Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2. This fic is NOT for children I'm sorry. If your child reads this it is not my fault, and it is not FanFiction.Net's fault, you're just going to have to deal with that. I've left warnings! Warnings I say! Your child is just as sick as I am! Shame! Shame!

My third fic (to be put up on FF.NET) I'm still inexperienced but I here's the low down. I figured I'd make a lemon (just so . . . y'know, their there for people of that persuasion). I don't revel in lemons, this'd be the first one I've ever written (It's like being a virgin) and I'm definitely not sure about posting it because of the kids, I just KNOW some kid is gonna read this and then their parent(s) are gonna be all over me. One last bloody time, any kids scram! I said SCRAM!
Grimm: Like kids don't write most of the lemons in the world anyway . . .
Ranma: Well I bet if there were no lemons in the world there would BE no Tenchi fics!
Tenchi: Wwaahh! Don't make me sick my bitch pack on you!
A/N: Yo! FYI this is a lemon. I know! I know! Hack cough kill me now kill me now. Anyway I'm only doing this because I want to experiment with writing every type of fic (Songfic, humor, angst, lemon, horror etc.) so I figured I'd do this and see how it went. That, and I think this is the only lemon for this pairing. That just aint right, lets fix that up. I'm probably gonna get in trouble for this . . .
Ranma 1/2
Cold Weather & Hot Water!
Grimm: I know its annoying by now but for the love of god NO KIDS!

Ryoga trudged through the cold snow, his limbs frozen he had no idea where he was. Every inn or motel was closed and every hobo had taken up temporary residence in every phone booth. Not that those were very warm either.
Ryoga knew the area looked slightly familiar, but he couldn't really recall where he was, thus he couldn't make the right turns and such to get to where ever it was he was trying to go.
He had no heavy coat, and his umbrella was all that kept the cold snow from landing on the areas of his body unprotected by clothing, it was better than nothing, and anyway his arms were to frozen to put it away.
"I've got to figure out where I am." He mumbled to himself through his blue lips.
"Ryoga?" He heard a familiar voice asked.
He turned around, and saw Akane Tendo's older sister Nabiki! "N-N-Nabiki." He said through chattering teeth. "H-h-hello."
She was on the other side of the street, but she didn't seem opposed to running across it (there were no cars anyway) and coming over to him. She was holding several bags. "Are you nuts? Wondering around in the snow with no jacket?"
"W-w-winter s-s-snu-snuck up on m-me." Ryoga said.
Nabiki smiled sweetly. "I have a jacket here, just bought it. It's a ladies jacket but . . ."
"Better th-thhh-than n-nothing!" Ryoga cried reaching for it, but Nabiki moved the bag away from the frozen Ryoga. "H-hey!"
"You want? A bargain for three thousand yen."
"H-heartless w-w-woman." Ryoga coughed. "I c-cant m-move my arms t-t-to my w-wallet."
"No need, I've done that for you." Nabiki said. "Oh, you poor thing your dead broke."
"I h-had f-f-five th-thousand yen!" Ryoga protested.
"Did you?" Nabiki asked, putting the coat over his shoulders. "Well some times we spend money and forget. Christmas season y'know?"
"A-and w-who did you sh-shop for?" Ryoga asked, feeling only a little better with the overpriced coat.
"Lets see . . . there's one from me to me, I took care of Nabiki, and I got something for my best friend-Nabiki!" Nabiki said cheerfully.
"C-cold! M-must keep m-moving." Ryoga said.
"I have a hand warmer." Nabiki said calmly. "Let you rent it for five hundred yen?"
"R-rent? Y-you took all m-my money." Ryoga protested. "I'm b-broke and y-y-you know it-t-t-t"
"Don't let your teeth chatter, your going to ware them down to nothingness. Well, anyway I'm off, bye Ryoga."
"W-wait!" Ryoga pleaded. "C-cant I c-come over t-to your place f-for a few minutes?"
Nabiki frowned. "Well Akane and Ranma aren't around, it wouldn't be proper for you to visit while both your little friends are gone."
"D-don't t-t-talk to me l-like I'm a k-kid! I'm only a y-year younger th-than y-you!" Ryoga said. "I j-just w-want to get w-warm." He said. "S-so c-c-cold."
Nabiki smiled warmly. "Well okay, but only for five hundred yen."
"I s-s-said I'm b-broke!" Ryoga cried.
"You've got money on you, I can smell it."
"F-f-for th-the l-l-l-last of my m-m-money I b-better at least g-get sh-shower access."
"No worries there, I'd have thrown that in for free anyway because man do you need one." Nabiki said with a friendly smile.
Ryoga coughed as he (with a degree of difficulty) moved his frozen right hand to his bandana and removed his secret five hundred-yen stash. He handed it to Nabiki and practically spat the word "S-s-succubus."
"You coming on to me Ryoga?" Nabiki questioned with a friendly laugh. "Okay, c'mon, follow me close unless you wanna get lost."
"Th-this way?" Ryoga asked.
"Uh, no this way. The way I'm walking. Why are you going that way?"
Inside the-warm-Tendo home Ryoga practically fell on his face near the dinner table.
"Comfy? For heaven's sake get up." Nabiki said.
"Itired." Ryoga mumbled.
"Oh sure, just lay there then, no worries mate I'll just carry all these bags myself."
"Yousogenerous." Ryoga groaned.
"You should at least take that bath we were talking about! C'mon!" Nabiki said. "Don't just lie there!"
"Idienowthankyou." Ryoga grumbled, now it was more of a game.
"I'm serious, your gonna catch a cold." Nabiki said sounding uncharacteristically concerned. "Or freeze to death, and then I have to explain why I brought you here to die."
"Okaymommy." Ryoga sighed and struggled to his feet. He tried to get to the bathroom but his half-conscious state mingled with his lack of a sense of direction led him straight into a closet.
"For the love of all things sacred! Get out a there!" Nabiki cried. She pulled him out of the closet and dragged him by the collar of his shirt to the bathroom. She turned on the hot water and left Ryoga there. "I hope you can undress yourself cause I'm not going THAT far!" She said.
Ryoga came out to the common room a few minutes later, warmed up and feeling much better.
"Kasumi had to go to the store for something-dinner is delayed. Oh Ryoga, I thought you were my father."
"And less than an hour ago you were calling me a kid." Ryoga grinned weakly.
It took a moment for Nabiki to figure out what he was talking about, but when she got it she smiled weakly. "You have a sad sense of humor Hibiki."
"You know our names kinda rhyme. I mean my last and your first." Ryoga observed.
"Not really . . ." Nabiki shrugged. She yawned and looked around. "Feeling better?"
"Idienowthankyou." Ryoga smiled.
Nabiki threw a seat cushion at him. "And here I thought you were delirious!"
Ryoga sat down on the floor on the opposite side of the table. "What was that about Kasumi?" He asked.
"Oh, yeah. Mr. Saotome and my dad are out doing . . . whatever old men do. Akane is at a skating practice (Ryoga shuddered at memories of the Charlotte cup) Ranma is off doing . . . whatever it is transforming boy-girls do and Kasumi went to the store to buy cooking lard."
"Ohh . . ." Ryoga frowned.
"So . . . you want something to drink?" Nabiki asked.
"How much for hot water?" Ryoga asked, still feeling a little cold.
"Hotel arrangements. I'll send you a bill." Nabiki said with a wink.

Nabiki walked into the kitchen. She wasn't quite the cook Kasumi was, but she could heat water. She rummaged through the cupboards and found some hot chocolate. "Hey! I didn't know we had any of this!" She said cheerfully.
"Hottie-Chocolate. Interesting brandname. Well what the hell?" Nabiki said to herself.
The one thing she missed was the warning label on the bottom of the can.
"WARNING: Hottie-Chocolate contains several very powerful aphrodisiacs and though it may cause temporary insanity with humans it is useful for breeding elephants or other large creatures-may cause unexpected fertility in human females, do not mix with alcohol. Now with a lemony twist!"

Ryoga forced a friendly smile when Nabiki got back. Secretly he grudged her the extra two thousand-yen he was missing but being out of the cold he was too grateful to bring it up.
"Here." She said simply, passing him a mug of hot chocolate.
"Wow, I haven't had hot chocolate in a long time!" Ryoga said.
"Me neither. I was surprised we had any, to be honest." Nabiki said.
Ryoga stared at her for a moment, trying to see if her face would reveal any secret poisons or some such. Nothing. At the same instant they both gulped down their drinks. ZING! They both smiled for a split second, then they both fainted.

Ryoga woke up feeling slightly groggy. Across from him Nabiki was rubbing her head. "This stuff must be older than granddad." She coughed.
Ryoga didn't want to admit that he'd sorta liked it. Apart from the whole fainting thing that is. It was so full of chocolate, it was so good!
"So (cough) wanna see who can drink the most before conking out again?" He asked.
"Shut up." Nabiki groaned. She got up and took his mug. "We'd better get rid of this stuff, we'll end up with food poisoning or something."
"Can you get food poisoning from hot chocolate?" Ryoga asked.
"I'm not taking any chances." Nabiki said, walking towards the door, she poured the substance on the ground (it burned through the snow and dirt, but Ryoga didn't see it)
Ryoga noticed, as if for the first time just how short Nabiki's shorts actually were. 'Slutty . . . but in a very pleasant way.' Ryoga thought. 'What the . . . what was that? What did I just . . . hey her breasts show really well through that shirt!' he thought with a longing sigh. "Man she's busty." He said without thinking about it.
"What was that?" Nabiki snapped.
"Mm?" Ryoga frowned. He wasn't sure what she was talking about. His head was starting to hurt.
"You just said something!" Nabiki said.
"Oh, I asked if you could get poison from drinking hot chocolate." Ryoga sighed, taking into full account how sexy Nabiki looked even though her face was an angry one.
Nabiki came over to him, and lied down on the ground for a moment, reaching under the table and feeling around for a moment. Ryoga watched her intently, feeling a strange urge to jump on top of her while he had the bloody chance, but having more brains than to think she'd be anything less than outraged with that sort of action he remained still.
He bit his lip and closed his eyes. He'd never thought of her like this before, what was his problem now?
Nabiki found the comic book she was looking for, and pulled it out. She began reading it to clear her head, she tried to ignore Ryoga's presence all together, not willing to deal with the thoughts that went through her head when she did look at him.
'He's just one of Akane's little friends.' She thought to herself. 'Why should I be afraid to look at him?' she gazed up at him for a moment, and saw him intently reading over her shoulder. Their eyes met and Nabiki tried to tare her gaze away from his, but she failed.
"W-what are you reading?" Ryoga asked, obviously making conversation.
Nabiki shrugged. Her head was too foggy to give him an answer.
Nabiki was about to say something, but before she could Ryoga leaned forward and kissed her. She didn't fight, she didn't even try to pull away. That is until she remembered that at least pushing him away was the required course of action for a girl in her position, but by then their kiss had ended.
"Don't do that." Nabiki breathed.
"Why not?" Ryoga asked.
"Just don't." Nabiki said. She wasn't sure why she actually wanted him to do it again, but she was sure she wasn't in her right mind. No way, not with the things going through her head. 'He's a year younger than you, and he's one of Akane's little idiot friends!' She shouted in her head. 'Don't let him kiss you again!'
"What would you do if I do it again?" Ryoga asked.
"I'd castrate you." Nabiki said.
Ryoga frowned for a moment, then Nabiki lost control of her own self and lunged forward, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.
"Whoa!" Ryoga said in halfhearted protest. "What was that you said about castrating me?"
"Forget it." Nabiki said, sitting stomach to stomach on Ryoga's lap.
"Uh . . ." She silenced him with a kiss, but he wouldn't keep quiet. "What are you doing?"
"I'm not entirely sure." Nabiki admitted.
"I think we should stop." Ryoga said.
Nabiki ignored him and started kissing his neck. "Maybe I don't want to." She said.
"Well maybe I don't want to eh . . . do this with you." Ryoga said.
Nabiki looked at him for a second then shook her head. "You're joking. You kissed me first."
"Well yeah, but now that I think about it, it seems more and more like a mistake." Ryoga said.
"Oh really?" Nabiki asked. She pulled her shirt up over her head. "And now?"
"Uh . . . well I certainly appreciate the kind gustier . . . uh I *really* appreciate it, but eh . . . your just not my type."
"The hell I'm not!" Nabiki scoffed. 'How can he blow me off now! Why that little brat!'
"I've always thought that lovers should be able to trust each other, and I just can't trust you." Ryoga said calmly.
Nabiki blushed, then she smiled weakly. "I think I see where you're going with this." She said. "So I'm not your type huh? How about if I were to . . . "find" that two thousand yen you lost?" She asked, reaching into her pocket and revealing the stolen money.
"Did I say you weren't my type?" Ryoga asked as he took the money and placed it into his bandanna. "Because I meant to say you're just my type." He leaned forward and kissed her.

Ryoga closed his eyes tight as Nabiki lay back on the ground, pulling him on top of her. He thought only about Nabiki, only about her bright smile, her cute voice and her beautiful body. He didn't think about how much trouble they were going to be in if some one walked in on them, and he didn't think of Akane at all. He didn't consider that Kasumi could come home any second.
Fortunately Nabiki did think. She broke their kiss and pulled away from him. "I'm not losing my virginity on the floor." She said quietly as if she were expecting some one to hear them.
"Virginity?" Ryoga wondered aloud, ducking to avoid the swipe Nabiki sent at him. No way she was a virgin, she was like . . . to friggin hot . . . well then again he'd never seen her that way until just now . . . but still . . . Nabiki a virgin? Nah.
"C'mon." She said.
Nabiki led Ryoga up to her room, Ryoga made certain not to get lost, following Nabiki with what little strands of concentration he had left.
They arrived at her bedroom and went in, Nabiki immediately turned and started kissing him again. Ryoga kissed back, wrapping his arms around her. They undressed, Nabiki led him over to her bed and pushed him down. She got on top of him, and leaned over and kissed Ryoga again.
This was Ryoga's first time, he had no idea what foreplay was, he didn't know slang such as cock, cum, or that sort of bull shit, and he didn't know that as a virgin Nabiki would become quite annoyed with him in a few seconds, but in his defense he was under the spell of a rather powerful aphrodisiac (though he didn't know that). He wasted no time getting to the point, he rolled on top of Nabiki. He spread her legs apart, she didn't resist but she did whisper "Not that, not yet."
Ryoga wasn't sure what she meant. Not what? He ignored her, moving his hands over her breasts and kissing her neck.
"Nnngg . . . Ryoga . . . maybe . . . uh . . ."
"Let me handle my end of this . . . you worry about yourself." Ryoga said.
"Aww Shaddap . . . stupid kid . . . aha! Hey that hurts!"
"I didn't do anything." Ryoga protested.
"Mm? Oh yeah, that was me." She mumbled embarrassed.
"What'd you do?"
"I don't wanna . . . aaahhhh . . . talk about it." Nabiki said, sitting up, blushing.
"Are we finished?" Ryoga asked, honestly curious.
"What? What kind of stupid question is that? Of course not, I just need to . . . eh . . . forget it. Let's go, c'mon."
"This isn't as cool as I thought it would be." Ryoga confessed.
"Shaddap and get on top ya loser." Nabiki growled. "Just because I'm a year older doesn't mean I know what I'm doing any better than you do."
"I did think there'd be a . . . y'know more of a primal instinct."
"Didn't I tell you to shut up?"
"No, you said 'shaddap' I think there is a-"
"Shut Up!"
"I'm just saying, this bed is really uncomfortable."
"You didn't say that." Nabiki growled.
Ryoga smiled weakly. "Okay, I admit it, I just don't know what the heck I'm supposed to do."
"Man you suck!" Nabiki cried.
"Suck what?" Ryoga asked.
Nabiki slapped him lightly. "Umm . . . okay, so maybe if we did this in a better bed . . . one that's done this before."
"Are you suggesting the bed would know what to do?" Ryoga asked lamely.
"No!" Nabiki said. "I'm just saying that weather she entertains a lot of guys, or just jumps on it a lot Kasumi's bed is really soft."
"Wont Kasumi be angry?"
"Yes. But I'll easily leave evidence suggesting that that stupid pet pig of Akane's ransacked the room."
Ryoga blushed when she said that, wondering how she'd feel knowing he was that stupid pet pig.
They crept into Kasumi's room, looking around to make sure no one was around. Kasumi kept a fairly neat room, Nabiki looked around to see what could be destroyed without being destroyed.
"Are you sure about this? Maybe we should just go to a motel where no one will come home and barge in on us." Ryoga said.
"Are you paying for it Ryoga-honey?" Nabiki asked.
"Huh? Well eh . . . never mind then."
Nabiki laughed wickedly and threw herself on Kasumi's bed. "C'mon, this thing is soft like a water bed!"
"Have you ever tried to have sex on a water bed!" Ryoga protested.
"That's a really stupid question Ryoga-honey, even for you." Nabiki sighed.
Ryoga frowned. Then he looked directly at Nabiki. Oh hey! She's a girl! Cool!
Wait . . . he knew that! Oh . . . hey, she's not wearing anything! Kick ass! Wait! He knew that too! What the hell. He walked over to her, and she grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him down onto the eldest Tendo daughter's bed.
Ryoga closed his eyes for an instant. Even closed he saw Nabiki's perfect body, and in his mind he thought back to those damnable sex education classes he'd been to shy to pay attention to. 'Okay, gotta get this right, for her at least.' He thought to himself. 'Damn Ranma, forcing me to go hungry at lunchtime! If only I had food I could concentrate and remember those classes! Now lets see . . .'
During all this, Nabiki was kissing him, and running her fingers through his hair. He didn't notice it, but she fought the urge to swipe the money 'hidden' in his bandanna.
He moved his hands over her slender form, she moaned softly when his hand wondered between her legs. Okay, he knew that he was supposed to do something there . . . okay what was it?

Nabiki knew a lot more about sex than Ryoga, she just couldn't think strait. She did wonder why he was being so unresponsive; he was like a statue until he started moving his hands over her body. She closed her eyes. "Ryoga, do something." She whispered. "C'mon now, the wait is killing me."
Ryoga kissed her on her lips, then she felt something pushing into her, splitting her apart-it hurt so much! "Do something . . . but not that!" She gasped. But it was to late, he thrust into her, and she erupted in an ear-shattering scream that she just couldn't stop, losing her control completely. She dug her fingernails into his shoulders, and bit down on her lip.
"I'm sorry!" Ryoga said. "I didn't . . . eh, I mean I-"
Nabiki shook her head violently. "Shut up! Shut up!" She cried. "Just keep going, don't stop just because aha! Just because I start screaming, what kinda boy friend are you?"
Ryoga frowned at her, Nabiki lunged forward and kissed him. "P-please?" She asked. "Don't stop now that were just getting started.
He nodded, but whispered "I'm eh . . . sorry."
Nabiki kissed him to shut him up. She felt him continue to thrust in and out of her, it hurt, but it felt kind of good too. The warmth, the friction-oh god it felt so strange. It was completely new to her, she didn't understand it . . . but she did like it.
Even though it hurt a lot, it felt nice. She became aware that she was moaning, she bit down on her own lip again, to silence her lustful cries, she closed her eyes tight, trying to concentrate on not making to much noise.
But Ryoga continued to thrust in an out of her body, she couldn't help it. Then he kissed her and her eyes shot open, her concentration broken, she couldn't concentrate on anything! The friction, the warmth it was too much!

Ryoga kept pushing into Nabiki, then pulling away. Just his luck the one thing he remembered from school ended up hurting Nabiki! She kept whimpering, or moaning, and Ryoga missed the traces of pleasure in her cries, hearing only her surprised gasps and the pain in her voice.
But he didn't stop, he just couldn't it felt to good. She was so wet inside, and tight, she was squeezing him, he kept his eyes open, even though hers were closed. He looked at her face, he could tell she was in pain. Her eyes were shut tight, she was biting her lip to keep from making any sound. Her nails were digging into his shoulders, her legs were wrapped tightly around his waist. They were both sweating already.
He leaned his head forward and kissed her, she opened her eyes, and he kissed her again.
"R-R-Ryoga." She mumbled. "I . . . I aha! I think I'm going to--" She gasped, cutting herself off.
Ryoga didn't say anything. He felt really strange, he felt like he was going to explode, he felt Nabiki's . . . eh . . .whatever it was called. He felt it growing tighter, contracting around him, he groaned and tried to pull away, thinking something bad was happening.
But he didn't. His body wasn't doing what he wanted it to. He made one more vicious thrust into her, the force involved caused her to gasp in pain, but she moaned loudly too and Ryoga felt something coming out of her. Something wet . . . she was getting even warmer now, and slippery too. He couldn't hold back any longer, he didn't even know that he was doing so. His legs buckled and he closed his eyes tight. He felt something leave his erection and shoot straight into Nabiki.
It was totally new to him, and he tried to pull away from her, shocked and hoping he wasn't hurting her more. But her legs were wrapped tight around him and he couldn't escape. He closed his eyes tightly. "N-Nabiki." He whispered. "I didn't . . . want to hurt you."
"It . . . happens." Nabiki breathed. She kissed him again. She laughed weakly. "I'm to tired to screw up Kasumi's room . . . if she comes home were fucked."
"Funny, I thought we did that already." Ryoga mumbled.
Nabiki sighed, and closed her eyes. Ryoga rolled off of her, and lay next to her, wrapping his arms around her . . . "Well . . . when they get back . . . we've got a lot of explaining to do . . . weather or not Kasumi catches us." Ryoga mumbled, falling asleep himself.

Ryoga felt his heart pounding in his chest, Nabiki was standing there, right across from him on the other side of the open field. He wanted to go to her, but he couldn't. He'd get lost, he just knew it!
"Ryoga!" She called. "Hey, c'mon! I'm waiting for you, I'm all alone!"
Ryoga nodded, he threw caution to the wind and ran to her.
But he went the wrong way! Somehow he went the wrong way! She was getting farther away, and then he couldn't see her.
"Ryoga!" She cried. "I'm over here!"
Ryoga looked to his left. "Nabiki!" He cried. "I'm coming!"
"Hurry! I'm so scared!" She said.
Scared? Nabiki was never scared! He'd have to get to her fast! If she was scared of something . . ."
But then she wasn't there!
"Ryoga! How long do I have to wait!?" She demanded, now far behind him.
"Not all night I hope." Another Nabiki added, she was to his far right.
Ryoga was confused now. Two of them? "Nabiki?" he asked.
"Yes?" They both said at the same time.
Ryoga was so confused.
Then some one else showed up! It was Kuno! The two Nabiki's disappeared, and then one was standing right next to Ryoga.
Kuno laughed wickedly. "You foul creature! To ruin the purity of Nabiki Tendo, my love!"
"I thought you loved Akane!" Ryoga protested.
"And did you not love Akane as well?" Kuno demanded.
Akane appeared. "Yes Ryoga. Didn't you love me?"
"I . . . think so." Ryoga said, his head was swimming now.
"Cretin!" Kuno scoffed. "To forget the fair maiden Akane? You are nothing but a pig with no sense of gratitude!"
"A pig?" Ryoga wondered. Suddenly he was P-Chan!
"Oh P-Chan!" Akane cried. She scooped him up into her arms and held him.
"No! No I'm not P-Chan!" Ryoga cried, speaking through P-Chan's tiny snout.
"Nonsense. You're my pet P-Chan!" Akane declared. "And I love P-Chan!"
"No! I'm Ryoga!"
"Nonsense." Kuno said coolly.
"Yeah," Akane agreed. "I don't love Ryoga. I don't even like Ryoga. But I love P-Chan."
"And that's the only way she'll ever love you." Kuno scoffed. "That's why you wanted Nabiki. You don't care about her at all."
"That's not true!" Ryoga said. Or was it? Was it true? It couldn't be true!
"Admit it, yer just jealous of me an Akane." Ranma scoffed.
"How could I be?" Ryoga demanded. "Jealous of YOU Ranma?"
"And how could I ever love a pig?" Nabiki scoffed. "Oh my, I suppose I was wasting my time with you."
"What? No!" Ryoga protested.
"Not even Nabiki wants ta stick 'round with you!" Ranma laughed.
"Nabiki is mine, and Akane belongs to Ranma." Kuno said. "Don't even bother trying your tricks on Kasumi either, you should just leave. Leave and never set foot near Tendo Training Hall again."
"Bite me!" Ryoga snapped.
Then he was in a pit! A pit full of snakes, all of them with fangs, biting him! He was a human again, but he couldn't move, the snakes had him all tied up! They were constricting on him, twisting themselves in knots around him, biting him!
"Bye Ryoga!" Ranma cried.
"I'll see you later P-Chan!" Akane cried.
"Help me!" Ryoga cried.
"It's a better fate than you deserve." Kuno said simply.
"See you in hell Ryoga-honey." Nabiki said lightly.
"I'll bake a soufflé!" Kasumi cried.

"I'll bake a soufflé!" Kasumi cried, Ryoga snapped away, and found himself on the table of the Tendo common room.
"Great." Nabiki yawned, waking up herself. "I didn't know you needed cooking lard for that!"
"Nonsense!" Kasumi said. "The cooking lard is for other dishes. Oh! Hello Ryoga!"
Ryoga smiled weakly at Kasumi and said "Hello." He shook his head, trying to make sense of what was going on.
He and Nabiki were fully clothed, sitting in the common room of the Tendo home. Before him was a mug of hot chocolate, and slowly his memory returned to him. Oh yeah, he'd taken a sip of that crap and gone out like a light he supposed. Funny, his dream felt so real!
He sighed. What a weird dream. Nabiki of all people, if he had to dream about . . . that . . . why not dream about Akane? Now he looked at Nabiki and saw her in a whole new light, she really did look pretty, but she always had. There was something about her that seemed different.
'That must be a normal reaction to having a dirty dream about some one.' He thought.
He didn't notice the smile Nabiki flashed him when Kasumi went into the kitchen.
He didn't notice that his back, or rather, his shoulders felt like they'd been cut up. He didn't notice the twenty thousand yen in his bandanna.

Kasumi hummed to herself as she rummaged through the things in the kitchen. "Oh! What's this! We have hot Chocolate? Wow!"

Nabiki yawned slightly. She frowned when Kasumi came out of the kitchen and went into her bedroom. She came back down shortly after going up. "Hey!" She said in surprise. "My room is ruined, and there's blood and something else all over my bed."
"That damn P-Chan!" Nabiki scoffed. "Must've gotten in there while you were out."
"P-Chan . . . huh?" Ryoga mumbled. He looked really confused.
Nabiki yawned again. She was beat. She was so incredibly tired she wanted to just lay down and never wake up. Kasumi came down with a small box. She placed it in front of Nabiki. "Speaking of pigs . . . Here." She said. "I have a present for you, I was hiding it under my bed."
"Uh . . . okay." Nabiki said.
"Well, open it." Kasumi urged.
"Hey-yeah!" Ryoga enthused. "Open it up!"
"It's not Christmas yet!" Nabiki said coldly.
"Open it." Kasumi pleaded.
Nabiki smiled weakly. She opened the package . . . it was small and covered in red wrapping. "What is . . . this?" Nabiki asked as she finished unwrapping it.
"It's a piggy bank!" Kasumi said enthusiastically. "So you can save your money and no one will be able to get to it!"
"That's great!" Nabiki said with forced enthusiasm. She didn't really need a piggy bank, but then again the little bugger was kinda cute. It was a white piglet with a cute pink bow tied around its neck.
"I got Akane one too, but don't tell her." Kasumi said happily. She lifted a mug of something steamy and Nabiki realized there was one in front of her as well. "Let's toast!" She cried. "To Christmas!"
"Sure!" Ryoga said. Nabiki lifted the mug, and toasted. "Uh . . . what is in here?" She asked.
"Hot chocolate! I just found out we have some!" Kasumi said happily. She took a big sip, Nabiki sweatdropped and just pretended to take a sip. She was tired, but she didn't fancy fainting again.
Ryoga was a moron. He downed the whole thing.
Ryoga and Kasumi fell forward on their faces, unconscious or asleep or something. Nabiki shrugged. "What the hell." She said, she laid down on the table, mimicking the position her sister and Ryoga had taken.
"Maybe . . ." She thought. "It's better if Ryoga thinks what happened was just a dream." And she fell asleep on the table.

The End . . .

It was terrible, I know, but you try writing a lemon without using slang or those embarrassing medical terms that just totally kill the mood then come talk to me. Anyway, flame me good 'n proper like I know I got coming.