Title: Xander the Sperm Donor (4/?)

Author: Cyclone

Feedback: Please be gentle.

Distribution: Gimme credit and a link.

Rating: Definitely R, probably NC-17 later on.

Spoilers: Up to The Gift. Everything afterwards will be ignored.

Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to the almighty Joss. I'm just borrowing them for a while.

Summary: Tara and Willow want a baby, and they know exactly who they want the father to be. Too bad they neglected to inform him...

Author's Note: Contains W/T, W/X, T/X, and mature situations. Reader discretion is advised. Also, quite a bit of angst crept into this part while I wasn't looking. I've been trying to excise it -- hence why it took so long to update this -- but I finally gave up. Much thanks to Pete Meilinger for his assistance.

* * *

Dawn looked at the clock and frowned. Didn't Xander have work today?

The goof was probably oversleeping again. She shook her head and smiled. *I swear,* she thought with amusement, *just _who_ is supposed to be the adult in this house?*

"Hey, Xander," she called as she swung his door open and stuck her head in. "You're gonna be..." she trailed off and froze.

Xander was, indeed, still in bed.

But he wasn't alone.

Slamming the door closed and leaning against it, she hyperventilated. "I _so_ did not see that. That did _not_ happen! Tara and Willow would _never_ have an orgy with Xander."

She paused and thought about that for a moment.

"Okay, _Tara_ would never have an orgy with Xander."

She paused and thought about it a bit longer.

"Okay, Tara _probably_ would never have an orgy with Xander."

Thus convinced, she walked confidently toward the front door. Xander was always oversleeping, and maybe he'd learn to get up on his own if she let him be late for once. That's why she decided to head to school on foot.

It _certainly_ wasn't because of any doubt she had that she'd imagined seeing Tara and Willow in bed with Xander. No way. Nuh uh. Not one bit.

* * *

"So, we're telling him?" Tara asked for the third time.

"Yeah," Willow nodded, also for the third. "We'll tell him, and I'll get what I dreamed of for years."

"You don't have to look so happy about it," Tara said sourly. She did nothing to hide her jealousy, though a small voice in her head wondered just who exactly she was jealous of. She _had_ been rather curious about straight sex, and there was no denying that Xander was a great kisser...

She steadfastly ignored that voice.

"I'm sorry, sweetie," Willow said, a flicker of dismay crossing her face, but even that couldn't last against the realization that she was _this_ close to her life-long fantasy, "but I've been dreaming about him for _years_. First loves never die, Tara, and this will give me some closure."

Willow raised her hand to knock, but the door opened from within before her knuckles struck the door. The redhead smiled, "Hey, Dawnie. Is Xander up yet?"

The Key-made-flesh blinked twice and mumbled in relief, "Oh, so I _did_ imagine it."

"Imagine what?"

"Uh, well, I, uh... Xander's still asleep. I was just about to head to class. Gottagonow,bye!" Dawn said hurriedly, then dashed to the sidewalk and raced toward the school.

They heard Xander's voice emerge from within, "I'm telling you, I don't know _what's_ going on, but you two are both acting really weird today." He stepped out... and froze.

He turned and looked into the hall behind him, where Tara and Willow saw... exact duplicates of themselves walking out from behind him.

Xander summed up the situation rather well.

"Oh, boy."

* * *

"I cannot believe you would still be so _careless_!" Giles said, shaking his head in disappointment. "Didn't you learn _anything_ from that Valentine's disaster?"

"Hey, G-man, I thought that spell had come back or something, and I couldn't find anything else that might work."

"Why ever would you think something like _that_?" the Watcher frowned. "We cast the counterspell."

Xander rolled his eyes, "'Cause for the past couple of weeks, Wills and Tare here were doing their level best to get me in the sack."

Giles turned to face the witches, merely raising a questioning eyebrow. Well, the two witches who were _supposed_ to be in this world, that is, as opposed to the two who hailed from parallel timelines.

They blushed and looked away, exchanging furtive glances.

"Well?" the older man prompted.

"We want a baby," Willow blurted out.

Tara nodded, "And w-we w-want Xander t-to be the father."

Giles rubbed his temples. He could feel a headache approaching rather rapidly. He pulled off his glasses and proceeded to polish them needlessly.

Xander _stared_ at them.

The other Willow shook her head and asked, "And it didn't occur to you to just _ask_ him?"

"Uh, well..."

"And now we're stuck here." The other Tara sighed, "I miss my husband already."

"'Husband'?" the two local witches demanded in stereo.

She scowled and held up her hand. The golden wedding band that graced her finger glittered. "Yes. Husband."

"Who's the lucky guy?" Xander asked, his curiousity piqued.

She smiled at him and looped her arms around his neck, "Why... you are, sweetie."

"Hey," the other Willow scowled, interposing herself between them, "you're not the only Mrs. Harris here."

"She's not?" Xander squeaked.

"Xander," Giles heaved a sigh and donned his glasses again, "need I remind you that they're here because you cast a love-related spell and targeted them? How can you honestly be surprised at this?"

"Very easily," the younger man replied succinctly, an edge of panic in his voice.

"Well, it's fortunate for you that I have been able to locate a counterspell." Xander perked up, but Giles glared at him and added, "_However_, it's in a rather obscure dialect of Sumerian. It will take me some time to translate it." He glanced at the alternate Willow and Tara, "And please, try to refrain from attacking each other."

That said, the Watcher retreated into the training room behind the Magic Box.

The local witches stayed back. They could feel the animosity radiating from their counterparts.

And frankly, it worried them. What could make them hate each other that much? It couldn't just be over Xander... could it?

"So," Willow Harris said, eyeing Tara Harris, "I thought you worked the other side of the fence."

"Xander's an exception," the other witch replied acidly, "and I'm not going to let you hurt him again."

"'Hurt him'?" the redhead repeated incredulously. "Me hurt Xander? Are you out of your mind?"

"All you ever _do_ is hurt him," she shot back. "You were the most important person in his life, and you shot him down again and again. You called out another man's name when he told you he loved you; you dropped him like a hot potato when you had a chance together; you barely even acknowledged he _existed_ when you went off to college! And why? All for a two-timing _werewolf_! Do you know how often he's cried himself to sleep because of you?"

"Hey! Tara!" Xander tried in vain to intervene.

"How dare you," Willow Harris said softly, her voice ragged. "How _dare_ you bring Oz into this. I chose Xander after the Fluke, after Oz told me the _truth_ about that night. I didn't know it was him in the hospital, and Xander knows that. Besides, I'm not the only one who broke hearts in our past." Her voice dropped, and her eyes narrowed, "And that past is why, in the end, he'll never love you as much as he loves me."

"Okay, that's it!" Xander said, this time physically stepping between them. Glaring at them, he said, "I've had enough of this. You wanna kill each other? Fine. But I'm gonna be elsewhere."

Without another word, he walked out.

* * *

Xander blew out a sigh. That had been _too_ much.

And Tara's -- the other Tara's -- little speech had hit uncomfortably close to home.

*A world where I'm married to Willow. Another world where I'm married to Tara.* He thought about that and decided he liked the idea -- both of them, as illegal as that was.

He didn't know when he'd fallen in love with Willow. He just couldn't remember. As for Tara... no, he wasn't in love with her, not yet. He'd be lying if he said he was, but he did love her, and he definitely appreciated her beauty. And... he had a strong suspicion he was in the process of falling in love with her. Therein lay a major part of the problem.

How could one man be in love with two women at once? Worse, how could he have the gall to love two women who loved each other and were happy together?

More than that, how could he father their child and survive the emotional aftermath? And on the other hand... how could he deny them anything, even that?

* * *

Author's Postscript:

Sorry about the delay, folks. Also, I would have gone on longer, but then I noticed that this was a decent cut-off point, and it was already about the same length as previous parts.