First Love, Last Love

A SoCo fan fiction written for a challenge. Mostly shameless fluff. I miss these two so much. I have liked Sonny with a number of women but Connie (Kate) and Sonny just had something special IMO. I miss them. Anyway, enjoy this!

Chapter 1

Make a "Why I Love You" List

A blood-red envelope was clenched in her fist as she hurried up the front steps of the Greystone. She needed to do this before she lost her nerve. It was probably stupid. It was very probably insane too, but Sonny deserved to know how she felt; even if she hated wearing her heart on her sleeve more than anything; even if she couldn't tell him these things to his face.

She had to do this.

Max came out onto the porch just as she was about to stuff the envelope under the door. "Here to see Mr. C?" He asked.

"I have something for him but I am sure he's busy so I'll just leave it here and scram. Bye -" Connie broke off as Max suddenly ushered her into the house.

"The boss will want to see you," Max insisted.

Connie tugged free of his grasp and held out the envelope. "Just give this to Sonny, okay? Can you do that?" Without it messing up? she added silently, biting down on her tongue so she wouldn't actually say what she was really thinking. She had a big mouth; she knew that. These flapping gums of hers all too often got her into trouble.

Max looked at the envelope in her outstretched hand. "You should give whatever that is to him yourself."

Connie gritted her teeth. "Max, I really don't have the time. I have a lot to do today and -"

"Connie?" Sonny's voice met her ears and she cringed as she turned to see him standing in the doorway of his study looking damned handsome - much more than anyone had a right to.

"Oh hey, Sonny," Connie said. "I was actually just leaving." She started to hurry out the door but he moved after her, gently taking her by the arm and drawing her back.

"So soon? No, you came here for some reason. Why don't you tell me what that reason is?" He said, staring deeply into her eyes.

Her face flushed. "I was just passing through the neighborhood," Connie lied, rather unconvincingly too, she admitted to herself.

Max pointed to the envelope in her hand. "She brought you some kind of letter, Boss," he said and Connie had to resist the urge to hit Max.

"A letter, huh?" Sonny said. He tugged it free of her grip before she could stop him. She tried to grab for it but he held it up out of her reach, twisting in the opposite direction as she made another desperate grab for it.

"Let me read it," Sonny said.

"No, Sonny, no," Connie said. "It's not really very important anyway."

"Oh I think it is," Sonny said. He shredded the envelope and pulled out the white sheet of paper.

She rolled her eyes. "You don't listen very well," Connie said.

Sonny said nothing as he looked at the words scrawled in her handwriting on the page. He looked at Max. "You're excused, Max," he said and then turned to her. "And you're coming with me, Connie."

He reached for her again, taking her by the shoulders and steering her into the study. He shut the door with his foot and came to stand behind her, holding the paper out in front of them so they could both see it. Connie wanted to kick him very badly as he started reading aloud.

"'Why I love you'," Sonny said. "'A list of reasons.'"

Reason #1: You never gave up on me even when I gave you every reason to do so.

Reason #2: You have the sexiest dimples and eyes I've ever seen on any man.

Sonny paused to gently caress the nape of her neck. She shivered. "You think I am sexy, do you?" He said.

"Oh be quiet," Connie said and wanted to sink through the floor as he continued reading aloud.

Reason #3: You treat like I'm your equal. You know, I really appreciate that.

Reason #4: You make me believe I can be happy; that I deserve to be.

Reason #5: You don't treat me like I'm fragile or broken or crazy. I think you just love me the way I am.

Reason #6: You somehow got me through Trey's death. You made me realize I could love him, even if I lost him.

Reason #7: Most of all, I love you because you're you, Sonny. There will never be anyone else for me - ever.

Sonny finished reading the list but just kept staring at it as if he couldn't quite believe the words. Connie spun away from him. "Well, that's it then," Connie said. "See ya around."

"Connie, wait," Sonny said. He held up the paper. "Why didn't you want to give me this yourself?"

Connie sighed as she fisted her hands at her sides. "Because it's humiliating okay - needing someone the way I need you."

"Why is that humiliating?" Sonny asked. He set down the stupid list and moved over to her. She tried to look away but he reached out and cupped her face in his big hands, drawing her chin up so they were eye-to-eye.

"It just is," Connie said. "I don't do needy and pathetic."

"It's not pathetic to love someone, Connie. In fact, it can be the best feeling in the world sometimes." Sonny looked at her earnestly. "Isn't it time you stop running, sweetheart? Isn't it time you came back to me?"

"Sonny, I don't like being vulnerable and that's how I am feeling right now."

"It's okay to feel sometimes, Connie. It really is."

"But I feel too much…" She felt shameful, awful tears filling her eyes. "Dammit, look at what you're doing to me! This was such a colossally dumb idea."

"No, it wasn't. It was sweet."

"Did Sonny Corinthos just use the word 'sweet'? And to describe me of all people? No, Sonny, I'm not sweet. I am bitchy and complicated and messy on a good day and you'd be wise to just run screaming in the opposite direction."

"I am not going anywhere," Sonny said. He caressed her cheek, which to her horror was damp with her tears. "I don't think you want me to go anywhere either."

"Sonny," she murmured. "Do you really want to take me on?"

"You'd better believe I do," Sonny said. "I want everything with you. I think I always have. I think that the other women in my life were just a passing distraction."

"Can you really love Connie though, Sonny? You loved Kate and I can't be her anymore. I don't want to be."

"Hey, hey, remember that I loved Connie first. I will love her last, and forever."

Connie sighed and gave him a light shove. "You're saying all the right things. Damn you."

Sonny smiled, showing off those fabulous, make-your-panties-wet dimples. "I am doing my best."

"I know you are. You really are good to me, you know."

"I am not a perfect man, Connie, but the one thing you will never have to doubt again is that I love you."

"I know that now," Connie said. "That's another reason... Another reason I - I love you."

Sonny grinned. "Should we add that to the official list?"

"Shut up! I know it was a dumb idea to write that out but I just couldn't imagine saying all of those things to you out loud."

"Well, I am glad I finally know what you really feel for me. Don't be scared, okay? Don't be spooked. Don't run anymore. This time, know that I am going to take damn good care of you. I know you're strong, but it's okay to lean on me once in awhile. I want you to do that, sweetheart. I want you to feel you can trust me."

"I think I want that too," Connie said. Another tear slipped down her cheek. "You make me into an even bigger mess, you know. But ... Thank you… for not giving up on me, Sonny. It means a lot."

"I can't give up on you. I can't cut my heart out like that and you are my heart."

Connie leaned forward, her mouth mere centimeters from his luscious lips. "Why do you have to go and say stuff like that? Are you trying to turn me into a big pile of mush?"

"Depends. Is it working?"

Connie nodded. "Yeah, it's working." She pressed her lips to his. He tasted so good, he felt so good, he felt like coming home. He felt like peace.

It was the best kiss she'd ever enjoyed and she hated for it to end. Her arms snaked up to knot around his shoulders as their mouths moved against each other's. His tongue slipped past her lips and somehow, obliterated all of her defenses in the process.

Sonny reached for the buttons on her dress and then pulled back to look at her. "I want to make love to you, Connie. Tell me you want that." His voice was low and husky.

Connie hadn't made love to Sonny since her personalities severed and she realized what had truly broken her in the first place. This felt like a new experience somehow. But she wanted it. She wanted him. So bad she could taste it.

She grabbed for the lapels of his suit jacket. "I want that too, Sonny. I want you to make love to me. I don't want you to let go."

He kissed her again and again. "Then don't let go, Connie. I won't either. I lost you before but never, ever again."

He scooped her up into his arms and she looped her legs around his waist. "Sonny," she whimpered as he slipped his hand between them and stroked her sensitive nipples.

"Let's get you to the bedroom."

"Screw the bedroom," Connie said. "The couch! Take me on the couch or the desk or against the wall. Just do it now, Sonny," she gasped out desperately. His hands were driving her wild.

He smiled and gently tucked an errant lock of white-blonde hair behind her ear. "You deserve better than a quick fuck, Connie. No, we're going upstairs and I am going to make love to you all night long."

"Promises, promises," she whispered hoarsely.

He kissed the corners of her mouth and then juggling her in his arms, opened the study door, moving for the staircase. Max saw them and a big, goofy grin appeared on his face. Connie snapped at him, "What are you staring at? Go guard something."

Max shrugged and shuffled off. Connie clung to Sonny's taut body as they moved up the stairs, kissing passionately all of the way to his bedroom.