Over my Head By Siren

Hey guys, my little sis came up with the plot. I don't own Buffy, Spike, or 'Over my head' by Lit. Takes place after 'Something Blue'. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm in over my head

They tried to build me up

So they can tear me down

I wish I could be back there

But I'm writing here right now



Spike lay wide-awake in his crypt, desperately trying to push the memory of Buffy's lips away. He had held the slayer, his mortal enemy in his arms. He had kissed her hungrily, his heart warming with love for her. It had been centuries since he had felt the emotion called love. Sure he had lusted after many women, both mortal and vampire. He thought he had known what love was when Drusilla turned him, but now he wasn't so sure. The spell had been broken, so why did he still think of her? Why did his arms feel empty without her?

She hated him, and before last night he had hated her too. He used to fantasize about killing her, about her lifeless body in his arms. But now the very thought horrified him. Buffy was his complete opposite in almost every way. She hated vampires; he hated slayers. She tried to save humanity; he wanted to drink them dry. The only thing they had in common was deeply rooted hatred. His hatred for her had gone beyond the fact that she was born to kill him. It was her attitude, the way she carried herself with such confidence.

It was the fact that she had friends that made his life more difficult. It was the way she wore her heart on her sleeve for everyone to see. He smiled bitterly. It was her innocence. She was so young, and yet she knew what lurked in the shadows. She carried the weight of the world on her small shoulders, and yet she pressed onward. She had taunted him today, exposing her neck to him. She had no idea how much he wanted to tear into her veins and feel her warm blood coursing through his veins. He was drawn to her, he knew it. The fire in her eyes burned fiercely, and he craved it. He craved her.

They've taken everything I've had to give and

They say it's over but man I'm still here livin'

I don't know what to do, I think that maybe

Buffy was just as restless. Sitting on her bed, she studied the ring Angel gave her. It was a sign of his love for her, and she cherished it dearly. She thought that after meeting Angel, she would never love anyone else. But today Spike had held her in his arms. He had kissed her and protected her. Before today, she thought of him as nothing more than an animal. But today he had shown her such humanity that she wasn't so sure anymore. He had numerous opportunities to kill her, but all he showed her was love.

She was taught that vampires couldn't love without a soul. That they were heartless demons with no other desire than to kill. But his eyes had shown such love for her. She loved Angel. She always would. But when Spike was kissing her, all thoughts of her previous love and his feelings for him were swept away. Being without Angel didn't seem to hurt as much. Being the slayer didn't seem to hurt as much. Spike's love was like a drug to her. It empowered her, made her feel as though she could take on the armies of hell if she had to.

Angel had made her feel safe and protected, but Spike's love was different. It went deeper than just a feeling of security. It made her feel alive, which was something she hadn't really felt in a long time. Ever since she became a slayer, she felt as though a part of her had died. She no longer felt any real ties to the world. She always felt so alone, knowing that no one could understand the desperation she felt. But then Willow performed the spell, and she wasn't alone anymore. Spike was searching for understanding too, and he had found her.

I'm in over my head

Stuck in the red

Something they said

Makes me think that

I'm in over my head

Over my head

Over my head

The spell had been broken hours ago, and yet the longing to be held by him remained. His clear blue eyes held the understanding that she had been craving since the day she found out she was a slayer. She didn't understand why she felt so strongly for him, but the feelings were there. Not realizing what she was doing, she pushed open her window and snuck out of the house. Her legs moved of their own accord, but she knew where she was headed. She needed to see him again. She needed to know that she wasn't alone in this world she was destined to protect.

Spike paced in his crypt, a frown pulling at his lips. He kept repeating the facts over and over in his mind, but it changed nothing. He was a vampire, she was a slayer. They were destined to hate each other, but he could find no hate for her anymore. Her face flashed in his mind, and he shut his eyes tightly. When Willow had broken the spell, they realized what they had done. Buffy's hazel eyes quickly filled with disgust, and she wiped her mouth furiously.

Spike quickly covered any obvious pain in his eyes, and put on a mask of disgust as well. The last thing he needed was for her to know how he felt. That his love for her was real, despite the spell. But she was disgusted with him. Only one emotion was clear in her eyes: hate. She hated him and always would. He didn't understand why he tormented himself with thoughts of her.

Buffy stopped in front of his crypt. The stone building was yet another reminder of what he really was and would always be. He was a demon, and it was her duty to kill him. But no matter what, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She could never kill him. She moved to knock on the door, but her feet remained planted to the ground. She didn't know what to do. She knew that he hated her and loathed her very essence. She shook her head, her blonde hair falling in front of her eyes. "What am I doing here?" she asked herself quietly. Turning to leave, she heard the door to the crypt open.

I've got to get away from here

And it couldn't be too soon

'Cause I see the stars are here with me

Like rockets to the moon

"Slayer?" Spike was shocked to say the least, at what he saw. Buffy was standing at his doorstep, her back tense at the sound of her name. When she didn't turn around, he began to worry. "Buffy?" Relenting, she finally turned around, and he felt his breath catch in his throat. She was beautiful. Her blonde hair rested gently on her shoulders, her hazel eyes bright in the darkness of the night. She opened her mouth to say something, but the words wouldn't come.

Locking her eyes with his, she felt her heart leap into her throat. He was amazing. His blue eyes, the eyes she could get lost in, studied her worriedly. "I need to talk to you," she finally forced out. Spike cocked an eyebrow, and his eyes filled with suspicion. "You need to talk to me." Buffy nodded. Spike sighed and stepped aside, gesturing for her to come in. Looking around, she stepped inside. For a crypt, it looked pretty cozy. Spike had taste, that was certain. "So, what do you want to talk about?" Buffy fidgeted nervously, unsure of what to say or how to say it. So many things entered her mind. 'I need you.' 'You make me feel alive.' 'I love you.' She wanted to say all of these, but they wouldn't leave her mouth. Spike watched the emotions play across her face. She hesitated before looking at him. "It's about today." Spike was sure that if he weren't dead, the color would've drained from his face.

You take me everywhere I've ever been and

Show me the meaning of what life had to give and

I don't know what to say, I think that maybe

Buffy saw Spike's eyes widen a bit. He coughed and looked away, causing her hopes to fall. He was disgusted with her, she knew it. "I know that I disgust you," she said quietly. This caused him to look at her in surprise. He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. "I know that you hate me. And you should. I'm a vampire slayer, which is only one of the many reasons you loathe me. And I know that I should hate you. I was born to kill you. But I don't hate you and I don't want to kill you." Relief pooled into his eyes, but she didn't notice.

"When Willow did the spell, I loved you. And when the spell made you love me, you made me feel alive. Ever since I became the slayer, I lost a part of myself. Being with you made me feel complete again. Than Willow broke the spell, and I lost myself again. You looked at me the way you always did. You were disgusted. I kept waiting for the hate to come back, but it didn't. I'm still in love with you. And it's not because of the spell. It's because you made me feel alive. Like I could do anything."

She stepped toward him. "I love you," she whispered. Spike looked down at her in shock. He didn't know what to say. Smirking, he cupped her face gently. "You stupid bint. You don't disgust me. You are astounding. You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, and yet you stand tall when others give up. You are love in its purest form. You can't disgust me. I'm in love with you."

Emotions swelled inside her, and she felt tears brimming in her eyes. She gasped when she felt gentle fingers brushing her tears away. She looked up to see Spike looking down at her. Bending down a bit, he kissed her. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him closer, pressing her body to his. She smiled as the feeling of being alive returned. Spike wrapped his arms around her, intensifying the kiss. He loved her. Completely and utterly.

I'm in over my head

Stuck in the red

Something they said

Makes me think that

I'm in over my head

Over my head

Over my head

. . . The End