Hello, dear readers. To those that have read some of my other stories: I know, I know. By now I should have learned my lesson. I shouldn't start any new stories until finish my other ones. But I just couldn't stop myself.
I was reading 'Sesshomaru's Pup' by mndlrn and it inspired me.
Anyway, I noticed that there aren't many self-inserts for this fandom, so I decided to write one.
If you have some questions or anything like that you're welcome to ask.
Rating for this chapter: T
Summary: Misplaced in a world I did not belong to, in a body that should have never been mine, I could only wait for the world to finally stop turning. Self-insert as Sesshomaru's daughter.
Till The World Stops Turning
How to Save a Life
Where A Soul Was Misplaced
"To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others."
― Albert Camus
"If you're really a mean person you're going to come back as a fly and eat poop."
― Kurt Cobain
I remember the cold. The frost biting my skin. My toes and fingers freezing, till nothing but numbness was left. I could only guess that they were changing into a lovely blue color, fitting perfectly with my soaked, navy winter jacket. Damp tresses of my dark hair clung to my face and were splayed on the ground underneath me.
I could hear someone screaming my name, but it seemed to come from very far away. Deep down I knew better. After all, I could feel the person at my side. My best friend, Alicia, was putting pressure on the deep wound located on my abdomen. Her hands were shaking badly and she looked pale. Almost as pale as I was.
I knew that the blood loss was clouding my perception. Everything seemed hazy, the world momentarily blurred into thousand colors. My hearing wasn't any better, only muffled sounds reached my ears. And then there was the taste, that coppery taste of blood on my tongue. I tried to get rid of it, but nothing seemed to work.
Panting breaths escaped my lips, visible in the form of white puffs in the cold air. I couldn't breathe. No matter how hard I tried, the oxygen just did not want to enter my lungs.
But the worst of all was the pain. It was everywhere, it almost seemed as if my failing heart was carrying it into every inch of my body. The worst being my abdominal region and my chest. Sadly, it wasn't the horrible pain that scared me the most. No, what scared me the most was the fact that this unbearable pain was fading.
I was fading.
That realization struck me like a lightning bolt. I was dying and there was nothing I could do against it.
Alicia knew this as well, I saw it plainly written on her face. The agony, the despair and above all else the guilt. I did not blame her for what happened. But had she made another choice, had she listened to me, then we wouldn't have been in this situation.
At the end this knowledge did not stop me from taking the two bullets for her.
Alicia and I, we knew each other since we were toddlers. She was like a sister to me, thus I had no problem with dying for her.
Yet that did not change the fact that I wanted to live. I was only fifteen. I haven't even seen the slightest of what the world had to offer.
I did not want to die.
Outside of the alley we were occupying, I could here the siren of an ambulance. Help was coming. No matter how futile their presence would be for me, I was still happy that someone would take care of Alicia. She would really need it.
I would like to say that what I was going through was worse than what was awaiting Alicia. However, I knew that it would be a lie. After all, my reason for saving her wasn't my overly good heart, no, it was my selfishness. I had always been a selfish person, thus I rather had her living in guilt over my death than the other way around.
I had it easy. I would die knowing that I saved her life, Alicia would live with the knowledge that she caused my death.
Forcing my eyes to open one last time, I looked up the starry night sky.
I couldn't help the small smile that graced my lips.
When I was younger my family once decided that it would be a good idea to go swimming. My mother invited Alicia to go with us and I was ecstatic because of that. I never even considered the fact that I couldn't swim. I just knew that I had heard many people talking about how much fun they had when they went to the beach. I immediately assumed that I would have just as much fun.
That day did not end well.
First: We did not go to the beach. Second: I almost drowned.
We were searching for a place where we could settle down. Together with Alicia I was walking dangerously near a deep swimming pool. And in the most cliche of ways I slipped and fell into the water.
The shock that went through me upon contact with the freezing liquid was nothing compared to the panic that filled me the moment I realized that I couldn't breathe. I tried to reach out for help but the water hindered my movement.
I screamed. Which was quiet the stupid thing to do, it only allowed more water to enter my lungs.
Naturally, I was saved. My mother jumped into the water right after me. I didn't remember much more about that day, only that by some miracle I had survived.
I never wanted to feel as helpless as I felt in that water again. And so I became a member of a swimming club.
However, that did not help me with my current situation. Because I once again couldn't breathe. I once again felt that unbearable cold around me, caressing my skin like a lovers touch.
And oh my god, I couldn't breathe. No matter how hard I tried my lungs just wouldn't expand.
I was freezing. So very cold.
My vision blurry and unfocused.
The air just wouldn't enter my lungs.
What was happening to me?
Something struck my behind. An infants wailing. My lungs expanded and I took a large intake of air.
Moments later my previous problem seemed to become meaningless as a new one resurfaced. While I still couldn't see, I could smell everything. The strong stench of blood was heavy in the air. There was the smell of sweat and some other unknown substances. I felt like throwing up. My cheeks which had been already tear stained, started to warm up in my panic. More and more tears leaked out of my eyes.
What was going on? Where was I? Was this the punishment for my selfishness?
But above all else, why the hell wasn't I dead?
I couldn't even begin to understand what was going on. But there was one thing that I knew; Someone was holding me. Someone very large and unknown was holding me.
There was a flash of white and gold. Whatever it was, somehow, against all reason, I knew that I was safe.
My eyes strained to stay open. I was tired, so very tired. My crying ceased, my throat too raw to continued.
I fell asleep in a strangers arms, hoping against all odds that I wouldn't wake up again.