Disclaimer, Story and original characters are owned by E.L. James - This story and any new characters are mine.
Chapter Six
I stare out the window as we pass the streets of Seattle in Christians Audi R8. I don't know how many streets we've turned, or how long we've been driving. What I do know is that I needed to get away from everyone back there. I haven't turned my phone back on but I know it'd be blaring with calls and texts; Maybe not from Kate, but definitely from the Grey's.
Thoughts of Ethan pop into my head and I shut my eyes tight, willing them to go away. Why didn't he just tell me he was put up to helping me? I remember seeing him around a couple of times at parties before we got closer. Did he tell the Grey's what I was up to? Was that why they asked him to watch over me? That's the only reason that could make sense otherwise why ask Ethan of all people? We were always close as kids but I was closer to Kate and Mia.
6 years ago
Tom passes me the joint and I take another hit. My eyes roll back on their own accord as the weed starts taking effect. I feel Simons clammy hand run up my thigh and I manage to swat it away.
"I'm nowhere near hammered enough to let you finger me dude." I tell him as the others laugh at his expense. He shrugs it off like every other time and takes a hit. Chuckling, I get up to get a beer from the fridge.
As I walk towards the kitchen I see Ethan hanging about on his own, just staring at the guys on the couch. I walk up to him with a smile plastered on my face.
Ethan's always been the hot guy. All the girls at school wanted a piece of him or have had a piece of him. He sees me and his face transforms from stern to soft. Ethan's 2 years older than me. I started seeing more of him lately because of the older college kids I've been hanging around. I've been dressing the part, looking a lot older than 17. Ethan and I hardly hung out in our teen years. We see each other around but it's not like we play together like we did as kids anymore.
"Hey, Annie."
The use of my nickname is like a bucket of ice being poured over me but I try my hardest to ignore it and keep that smile plastered to my face. Just smile.
"Hey, E. How's it going?"
His eyes travel down my body. I'm wearing a cute black halter and red mini skirt. His eyes linger on my bare legs and I start feeling a little tingly.
I bite my lip as his eyes reach mine.
"It's true. I don't know how that rumour started but I'm telling you, I never bit a guys ear off."
I laugh out loud as I lay back on the grass, outside. Ethan and I have been talking for what feels like hours, having a joint here and there.
"What about you?" He asks me as he takes a hit. "Tell me something true about yourself."
I continue to lay there, just staring up at the stars when I feel Ethan lay beside me, his arm brushing against mine. I can feel his eyes on me as I continue to stare up at Seattle's night sky.
"I haven't cried once since my parents died."
"We're here." Christians voice brings me out of my memories and I lightly shake my head.
I look around and notice we're not in my underground car park, but his. Christian comes to my side of the car and opens my door. "What are we doing here I ask?" As I step out of the car.
"You're in no condition to be alone tonight, Anastasia, and I doubt there's anyone else you'd rather be around right now."
He's right about one thing. There's definitely no one else I can handle being around right now. Not even Jose.
"Christian, I'm fine. I really would like to just go home."
He shuts my door, completely ignoring me and walks towards the elevator. I stand there, not moving a budge. He can't just make me stay at his house.
As he continues walking he yells out "Everything will go a lot smoother if you just agree."
The elevator ride feels like an eternity. I roll my head and lean back on the wall. I take a deep breath and exhale. I'm starting to feel a bit restless. I need something to rid tonight's memories. It's almost funny, when I'm feeling like this, the first person I turn to is Ethan. I look to Christian; he's nothing like Ethan. What am I even doing here with him?
It's only then I notice the stiffness of his back and the tensing of his jaw.
"Hey, are you okay?" I ask. He simply nods his head and continues to glare at the elevator doors ahead of him. The elevator pings and we finally arrive. Christian rushes out of it like a man on a mission and I follow behind like a lost little puppy.
As he heads to the kitchen I head straight for the couch. I don't have the energy to look around and throw compliments. I really just want to wrap myself into a blanket and never wake up.
And you wanted to be alone.
I sit there, just staring ahead at the open space that becomes blurry from the tears that's invading my eyes. I rub them away furiously, angry that I can't seem to stop them.
I feel sweat starting to bead on my forehead and I wipe it away. I really need a fucking drink.
I rub my hands along my jeans as I feel my hands starting to clam.
Christian comes over with two bottles of water. I eagerly take one and down most of it in record time. He sits there, completely unfazed, staring at me.
I put the cap back on the bottle. "Do you have anything... Stronger than this?" I ask. I really need something stronger If I'm going to get through this night.
"Yes."
I feel like crying again but this time from relief. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
"Great, that's great... May I have a drink?" I ask with a smile.
"No."
...
Did he just say no? "Did you just say no?" I ask. He didn't right? I'm hearing things, right?
"I did." He drinks some of his water and places it on the coffee table in front of us. He turns his body towards me and casually places his arm along the back of the couch.
"Ok, Christian... I don't think you fully understand what's happening here."
I need a fucking drink. I need something, anything.
God, you're pathetic.
"Trust me, I understand completely, Anastasia. The last thing you need is to drown your sorrows in a bottle."
I laugh at his audacity. Is this guy fucking serious? Like he knows me, he doesn't fucking know me.
"You know what? I'm out of here." I stand up and head to the elevator. I don't hear Christian following me, which is good. This was such a waste of time. I could've already been tipsy by now or at the very least riding some dude into the black hole I desperately need right fucking now. Why the fuck did he even bring me back here? What was the point of it?
I hit the button a little forcefully, thankful it opens straight away. I step inside and hit the ground button.
"Code needed?!" I snap. What kind of fucking elevator is this? I start banging random numbers in frustration.
"Just let me the fuck out!" I yell. As I continue hitting the numbers, the frustration inside only builds. I can feel it bubbling and it's making me want to rip my own hair out. I start thrashing around the elevator, punching and kicking the walls around me; walls that are closing in... Making it harder for me move. I wiggle my body around the small place, the walls are close to crushing me. Why can't I move?
"Shhhhhh, relax, it'll pass. You need to let it pass." Warm breath tickles the side of my neck and I open my eyes, completely unaware that I had them closed.
I'm still in the elevator but I'm not being crushed in by walls. I feel the wetness on my face and ache of my knuckles.
Strong arms are holding me from behind. I turn my head and look up. "Christian?" I sob softly.
"Come on, you need rest." He grabs my hand and gently guides me out of the elevator.
My mind is in a complete jumble as I slowly wake from the sound of a piano playing in the distance. I almost think I'm dreaming when my brain catches up and the memories come rushing back.
I sit up and rub my eyes. God, I'm so tired... What time is it? I look to the side of me and see an alarm clock. 4:16AM. My body is begging me to go back to sleep but the sad melody drifting through the air is calling out to me with more persistence.
As I pull the covers off of me I get a serious case of deja vu as I notice the oversized white tee hanging off my frame.
I get out of bed and decide to follow the beautifully tragic notes. My bare feet make no sound as I trudge along the floor.
I'm glued to my spot as I see Christians silhouette bent over a grand piano. The backdrop of Seattle's night sky illuminates just enough of his body to make him recognisable.
He's so engrossed with the music, I almost feel guilty watching him; it seems so intimate.
Suddenly the music comes to a halt and I feel such at loss.
"Please, don't stop." I beg quietly. Christians head turns to mine, I can't tell if he's pissed or not but I just need to hear more.
"Please... Just play a little more."
He sits idle for another moment until the keys start being played again. I make my way over to the piano and just close my eyes, taking it in. It's been so long since I've heard someone actually play the piano; I forgot how at ease it always made me feel.
I open my eyes and see Christian staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face. Not taking his fingers off the keys, he motions for me to sit next to him.
I sit there for a moment, just watching his hands move with such natural ease, dominating the instrument. I'm completely transfixed.
"Do you still play?" He asks me.
Immediately, any sense of ease I felt turns sour and I'm now aware of the reality that is now and that is my fucked up life.
It takes me a moment to realize he's stopped playing, waiting for me to answer.
I clear my throat, "Uh... No I don't. I haven't played for a long time."
Not since my parents died.
We sit there together in comfortable silence.
"I apologize if I woke you." Christian says.
I chuckle and shake my head. "No, you didn't. Well ok you did. But It was a nice wake up call."
I see the hint of a smile on his face and can't believe the difference it makes to it. He should do it more. He's always frowning.
"You should get back to bed. I promise not to disturb you anymore."
I cock my head to the side in fascination.
"You've always been so proper huh? From what I can remember, even as a kid."
He stands up, completely ignoring me and holds out his hand.
"I'll take you back to bed."
I look at his hand and take it. "You know, usually a man buys me dinner and some drinks before taking me to bed... But just drinks is fine I guess" I joke.
Christian doesn't find my attempt at humor funny and continues to drag me to bed. His grip on my hand tightens for just a moment before relaxing again.
Tough crowd.
We reach the bedroom and he lets go of my hand. I move to the side of the bed and hop in.
Christians remains standing at the end of the bed, looking uncomfortable, looking like he's in some sort of pain almost. I look around the room and finally realize this was the room I stayed in the other night; Christians room.
"Christian, you don't have to give me your bed. I'm fine with the couch. Trust me, I've slept on worse things."
He shakes his head no. "No, absolutely not. You'll sleep here."
"Where will you sleep then?"
"I don't sleep much, so I'm just going to work in my office."
I remember Mia telling me as a kid Christian had nightmares. I even heard them myself when I'd sleep over there. Does he still have them now?
"You can work in here if you want?" I offer. I really don't want to kick the guy out of his own bed. Again.
"Just bring your laptop in here? I promise I won't disturb you and I don't snore... I think. Well, no one's told me I snore."
I try my hardest to make him relax.
"I promise I don't bite." I offer a reassuring smile, in hopes to win him over but I think all I did was make him even more uncomfortable.
Poor guy probably thinks you want to jump him. Oh my... Maybe he is gay.
"I concentrate more in my office."
I nod my head in understanding and he takes his leave. I snuggle into the massive bed and close my eyes. God, why is it always awkward with him?
Come to think of it, I don't think he had a single friend as a kid... Well I certainly didn't see him hanging around other kids. It was a rare sighting to see him play with his own siblings even. I finally succumb to sleep with thoughts of a little Christian drifting through my head.
I awake to the most delectable smell gracing the air. My stomach rumbles as I stretch ungracefully across the bed.
"I take it you're hungry then?" I yelp in shock and nearly fall out of the damn bed as Christians voice startles me.
I turn and see he's next to me. In bed. With his laptop in his lap. He's over the covers and there's a substantial amount of distance between us but still...
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."
I shake my head, "No, no it's fine. I was just shocked is all."
My stomach growls again and I can't help but giggle.
"But yeah, I could definitely eat."
I watch as he gets out of bed and heads out. I wonder how long he sat here working. Scratch that, I wonder why he changed his mind... I'm not weirded out or anything, I did in fact suggest he stay; he just seemed so adamant about working in his office, almost like it was painful for him to even think about being in the same bed as me.
Can you blame the man?
No, I guess I can't.
My mouth salivates as I take in the food before me. I take a seat at the breakfast bar and start piling food onto my plate.
"God, I love food. Especially breakfast food."
I hear the smoothest chuckle from next to me and I whip my head towards Christian, with eyes wide.
"Did you just laugh?" I ask aloud.
He quirks a brow and pours himself some coffee. "I'm not a robot, Anastasia. I do have some human qualities."
I can't tell if that was meant to be a joke or not but I laugh regardless. It's seems so impossible that of all the years I've known this man, I've never heard his laugh. I decide not to dwell on it much longer and continue shoveling food onto my plate.
Scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, sausage, hash browns... It's like he has a direct link to my fantasies.
"Did you cook all this?" I ask
"No, my housekeeper, Gail, prepared it all. Are you sure you're able to eat all of that?"
I almost laugh at his question.
"Christian, please. I'll be able to eat this and have room for seconds. You underestimate my love for breakfast, sir."
Christians chokes on his coffee but recovers not a moment after.
"Are you okay?" I ask, my mouth full of eggs.
Real classy.
He clears his throat, "Yes, just... Hot."
I nod and turn back to my food.
I sit there, barely able to keep myself from toppling over the stool. I'm surprised the tee I'm wearing didn't rip into sheds with all the food I shoveled into my mouth.
I didn't lie, I ate all my food and had seconds. I finish off my orange juice and just sit there for another moment, eyes closed, recovering.
"You really do love your breakfast."
I manage to nod my head. Opening my eyes, I sigh and stand up. I start gathering the dishes and get to cleaning.
"Gail will do that, it's fine, Anastasia."
"Are you sure? I really don't mind. It'll-"
"Nonsense." He cuts me off, standing from his stool.
"Why don't you have a shower, get dressed and we can talk?"
My brows rise on their own accord.
"Talk?" I repeat like an idiot.
"Yes, talk. There are some clothes for you in the en-suite. I have some work to do so take your time."
With that, he leaves me in the kitchen looking like a gaping fish. I feel as though this whole situation should be... Odd; but I just can't bring myself to really care. If I'm being completely honest with myself, being here, if only for a night, has helped me not to dwell on the intervention at all.
I wonder why that is?
I make my way to Christian's en-suite. I didn't spend time admiring it the last time I was here but now that I'm not hungover and in a rush to high tail it out of here, I can actually take my time to appreciate the deep claw foot bath tub that I'm dying to take advantage of.
I waste no time filling the tub and stripping out of my clothes. I grab the bag off the counter and find brand new clothes in there. How the hell did he know my bra size?
I grab the new toothbrush that's in there and start brushing my teeth. As I continue brushing, staring at myself in the mirror, I remember that my phone has been turned off since last night. Still needing the distance between everyone, I decide it'd be best to keep it off.
The sounds coming out of my mouth as I sink into this glorious tub is unearthly.
I lean back, close my eyes and just relax. Thoughts of Christian pop into my head. Why is he doing all of this for me? He's been taking such good care of me and I've never really had a man do that for me, well not without expecting anything in return. Except for Ethan I guess. Surely he has some sort of motive? Sure we kind of grew up together but we've always been more of... acquaintances than anything.
Maybe he's just a nice guy? You ever thought of that?
Yeah well, I thought Ethan was just a nice guy and look how that turned out. Is that what I'm doing here? Trading one Ethan for the next? No. Right?
6 years ago.
I manage to sneak down the staircase without making a single sound. As I creep pass the kitchen, I freeze. Someone's in there. Shit.
I pop my head in and see the back of Christian as he grabs something out of the freezer. I didn't know he was back from college? I'm about to make a dash pass the entry way when he turns to the counter. I quickly move away, my back plastered to the wall.
I pop my head back around the corner and see him holding a packet of frozen vegetables on his jaw. Did he get into a fight?
He turns toward the sink and I make my escape. I quietly open the door, leaving it on the latch, it doesn't make a sound when I close it.
I run to the boat house in a fast pace. Closing the door behind me, I walk into the darkness.
"Ethan?" I quietly call out. I walk in further, greeted with nothing but silence.
Suddenly, I'm grabbed from behind and am being spun around. I laugh as we both fall to the ground.
Ethan silences my laughter with his lips. Kissing me hungrily. The feel of his tongue on mine gives me tingles all over and I start feeling wet down there.
We pull away from each other and I try to catch my breath.
"Took you long enough." He says with a smirk.
"Sorry, Christian was in the kitchen, I had to wait until it was safe."
Ethan scowls and pulls two joints and two small bottles of vodka out of his jacket's pocket.
"Guys a fucking weirdo, Annie. Stay away from him."
I scowl back at Ethan. "He's not a weirdo, E. He just doesn't... Like to talk a lot."
"Whatever. Here, drink some of this." I take the bottle and do what I'm told. I cringe at the taste and can't help but cough. Ethan sits there laughing, he takes a swig of his bottle and doesn't seem effected by the taste at all.
"You'll get used it over time, don't worry."
I nod my head and take another swig. Ethan pulls out a lighter and puts a joint into his mouth. Before he lights it, he looks to me and takes it out of his mouth.
"Listen, Annie. You don't do this with anyone else, you hear me?"
I nod my head, eager to feel the high I've grown to love... And need.
"I mean it." I look to him and notice the seriousness on his handsome face.
"Anything you want to try, anything you want to do. You do it with me. No one else. We can do all this shit together and I'll make sure you enjoy it okay? I'll keep you safe. There are some sick fuckers out there who'll only take advantage of a girl in your state."
I frown at the use of his words. "What do you mean a girl in my state?" I ask.
"You know... Drunk and blazed."
I relax and nod my head. He lights up the joint, takes two hits and then passes it to me.
It doesn't take too long for the effect to kick in and for that I'm grateful. I feel Ethan's lips on my neck and my head rolls to the side, giving him better access to it. I take another hit but before I can exhale, Ethan grabs my face and put his mouth on mine. I exhale into his mouth, his tongue sliding along my bottom lip.
"'Mmmm you make it taste sweet."
I lay back as Ethan continues his glorious assault on my body; licking, kissing, nipping his way around. I feel the hardness between his legs and open my legs wider for him. He grinds himself on me and it's the most intense feeling I've ever felt. A soft moan escapes my lips. I hear Ethan chuckle against my neck and I can't help but feel a tad embarrassed. I've never done anything like this before, he can probably tell.
I hear the sound of grass rustling from outside and turn to see the dark outline of someone through the hazy glass. I quickly sit up and shove Ethan off of me.
"What's wrong?" He asks, confusion etched on his face.
"I think there's someone out there." I say, panic lacing my voice. "I think they were watching us."
Ethan shakes his head and pulls me into his arms. "It's just the weed, Ana. It can make you paranoid."
I sink into Ethan's body and nod my head, forgetting all about it and focusing on the good times.
The sound of knocking startles me out of my memories and I sit up taller in the tub.
"Anastasia, are you alright? You've been in there for a while." Christians voice comes through the door.
I hop out of the now cold tub and wrap a large fluffy towel around my body.
"I'm fine, sorry, I must've zoned out for a while. I'll be out there soon." I call back.
I shake my head and stare at my reflection in the mirror.
"Stop it." I tell myself. "Stop thinking about him."
I see Christian sitting on the couch and make my way over there.
He's typing away on his phone as I sit in the chair opposite him.
"Did you enjoy your bath?" He asks, his eyes still glued to the screen on his phone.
"I did, very much actually. I might have to break in every now and then to use it." I tuck my legs under my butt and look around the place as Christian continues typing on his phone.
"So, I wanted to talk to you about possible employment at my company, Anastasia. Is that something you'd be interested in?"
I sit there, in stupid silence as Christian places his phone in the pocket of his pants and sits back, crossing his leg so his ankle is resting on his knee.
Stop staring at the mans legs and answer him.
"Uh, Christian... I'm really grateful you'd offer but I can find something for myself."
He quirks his brow, "What's wrong with my company?"
"Oh, nothing... Nothing at all! But it's just... I don't have anything to offer your company. Trust me, you don't want to hire me." I laugh but end up clearing my throat in awkwardness.
"My father seems to think it'd be beneficial for me to hire you. He seemed quite confident of it yesterday evening when were discussing it."
I sit up straight at this new bit of information. So that's why Christian was there? Did Carrick really have a job offer for me?
"I didn't think you'd want to discuss this with him so I thought I'd offer the job personally."
Christian wants me to work for him? Is that what this is all about? Does he think I'm some charity case?
"Look, Christian. Again, I appreciate the offer but I'll most likely stuff this up somehow. It's kind of my talent."
"I disagree. I think this would be also be beneficial for you, Anastasia. Your life isn't running the smoothest right now, you're living your life on a get by basis; this can help you. You can find actual purpose, reason and responsibility."
I close my eyes and let out a clipped laugh. I see what this is. Wow, I just can't catch a break.
"Okay, let me guess, Carrick and Grace put you up to this?"
His brows pinch together in what is supposed to look like confusion and I fold my arms. Oh he's good.
"They get you to watch over me, make sure I don't drink myself into a coma and then you give me a one on one? Is that it? Because you know, that makes a whole lot of sense. Fuck, I did it again."
I stand up from my seat and head to grab my stuff.
"This is exactly what happened with Ethan." I mutter.
"I'd appreciate it if you refrain from comparing me to that poor excuse of a man." The venom in Christians voice can't be missed.
I grab my bag and shoes and head to the elevator.
"He, a 19 year old boy. Took advantage of a young girl who was obviously in grieving. He was given the responsibility of looking out for you when all he did was enable your choices, making them easy for you to make. The alcohol, the drugs, the sex."
I turn around and face Christian in the eye, I can feel my body shaking in anger.
"What the fuck do you know about any of it? Huh? News flash, we never spoke as children, played as children, you never even looked my fucking way. You can blame Ethan all you want, Christian, but he was actually there, he actually made me forget, he made me live again."
He stands there, his stupid handsome face so impassive I just want to fucking hit it.
"If that's what your idea of living is then maybe you two are better off together." He simply states.
"Like you know what living is? Here you are with your tower in the sky-"
"I know a lot more than you think." He cuts me off.
"Your life? I've lived it. I know what's it like to be taken advantage of, to think someone is helping you when they're only helping themselves. I know it all too well."
I think about his nightmares and suddenly remember his fear of touch, all of us being told as children not to touch certain areas of his body. How did I forget about that?
"You can't fight everyone who wants to help you, Anastasia. You're so quick to run in denial it's unhealthy. I don't agree with how last night's events were handled and my brothers wife ability to butt into the lives of others will never cease to amaze me, but you do need help."
He steps closer to me and wipes the stray tear that has escaped my eye. I turn my head, ashamed that I'm crying, yet again. Ashamed that I stuck up for Ethan even though be betrayed me.
Christian grabs my bag and shoes out of my hand and places them to the side. He tilts my chin up, his silver eyes staring into my blues.
"I can help you, Anastasia. You just have to trust me. I know it's a lot to ask right now but who else can you turn to? There's only destruction waiting for you at home."
"Ana." I say as I sniff. He stares at me, brows pinched.
"I prefer to be called Ana. I tried to get used to you calling me Anastasia but I just can't."
"But it's such a beautiful name." He tells me.
"Yeah well, it makes me feel like I'm about to get punished."
Please let me know your honest thoughts.