DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the character you are about to read about. I do not own anybody. Damn.

The second that Harry Potter stepped onto Platform 9 and ¾ for his seventh and final year, heads turned. And this time it wasn't because he was The-Boy-Who-Lived, for everyone didn't even know who this mysterious stranger was. The students were hoping it was their newest Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher (their last one was eaten by the colony of Acromantulas in the Dark Forest), while the parents were hoping he was dropping off a younger sibling (yes, even the married ones).

Now, you may be asking yourself, why is everyone looking at Mr. Harry Potter like he is the best dessert they will ever have? Well, to tell you the truth, over the past two months, he became hot. Now, I don't just mean, drop dead gorgeous, I mean so hot that everyone wants him, even the people who don't swing that way.

Over the summer, the Dursley's made him work with a local construction company (they said it was to pay them back for everything over the years). Harry, not being one to complain, agreed. His theory was that it would take his mind off everything that was going on in his life and get him out of the house. Well, after two months of working outdoors from sunrise to sunset, our favorite hero developed somewhat of a gorgeous tan and some killer muscles. Also, with the money that the Dursley's managed not to steal, Harry went out and bought himself new glasses and a whole new wardrobe. The end result: so hot you could cook an egg on him.

But enough of that; lets go back to our hero. When Harry stepped onto the platform, he was not as oblivious as everyone thinks. He noticed that everyone was staring at him. But he though it was either because he was The-Boy-Who-Lived, or he a huge stain from breakfast on the front of his shirt. So he looked down at the white tank top he had on. No stain. He looked back up and smiled at the people around him, which in turn made them all blush and look away. He was about to ask someone what was wrong when he saw his best friends, looking for him.

"Ron, Mione! How about we go and get a compartment before they're all full?" he asked as he approached them from behind.

"There you are! We," what ever they were though was lost as they turned around and got a good look at their best friend who they hadn't seen all summer.

"What?" Harry asked as he saw them giving him the same response that everyone else on the platform was giving him. "Is there something wrong? Do I have a huge something that I'm just not seeing?"

While his friends pondered over the irony of the question, Seamus came up beside them and asked, "aren't you guys going to introduce me to your friend?" as he looked Harry up and down.

"Seamus, its me, Harry," by this point, Harry was a little annoyed.

"Harry? Damn. Can I eat you?"


"What he means is," Hermione started to interject.

"Can I eat you? You are massively hot. I want to see what you taste like."

While Hermione and Ron were throwing a fit about the inappropriateness of that statement, Harry leaned over and whispered in Seamus' ear, "I taste like chocolate and strawberries." He then dragged the still protesting Hermione and Ron away from the open mouthed Seamus.

When they were in the safety of their compartment, Ron asked, "what did you tell Seamus, I don't think I have ever seen him like that. If I had a camera, I would have taken a picture."

Harry shrugged. "I told him what I tasted like."

This time it was Hermione and Ron who were shocked. When Hermione finally found her voice, she asked, "and how exactly would you know what you taste like?"

Harry leaned forward and said, "extensive research." He then leaned back and asked the question he had wanted to ask since he saw everyone staring at him. "Now, I have a question. Why exactly is everyone looking at me funny?"

"Have you looked in a mirror lately? You're hot. And I don't just mean hot, you have a god-like appearance to you that makes you seem other worldly."

Harry just stared at his friend. He then turned to Ron and asked, "Is this true?"

The red head just managed to nod. "I hate to break it to you, but even I kinda want you, and I am in love with Hermione."

"Wow. That would explain a lot then." Harry was silent as he pondered the ramifications of his new exquisiteness. Once the train had started, he asked another question. "And you think everyone wants me?"

Startled by the abruptness of the question, Hermione answered, "Everyone. I think when we get to school; even Professor Snape would want you."

"Really? That's interesting. Can I get your help on something?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"Well, I don't know how you guys are going to take this, but I'm in love."

"That's great! Who is it? How long? Why didn't you tell us sooner?" exclaimed a very excited Hermione.

"Well, the thing is, you don't like him very much, at least I don't think so."

"Well, that shouldn't, wait, did you just say him?" asked Ron.

Harry smiled. "Surprise! I'm gay, well, bi really. You aren't going to hate me now, are you?"

"No, why should it matter? We still like Seamus. Except when his gets a little too excited and starts hitting on everything with two legs," answered Ron with a shudder.

"Anyways, can you guys still help me?"

"Depends. What exactly would this help entail?" the ever thoughtful Hermione asked.

"Not much, just try to be nice to him when you find out who it is and try not to let on that I actually do get their sexual innuendoes. If they knew that, I don't think I would be able to walk down the hall without getting jumped. Especially by Seamus. And as sexy as he is, he's not my type."

"You can't be serious!"

"Actually, I can be. In case you have forgotten, that is my godfather."

"Harry! That's all you want us to do?"

"Yeah, if you could be nice, that would help a lot. But I think that I could do a lot on my own. After all, I am Quiddich captain and Head Boy."

"You're Head Boy? Congratulations! I was wondering who I would be working with!" Hermione exclaimed.

"Congratulations on making Head Girl. Although, it isn't that much of a surprise."

"So, who is it that you love?" Ron asked, desperate to change the subject.

"I'm not going to tell you, it might ruin my chances," answered Harry with a grin.

"How could it ruin your chances?"

"Someone might overhear, you might tell people, and you would look at him differently. I really don't want to risk it. Besides, I don't even know if he is gay yet."

"You don't know, Harry!"


"You are going to seduce someone who could not even like guys!"


Whatever Hermione might have retorted was cut off as the door was flung open to reveal Draco Malfoy standing on the other side. "Well, well. I guess the rumors are true."

"What rumors?" asked Harry.

"The rumors that the new teacher is hot. Although, why you would want to hang around these Gryffindor scum is beyond me."

"There's a new teacher? And he's hot? Where is he?" Harry asked, now very excited. Beside him, Hermione and Ron were struggling to control their laughter.

"You mean you aren't the new teacher?" asked a very confused Draco.

"No, I'm the Head Boy. But could you direct me to this hot new teacher? I feel it is my duty to welcome him properly."

"If you aren't the new teacher, then there is no new teacher. Who exactly are you?"

"You don't recognize me? And here I thought our relationship meant more to you then that. After all, I think we've set a new record for the number of fights during one week."

"Potter?" a disbelieving Malfoy sputtered.

"You do remember! I feel so lucky! Now, I was trying to have a decent conversation with my friends before you so rudely interrupted. So take the hint and leave."

Malfoy stood there for a few more seconds before slamming the door shut, breaking the glass. "Wow, that was amazing. I don't think I've ever seen him so flushed. Do it again," Ron said in a dreamy voice as his girlfriend fixed the door.

Harry just laughed and went back to planning his seduction of his mystery lover with his friends.