Full Summary: Being a single mother-while married-is hard enough. It gets a whole lot worse when you're handed divorce papers the second you get pregnant again. Bella's decided her children need to come first-they're what matters and she sticks by this until she meets Edward, a twenty three year old with masked problems of his own. Will help from each other be enough to help them move on from the horrors in their past? Even as their past keeps popping up to haunt them while they still have to struggle through with their own family life.
I don't let her leave my hands, my arms raise above my head and my hands clutch onto her as tight as ever. Her arms shoot out and she laughs, showing off her gaped mouth smile. She still has the dark green bow her brother picked to go in her hair and it clashes horribly with her light pink dress, but if the baby doesn't care neither do I. I bring her back down to me and she's still laughing-but it increases and turns into the high pitched laugh that makes me grin. I'm lost in our own little bubble as I stare at her blue eyes-the eyes I hate but love. When our bubble's burst by a voice I don't mind-but I flinch slightly in surprise, which he doesn't seem to notice.
''How old is she?''
I'm still smiling at her and I answer before I glance at him and go to rest her on my hip. ''Five months.'' When I do look up I'm happy I've already answered-because I find it hard to speak for a minute.
I shouldn't be looking-because he's probably too young and in a relationship and I have to focus on my children. ''Good age-when they finally start to sleep properly.''
''I know right?'' My eyes widen and I don't know why I say it. ''She's finally starting to sleep through nights.''
He looks down at her with a smile-one of the sides of his mouth turning up higher then the other. ''I haven't seen you here before.''
''I just moved here, my son's seven-you waiting on a child?'' It was a stupid question really-unless he was a creep of course he was standing outside a school waiting to pick up a child.
''Yeah, not mine, my brothers. She's eight-they're probably in the same class.''
I smile, he's the first person I've actually spoken to since I moved here and it's nice-but looking and speaking is as far as anything can go. As if it would go further-dream on. ''I'm Bella by the way, Bella Hu-Swan.'' I stammer, blushing and looking away as the school bell finally rings. ''Swan.''
He doesn't mention my slip which could make me kiss his feet. ''Edward Cullen.'' He reaches out his hand and I shift forward slightly to grab it and feel reluctant to let go. ''Here come the children.''
Right then Katie squeals for me and I bring her back to my eye level. ''I haven't forgotten about you, don't worry.'' She laughs and grabs my hair in her fist. ''Charming.''
Edward laughs. ''What's her name?''
''Katie.'' I'm smiling back at her again and she laughs more, yanking on her fist and bring my hair with her. ''That's Ben.'' I nod in the direction of the only boy remotely near us and walking towards us. ''I better get going.'' I don't know what makes me to do it but I pick up Katies elbow and I wave goodbye at him, turning faster then I should have to strap her in, hiding the grimace on my face. Ben walks around the other side and straps himself in, staying silent.
''It was nice meeting you Bella.''
''You too.'' I call, turning back to catch his eye as he turns to his own car; he's holding the hand of a little girl with black hair but I don't linger on them too long. I just get in the car and start up the engine. ''How was school?''
''Fine.'' I think he shrugged too-but I can't be sure.
''Meet any nice people?''
''Ben,'' I sigh. ''Did you try?''
''You know what.''
''I know that it doesn't matter what I do, you'll bring me there anyway.''
I sigh and feel like bashing my head off the steering wheel. But I need to concentrate on the road so I don't. ''It's not a punishment baby, it's meant to help.''
''It doesn't.'' He sulks. ''I hate it.''
''I know, I hate it too-''
''Doesn't stop you.'' He spits.
''Ben, turn down the tone please.''
''Yeah.'' He gets quiet again, realizing we're here.
''Ben, it's not a punishment.'' I promise as I pull up at the building from hell. I get that he hates it, I do, but he had to; there weren't many more choices. I once again quickly unstrap Katie and pull her along. Ben won't take my hand, either deeming himself too old or still too annoyed about this situation.
The woman at the reception desk glances up when I clear my throat. ''Appointment for three fifteen.''
She glances at Katie and back to me with a raised eyebrow and I have to hold back my eye roll. ''No, Ben Hunter.''
He can't be seen so he raises his hand and the receptionist nods. ''Dr Uley is ready, room four that way on the right.'' She points down the hall and I smile back in my thanks. We've been here once before and Dr Uley seemed like a nice woman-kind at least and able to deal with children no matter what they needed.
''Hello Bella, Ben.'' She smiles at us. ''Take a seat Ben, would you like your mom here?''
''I don't want to be here.'' He sneers. ''I don't want her here.''
''Ben.'' I warn.
''It's normal,'' Dr Uley waves it off. ''he'll want you when he wants you and you know how it works.''
I do, that I get to know his overall feelings so I can help him deal with it and I get to know the major details that affect him. I want to know it all but if he doesn't want me here they make me leave. ''Ring me if you need me, I'm just going across the street.'' To the supermarket-might as well shop as I wait for an hour.
Thankfully I don't have to move the car but I know I have to be fast Because it's near Kate's feeding time and she's getting tired. I know she can just fall asleep in the seat of the shopping kart she lies back in happily and spits at me. It's easier to shop without Ben, any child really. Katies not at the grabbing demanding stage yet and doesn't understand food-only funny shapes, faces and colors.
Halfway through the shop I know I need to speed up-not only is she hungry, but I'm getting really ready to feed her and just want to get out of there soon. I remember I need milk and when I spin around I hit into someone and curse from the pain, my breasts are raw from feeding Katie and hitting them into someone helped none.
''Sorry Bella.'' Edward has both his hands on my arms to steady me. ''You okay? You look like you're in pain?''
''Yeah I'm fine.'' I squeak out, blushing at the situation. ''Sorry I didn't see you.''
''I was just going to tell you Katie dropped her bear.'' He looks to the ground where her brown bear sits and I huff and pick it up.
''This thing. Thanks, she loves it.'' And she shows the love when I give it back to her and she loudly squeals at me.
''Do you not like the bear?'' He looks at me odd-probably because I don't like her having a bear.
''Not really. I just wish she's grow attached to something else.'' I narrow my eyes at her. ''Can't sleep without it.''
''Why do you hate it?''
I don't really think before I answer. ''Her father gave it to her.'' Then I realize. ''Sorry, just, yeah I better go.''
''Okay,'' he calls as I wheel away; fuck the milk. ''I'll see you tomorrow, at the school.''
Get a grip Bella, you're a divorced mother of two and he's too young to even look at you, he's just being nice.
None of this stops my body from tingling at his touch and yearning to turn around and look at him. I can't though, I know I can't so I pay quickly and go get my son and feed my daughter.
Even if I wasn't too old for him, I need to focus on my kids right now, Ben has his problems and Katie was only a baby, they were my life now and forever. Not some guy I'm beginning to see when I close my eyes after two stupid encounters.
That's all they were-and even if I imagine him looking at me right now I know he's at least in his early twenties, way too young.
It still doesn't stop his face from popping into my mind, but I pick up Ben and head home and lead the life I have to for my children. It's not fair, everything that Ben went through and I have to deal with it, be there for him through it, even if he doesn't want me.
Ultimately, that's what mattered.
What do you think? Do you want me to continue? If so chapters will be regular and fast-some very short so I may update two at a time. Tell me what you think-Thank you! ;)xxx