A shiver running down my spine as my eyes catch the sight of Four standing near the Chasm when Christina, Will and Al take our ways back to dorms. I have no idea why his presence makes me feel this way, excited to see him and can't look away. It's strange because most of the Initiates - okay every one of them - are afraid of him. But not me. I kind of know that he's not as tough as he seems. He has a softer side somewhere deep. Really deep.
My friends are chatting in front of me, but I don't pay attention to them. I stop when he turns his head to my direction and our eyes meet. A smile spreads on his face and his eyes light up immediately. I can't help to smile with him.
He says something to his buddies then pushes himself from the railing, and makes the way to my direction. I'm getting nervous as he gets closer and closer and I have to suppress a laugh when he's starting stumble and almost falling face forward. He stops in front of me and I notice the bottle in his hand filled with some brown liquid.
"Hey, Tris," he says and smile wilder if that even possible.
"Hi." He doesn't say anything else just staring at me. His eyes go down and check my whole body, I blush hard. I clear my throat. "What?"
"Nothing," he shakes his head. "Just… You look good, Tris. Really good..."
I start laughing nervously. I doubt he's right, but I just want to believe in his words and can't help but it's good to hear this. I just know he said that because he has alcohol in his system and not because he really think that.
"Okay, but I know you're drunk, Four."
"Yeah, maybe..." he scrapes his neck and his ears look more red than before. "But I'm serious. You always looks good, but in this clothes you so gorgeous."
I'm blushing so much my face feels really hot. This whole situation start to being awkward so I step backward to go back to the dormitory but he follows my movement.
"I… I need to go," I mutter but can't just leave him here. "But promise me you won't go near the chasm."
His smile seems sweet my heart melts with it. Oh God, I don't understand why he has this effect on me.
"I promise," he says in a light voice. "Though I have a feeling you don't really want to leave."
He's damn right, but it's not a place I should lost in his eyes.
"Maybe… but I should rest before the fear simulation tomorrow."
"Yeah… maybe you should," he says then takes a step closer to me. His mouth just right next to my ear. "Or you can meet me at my place."
My pulse goes up faster as I sense his hot breathing on my earlobe. His lips are almost on my skin. And he invites me to his home. For what? My stomach tightens as nervousness grows stronger in me. I should say no. I have to say no, but he charms me with his smile, touch and voice. I feel a sensation I can't even describe.
He whispers the direction to his apartment so quietly I can be the only who hear it. He lifts up his chin so we face to face now, his eyes memorize me again. A grin places to his face before he turns around and walks back to his buddies.
My friends are still waiting for me but they can't hide their confuse and curiosity. It seems like the end of the world that Four talked to me like a normal teenager guy should not an ice-hearted instructor. But it brings a lot of questions to them like why he was so happy and relaxed? And why he talked to me, an Initiates, even a Stiff?
"What he wants to you? Even said to you that made you blush?" Christina asks.
"Nothing," I say looking at the floor. I can't share his words with them. And certainly not his invitation. "He's just drunk,"
"Yeah, sure." It seems Will doesn't believe me.
I follow them to the dormitories. After a shower I try to sleep, but it's impossible after Four's words at the Chasm. He thinks I'm looking good. Even gorgeous. And he wants to see me now.
I'm waiting to the others be fast asleep which takes hours or at least I feel like an eternity, then I quietly slide off my bed and tiptoe to the hallway. Now I just have to follow use Four's lead to his home.
I'm nervous as hell when I stop in front of a door and I'm even not sure it's his. Every freaking doors seem alike. What if somebody else will open it? Or worse, Four was hooked up by some random chick. Nah that would be pretty awkward.
But I'm Dauntless, I can't chicken out now. So I take a deep breath and knock on the door.
There's no answer for a minute or two, then I knock again but still nothing. I'm about to give up and leave when I hear footsteps before the door fly open.
I relieve when I see Four standing in front of me but the knot immediately returns to my guts when I realize he only wears an undershirt and a boxer.
He grabs my arm without a word and pulls me into his apartment before slams the door hard I wince. Is he mad or something? I shouldn't came here.
But when I look up to Four, he seems relaxed and has a kind smile on his too perfect face.
"I thought you wouldn't coming."
"Now I'm here" I answer simply, trying not to shaking.
"Then take a seat." He pulls a chair to me. "Wanna drink something?"
"Uhm I don't know… You still drunk?"
"Not really I guess," he says sheepishly. That guy is so complicated… "Okay, I have some booze in the fridge."
"I'm not fan of alcohol," I mutter embarrased. In Dauntless everybody like dinking.
"Once a Stiff always a Stiff..." he burbles under his nose but I hear him clearly. I hate when somebody calls me Stiff. I'm not an Abnegation anymore.
"Then bring me some."
He grins hearing my words than takes his way to the kitchen and comes back with two glasses and a bottle full of some red liquid. He sits down to his bed and pours that weird stuff to the glasses and one of them hands to me.
"What is this?" I ask as I sniff it. It smells sour so I don't know I really want to taste it.
"Oh just red wine. Sorry, I forgot you haven't drink anything like this."
I stare skeptically at my drink as I spin the glass in my hand. Then Four leans over and clinks our glasses. So no turning back, I take a slip of wine…
It's a little bit sour but not too much, it's kind of sweet after a few slips. I can't say it tastes good or I like it but not that bad I thought before.
Four finishes his drink really quick and put his empty glass to the floor at the foot of the bed. Then he grabs my left leg and puts it on his lap which causes me to swallow aside my wine and start coughing heavily.
"What are you doing?" I ask him tensely.
"You couldn't stop shake your leg, so I had to stop. Don't be nervous, Tris. It's just me."
"This is why I'm nervous."
"I make you feel this way?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.
I shrug and swallow the rest of my drink.
"Wow, take it easy," he laughs. "I don't want get you drink."
"You don't?" I ask. "Then why you give me this?" I point to the bottle.
"I just hope it's gonna be easier to kiss you."
Now I'm speechless. I just sit here ahead of him, and stare at him unbelievably. He wants to kiss me? Four, the Dauntless prodigy?
I shake my head to clear it. It has not any sense.
"I don't understand why are you even pay attention to me. I'm nothing like other Dauntless girls, and you too handsome to left eyes on a plain girl like me."
"Oh, so you think I handsome," he says with a boyish grin on his definitely handsome face. I immediately blush for his words.
"That's not the point, Four," I squeal.
"Yes, it is," he perseveres. "So, am I handsome, Tris?"
"Yeah, but… but I still don't understand why you are wanting to me be here… with you. And why you… you want to kiss… me."
"Because I have a thing for you since the first day. You seem so much different from the foolish Dauntless girls. I can't explain it, but I can see you have some fire inside you which makes you strong. Stronger than you even can imagine."
I look into his eyes and not see drunkenness or lies, he was full serious about his words. He really thinks these things about me.
"Thank you," I say shyly.
He just smiles at me and draws small circles to my ankle, whereupon I start to finally relax. Okay, maybe the alcohol helped a little bit… It's just Four. Maybe he's scary at the training room and in front of the Initiates, but he seems the opposite when we are alone. He's kind and caring yet strong, kind of sweet.
Four stops stroking me leg, but he leans over ans places his long fingers on my chin. His hand is firm but delicate. My heart races in my chest so fast my head is spinning.
He slips closer, a subtle smile plays on his lips as he leans and tilts his head before he presses his mouth to mine.
My mind goes blank when our noses touch and I have no idea what should I do. Kiss him back? He's lips feel so soft still strong on mines I can easily lost in this feeling. Though he moves away too quickly.
Our eyes meet, and I can tell he feels hurt because I didn't kiss him back. This was my first kiss after all, and God, I haven't thought I have feeling about Four before. I've never liked or even found attractive anybody in my life yet. Just Four. I can't deny he's … hot. And now I really want to kiss him.
He sighs then starts to get up but I jump from the chair, and push him back down. I'm bold which is unusual about me but I don't thought about it, just move with him, and sit on his lap.
His eyes are wide and as I place my hand to his chest I feel how fast his heart beating. Maybe he is as nervous as I am. I move my fingers up to his neck then his face. My fingertip strokes his full bottom lip.
"Tris," he tries to say something but I don't let him finish.
I put my arms around his neck to pull him closer, and kiss him firmly on the lips. I kiss him.
After a few moments he sneaks his arm to my back and hugs my waist, and kiss me back. Our lips like magnets, because I can't tear mine away his. Soon I feel the tip of his tongue as it runs along my bottom lip. I spread my lips unintentionally though his hot tongue can explore every inch of my mouth. It meets my tongue which cause a deep desire in me.
He hugs me to his chest, and I squeeze my tights to his waists but we never stop the kiss. My fingers find the hem of his shirt and sneak under it. His abs on his stomach are firm, his skin warm under my touch. I feel him shiver as my hand venture higher.
I have a strange feeling in my abdomen but I can't name it. It's caused by him and I really want to tear down his clothes. He groans and his body shakes when I move my hips closer to him. It was an involuntary movement. I didn't even want to do that. But I did and now I feel him under me. He's hard…
I have zero experience about sex but I know the basic what we learned at school. Now I know he wants me. Does he feel the same desire?
"Okay, now I'm not the only Stiff here," I laugh shyly. I see his eyes grow wider like he's afraid or something. "What?"
"How… how do you know you are not the only Stiff?" he asks like isn't obvious.
"Because I feel it."
He seems confused so I lift up my lower body again to meets his. I watch as he tries to hide a moan then his whole face becomes bright red.
Now he is not kissing my neck anymore, so I fear I did something wrong and he will kick me out, but instead I find his mouth on the crock of my neck. He sucks my skin softly, uses his tongue as well which causes me shiver head to toe.
I place my hand on his back under the shirt while he continues kissing my skin on the neck then on my collarbone. I totally can't think clearly, and I start rubbing myself to his groins. I hear as a strange voice leaves his cords which he tried to hide. My fingers find their way up on his spine, I can feel the lines of his tattoo.
"Can I see it?" I ask him in a low voice.
"What?" He is panting heavily now.
"Your tattoo. Can I?"
He just nods so I grab the hem of his black shirt and pull it up, through his head. I can't breath. His muscular chest is just in front of me, and no way I don't look at him. Black ink wiggles across his skin and Dauntless flames decorate his ribcage. Thin dark hair cover his abdomen and the middle of his chest in a small line.
I really want to see the tattoo on his back but for that I would have to leave his lap and I'm not sure I'm capable of that.
But I have an other idea. I grab his shoulders then lift myself up resting my weight on him, and I glance down his back. Almost every inch of his skin is covered by ink and I can recognize all the five faction symbols. Dauntless, Abnegation, Candor, Erudite and Amity.
"I don't understand. Why have you got all of them? Every faction..."
"Because I do think we all should live by their values. Nobody can be just brave or selfless or honest or smart or kind. People can be smart but kind as well."
It's a perfect yet dangerous thoughts. Usually people who think this way are Divergents. Is he like me? I don't know...
I lost in my mind but he brings me back to reality as he digs his nose to my right breast. I haven't got an idea that in this position my chest is in front of his face. I'm such an idiot, now my face is hot as hell.
I slowly sit back down to his lap, and look into his face, his cheeks are flushed and he seems shy. So I cup his face and kiss him gently.
The kiss soon becomes passionate as our tongues dance and our bodies press into each other. I only can think of this desire I feel.
I'm on fire. I want him. I want him so much.
I don't hesitate for a second when I finally remove my shirt as well and throw it far away. This is because of him or the wine. Definitely the wine... His glance is linked to mine but I can see how his Adam's apple bounces up and down.
Our lips find each other again and a few seconds later I feel Four's hands as they're running up on my side, then lightly touch my breasts. I sigh into our kiss as his fingers became bolder and crash to my nipples. I have to hide my face when his hands cover my chest.
His touch disappears when I moan into his neck, then he put his thumb under my chin.
"Is this good, Tris?" he whispers to my ear.
"Yeah" I heaving. "More than good."
"Good." He smirks as I finally lift up my eyes. Then he suddenly gives a peck to my mouth what just increases the lust in me.
I run down my hands to his torso, take time on his abdomen, then I reach his belt, and grab the buckle. His breath hitches in his throat as I start unbuckle his leather belt. His stare burns my skin when pull down his zipper and reveal his dark gray underwear.
The look on his face is unmistakable. He is turned on and his patience won't be take long to rips off rest of my clothes. Good, I really want him to do that even it seems strange to feel this way and is against teaching of Abnegation.
His eyes turn deep dark when I slowly slide my hand to his groin. I need to feel his want. Still through his boxer shorts I notice how hard he is. It's pulsing under my touch.
"Tris… Ahhh…" He can't control his words after I slip my fingers below the waistband of his trunks.
My hands are shaking as much as Four's body. I've never done this before and I'm not sure what I should do. My movements are clumsy as my fingers brush the tip of his member, then reach down to fondle him.
He lifts himself up and pulls off his pants with his boxer, too. I can't help but my face crimson red when I come face to face with his naked lower half. It's odd to see him in this state.
We look at each other, and his eyes full of concern and desire, but he seemly understands my hesitation because he reaches down and wraps my hand around his shaft. My heart is on my throat while he starts move my hand up and down on him.
He releases me after a few minutes but now I'm not sure I'm doing it right. My face so hot because of embarrassment but when I see his fingers cling to the blanket, and his face full of pleasure, I stroke him with more confidence.
"You girl know your stuff," he groans so I almost don't understand his words.
"It's so… it feels… really good," he admits shaking with pleasure and I can help but it makes me proud to I can do this to him.
My grip becomes firmer and I stroke him faster, his falls backward among the pillows and moans aloud. Then he starts shaking heavily and I confused if I'm doing something wrongly but he places his hang over mine again, and squeezes it hard. He groans as he climaxes. My hand and his stomach are covered by spooge but I don't really care. He seems happy even he is heaving.
Then he sits up and clears away his juice with a cloth. A smile plays on his lips before he roll us around to lays me down to the sheets and kisses me passionately. He pulls me close to him, our naked upper half meet and I gasp as I press myself to his sweaty skin.
After a few minutes of kissing, his fingers find the waistband of my sleeping short and begins to pull it down. I become more nervous and bashful. Nobody has seen me naked before and I now I'm not pretty especially in nude.
His fingers are shaking slightly as they hook under my panties and start to pull it down my tights. Then his hands on my skin below my knees and smooth the goosebumps away. My whole body is heavy with fearful excitement as his touch goes higher on my upper tights, and trembling because of the slight worry keeps hunting me.
But when his hand reach its destination, I lost all my thoughts. It's like all my nerves feel everything and a jolt of pleasure run through me.
I look into Four's eyes whom are so deep blue that seem black. His mouth is open a little bit, and he takes heavy breaths. It looks like the sight of me in this joy makes him amused.
He takes slow circles with his fingers on me, and totally am lost in that overwhelming feeling. I can't think, his early hesitant touches become firmer. This strange growing feeling starts spread through me from my abdomen and no way I can keep down my voice when every nerves in me explode.
I'm panting like I was running several miles but I can't stop smiling to him. His face looks mysterious and more handsome in the dim light of his bedside lamp.
Both of us lay on our side facing each other sharing soft kisses. I press my mouth to his collarbone and my fingers play on his abs. A soft moan lefts my throat as he finds his way back down to my core, and slips a finger inside me. I lift my leg up to his hip to give him more access but I don't stop kissing his neck. He's rubbing his hard member on my thigh.
"We should stop…" he says in a wheezy voice.
"Does it what you want?"
"No," he answers "but I think you maybe not ready to do it. I'm not sure even I'm ready."
"Wait…" I look into his deep blue eyes. "You haven't done this before?"
He just shakes his head and his cheeks look further red. So the famous Four hadn't sex before, it's surprising. I thought he had girlfriends or a few one-night stands. And now I'm here and he's close to loose his virginity with me, and he maybe not know but takes mine as well.
I should agree with him and stop, but I'm not sure I can leave him now. We both naked and are touching each other, moreover I don't worry be intimidate with him anymore. But he sounds unsure about it even his body says it otherwise.
So I fit my mouth to his and grab him again between his legs to show him I don't want to stop. I guess he got the message because he continues to kissing me and his hands return to bring pleasure to me, his fingers run through my hair.
I pull him closer to my core, when he suddenly freezes and look into my eyes like he's searching for something.
"Really sure you want this?"
"Definitely sure." I say without hesitation.
"Then..." he says as he opens his drawer and takes out a little package. I guess it's a condom but I've only seen it at a school's presentation about safe sex a few years ago.
"Thanks, Zeke," he whispers while we puts it on his stiff manhood, he's wincing as he rolls it down.
"You okay?" I ask because he seems uncomfortable.
"Yeah..." He's panting, his fingers plays with the sheet like he's not sure what to do.
I almost forgot he's just an eighteen years old boy. Even he is a Dauntless boy. I take his hand and squeeze it and send a smile to him. He returns it, and puts his mouth back on mine.
He moves over me, he gently spread my legs and nestles himself between my knees. I whine as our groins meet. His body feels hot and heavy on me like the desire warms us up.
"I like you, you know?" he says as he brushing my hair with his fingertips.
Even he didn't say he loves me, I'm happy to hear these words from his mouth. It's a huge thing because I've never thought he's capable of like somebody.
"I like you, too." I know it's true. There's something about him what enchants me. He's so unique, nothing like other boys in Dauntless or even in Abnegation. He's a person I can falling for.
We're kissing again, meanwhile hi hand begins its way down on my body. The back of his hand brushes over my clit then I feel the tip of his cock where I want him most.
A long moan escapes my lips, and I hear a similar moan from him as he pushes himself in slowly. It's so tensive I can't even breathing but suddenly a sharp pain occurs inside me, and I wince.
"You're good?" he asks with concern in his voice and stops moving.
I nod because I don't want him to stop. As he moving deeper the pain seems fading away or I just get used to it. He's scanning my face and a smile appears on his face when he moves himself an inch out then back again which cause me moan. I already forget the pain I felt.
Four relies on his elbows as he's moving with more speed. He shuts his eyes in occasions. I place my hands on his neck, my thumbs brush his cheeks.
I drive up my hips to meet his again and again, his erection slips deeper. Our moans and screams fill the room, the sheets rumple beneath us.
He increases his movement and buries his face to my neck, his lips find my skin in every minutes. I wrap my legs around his waist after he places one of his hand on my butt. I hold his head while we're kissing during our synic exercise. It's not just having sex with my instructor, it's more than that. Like we're making love. Except I'm just an Initiate not his girlfriend.
Every fibers tingle in me, I hug him tight, grab his short hair as he starts shaking and groaning while thrusting into me more faster than before. He then slows down, moves his hips for a few more times just before he pulls himself out. His body sinks down next to me. He tries to catch his breath, sweat rolls down on his face and chest. A satisfied grin comes out on his face.
"Did you…?" he asks still panting.
"No, but it's okay."
I kiss him sweetly and cuddle to his side. He pulls a blanket over us, next he wraps his arms around me, and places a longing peck to the top of my head.
Even I didn't reach my finish, I still enjoyed every moments and now I feel as I'm whole or I don't know. It's a unusual feeling, like satisfaction and being desired.
It's like something incredible happened to me. And I'm sure it did. I'm not the same person I was a few hours ago. In his arms I no longer feel as a weak Abnegation girl but a strong Dauntless young woman.
AN: Sorry if I made any mistakes (I'm sure I did a lot), English isn't my native language, but I tried my best to write something good. Oh and this is my first M rated fanfiction, I've never written anything like this.
So I hope you like it, please follow or favorite but I'd be happy if you leave a review, I'd like to know you are satisfied with my story. And I'll post more chapters to this story but keep it short.
Thank you everybody who read it!