She grabs his hand. She's sure of it. Did she? The pain is making it hard to focus. She can feel his hand when she squeezes it tight. Her mind goes blank for a few seconds.
"Hold on," she says, or she thinks she says it anyway. She tries again.
She hears his voice, but she can't tell whether it's really him who's talking. It may all just be in her head.
She can't remember. Did he get rid of her or not. Maybe she's in his office?
She thinks she hears a woman's voice.
"Lucy." The pain is becoming unbearable. "Lucy, nine one one. Call nine one one."
Everything goes black in front of her eyes. It feels like she's floating. She doesn't let go of his hand.
They survive. Barely. Endless hours in hospital, surgery after surgery, complication after complication. Kate is released first. She spends three nights in Lanie's guestroom. She doesn't want to go home without him. The day Rick is released from hospital, their entire family works together to get them back to the loft safely. Esposito and Ryan check every room thoroughly, even though they know everyone connected to LokSat is either dead or in jail. When Rick falls asleep in the middle of a sentence, everyone leaves.
Everyone leaves, except Alexis. She's there when they need new bandages. She's there to help them into the bathroom. She's there to cook and to clean and to make them take their meds. Alexis is always there, except for when Martha makes her leave the loft for a few hours. They don't know where she goes every time, but she comes back looking happier and more relaxed.
"You should think of this as practice for when we're old," Rick tells Alexis one day. It's the first time Kate believes he'll survive this. She's still not sure about herself.
They get better, stronger every day. Eventually Alexis leaves, and they're on their own again, just the two of them. Except when Lanie visits. Sometimes she brings Esposito. Jenny and Ryan visit them with their kids in tow. Kate finds herself overcome by sadness and jealousy. She thinks about asking Ryan to stop bringing his kids, but the look on Rick's face makes her reconsider. She starts to reconsider a lot of things.
They both finally receive a clean bill of health from their doctors. They celebrate by soaking in the tub together. They hide themselves away from the world for a week. They check in with Alexis once a day so she can keep the cavalry at bay. They talk. They make love. They talk some more. They have sex. They sleep. Their doctors advised them to seek professional help. After countless nightmares, they agree.
"I've been thinking," she tells him a few weeks later.
"So have I," he tells her.
She officially retires from the NYPD on the same day he signs over the P.I. firm to Alexis and Hayley.
"What now?" he asks.
Their daughter Lily is three months old when Kate gets the offer again. This time she accepts. She wins by a landslide.
"Remember Simon Doyle?"
"Time travel isn't real, Rick."
"Don't ruin the story with logic, Beckett."
"That's senator Beckett to you."
On bad days, she feels sick when she sees his scar. She knows that without her, he never would have gotten it.
On bad days, he has a hard time letting her walk out the door. The threatening letters come across his desk too sometimes.
On good days, she caresses his scar. She thanks the universe for keeping him alive.
On good days, he lets his lips draw lines between her scars. He thanks the universe for keeping her alive.
By the time the twins are born, the good days far outweigh the bad.