Mew: Pokémon Porn Star???

Disclaimer: Same old, same old...
While Mew and gang plans how to stop Amy Rose, we join a certain Magazine owner...
Montél Vicious: (On the phone with his agent) Well, I dunno. Mew was a big success, but Amy Rose looks attractive...No, you're stupid! You know what...yeah. You're fired! Bye! (Hangs up)

Mew suddenly comes in.

Mew: How could you hire that hellcat?!
Montél Vicious: What?
Mew: She beat my cover sensless!
Montél Vicious: Amy Rose hit hard, I guess.
Mew: Well, guess what? I'll go her one better than that!
Montél Vicious: How?

Mew whispers into Montél's ear what her devilish idea is.

Montél Vicious: WHAT?!? That-that-that...

Meanwhile, at U.D...

Mewtwo: (Still playing poker with Lugia) Does a Straight beat it?
Lugia: Nope, Straight doesn't beat it a Royal Straight!
Mewtwo: -__- I need to beat Lugia someday...
Mew: (Breaks in) MEWTWO!!! I GOT A JOB TO BEAT AMY!!!
Mewtwo: Poison testing?
Lugia: Date with Tracy?
Mew: ...Pay Per View Porn Star!
Mewtwo: WHAT?!?
Lugia: HUH?!?
Sonic: You?
Shadow: I'm bigger on Pay Per View...

So, the next day, Mew goes too the Sensual Movies studio...

Steven Viciousberg: So, you wanna beat Amy Rose at her own game, huh?
Mew: Yeah! Gimme a good hot movie! Just look at this ugly and suggestive pose Amy did!
Steven Viciousberg: (Sees the pic) Whoa...that's...too suggestive...
Mew: She's playing with her crotch! HER CROTCH!!!
Steven Viciousberg: Let's start flimming, right now...

And as Mew starts her movie, another certain someone comes in...

Steven Viciousberg: Oh, hello?
Rouge: I'd like to-
Steven Viciousberg: Beat Amy at her own game?
Rouge: And I want everyone to see that MY size is better than Amy's.
Mew: Uh, I hope we're not doing a lesbian movie...
Rouge: Oh, God...let's hope not!

Meanwhile, at Whirl Islands...

Celebi: (Playing poker with Lugia) Royal Flush!
Lugia: NO!
Celebi: Yes! Take it off! (Starts scatting the tune for 'the stripper' as Lugia takes his fold off) Whoa! You're a beautiful nude pokémon!
Lugia: Awww, I feel loved...
Suicune: (Busts in) GUYS!!! Mew's gonna be in a-OH, MY GOD! MAKE YOURSELF DECENT, LUGIA!
Lugia: Suicune, this is a private game, come back when it's over.
Suicune: You're not gonna beileve this, but Lugia...Mew's gonna be in an adult movie! It's unspeakable!
Celebi: She's on PPV?
Lugia: ADULT MOVIE?! HOLY COW, I'VE GOTTA SEE THIS! (Runs out of Whirl Islands)
Celebi: He's gonna feel really stupid when he finds out he forgot his fold. (Screams are heard outside) Yep, he knows right

Back at...Brock's Gym...

Annoucer: Tonight on 2 HOT Pav Per View, Mew stars in...Pokémon: The Wild Fantasies.
Brock: Oh, this is gonna be so sweet!
James: Pokémon making love is not my bag...
Jessie: He prefers the human species... (Drags James to somewhere private)
Brock: Damn, I wish Jessie'd done that to me!

Back at Sensual Studios...

Steven Viciousberg: Ok, Mew, I want you take the robe off when I begin flimming...
Mew: (I'm finally gonna get revenge with that little hellcat!) Ready when you are, Speilberg-er, I mean, Viciousberg.

Hot twangy porno music begins as Mew begins to strip her robe, but all of the sudden...

Mewtwo: NO, MEW! DOOOOON'T! (Covers her)
Steven Viciousberg: Hey, this is my movie! If you screw it up, you'll face millions of disapointed fans of Mew!
Mewtwo: Well, you disapoint me, Viciousberg! How could you try to expose Mew to people like that?!
Mew: To get revenge at Amy Rose!
Mewtwo: Hold on, can't you see I'm scolding this guy here? Well, you're not, ok? If anyone's gonna expose's gonna me!
Mew: Wait, Mewtwo! What are you saying?
Mewtwo: Mew, I'm willing to give up my dignity and face many scandalous papers, but Mew, no matter what happens, if this porn fails you or not, I'll always think you're the sexiest pokémon ever.
Mew: (Tear rolls down her face) Oh, Mewtwo! Take me now!
Mewtwo: Hello! (Gets pulled down on the floor by Mew to do...unspeakable things)
Steven Viciousberg: Ok, aaaaaand, ACTION! (Starts filming)

Later, after that kinky filming...

Steven Viciousberg: Wow, that was an awesome piece of footage...
Mew: That was outstanding, Mewtwo...
Mewtwo: Whew! We have to get Amy back...

Suddenly, after all that loving emotion...

Amy Rose: You sick twits! You nearly wrecked the community with that filth!
Mew: What, you can't compete against hot psychic pokémon action?
Amy Rose: You guys are so disgusting!
Mewtwo: And this pose is not? (Shows her the pic of that suggestive pose)
Amy Rose: Eeek! I did that?! I don't remember that!
Montél Vicious: (Busts in) Mew, please! Come back to model for me!
Amy Rose: You little punk-ass twerp! (Slaps Montél Vicious)
Montél Vicious: What did I do to you, child?
Amy Rose: What in the blue f*** is this?! (Show him the pic)
Montél Vicious: Huh?! I didn't do that!
Mew: But you hired her, Montél!
Montél Vicious: I just wanted her to go topless under a waterfall, and she agreed!
Amy Rose: Well, if you didn't then...who did?

(Camera Clicks!)

Tracy Sketchit: Afterglow can be so arousing! Hee hee heeeee...
Mew: (Dails 1-800-LAW-SUIT) Yeah, this Mew M. Psychic...yeah, I'm calling to set up a lawsuit against 2 HOT 4 U Magazine and Tracy Sketchit.

Later, at the courthouse...

Judge Vicious: Well, Montél, I'm sorta disapointed in you. Not only did you let Tracy Sketchit take lurk around your studio and try to provoke Amy Rose, but at the same time, you made Mew never know about it! What do you have to say for yourself?
Montél Vicious: I didn't know Tracy was lurking around. I payed him 500 zenny to leave my place, and he agreed! But just today, he was lurking around taking pictures of Amy Rose in her dressing room!
Tracy Sketchit: THAT'S A LIE!
Judge Vicious: Well, since you're family...I'll let you go.
Montél Vicious: WOOHOO!
Judge Vicious: Ok, this is just ridiculious. I get called up in California for a law suit case because Tracy Sketchit was trying to get pictures of Amy Rose in her dressing room, and then I found my own cousin caught in the act?!
Tracy Sketchit: That's about the size of it.
Judge Vicious: GRRRR! Oh, I had 3 weeks vacation, and you've ruined it! Tracy Sketchit, for spying, sexual harassment, and other countless charges, I sentence you to life in Celadon City Prison in holding cell number 49X5. The same cell...AS GIOVANNI!
Tracy Sketchit: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! (Gets dragged off by two men in white coats)

The courtroom cheers for the victory.

Amy Rose: So, I guess I'm off the hook, right?
Judge Vicious: Not exactly, Ms. Rose. You see, Montél decieved you and you modeled for him at the age of 12, and it states you must be 18 or older to do, for defrauding the system, I'm only gonna to ask for a 500 zenny fine.
Amy Rose: (Tears begin to flow down her face) SOOOOONIKUUUUUU!!! (Runs off crying)
Mew: We did it, Mewtwo!
Mewtwo: Yep, we stopped a peeping tom, put Amy in her place, and everything's back to normal!
Mew: I love you, Mewtwo. (Kisses Mewtwo on the cheek) Let's go home...
Mewtwo: Yeah, and when we get there, I'll play you in strip poker...
Mew: Feh, you'll lose easily.

They turn around to see Judge Vicious still standing there. Mew goes over to Vicious.

Mew: Hey, Judge Vicious?
Judge Vicious: Yeah, Mew?
Mew: Does this mean I'm not gonna get the money?

(Cue Violin music)

Judge Vicious: Well, I'm sorry. I got something back for you, though...your dignity. And no matter how much it may pressure you to get more money, whether it's posing nude or prostitution, you can't put a price on your dignity.
Mewtwo: (Tear rolls down his face) That was very moving, Vicious...where'd you get that?
Judge Vicious: From a X-Rated movie poster.

(Music abruptly stops)

Mew: Ah, nice...well, see you around.
Judge Vicious: Bye, and remember, sometimes dignity prevails over everything!
Mewtwo: What did he say?
Mew: I missed it.

Back at Whirl Islands...

Lugia: (Watching Joe Millionaire) So, the girl wins 1,000,000 dollars just cause the guy loves her?
Celebi: And he's not even a millionaire!
Lugia: Boy, Reality TV sure sucks!
Celebi: Yep...let's watch Real TV!
Lugia: Ok! (Flips it over to The New TNN to watch Real TV)
Celebi: All right! Let's see if someone gets caught in a car wreck!
Lugia: No, let's see a bull fight go wrong!

They turn to each other...

Rouge: You guys are weird...
Shadow: I don't know why we came over here anyways...