Hey. So, originally I wanted to put the email addresses in here, but the silly website won't let me put the 'at' symbol, so instead I just put the student number. So when you see a student number (like 47828) read it like 47828 ATSYMBOL Rakuzan . jap . edu.

Sigh. Goddamn ff . net. Anyway, shouldn't be a problem next chapter...

Please enjoy :D

A Kuroko no Basket FanFiction

Insincerely, Perfect

"I had become a perfect fake human, saying the stupid and pointless things that humans say to each other all day long."


Prologue to Perfection

It was the last session of the day. Community and Connect. Or something. Whatever it was (Cultivate and Continue? Crash and Burn with a Catchy Title?) I sincerely hoped it would involve an hour at a shelter for an easy A, or something useless like that. Something that made people feel better, fluffed up their resumes, was a successful waste of a Tuesday afternoon, but didn't waste my time. I already had my hands full with Student Council business, and another job would be irritating.


I looked up, smile slipping into place easily. "Yuri-chan, what's wrong?"

"Oh nothing." She squatted down next to me, the signal for the rest of her friends to move in and crowd around. So we could chat.

Or something stupid like that.

"Did you hear what happened to Tanu-sensei?"

I blinked, leaning forwards just the right amount to seem curious but not too nosy. "Nope. Is she okay?"

"Well her boyfriend dumped her."

Ugh. Who cares? There are wars going on and sensei-slut drops another boy-toy. Call CNN. "Oh, poor Tanu-sensei. Is she okay?"

"Yeah, but she's taking the week off so we get to have Yamata-sensei for English tomorrow and Friday." Yuri whispered conspiratorially, winking while her friends tittered like so many vapid hummingbirds.

"Ooh, how exciting." I grinned, placing my chin on my upturned palm. "I hope he- oh, Yamamoto-sensei is here." I cut myself off, shrugging sadly at the girls. "Talk later."

They dispersed, twittering their ways back to their desks and beginning their ritualistic preening the second they sat down. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and instead glanced over at my favourite PDA couple. Either they were sickeningly together or fantastically apart, and judging by the rose Emiko was trying to stealthy sneak into Eiji's bag (and the way he was not-so-subtly trying to shove it out of her reach) they were having one of their fabulous fights. I'm not kidding, their screaming matches and B-grade movie reunions were the stuff of my happiness. Emiko, desperately failing in her plan, put the rose down and begun constructing a paper plane.

I bit back a snort and looked over at Yamamoto-sensei, who was saying something about happiness and healing. Goddamned alliteration.

"-other schools. As it is anonymous, using your school account, we have sent you all the five rules for corresponding with your partner." I glanced imperceptibly at the guy who sat next to me (Isao, all round popular guy and wanker) and took in his disgusted expression. Right, so it was some kind of ridiculously bad scheme that involved an anonymous partner from another school. Yamamoto-sensei, in typical fashion, pulled out his laptop and glanced dispassionately at the class. "Right, so log into your emails and read up on the instructions then get started." He then flipped open his screen, and got stuck into his usual lip-biting display of trying to not be angry at the idiocy of the reports he read.

Seeing no other option (bar throwing a 'my head hurts can I see the nurse please'), I opened my laptop and logged in quickly, opening my school emails and sighing at the new messages- 26. Honestly. I was away for a few hours at most. People were so impatient.

From: Sasaki Yuri

Sent: 2:30 pm today

Subject: This is stupid- y do we have 2?

Ugh, group email, delete.

From: Fukui Eiji

Sent: 2:27 pm today

Subject: Is Emiko still in love with me?

I glanced over at him, saw he had already (inexplicitly) made up with his long-time-beau and was making eyes at her and deleted the email.

From: Hamasaki Isao

Sent: 1:59 pm today

Subject: r u free weked

(Translation for the literate: are you free this weekend to go to yet another mixer and pretend that you're interested in the horsehite people call conversation?) I quickly sent a reply – with a smiley emoticon of course – and then deleted the email, adding the event to the calendar dairy I kept with me at all times.

The next twenty were a mixture of late remainders (the school calendar system was the definition of useless, and liked to send reminders approximately forty-three hours after whatever event you needed to be reminded of had happened), library notices (I swear, if I get one more of these…) and promos from clubs around the school (including the relaxation club, who advertised nice smells and 'super fun' people, but were really a cover for the drop-outs to get high and claim 'but it's incense' if anyone questioned them). I deleted them all then moved on to the next three.

From: Matsumoto Tadashi

Sent: 12:02 pm today

Subject: Are you coming to the Student Council meeting this afternoon?

Matsumoto was the President of the council and, much to my chagrin, my boss. Extremely beloved by the cooing females, and too smart to be anything but in charge, he kept a strict schedule and a tight leash on everyone in the council. People did their jobs and everyone looked good- it was practically his motto. Inwardly sighing, I typed out a reply.

From: Tsukino Kita

Sent: 2:38 pm today

Subject: Are you coming to the Student Council meeting this afternoon?

Hey Pres.

I'll be there, but Seiji said he had work today, so I'm happy to cover the minutes.

So not happy. Make someone else do it you dictator.

From: Yamada Seiji

Sent: 11:56 pm today

Subject: tell pres I have work pls. I owe you


From: Too Academy

Sent: 11:44 pm today

Subject: Correspondence with a high school student.

Dear Tsukino,

As per your Pastoral Care classes, we have an exciting new task for you all!

In your pastoral care sessions, two each week, you will be emailing a student from Rakuzan High. The process is anonymous and the other student will only see your student ID number, not your name, so feel free to be as honest as possible!

The student you who are partnering with will be required to send you two emails per week, as will you. But before you begin this exciting task, here are the five rules you have to follow.

1. Don't ask for personal information from your partner, and don't pressure them into giving any.

2. Don't give away personal information to your partner- this is to help you talk to another person candidly about high school, don't complicate things!

3. Email twice every week, to keep your partner updated.

4. Be polite to your partner- emails are automatically monitored for swearing and key words and phrases so don't do anything our principal wouldn't!

5. Have fun!

For your first email we suggest you should say these things:

1. Establish a name for yourself

2. Tell the person three things about yourself

3. Be engaging

4. Tell them something interesting

Tsukino, your partner's student number is:


Have fun,

The teachers of Too.

Are you kidding me?

Two emails per week to a stranger. Having to pretend to be upbeat and engaged to yet another moron?

No thank you.

I looked up to see what everyone else was doing, and to my dismay, most of them had begun typing furiously, pouring their hearts out to strangers who couldn't give a damn about them.

I glared tiredly at my laptop. Typical. Another job.

I continued to tap the keyboard irritably, trying to think of a way out of the job, when a thought occurred to me.

If the emails were, actually, anonymous then I wouldn't have to pretend to be anyone or anything. I could say whatever I wanted (providing I didn't tip off the filters) and face no repercussions. In other words, I could be honest with the stranger. I could say what I wanted, about whomever I wanted, and complain bitterly about the eejits I faced daily.

Oh yes.

Much more fun.

I swallowed a smile and began typing.

From: Tsukino Kita

To: 47828

Sent: 3:12 pm today

Subject: PC program.

Dearest partner in the newest learning strategy that will flop,

I am reliably informed, by the failures people call our teachers, that this is my newest waste of time. Alongside Student Council duties, Judo training, table tennis practice, English Conversation Club, hosting the Friday afternoon school radio slot, school choral rehearsals, maintaining the sane-levels of the people who are my 'friends', staying top thirty for results and being the All-Round Golden Girl, I must now correspond with you. Fan-tas-tic.

I'm supposed to tell you three things about myself? Sure.

1. I am perfect- I do everything perfect. I say the right things, befriend the right people, join the right clubs. Everything I do is mathematically correct. And because you'll never know who I am, to you, I will simply write the things I hate (everything) to you. I don't care if you read, but you have to reply. If my partner doesn't reply then things aren't perfect. For me, things must be perfect.

2. I'm the VP of the Student Council alongside two other morons (technically treasurer and secretary but the lines for our jobs were blurred way back in the nineties). One of which is there because he could charm the knickers off a red-neck pensioner, and the other because he's the most efficient ass of the school. The Pres, despite his tendencies to over-work everyone else, is the most popular guy in the school, and a scheming bastard I (for my own safety) stay on the very good side of.

3. I hate cats. Can't stand 'em. The little nitwits have f***ed personalities and weird eyes.

Something interesting? How about everything I say.

Anyway, all of this is just good venting for me. Reply with whatever you want.



I bit back a grin and sent it.

Noticing I had a few minutes before the bell went and I had to face Matsumoto's boring meeting, I pulled up my maths assignment and, sighing, began diligently working.


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