"I might have an idea in mind," Scott said with a lopsided grin and slapped the fuming Brit on the shoulder. "Mikey, with me. Martinez, get Julia—I, I mean Richmond to safety." He tapped his comm. "Baxter, you copy? Do something useful and help out our lovely lady supporting cast. Sinclair, Grant, we're coming to you." Scott jogged down a marble hallway with Stonebridge right on his heels.
"I knew you'd come through, mate. So, how do we stop the bombs?" Scott found what he was looking for; a panel with a hidden combination lock that he'd seen the Marksman fiddle with earlier. He shot it open with ease.
"My fatigues! I knew that son of a bitch had stashed them here along with…TA DA!" He tossed a vial into Stonebridge's hands. "There's no way to find the bombs, dude. Not enough time. But they won't be blowing anything up until the Markman's little wifey is safe. So we're gonna take Nina hostage ourselves…with some help, of course." He gestured at the vial. "It'll be better if you drink it, buddy." He winked. "Trust me." Stonebridge rolled his eyes then gulped down the contents of the vial.
"Well? Now what?"
"Just before they chained me to that stupid chair, they injected Queenie beanie with the nanobot 3.0. The person who drinks the corresponding nanbot nectar controls the bots."
"OMG WHAT? I'm NOT controlling the Queen!" Scott grinned.
"Yeah, you are! And the 3.0 is the Fighter model. Go ahead, tell her to get herself and her diamonds over here!"
Stonebridge groaned loudly and punched a marble statue.
"I'm getting so freaking tired of these nanobots!" He heard a thud from behind a tall bookcase and looked at Scott in confusion. His stupid partner gave him a stupid grin.
"Looks like Queenie's already following your lead! Bet this is a secret room, too—" Scott pulled out a worn book from the shelf and a hidden cache allowed the front half of the bookcase to swing open to reveal a small alcove. Her Majesty had managed to undo the rope binding her hands and there was a huge hole in the wall from her recent punch.
"Majesty, I'm so sorry—" Stonebridge wailed as Grant and Sinclair approached from behind. Grant threw Stonebridge a change of clothes, which also miraculously got rid of his hair bleach.
"It's safe to say we've been found out. Nina just finished her speech—go after her!" Scott and Stonebridge ran to the stairwell railing and saw Nina run off the stage.
"Dammit!" Stonebridge cursed and Scott rolled with laughter when the Queen did the same.
"All right, buddy. Let's take the fast track down!" Scott said devilishly, but both went into freak mode when they saw the distance.
"Well, get on with it!" Sinclair snapped. Scott and Stonebridge exchanged nervous glances then jumped from the railing, landing stylishly on the stage below with Stonebridge still clutching the sword in his hand. Queenie thankfully remained on the stairs while being outfitted with a super impressive gun.
"All right, Mikey! Let's go get that floosy!" Scott pounced to his feet in pursuit. Stonebridge instructed Queenie to watch their six.
"Roger, Bravo One," she complied, locked and loaded. Sinclair and Grant took up arms beside the birthday girl, leaving our two favorite, gorgeous, so hot it's sinful agents to get to the meat and potatoes of the story. They descended the stage and sprinted after the femme fatale.
"I hope she's taking care of herself, Damien. She's my life! My world! And if something were to happen to her…"
"Dammit, Mikey, stop worrying about Queenie for one second! We need to get those diamonds!" A pause. "And Nina!"
"I WAS TALKING ABOUT MARTINEZ YOU DAFT IDIOT!"
"Well, EXCUUUUSE ME, princess! You've got so many girls in your life I can't keep track!" Scott sneered as Stonebridge gave him a pointed look.
"Really? Have you even SEEN the show, mate? I suggest you rewatch Season One—"
"Watch out!" Scott screamed as he tackled Stonebridge to the ground, narrowly avoiding a thin wire stretched across the hallway at chest level. Stonebridge spit out a series of British insults when he realized the maze of rooms behind the stage were all likely booby-trapped. Grant's voice crackled in his ear.
"The Marksman's men are on to us! We'll hold them back as long as we can and buy you some time to find him and his wife!"
"Roger!" They both responded and Michael added, "Give 'em hell, Your Majesty!" Shouts of "take THAT you bloody wanker!" could be heard amidst sounds of gunfire.
"Looks like it's just you and me, buddy!" Scott sounded way too happy for a potential life and death situation.
They tackled the next few traps with ease, eventually winding their way outside to…
"Aw, shit! They have another bloody pool!" Stonebridge swore. Lightning crackled across the sky and fat raindrops splattered the chiseled, perfectly sculpted God given duo. An outdoor orchestra began playing a heartbreaking violin medley before Scott shouted "shut the hell up!" and threatened to blast their instruments with a grenade. Stonebridge spotted Nina trying to hide behind the tuba player and knocked her on her ass with the butt of his sword. "Guess it's time for you to face the music!" he snarled. Scott and Stonebridge laughed at their own pun.
"You could call it your…SWAN SONG," Scott added then faltered as something smashed into the back of his head. Marksman grabbed Scott by the collar, gun at the ready. Stonebridge retaliated by holding the squirming wifey in an arm bar.
"Looks like we have a stalemate, boys," Marksman smirked.
The string orchestra began a breakneck action medley as Stonebridge and the Marksman circled each other with their hostages.
"I have to thank you, Michael, for your participation in assessing the effectiveness of the nanobots. Your female soldier and the Queen benefitted from your failure and now they can be summoned and controlled at will!" Scott squirmed annoying at the mention of Richmond, but Stonebridge smirked.
"I drank your magic voodoo potion. Queenie's under MY control and she's taking out your boys as we speak. She might even defuse your little bombs!" Stonebridge's confidence dwindled as the Marksman let out a hearty laugh.
"Bombs? Oh no—we're way past that. My precious Nina developed aerosol canisters that, when activated, will release millions of nanobots into the air. I'll have an instant army…and it looks like Section 20 will be caught in the crossfire. In just a few minutes, our dream will be realized! It'll be nice to have you back on our side, Michael!" Stonebridge paled at the implications and shot Scott a glance.
"So THAT'S why you wanted access to Section 20's database!" Scott spat as he continued to break free from his captor's hold. "You wanted the addresses of every Section 20 stronghold, base and safe house so that you could release your own nanobots to British Intelligence agents across the globe!" Marksman laughed just as the band reached an epic crescendo and lightning tore across the sky like a golden ribbon.
"Quite perceptive, American scum! That DEA officer may have delayed our progress, but my best hackers are breaking through your flimsy firewall. Everyone you care about—even characters that haven't been introduced to this story and you have no idea who they are, like Esther—will fall victim to my nanobot wave of terror!" A fiery blast radiated from the swimming pool, drenching the stud muffins in glistening water. Queenie somersaulted off the nearest rooftop, bazooka in hand. She slapped Nina across the face before yanking the diamonds from her neck.
"Tell Queenie to give those to me, Mikey! For, uh, safekeeping!" Scott said as he used the distraction to his advantage, elbowing Marksman in the face and stealing his weapon.
Stonebridge continued to keep Nina in a neck hold and watched in awe as the Queen rounded on a bunch of Marksman's guards and took them out singlehandedly.
"Geez, Mikey, what'd you tell her to do?" Scott asked incredulously as he started to brawl with the Marksman.
"Uhhh…to try her best?" Stonebridge finished meekly while her Highness performed an array of aerial stunts and gun acrobats.
"F me, she fights better than you!" the American chortled as Michael tried to save face and failed. "Now why don't you leave the real men to the fighting," Scott continued, indicating Queenie, "while you go in search of this nano aerosol whatever thing?" Stonebridge was about to huff out a really epic comeback that would've put all of Scott's wisecracks to shame when Martinez appeared out of nowhere and fittingly handcuffed Nina to the pool ladder, her head safely above the water.
"Not without me, you delicious British beefcake!" she sang while pulling Michael by the hand to the basement steps to begin their search.
Scott kneed Marksman in the face, crushing the fashion glasses and rendering the madman unconscious. Queenie made quick work binding his hands and locking him in the pool shack next to the kiddie toys. After poking fun at Nina, he scampered after the two lovebirds and reveled in the quest-like music from the band. He descended into the basement with a skip in his step, humming to himself as—
"HELLS BELLS AND SHAMROCK SHELLS, I'M NOT GOING IN THERE!" Scott whined and dug his heels into the gritty floor as Stonebridge pulled him forward.
"Uh, YEAH you are! Stop being a little bitch and help me!" Stonebridge shoved his partner into the room where red laser beams crisscrossed from all angles. The aerosol canisters were mounted by the ceiling, ten in total. Six adjustable mirrors lined the walls in a semi circle, guarding a box in the center of the room with the nanobot serum tucked inside.
"The nanobot cure!" SB exclaimed and gave Martinez a quick kiss. "If we die today…"
"We ain't gonna die, my British biscuit! We just gotta maneuver the mirrors around to direct the laser beams away from the cure so we can reach it. A child could do it," Martinez said smugly.
"YEAH, whatever, we just have to make sure that the lasers don't friggin touch the aerosol cans. OMG Mikey, you're right. We're dead. Let's just leave now and see how much Queenie fo sheenie's diamonds are worth cuz I might have an as of yet undisclosed kid I need to support!"
Stonebridge ignored Scott's bitch whining and took a closer look at the large mirrors.
"We won't have to adjust them all," he declared as he majestically whipped out the ornamental sword like a boss. "I bet this can help us deflect some lasers, too—" Stonebridge's kingly moment was short lived as punk ass Baxter flew down the stairs and landed in an exhaustive heap.
"Baxter? What happened? Where's Julia, you twerp?!" Scott raged as the young techie cowered.
"She, uh, woke up and went all ballistic on me and got away!" Martinez rolled her eyes.
"Never let a man do a woman's job, am I right Your Highness? Now, where did Richmond go?" Baxter shifted nervously.
"Grant and Sinclair are keeping guard over Marksman and Nina, which means she could be anywhere!" Now it was Scott's turn to roll his eyes.
"Or she just followed you here, you moron!" Richmond chose at that moment to vault from the rafters, drop kick the sword out of Michael's hands and send the sexy stag reeling backwards towards the laser beams!
Scott yanked his comrade away from the offending lasers, but he wasn't quick enough to spare Stonebridge's shirt and utility vest, which smoldered from the brief contact.
"Dammit, Mikey! Get that shirt off, quick! The material is burning through!"
"Bullocks!" Scott groaned but quickly discarded the vest.
"Uh, are you gonna help your boy toy, Martinez, or not?" Scott said icily as he rounded on Richmond. Martinez gazed at Stonebridge's nearly shirtless torso and sighed lovingly.
"Yeah, yeah. In a moment." Stonebridge finally rid himself of the smoking shirt remnants—no thanks to Martinez—and brandished his sword. He saw Scott take a punch to the face, like a real man, Stonebridge admired, because a punch like that would've knocked him on his ass for sure.
"Mikey, leave Julia—I, I mean Richmond to me and Baxter. Figure out that Houdini ball buster puzzle so we can save her! And for God's sake, drop that stupid sword!"
"How about I drop the sword when you drop the 'I'm more macho than you' act?" came Stonebridge's annoyed reply as he turned to the laser puzzle before him. It was hard to concentrate with Martinez stroking his awesomely muscular abs.
"HOT DAMN two shirtless guys in one day? I might just die of happiness."
"We all might just die anyway if we don't get to the cure in time before those nano canisters are activated!" Michael cut in hurriedly as he analyzed the puzzle. Besides being a gorgeous man hottie he was also sexy smart and figured out the solution in record time—he was sure it would've taken his stupid American partner ages to figure it out. He directed Martinez to move various mirrors and utilized the metal in the sword to create a clear path to the cure. "All right, Martinez! Go for it!" he ordered as Scott continued to battle Richmond behind him.
Scott, meanwhile, was getting the shit kicked outta him by his one true love.
"JULIA! It's me! The hunkiest number 10 you could ever hope to find in a world full of 5's!" She clocked him in the nose then aimed a kick right at— "Not the baby maker!" he sobbed but before her boot made contact, Martinez jabbed the syringe into Richmond's neck and she fell unconscious into man stud Scott's super toned arms. Stonebridge willed Queenie over—she dutifully complied after a series of acrobatic flips and cartwheels—and Martinez gave her the same treatment. Stonebridge tried to catch the Queen as she collapsed unconscious to the floor, but Martinez intercepted him and held his shirtless body close.
"Mmmmm I could get used to this!" she purred. Baxter saved the day, catching the Queen and her diamonds and lowering her to the floor. In minutes the nano'd pair woke up, nursing a few stiff muscles from their cirque de solei workout while under the affect of the bots.
"It's…over?" Michael asked, amazed everyone survived (even those who didn't even make an appearance, like Ester) and the Marksman's evil plan was successfully foiled. "Yes! WE WON!" He twirled Martinez in a circle and gave her a kiss before remembering his stick in the mud upbringing and tried to play it cool. He graciously took Queenie's hand and profusely thanked her for her help. Sinclair rushed down the steps, followed by a convenient team of science-y soldiers who set about properly securing and transporting the remaining cure vials and nano canisters. Stonebridge, hand in hand with his girlfriend, bounded up the stairs and into sweet Jesus air where he saw Grant leading the Marksman and wifey away in chains. He punched Marksman forcefully in the face, relishing his overdue payback.
Scott and Richmond shared a passionate victory kiss before following Stonebridge and company up the stairs. The band broke into a cheery, uplifting jazzy tune when Stonebridge and Scott both took shots at the handcuffed Marksman. They dumped water on Nina who whined about her ruined hair.
"We did it, Mikey! F me, I can't believe we both survived! AND we got the girls!" Scott exclaimed and pumped his fist into the air.
"You still need to turn in your field reports," Sinclair said, effectively ruining the moment.
"And I expect a full de-briefing by 0800 hours," Grant added with a slight smile. The sexylicious duo groaned.
Stonebridge and his team made their way through the elaborate mansion, Scott living it up with his newfound love and Stonebridge, ever the gentleman, helping Queen Bee at every opportunity. When they reached the stage, Queenie stopped their procession and looked at the two hunky men in adoration.
"You both saved my life! To show my appreciation, I'd like to return the favor as best I can." The grand moment was ruined by Scott's stupid laugh.
"Thanks, Queenie Fo Sheenie! I will gladly accept your diamond necklace—" Michael elbowed his partner hard in the gut as he cleared his throat.
"Will this do, Your Majesty?" he asked innocently, brandishing the ornamental sword with style. Scott whined like a crybaby cribsey.
"NO! I don't wanna be knighted! I wanna be a millionaire!" Stonebridge winked and said slyly, "Don't worry, mate. You're not a British citizen. I'll be a REAL knight—Knight Grand Cross in the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, to be exact—and you'll be granted honorary status which basically amounts to diddly squat." Scott blanched as they knelt and Queenie performed the honors, addressing Stonebridge as "Sir" and saying nothing to Scott as he didn't even get THAT honor. Scott sputtered miserably in Richmond's arms.
"All that and I'm not even rich! I think you used your nano mind tricks to force Queenie into knighting us, you prude! You've probably been dreaming about this moment your entire life!" Stonebridge looked appalled.
"I would never…!" he declared, but Scott caught the smirk. Suspicious. "And remember, from now on it's 'sir'," Michael added blatantly and Scott's suspicions were confirmed.