Hello Merlin fans.

Yep its me again with another story. Even though I have a few Doctor Who stories coming out, I still do have ideas for Merlin fics. Mainly because I tried to turn the Doctor Who fics into Merlin fics. And this is one of them.

For anyone who is reading War Crimes, this is kinda the Merlin version of that story. I hope you like it.

Please note, I don't own any of the lyrics used.


Yeah, whoa, c'est la vie
Maybe something's wrong with me
But, hey, at least I am free, oh, oh, I am free
Free by Rudimental ft. Emeli Sande

She knew that he was strong. The things that he had survived showed that. Maybe she understood more now why he did survive them. She had already screamed to the Triple Goddess to why she didn't know but he wasn't going to find out that. He was her main priority at the moment.

Because he wasn't as strong as she thought he was. But then she didn't know what he had been through. It saddened her. She would have preferred him by Arthur's side, thwarting her plans rather than him sitting on the edge of her bed, in her hovel, with his head in his hands.

Morgana drew up all her strength and walked over to sit next to him. She wanted to rub his back to comfort him but knew it would only cause him pain. There was very little she could do to comfort him.

Merlin turned to look at her "I wanted to tell you." His eyes were filled with tears.

"It's alright. It's in the past."

"I made you feel like you were alone. I made you feel like no one cared for you. I turned you into what you became."

"Uther had more of an influence. Look you been through a lot ..."

"Still doesn't make up what I did to you."

She raised her arm up around his neck and pulled him to her. He allowed himself to be pulled into her embrace and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his head underneath her chin. They had their problems but it was something to sort out later. They had all the time in the world. It wasn't like he would be going back to Camelot any time soon.

She pulled back and gave him a smile. "You must be tired and hungry."

She knew he was strong but it broke her heart to see him just nod at her suggestion. This wasn't the Merlin she knew. He had no fight, no purpose. His blue eyes use to light up but now they seemed like she was looking into a deep lake, never seeing the bottom of it.

She didn't know what had happened to him but whatever it was, he didn't deserve it. He may have poisoned her and stopped every plan she ever had, but he didn't deserve the treatment he got.

She watched him as he slept. He had argued that he shouldn't take up the only bed in her hovel but she had used the 'you are injured and have been through a lot' card. He seemed to let her win, whether it was because he realised she was right or he just didn't want to argue with her any more, she didn't know. She was just glad that he had taken the bed in the end.

Morgana cursed herself but she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. She knew that it was the last thing he would expect from her but it was how she felt.

His magic had shocked her. She had replayed all the moments they shared together to try and work out when he could have told her and realistically, there wasn't really a good time. Maybe when Mordred turned up but that would be the only time.

She had thought about when she found her magic. She thought that he could have told her then. But then she realised it would have been too dangerous. She was scared and who knew what she would have done if he had told her. She may have blamed him instead of finding out about her own magic.

Morgana turned away from him and sat down by the fire. She had heard about the man he had been with. The Sarrum was a man known for his ruthlessness against magic. The evidence of it was lying in her bed right now. The man was widely known in the magical community and he was on Morgana's list of people that needed to be removed from power. He was low down on her list but he was surely going to climb up it now.

Morgana allowed herself to smile as the little white dragon pranced around Merlin, making him smile. It gave her hope that everything could get better from now. She walked over and sat down on the log he was leaning against.

"There has been one thing that I have been wondering."


"How did you land in the Sarrum's clutches? What went wrong?" She asked. She turned to him.

"I knew that there was always a chance that my magic would be found out. I had always hoped that I would be able to tell them. It isn't something I could help."

"I know."

"No. I was born with magic for a purpose." He spat. He sighed. "Sorry. Maybe you would understand."

"Maybe I would but then again maybe I wouldn't."

"I am sure you have felt light a monster. I am sure you haven't understood yourself. I am sure you have asked yourself, why me. I am sure you have felt like an outsider when you are surrounded by friends."

Morgana turned her gaze to the forest floor. She had felt all those things but that was before she had been taken off by her sister and she understood her magic.

"I knew that there was always a chance that Arthur wouldn't accept my magic. I had always hoped that he would see through it and just see me … well as his best friend. The way he would always talk about you and your magic made me thing that. The way he always wanted to help you to see that … you didn't have to go against him.

"He did once accept magic." Tears spilled from Merlin's eyes. "It was great to see and to hear. I thought he could be the man that destiny talked about. The man to unite Albion. I stopped that to stop him from killing Uther. It didn't hurt that he found out the way he did. It hurt that he never asked me or let me explain properly."