietly, his voice cracking, "you're both OK."

He closed his eyes, raised her hand to his lips and kissed it.

"Because of you," she whispered, smile on her face and love shining in her watery eyes as she squeezed his hand. "Because of you. Thank you."

Chandler's reply was cut-off as one of the paramedics came in to check on baby and mother before the ambulance left for the hospital.

"I see you found Dad," she said, nodding to Chandler.

"Yes," Monica said with a little giggle.

"Congratulations, sir," she said.

"Thank you," Chandler smiled, with one last smile she looked at Monica. "Are you ready?"

Monica smiled at her, then beamed at her husband, squeezing his hand even more. He gave her his lopsided grin.

"Yeah," he said, spreading the fingers of his free hand over his son and looking into Monica's eyes. "We're ready."

The End.

NOTE: Baby Boy Bing's name can be anything you want :) Hope you enjoyed it!