Cobra was annoyed.
It was hot, and bright, and the sound of forest bugs were giving him a headache, his heightened senses picking up on every small sound. Some stupid group of rouge mages were sitting far into the forest, and he and his crew had taken the job of packing them up, only to find out Fairy Tail's Team Natsu was also on the job. Meredy had squealed, excited to see Juvia who was sure to be tailing Gray, and whatever skin Jellal let show through his mask had turned a bright red as he had read Erza's name. Macbeth could care less, and Sorano was on her own mission. Sawyer had ridden off before they could ask where he was going, and Richard was singing a song while skipping away in the direction opposite of Sawyer. Erik wanted to go home.
But of course, something had to go wrong, as does everything Fairy Tail sticks their bloody noses into, he mused. The guild had split up, and Crime Sorciere had to split up as well, only to learn that so had Fairy Tail.
Erik had taken on a few rather strong mages, but he had escaped unscathed, save for a rather large gash on his upper right arm which he had covered with a jacket. He left them poisoned and tied to a tree, and had kept wandering, only to be scared shitless and let out a rather unmanly scream when a large tree had appeared to down, causing thunder to ring the air. Shaking it off, he ran into Jellal finishing his own fight. The bluenette was heaving as he stood around a rather large number of mages, blood staining the nearby vegetation. Cobra rustled a few leaves as he approached his friend. Jell spun around, eyes dangerous. Cobra held a hand up, and Jellal relaxed. Cobra raised an eyebrow.
"You good?" Jellal looked at him strangely.
"Yes, why?" Cobra glanced at the blood on the ground to the rather violently attacked mages, and back to Jellal. He shrugged.
"No reason." Jellal looked at the battlefield.
"Help me tie them up, then we can find Meredy and Midnight." The two set to work, and soon they had a nice pyramid of rogue mages. They set off in a direction and hoped they would find someone. All of sudden, a rogue mage flew over their heads, knocking down a few trees. The Crime Sorciere mages looked at each other, and then promptly took off in the direction the mage had come from, only to come across none other than Erza Scarlette, who seemed to have not noticed them, slowly coming down from battle mode. Cobra threw a look at Jellal, only to find him one again blushing like a school girl. Cobra rolled his eyes, the annoying atmosphere finally getting to him. He bluntly and loudly voiced his anger to the world.
"Oh come on! How are you one of the strongest mages this world has seen and yet you blush the color of a strawberry over a girl?!" Erza, unprepared for an audience, shrieked a rather feminine "KYAA", only to blush as red as her hair when she saw how she had embarrassed herself in front of Jellal. Cobra only had to take a look at her face to know what she was thinking, and he once again rolled his eyes. Addressing Erza, he said "Hehe, you could be a stripper and act like the weird water mage, and this guy would still love you," he said, a large smirk adorning his face as he jerked a thumb over in Jellal's direction. The smirk was wiped off his face as Erza threw a surprisingly heavy pack for its' size at his face. Erik flew backward and the contents of her pack emptied on the floor around him. "DAMNIT IT HURTS WHAT THE FUCK?!" he spat. He was ignored by the happy couple. Sighing, he stood up and observed the contents of her bag, seemingly Russia and more. A beeping Lacrima caught his eye. Lucy? He answered it, peering in. The blonde beauty screamed and fell, and he couldn't help the chuckle that escaped him. In a few minutes, they had plans to meet where he took off in her direction.
After a bit of polite conversation, an apology for breaking her tree again, and a vague plan, the two set off.
It was safe to say that Lucy was enjoying Erik's company.
He behaved like a dick, cussed like a sailor, and laughed like a pedophile. His sense of humor came from her tripping on weeds, his humoring of her coming from stories of her teammates, one he was in the process of telling her.
"I shit you not, Midnight is so pissy when you wake him up, he behaves like a little girl! Why is this funny to you?!" The stellar mage was laughing so hard she had to stop walking, clutching her sides. Erik was attempting to look upset, but her bright smile was contagious and a small smile spread across his.
"I find it hard to believe some guy who even fights with his eyes closed fights the worse when he's awake, how does that even make sense?" Lucy said, brushing a tear away. Erik grimaced, as he thought about previous incidences.
"It honestly is a hazard to wake him up when he's asleep, guy doesn't know how to control himself, he's like a less obnoxious version of your partner," he said, shaking his head.
"No way, Natsu is a special person. I still can't picture Midnight doing that though!" She giggled again, picturing a half awake Midnight flattening a couple buildings with a yawn.
"I'm serious okay, this is no joke. Once, Richard the idiot tripped over Midnight's rug and woke the guy up. And of course, that emo woman," Erik added air quotes around the 'woman' making Lucy laugh again, "rightly pissed, sends a blast of magic in Richard's direction. Richard's already huge, he's like 6 foot 7, how have we not been able to see him yet? Anyway, the big oaf trips again and accidentally freaking SHOOTS his Earth Magic into the ground, where it makes a small hill up under Midnight, so he goes up, and takes the ground from us, and the next thing you know, I'm six fucking feet underground in a hole, with my teammates calling for Richard's head. Sorano is the only one still on the ground, and she gets hit by Midnight's magic. So she screams, and then she grabbed the first things she could find, which happened to be Sawyer's vehicle, which somehow did not fall into the hole with him. Poor Sawyer is screaming bloody murder cuz she's touching his precious, and she grabs the bike by the handles and chucks it at Midnight, who swerved right out of the way, EYES CLOSED. It whacked Meredy, who was the first to climb out of the hole Richard had sunk her in. Sawyer is out next and he tries to go for Sorano for touching his baby, trips over Richard who is on the ground and falls into Jellal's hole, and pulls Jellal back to the ground. So of course, Jellal blasts him, and the two fly out and by the time I get out, the things flew into an all out war and the next few acres over were flattened," Erik concluded, puffing from the large rant. Lucy had her hand on her knees, shoulder's shaking with laughter.
"HAHAHAH and you say we are bad! At least we can walk through the forest correctly, and when we fight only an acre or two get's destroyed HAHAHA!" She laughed, and even Erik had given up containing his laughter, and his deep baritone chuckles melded with her high open laughter nicely. As Erik's laughter increased, Lucy found herself looking at him, his eye scrunched up as he laughed. He's really good looking, he looks nice when he laugh… Lucy thought to herself, forgetting the mage next to her had telepathy. His laughter ceased, as he looked at her smirking smugly. She eyed him. "What?" she asked.
"You think I'm hot?" She looked lost before she understood. She smacked him hard across the arm.
"Don't read my mind jerk!" He grinned wider.
"Why? Something you aren't ready to tell me yet?" He mocked her with sarcasm. Lucy smiled.
"Okay, let's play a game. You read my mind. I'll switch thoughts, and you say them as quickly as you can, ok?" Erik nodded. This would be fun. The poison slayer focused on the beautiful blonde in front of him, his red eye brightening. Pictures in her mind flashed in front of him, and he listed them out.
"House, guild fight, Titania and cake, mansion, your keys, naked Gra- WHAT THE FUCK BLONDIE?!" Lucy howled with laughter as Erik cringed. He was just blessed by a very, very descriptive image of the Ice Make mage's little friend, and for a split second the slayer pondered how the celestial mage had gotten such a detailed picture. "WHY WOULD YOU SHOW ME THAT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD?! FUCK! SOMEONE GET ME BLEACH!" Lucy had all but given up on her legs and was on the ground rolling around, while Erik desperately tried to erase the image from his mind, and if Lucy didn't know better, she would think running around in a circle helped him do that, as did bashing his head on a the tree.
Jellal and Erza had heard a very long and large stream of curse words, that sounded suspiciously like the poison dragon slayer. The shy pair shot to their feet and not even 100 feet away, the say something very amusing.
Lucy was lying in the circle of an uneven clearing, clutching her stomach as she all but looked like she was seizing from her laughter. Meanwhile, the poison dragon slayer was running around in a circle looking mental, while screaming out words that should never be repeated, and bashing his head into trees. The couple looked at each other, unsure where to start.
"What exactly happened here…?" Erza asked unsure. Jell shrugged.
"Let's listen, maybe then we'll figure something out." Erza nodded. Cobra was now huddled on the floor and talking, more like screaming, to Lucy, who was very incapable of listening to him. "WHY THE FUCK DOES YOUR ICE MAGE STRIP?! IS HE NOT COLD ENOUGH AS IT?! WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE SUCH A DETAILED PICTURE OF HIS COCK IN YOUR MIND?! EW, GROSS FUCK FUCK FUCK!" Erik chanted as Lucy went into another laughing fit.
Jellal and Erza raised eyebrows as they heard Erik. They could guess what happened, and looking at their best friends on the floor in pain from two very different things, they both started chuckling, only to turn into full fledged laughter. Cobra looked up from his tree corner at the couple, as Lucy craned her neck from her position on the floor to look at them. She glanced at Erik who glanced back, and soon there they were- four of the strongest mages in Fiore, if not the world, laughing like lunatics over the dick of an Ice Make mage.