Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

"Nobody ever comes in here, let alone a boy," said Moaning Myrtle,not unsatisfied to have something to gawk over.. For years now students had avoided her domain like the plague and she understood why. She had been grouchy and highly upset when she had been killed and those emotions had carried over to the afterlife. If this boy so much as said a word out of line then she would give him an earful like no other, despite the fact she would ravish him if she only knew a way how. "Why are you here?"

"To slay a monster that resides in these halls, a monster whose great yellow eyes took away the life of an innocent student fifty years ago," said Harry, his eyes sharpening as he spoke to Myrtle. His words had caused the ghost to go a shade paler, the undead student having no words to speak at this moment. "Know this, I do this not to avenge you, but to ensure that no other student suffers the same fate. A creature of great power rests asleep at this moment and I will make sure it never wakes."

"But you're just a boy, how can you possibly kill such a monster!" spat Myrtle venomously, wholeheartedly believing that this child was foolish in his endeavours.

"Let's put it this way, if I fail we can go out for moonlight strolls over the lake as undead equals, both slain by something we were ill equipped for," said Harry. "Perhaps then may we find some happiness in the afterlife?"

Myrtle's expression did a complete one eighty, much as Harry had predicted. She giggled at the flirtation headed her way before she drifted backwards into one of the stalls. "I'll be waiting," she whispered as she passed through the wooden barrier.

Harry knew however that he wouldn't fail, he couldn't fail. There would be no heroic battle going on, no risking of life and limb. The rucksack he held by his side contained Horcruxes; both the diary and in Rowena Ravenclaw's tiara. He had gotten hold of the second the day before.

He had felt the immense pressure from both pieces of Tom's soul so close together, both of their compulsions slowly eating away at him. There had been no way for him to simply stash them away somewhere, he had his own magic so focused on ensuring that the compulsion didn't spread to his peers.

Perhaps this had been the reason as to why the task he had given both Daphne and Tracy had been quite mild in regards to joining Potter Club. His mind had not properly been on the task at hand, having had enough trouble with keeping Voldemort's Horcruxes in check. He had wanted to put enchantments on the clothes that both Daphne and Tracy had been wearing so that anybody that had been wishing to prevent them from continuing with their routine was forced to repeat what they were doing. With his mind in such shambles he hadn't dared putting such runes into play, heavens knew what would happen if he had done a single stroke incorrectly.

He felt kind of bad in that regard towards both Tracy and Daphne but he still had no intention of fully welcoming them into Potter Club. They had no idea how Potter Club actually operated and the rest of Potter Club had no idea that they were already up two members. For now he would have them work as separate entities, with their own set tasks and duties to uphold. The main thing would be abusing the power of his Invisibility Cloak in order to get them up to speed. If they were members of the house of the snake then he would have them act as such.

Shaking his head of such thoughts, he stepped up to the tap that had the serpent engraved into the side. Speaking in hisses, the basin began to shudder before sinking into the floor. A low crow rang out from the blindfolded rooster that was the sole living being within his satchel. He knew what he was facing, he knew its weakness and he knew that the venom it possessed was capable of destroying the abominations he currently held.

Sure it was cheap.

He didn't give a shit.

Harry went down to breakfast the next morning feeling like a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. The Horcruxes were destroyed, each with a horrendous piercing scream that had sent shivers down his spine. A thousand year old basilisk had been slain without even having left its hibernation. He had contemplated talking with the millennium year old serpent but chose against it. Last thing he wanted was for it to talk its way out of the situation and either kill him or wait idly by for another century or so before waking up hungry and having to pick on innocent children for dinner.

It was just something he couldn't risk.

Straight in, straight out, disappoint Myrtle by still being alive, leave.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Rubbing at his eyes, he looked down the hall to how desolate it was this morning, barely seven in the morning and nearly nobody was in the hall. Arguably the only reason he was up at this time was because he had to slay a thousand year old snake without being detected, perhaps just a touch different from doing some research towards a Potions Assignment.

Smacking his cheeks, Harry tried to snap himself out of this self-inflicted funk. Thankfully, someone else was there to help him get out of it. "Excuse me," she said from directly in front of Harry, the twelve year old boy not even having realized that somebody was in front of him. The crest on her robe indicated Ravenclaw but she was not from his year, perhaps a grade or two higher.

"Hello there," he said trying to be somewhat polite. "What can I do for you Miss…"

"Oh sorry, my name is Isabelle Lionheat," she said in a flustered voice, clearly taken aback by the fact she had not displayed any of the manners she had been taught as a child.

"Lionheat?" repeated Harry, for certain that he had heard incorrectly.

"I know what you're thinking, I bet you thought as soon as I started with Lion I was going to make it Lionheart but that's not the case," she said in a rapid fire pace, clearly having had to answer that question multiple times.

"My apologies than Miss Lionheat for doubting your word," said Harry with a light bow of the head. "Might I now inquire why you have graced me with your presence?"

"Oh, of course, you see, the reason is that, I umm…I wanted to ask you see, if umm…you would like to go to Hogsmeade with me for the first trip of the year, only if you want to of course, I won't force you or anything," she said, stumbling over her words all the while.

Harry couldn't help but smile a touch at how nervous the girl was being in regards to the situation. "As much as I appreciate the offer Miss Lionheat, I think you may have forgotten just what grade I'm in," said Harry stating the obvious fact that he wasn't old enough to be permitted to go to the nearby village.

"But you're Harry Potter, they'll let you go," declared Isabelle in a matter of fact tone.

"Despite who I am, they won't bend the rules for me," he said. "Thank you again for the offer, perhaps next year if I'm unaccounted for we can look at doing it then. Until then you're going to have to come up with another idea for a date."

At the word date, Isabelle cheeks seemed to burn three shades brighter, incoherent babbling escaping her lips before she strode away, heavy footsteps almost echoing throughout the great hall. Harry meanwhile was sitting there contemplating why a girl two years his senior had decided to ask him out on a date cause he was about ninety percent sure that that hadn't happened first time round. With Lockhart basically running around with his Memory Charms however he couldn't be completely sure.

His distractions from playing with his food continued as he watched as Professor McGonagall marched down the middle of the hallway, her eyes focused as she clutched a scroll tightly within her hands. Through her mumbling he could pick out a few words, some of which were quite colourful. Something had clearly gotten on her nerves and he couldn't help but wonder if it had something to do with the parchment she was holding.

"What's all the commotion?" asked Hermione as she saw the group of students gathered about the front of the dining hall. A few of those who had early morning lessons were trying to barge their way through so that they could have some breakfast but the rest seemed to be scrambling to write their name down on a piece of parchment.

"Hermione," said Lavender as she spotted her roommate.

"What's going on?" asked Hermione.

"Apparently their doing a magical school exchange for two months starting from August," explained Lavender, having already heard the news from Padma who had heard it from a third year student who had heard it from a Prefect whose boyfriend had heard Professor Sprout talking about it.

Lavender's social network was scary.

"Magical school exchange?" repeated Hermione.

"Yea, those interested have to put their name down on the parchment and then six names will be chosen at random to spend October and November in France attending Beauxbatons!"

Hermione blinked a couple of ideas at the thought of spending some time learning in a different school, with a different way of learning and a different library. Rummaging through her bag she found her quill and a bottle of ink. For now though she would simply go and have breakfast and wait for the ruckus to die down somewhat before putting her name down along with one other if he hadn't already submitted himself.

"Hello Luna," said Harry as he spotted the blonde haired girl, sitting where he had once upon a time been petrified and subsequently painted. Hopefully this time would have him not an unwilling turned willing model.

"Hello Harry," said Luna as she gazed at the cloud riddled sky. "Has your club ambushed you yet?"

"My club? Repeated Harry wondering how in the hell Luna already knew of his participation in Potter Club.

"Well it's not your club, but the club named in your honour?" Harry made several attempts at forming some manner of retort but came up dry. Since he currently seemed unable to form any words at the moment, Luna felt it necessary to provide the next comment so that he may rid himself of some of the magical creatures trying to nest between the gaps in his teeth. Having your mouth open for so long was always a way to attract unwanted nasties. "Were you unaware of your fan club?"

Harry blinked twice as he repeated Luna's question in his mind. "My…fan club?" he said finally.

"Of course," said Luna as she looked at him with her bright eyes. "I went to the first meeting out of curiosity but felt it rather boring; it was just a bunch of hormone riddled students discussing between one another about how great you were as both a person and a hero. They also seemed to have a betting pool going on who would get into your pants first."

"What!" exclaimed Harry in shock before Luna started to giggle, slowly coming to the realization that she had pranked him, thankfully so. Despite having an adult mind the mere idea that someone would want to have sex with him at such a young age was terrifying. It did however explain why Isabelle had approached him earlier, she must have been encouraged by those around him to ask him out.

"Of course I'm joking, the betting pool is in regards to who you start dating," clarified Luna, Harry somewhat praying that she was trying to joke with him once more. Sadly the thought that girls were gambling on who he would start dating was more troublesome than the last option.

"Allow me to get this straight," said Harry as he tried to get a grip on the situation. "A group of girls all gathered together, I'm hazarding a guess that they were from all different houses, and decided to spend some time gossiping with me as the main topic of conversation. Then for some reason, of which I can only imagine is due to some manner of ridiculously bad luck on my part, they start scheming with one another on who is going to end up being my girlfriend?"


Harry smacked his forehead, careful not to break his glasses in the process. "And for some reason they're alright with competing against one another?" he asked. "No sabotaging, no backstabbing?"

"I believe they're all in the belief that you are better than all of them, that they should just be worthy enough to be the girl on your arm," said Luna as she returned to looking at the sky. "I was the one who voiced out that there was no need to sabotage themselves and that they would do the work on their own."

Harry didn't know whether to thank the girl by his side or smack her over the head for so blatantly putting a target on her back. He wondered if he could somehow get Hermione to infiltrate the club for him and find out just what all the fuss was about. He also needed someone in there to protect Luna and prevent her from any potential bullying problems that could come out of her speaking out in such a big environment. She didn't really go about mincing her words, especially with her freakishly large vocabulary.

"Just so you know, if you were to allow me to kiss you right now I'd be forty galleons richer."

"I'll see you later Luna," said Harry as he quickly got up from his seat next to the younger girl and made a hasty retreat.

"Silly Harry," said Luna to herself as she kicked her legs back and forth as a peaceful breeze allowed her hair to flutter in the wind. He didn't know that he had to be the one to initiate the kiss, any floozy leaping at the opportunity would be disqualified. That was one piece of information however that she would keep to herself.

For now.

"Thank you for joining with me this afternoon."

"You don't know how much I hate you right now."

"I can take a guess."

"I thought it was fun, plus that dress actually fits me really well."

"I'm glad you like it."

"I hope that the two of you weren't too badly harassed as a result?"

"We're fine."

"It was bad for a couple of days but the whole thing with kinda vanished after the idea that

students will be able to spend a couple months in France."

"Will the two of you be participating?"

"I am!"

"Not me."

"Any reason why not?"

"I believe that's none of your business now is it."

"Okay then."

"So we're actually part of Potter Club now aren't we!"

"In a way."

"In a way? What do you mean? We did what you wanted us to do, so why aren't we in?"

"Were you just messing with us about being the leader of Potter Club? Choose your next words carefully or I will hex you from here to next week."

"I am Potter Club, do not doubt me on this!"

"…Holy shit."

"What, how did you do that?"

"It does not matter. What matters is the two of you now work for me as a sub branch of Potter Club."

"Sub branch?"

"The rest of Potter Club works as a group to work out and create elaborate feats of magic that will continue to cause laughter and joy as a whole. What they need to know though is that they are not immune to pranks just because they are a part of Potter Club."

"You're telling us that we need to prank members of Potter Club?"

"Just how are we going to do that?"

"And isn't this counterproductive? I mean, shouldn't we all be working together."

"Perhaps, but allow me to put it in this regard. In a medieval society so to speak, I would be the King of Potter Club. By my right hand side I have my Queen and I have two faithful Knights, again, only so to speak. There are more but they matter not in comparison to what you two are."

"Then what are we?"

"You're my assassins, and as my assassins I have your first target right here and waiting. There is no time limit, there is no requirements and under no circumstance is he permitted to be injured. There will be no harm caused through the use of these pranks, understood?"


"Of course."

"Good. Humiliate within boundaries, as entertaining as it would be I'd rather not have students running around the hallways starkers."

"Okay then."

"Now, your first target is Fred Weasley."

"Fred Weasley? He's a part of Potter Club?"

"I trust that you'll keep such information confidential, because I can assure you that the consequences for leaking this information would be…unpleasant."


"Yes Tracy?"

"How will we know which of the Weasley Twins is Fred?"

"Well then, that's something you're going to have to figure out on your own now won't you. Have fun."



"Well this sucks."

"Any ideas?"


Harry sat in Defence Against the Dark Arts, idly doodling away on his parchment as opposed to actually paying attention to whatever dribble Lockhart was saying in order to keep his class entertained. After the disaster that had started in their first class with the Cornish Pixies, their 'teacher' had decided to leave the creature aspect of class for a while to focus on theory work.

Theory work which basically meant, if you've read my book and therefore know that I am the greatest wizard on the planet you will pass my course.

Harry felt it was time to see if he could find out something of use from this class. "Professor," said Harry, breaking Lockhart's monologue and somewhat providing some manner of attention to the class. "I was looking up dangerous creatures earlier and wondered what you would do if you encountered a Boggart?"

"A Boggart," repeated Gilderoy as he stretched his memory banks, the parts that weren't all about himself being quite limited, before answering. "Well, I don't know how other people would handle such a fearsome creature but I would cast "Begonus Bubbly Bobbly Boggartus," it's the most effective way of ridding oneself of a Boggart."

Harry blinked several times at the ridiculousness of the 'spell' that Lockhart had stated and wasn't surprised to see that nobody was copying down such a 'useful piece of information'. Seeing that there was no reaction to what he had said, he simply stumbled his way back into his previous speech as if the answer he had given had never occurred at all.

Harry meanwhile was wondering how much it would cost to have a live Boggart bought and shipped into the school.

Hope you enjoyed.