By Biankies and Anjion
A/N: This is a collaboration between me and my good friend, Biankies, and is a tribute to our 3 favourite sidekicks, Babkak, Omar and Kassim (specifically those from the original Broadway cast).
Disclaimer: We don't own any of the characters except Mac, Lacey and ourselves. Please read and review!
AA/N: Mac and Lacey are Newsies. Mac is the doctor to her friends and Lacey is Spot's second-in-command and annoys him mercilessly! Enjoy!
(A typical day in Agrabah; laughing, dancing, street merchants selling their wares. And, in the case of a large group of friends, starving.)
OMAR: I'm hungry.
KASSIM: Me too.
BABKAK: Me three.
(Behind them, two of their other friends, Biankies and Anjion - otherwise known as Mouse and Stars - smirk at each other and signal to a nearby street vendor, who nods back. Then they catch Babkak's eye and he responds.)
BABKAK: (quietly) Hey, Omar, see that street vendor over there? Go get something off his stall while he's not looking.
OMAR: Why me? Every time I steal something, I feel awful.
BABKAK: Cause we're all hungry, you're the fastest, and besides, it's your turn.
OMAR: (nervously) OK...
(He goes quickly across to the stall, makes sure no one is looking, then grabs one of the loaves on the stall. But the vendor looks up at the last minute and sees him!)
VENDOR: Hey! Put that back!
(Omar backs away, then turns to run.)
VENDOR: STOP THIEF!
(And then the palace guards appear...)
KASSIM: Everyone, RUN!
(The group bolts, and suddenly find themselves running into a strange portal, followed by the guards...)
(A pair of hands reaches out and grabs the first two people, Anjion and Omar, by the shirts and pulls them around a corner and out of sight. The others follow just in time to see the vendor and guards pass by.)
BIANKIES: Where are we?
OMAR: I don't know but at least they didn't see us.
BABKAK: (looking at the stranger) Hey, thanks for helping.
MINHO: You're welcome. But you gotta get out of here; the Grievers ain't happy.
OMAR: (his face falling) The G-G-Grievers? I d-d-don't like them...
NEWT: Yeah, we've got Cranks in here too now.
(A loud roaring shriek is heard, causing Omar to cry out in terror and dive at Anjion and Biankies, who fall over.)
OMAR: DON'T LET THEM EAT ME!
KASSIM: (looking pale) Not those guys again! Let's get outta here!
BIANKIES: Omar, get up or they will eat us.
MINHO: Less talking, more running!
(He pulls Omar up, allowing Biankies and Anjion to stand up.)
BABKAK: (annoyed) Why do you always want to run?
MINHO: (pointing at an approaching Griever) Because its a good idea!
(Omar and Kassim both flee at top speed and disappear. The rest of us follow, although we know that this is the fake Griever...)
BABKAK: (puffing) Guys, slow down!
(Suddenly, the guards and the vendor appear again! But they barely notice us as they dash past, followed by... 3 Cranks!)
GALLY: Uh oh...
ANJION: No! That wasn't part of the plan! We've gotta find a way out of here...
GALLY: I don't normally agree with Minho, but now I think running would be good!
BABKAK: I second that!
(We start running as fast as we can which is surprisingly fast for the previously complaining Babkak and the computer nerd known as Mouse...)
(As we dash headlong, our surroundings suddenly change from stone Maze to bushy Maze. It is very dark, and there are spooky noises coming from all around. A sudden loud noise startles Omar and he leaps into Kassim's arms, whimpering.)
KASSIM: Omar, don't be such a bab-
(A large 3-headed dog comes running round the bend, slavering and growling, and Kassim squeals. He drops Omar and leaps on the person next to him, who happens to be Babkak. Babkak glares at him.)
ANJION: Race, quick! Play your harmonica!
RACE: (confused) Why?
ANJION: Just do it!
(The Newsie does so and the huge animal falls over and starts to snore loudly.)
ANJION: Keep playing, Race! Come on, run!
(Biankies squeaks randomly, pointing at the dog and then at a peculiar woman with wild hair...)
SWIFTY: (who speaks Chew Toy) Who's Bellatrix?
MUSH: She doesn't look too scary.
KASSIM: Anything is better than a three headed dog!
ANJION: Oh no! Bellatrix! She's our second worst nightmare! (After Voldemort, of course.) Let's hope she doesn't see us!
(We all creep along very slowly and quietly... and then Snoddy sneezes. Very loudly. Bellatrix whirls around and sees us! Everyone glares at Snoddy, and he mimes "sorry".)
BELLATRIX: (in her menacingly cheerful way) Coo-ee! Hello there, children! Care for a game? Avada Kedavra!
(Luckily the spell misses everyone, and those of the group who are less scared (which, amazingly, includes Mouse this time) grab as many people as possible and run, dodging the flashes of green light...)
KASSIM: What is avada ke- what she said?
BIANKIES: Something you never want to get hit by.
RON: (appearing out of nowhere) She's right. You never want to get hit by that.
(His sudden appearance startles the already nervous Biankies and Omar and they jump, squeaking, onto the closest person, who happens to be Anjion.)
ANJION: Ow. Ron, help, please?
(Ron pushes Omar and Biankies off Anjion and helps both girls up.)
(As we continue on through the maze, Biankies, Anjion and - randomly - Omar find themselves holding wands.)
RON: In case you need them. (He vanishes)
(The girls wave their wands – Omar just stares at his – and manage to disapperate everyone...and reappear in front of a very angry Snape...)
LACEY: Uh oh... Quick! Through that strange hole in the ground...
(We all jump in and find ourselves in a pleasant looking little place, which has a number of little hills each with a round door in it...)
OMAR: This place looks a lot better than the other place.
BIANKIES: Yeah, and at least we haven't seen any big beasties yet.
OMAR: I agree, I don't want to see any more three headed dogs.
KASSIM: It's not that bad. If we run into trouble we can always run the other way. So be a man.
BABKAK: Did somebody say ham?
EVERYONE: Not now, Babkak!
GANDALF: Welcome to Hobbiton, my friends.
SNITCH: (confused) Where?
MERRY: (appearing from nowhere) Let's go see Sam and Rosie. They might give us cookies...
(Suddenly, the sound of many hoofbeats thunders towards us.)
PIPPIN: (appearing out of nowhere) Oh no! Black Riders!
(Kassim - of all people - starts to squeak and does the physically impossible by climbing up to the very point of Gandalf's hat. Gandalf glares, moves his staff, and suddenly Kassim is transformed into a little monkey with black hair and a red waistcoat and fez... He glares at the wizard and goes to sulk on Biankies' shoulder.)
GANDALF: Quickly! This way you fools!
(We run after Gandalf as fast as we can, but we are cut off by a pair of riders...)
SWIFTY: I would suggest -
OMAR: (rather randomly) AAAAAGHH!
SWIFTY: I was going to say "running", but screaming's definitely an option.
(Omar runs off, crying in fright, accidentally finding the tunnel that Gandalf has gone down...)
ANJION: (noticing) This way people!
(We slide down a hole and land in a rather familiar looking place...)
KASSIM: (having turned back into his human self) Not this place again!
SPOT: I really hope we don't run into those guys again!
(Just then a pair of shadows can be seen approaching us...)
GANDALF: And here I must leave you. (He turns and disappears back through the portal, which vanishes.)
ANJION: (looking after the wizard) Well that just sucks. Right when we could have used him too.
SPOT: (to the shadows) So, who are you?
(The two shadows get closer, and then Darth Vader and Kylo Ren burst forth, bearing their lightsabers... Omar, finding himself face to face with a scary creature wearing a scary black mask, very gracefully faints.)
MAC: Oh no...
SWIFTY: How does running sound?
BABKAK: No use. I think they already saw us.
BIANKIES: They don't need to see us to know we're here. Where is a Jedi when you need one?
(We back up slowly, hoping to escape...)
KASSIM: (who has Omar slung over his shoulder) Hurry up and think of something! This guy is heavy!
RACE: How so? He's thin as a rake!
LACEY: (to Mac) That's true...
(Suddenly Luke Skywalker swings in, followed by R2-D2 and C-3PO.)
LUKE: Don't worry, I'll save you!
C-3PO: Look, R2, it's a lot of boys! (R2 beeps) Yes, I can see the girls; I was just about to –
LUKE: C-3PO, could you stop flirting for one moment and help me out?
(R2 beeps again; it is clear he is chuckling.)
C-3PO: I am certainly not flirting, I was simply...
(During all this, everyone else is standing there, frozen in shock and blinking like idiots.)
BABKAK: (coming to his senses first) OK, what are we supposed to do now?
SWIFTY: I vote running!
BIANKIES: (raising a hand) I second that, all in favour?
(Everyone raises their hands.)
KASSIM: He's still heavy, guys!
BABKAK: Right, lead the way, Stars.
ANJION: All right... (leans down and whispers to R2, who beeps rapidly) OK, R2 says we should go this way!
SKITTERY: You understood him?
ANJION: Sure! So can Mouse! It's our story...
(We all dash for the exit and find ourselves whizzing down a long vortex, during which time Anjion turns into a penguin called Ford and Biankies' legs float off into the sunset... We're back to normal by the time we reach the other end, though...)
BIANKIES: I never want that to happen again. I like my legs.
SPOT: Yeah, and Penguin Stars is almost as bad as Leprechaun Stars...
[A/N: This is referring to another story in which Anjion was a Leprechaun with a terrible and scary Irish accent.]
KASSIM: Yeah, you can say that again.
(We swallow and nervously step back as Anjion glares at us...)
BIANKIES: (smiling innocently) Oh, hey Stars. Where are we?
SPECS: It's kinda dark...
ANJION: You know, I think we're inside a theatre...
MUSH: (to Blink) It doesn't look anything like Irving Hall...
STRANGE VOICE: Hey! What're you guys doing here? The theatre ain't open yet!
FAMILIAR VOICE: It's OK, Corey, I know these people...
(And out of the shadows pops Andrew Keenan-Bolger and Corey Cott...)
(We girls squeal loudly as we spot our friends...)
SPOT: (wincing) I am deaf now.
LACEY: Get over it, you big baby.
SPOT: (glaring dangerously) What did you say?
BABKAK: (stepping between the two) Okay, break it up. (to Andrew) So how have you been?
ANDREW: Hey Mouse, Stars. (Anjion and Biankies squeak again at being addressed directly...) Not bad, thanks. We're just chillin'...
COREY: Hey, these guys look kinda like Newsies.
ANDREW: They are Newsies...
(Suddenly, a loud yelling fills the air and the palace guards reappear.)
ANDREW: (angry) Excuse me, what do you think you're doi - YIKES! (as the palace guards charge him. He jumps sideways just in time!)
RACE: Looks like we're running again...
(We all run as fast as we can and dodge into an alley when we see the all too familiar faces that no Newsie – or even non-Newsie – likes...)
SPOT: Please tell me I'm just seeing things.
SWIFTY: Nope, its Pulitzer, Hearst and Snyder.
(We all back away slowly until Omar, who has come round by now, trips and falls onto Andrew who knocks over a garbage can...)
ANDREW: (winded) Owwww...
(The three bullies turn at the almighty crash and start advancing, grinning with malice.)
ANJION: (to Biankies) Hey Mouse, shall we run?
(We all run as fast as possible, and then we all split, unknowingly leaving Omar and Kassim running ahead. Omar manages to miss the open manhole, but Kassim runs straight into the hole.)
(Pulitzer, unable to stop, falls in after him.)
MAC: (to Lacey) Oops, we didn't mean that to happen...
SNITCH: (rejoining us) Hey, Snyder and Hearst have just gone past screaming blue murder. Where's Pulitzer?
LACEY: Down a manhole.
BOOTS: (seeing Omar) And wasn't there another colourful guy? Where's he?
ANJION: Down a manhole. Under Pulitzer.
BIANKIES: Okay, someone needs to go help Kassim. Any volunteers?
(Andrew, Corey and Omar raise their hands.)
SWIFTY: You know you gotta get Pulitzer out too right?
OMAR: (sounding nervous) Can't we just get Kassim and then run for it?
LACEY: Omar, we gotta get Pulitzer out before we can get to Kassim.
SKITTERY: (hopefully) We could just push Joe in again after?
(No one takes any notice of him as the rescue begins...)
(A little while later, we are on the move again, with Aladdin supporting a very dazed and bruised Kassim.)
KASSIM: Why is it that most Disney sidekicks can just bounce back up with no ill effects and I can't?
ANJION: Because that privilege is reserved for evil sidekicks...
ANDREW: (nervously) Er, guys, that Snyder's found us...
BIANKIES: Have any of you seen Iago?
IAGO: (appearing out of nowhere) You called...?
OMAR: Why him?!
BIANKIES: (ignoring Omar) We need a bit of a distraction.
Iago: (grinning evilly) I got this...
(He disappears back the way we came. Shortly after we hear a Boom!, and we are showered with bits of rubble and burnt fabric. Iago returns, chuckling darkly.)
IAGO: That should slow them down...
ALADDIN: What did you do?
IAGO: Oh, I just threw a little exploding powder at those guys. It's Jafar's favourite party trick. It only takes a little heat to set it off!
ANJION: (eyeing Kassim, who looks a little hot) You'd better keep it away from Kassim, then...
KASSIM: Oh, ha ha.
MAC: Come on, guys! Let's get out of here!
BIANKIES: Great idea. Iago, stay near the back, okay? We might need your exploding powder again.
(We run as fast as we can to get away from Snyder, but as we come around the corner Anjion runs straight into a Palace Guard with the Delanceys not far behind him...)
ANJION: (as the guard grabs her) Mouse, help!
(But Race gets there first and charges, yelling and waving the sword that he's suddenly found in his hands. Upon discovering the weapons in their grip, the other Newsies charge too, except for Crutchie who just waves his "Strike!" banner.)
OMAR: I don't like weapons because – (his eyes fall upon the huge sword he is holding) this thing is AWESOME!
(The guards and the Delanceys, who have no chance against the angry rabble, let Anjion go and retreat a little. We continue to run at the guards until we fall through a previously unseen hole and land in a jungle that seems more like a child's story book than a real place...)
KASSIM: Where are we?
BIANKIES: The coolest place ever. (She smiles, but then she spots Omar about to touch a rather sharp plant...) Omar, don't!
(Too late, he has touched it, and he yells in pain and surprise.)
OMAR: (almost disbelieving) My finger's bleeding. (He starts to cry.)
BIANKIES: (whispers to Anjion) Here we go again.
MAC: Omar, come here... (She produces a packet of plasters from her pocket.)
ANDREW: Did they even have plasters in 1899?
MAC: (shrugging) Apparently.
(She quickly tends to Omar's finger and gives him a hug, and he stops crying.)
KASSIM: Hey, Omar, you look funny!
ANJION: (to Kassim) So do you. (She looks around) Hey, so do you, Mouse! And you, Andrew! It's like we're all cartoons!
BALOO: (suddenly appearing) And what are you doing in my bed?
(Biankies, who was busy glaring at Anjion, squeaks and jumps onto her, along with Andrew and Omar who are also yelling with fright...)
BALOO: Well I didn't mean to scare them.
ANJION: (wheezing) Well then, you can help me get them off!
(Baloo obligingly lifts the two boys off by their collars and sets them gently down, and they both run and hide behind Babkak. Biankies picks herself up and dusts herself off.)
(We start making our way through the jungle, until we realise that Omar is no longer with us. We look back to see him staring stupidly into the spinning eyes of a large, cartoon Indian python...)
BIANKIES: Oh great, we forgot to warn everyone about Kaa!
KASSIM: (rather nervously) Big snake, very big snake!
BALOO: Kaa! Leave him alone!
ANDREW: Stars! Do something!
(Anjion hurls herself at Omar and knocks him out of Kaa's eyeline. However, she has misjudged it and they both roll down a bank and into a tree.)
OMAR AND ANJION: Ow... (They get up and stagger back to the group.)
BALOO: (to Kaa) Get outta here, before I tie you in a knot.
(Kaa scowls and slithers off. Anjion turns to Biankies and opens her mouth, but before she can speak, 3 very angry – and rather battered – men come growling out of the trees...)
MUSH: Quick! Into this random bush made of newspaper!
(We dash through and find ourselves, to our dismay, trapped in a dead end alley in Manhattan, with the bullies getting ever closer...)
ALADDIN: I think we need a little magical assistance...
BIANKIES: Whatever you have in mind, do it!
(The others decide it's a good idea to hide behind Anjion...)
ALADDIN: GENIE! WE COULD USE SOME HELP!
(The Genie pops into existence with the carpet, smiling widely.)
GENIE: You called?
KASSIM: Not the carpet again...
(He reluctantly climbs onto the carpet and proceeds to grab onto Biankies, who also looks like she'd rather be somewhere else. The carpet takes off and flies out of reach just in time.)
GENIE: (in the manner of a jolly tour bus conductor) All aboard, ladies and gentlemen, please keep your arms, legs and other limbs inside the carpet at all times. Our next stop will be at a marvellous landmark called the Brooklyn Bridge, so get your cameras at the ready and don't forget to ask if you'd like a holiday snap with me...
OMAR: What's a camera?
(Before anyone can respond, Biankies starts squeaking loudly, as does Skittery.)
ANJION AND ANDREW: (frantically) Genie! Genie, look out!...
(We collide with the side of a warehouse just shy of the bridge, and end up tangled up in the carpet, with Kassim right at the bottom...)
BABKAK: That's the last time I'm flying...
MAC: Okay. Now, as the president of the Kassim Rescue Club, I feel it is my job to say ... Get off!
(We scramble to get off the now unconscious Kassim...)
OMAR: I hope he'll be okay.
MAC: He'll be fine. Now let's get him to the Lodging House. He can get some rest there.
(We reach the Lodging House with no further incident and all pile inside. As soon as he sees a bed, Omar yawns hugely and rubs his eyes.)
ANJION: (to Biankies) I think we've worn him out, Mouse! (to the boys) Come on, bed time, boys!
(A short while later, everyone, including us, is in bed. Omar looks especially sweet with his teddy and his thumb in his mouth, and Kassim is topless... As soon as we are sure everyone else is asleep, Biankies, Mac, Lacey and Anjion all get up again and pull out our wonderful hair products, ready to begin the final part of our plan...)
LACEY: Are you guys sure you want to do this?
MAC: Oh, quieten down. They won't know who did it.
ANJION: And even if they do find out, what can they do about it? After all, they aren't the ones writing the story... Come on, let's do this!
(We quickly complete our task and, barely stifling our giggles, go back to bed.)
(Next morning, in the washroom)
(Everyone else, including Aladdin and Babkak, falls over and rolls about the floor, crying with laughter at the sight of their bright pink and purple hair!)
KASSIM: GET IT OFF!
LES: It won't come off...
BABKAK: (chuckling) Two express haircuts coming up... (he holds up a large pair of scissors)
KASSIM: (as Babkak advances) Keep those away from me...
(Babkak proceeds to chase his friend around the room.)
BIANKIES: Well as entertaining as their pink and purple hair is, I am sure they won't be the same with haircuts...
MAC: Especially not with Babkak giving them.
KASSIM: (to Babkak) Don't you dare!
MAC, ANJION AND BIANKIES: No Babkak!
(We all rush to save our funny haired friends...)
ANJION: Babkak, stop! I'm sure Genie can fix it!
(The Genie appears in a puff of smoke)
GENIE: Somebody called? (Everyone points to Kassim and Omar's hair) Oh, I can fix that!
(A few moments later, Kassim stands glaring at Genie, Omar looks thoroughly bewildered and Race is deadpanning marvellously. This is because the pink and purple hair has gone, and in its place is ... a rainbow coloured, polka-dot afro.)
GENIE: Heh, heh, oops... (he tries again, this time getting it right.)
KASSIM: (slowly) Why do I get the feeling that this whole thing was a set-up?
(Nobody replies; instead, we laugh harder if this is possible!)
OMAR: Mouse, Stars, anything you want to tell us? (Gives us a knowing look.)
KASSIM: I should have guessed. (he glares at us)
BIANKIES: (sounding as calm as ever) Well, Stars, I think this is the part where we get outta here.
ANJION: Mouse, I do agree. (shouts loudly) LET'S GO!
(And they run for their lives, laughing all the way!)
ANJION: Well, Mouse, I think that went quite well, all things considered!
(Biankies grins in agreement.)
ANDREW AND OMAR: (fighting to be the first to reach us) Have some cake to celebrate!
BIANKIES: Hey, thanks guys!
(The boys beam and disappear. A few moments later, they reappear...)
ANDREW: (now soaking wet) Hey, look what Omar did!
OMAR: (similarly covered in cake) Well, look what Andrew did to me! I wanted to eat the cake and now it's DEAD...
(He starts to cry. Andrew, realising that this is true, sits down and joins him, and soon the tears are flowing like Niagara falls.)
JONATHAN SCHWARTZ: (appearing out of nowhere) Hey, why is Omar crying?
MAC: (pointing at Biankies and Anjion) They like to make him cry so that they have an excuse to hug him.
JONATHAN: Ah, that's so sad! (he bursts into tears!)
ANJION: No wonder Omar's insecure... I'll get the tissues... Or maybe a mop...
BIANKIES: I think we need the mop and cookies or we might just drown.
ANJION: I agree. Boys, stop crying! We have cookies!
ANDREW AND OMAR: Yay!
(They start shoving each other, trying to get there first.)
ANJION: Boys, no fighting! Or you get nothing! Wow! Evidently, cookies and cake bring out the toddlers in them!
BIANKIES: Yep! But then, we wouldn't have them any other way, now would we?...
We love you guys!