Darn Computer! By Siren

Just wrote this when I was tired and my computer was acting up. WARNING: Bizarreness ahead. I have a little computer trouble, and everything goes downhill from there. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Smacking her computer for the fifth time that evening, Siren cursed loudly. "Stupid computer! Stupid AOL! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" she shouted. Merry and Pippin looked up from their spot on the ground, their attention momentarily drawn away from the show 'COPS'. "Something wrong?" Siren only kicked her desk in response. Merry nodded. "Something's wrong." "Ugh! Every time my computer acts up, I have to turn it off for the rest of the night. But not this time. No, this time I refuse to relent. This computer has met its match!" She laughed evilly, scaring the poor Hobbits somewhat.

"What's going on in here?" Legolas peeked inside the room to find two very frightened Hobbits, and an insane authoress. Merry and Pippin quickly scrambled behind the Elf, and pointed at the raving red-head. "She's gone insane!" Stopping her assault on the computer for a moment, she frowned at him. "I was always insane," she pouted. Legolas shrugged at looked at the Hobbits. "It's true. She was always a nut-case," he said, calmly dodging a boot that was thrown at him.

"Okay now little machine, you will work. I, Siren, command you to work and stop kicking me off line," she whispered angrily. She tried to sign on again, only to be kicked off. A stream of curses left her mouth as she stood up and glared at the computer. Legolas leaned against the wall, amusement dancing in his eyes. "This is it boys, Girl VS Machine." Siren pointed at the uncooperative machine, fire blazing in her eyes. "I've warned you one too many times, computer. You've kicked me off for the last time. You know what I'm going to do? Do you?" She picked up her phone and shook it. "I'm calling customer service!"

Aragorn stepped inside the room. "Computer trouble?" Legolas nodded. Siren punched in the numbers angrily, and listened as the phone rang. "Hello, customer service, Susan speaking. How may I help you?" Siren growled into the phone. "My computer is being an ass! It keeps kicking me off line!" "Well, have you tried restarting your computer?" Siren clenched her fists. "No, I refuse to relent to the computer's wishes! For years I have tended to its every whim! I turned it off before going to bed; I always made sure there were no viruses and bought the latest upgrades. I will not give in again!"

"Siren, maybe you should just listen to the nice woman," Legolas suggested softly. "Shut up Legolas!" She heard Susan gasp on the other end of the phone. "Did you just say 'Legolas'?" Siren huffed. "Yeah. So?" "He's a fictional character." Siren growled again, growing impatient. "Your point being?" "Miss, I think you need help in an area other than computers." With that, Siren heard a 'click' as Susan hung up. She stared at the phone for a moment and blinked. "She hung up on me."

Legolas smirked. "It wouldn't be the first time." He ducked as the other boot flew past his head. Grumbling, she turned back to the computer. "Stupid computer," she growled and turned it off.