To be honest, the only reason I've uploaded this is because I like non-anime-based takes on Brock's character. It's not very well-written or good in general, but I still have fun reading it, so hopefully you will too.


"GAH!" The blue Ixi stopped what he was doing and hid a small object behind his back. Soon, he heard the dainty footsteps of the most mystical of all Neopia's faeries: Queen Fyora. The Faerie Queen gave Hanso a look. "What are you doing in the Hidden Tower Storage Room?"

Hanso smirked. "Well, I just happened to find this!" He held out a small, rectangular purple object.

"The Dark Faerie Eraser," Fyora said, smiling. "Very good. Who knows what could happen if this fell into the wrong hands?" She plucked it from Hanso's hand and walked off. Soon after, she returned. "That should do away with that," she said, smiling. But then she looked disapprovingly at Hanso. "But next time, ask me before you go in there! I don't even know how you got past the spell that kept my warehouse off limits."

"Well, I…" Hanso started. "Actually, I didn't."

"Hmm?" The Queen looked interested.

"Well, most of the protection seemed to be down, but I still got scorched by a magic lightning bolt you set up…" He leaned forward and pointed to a scorched area on his back.

"But I didn't set up a lightning bolt," Queen Fyora said.

"Well, then, I got zapped by a lightning bolt you didn't set up, I guess," Hanso said, seeming annoyed.

Fyora looked thoughtful. "Oh…yes. I've been meaning to do something about that."

"About what?" Hanso asked.

"Follow me," Fyora said. Hanso was peeved by the Queen's vagueness, but followed anyway.

Fyora held up her hand next to the wall of the Hidden Tower. In a flash, a segment of wall dissolved into purple mist, revealing a room. Fyora walked in and gestured for Hanso to follow.

"Wow!" Hanso said. The room was all crystal, and every manner of magical-looking artifacts lined the room. "Amazing…" Hanso just couldn't stop staring. There was a gleaming blue shield whose glittering coat seemed to billow like the ocean, a cluster of crystals buzzing with weird green energy, a levitating, shimmering black orb…

"Hanso," the Queen said. She was holding a strange, yet beautiful, crystal rose. "You seem to interact abnormally with the forces of magic. I'm guessing that this is an aftereffect of your petrifaction and subsequent restoration."

"Um, OK," Hanso said, wishing that magic talk didn't have so many big words involved.

"This rose is a very powerful artifact. Though the effects of improper usage are severe, it can, if used correctly, stabilize one's life force to the magic of faeries," she 'explained' – though for the most part, Hanso didn't understand. "I'm going to use it on you. Are you ready?"

"Why not? Lunch isn't for a few hours," he said. He struck a heroic pose. "Shoot me."

Fyora sighed. Then, she held the rose over Hanso's head.

"Ahh…" Hanso felt soothing waves of magic wash over him. "Mmm…"

"Almost done," Fyora said. She flicked the relation rose quickly.

"GYAAARRGH!" Hanso yowled. A sudden pain caused the Ixi to writhe in agony.

"Done," Fyora said calmly. "You may leave now."

"OK." Hanso slowly walked toward the exit, gazing intently at the artifacts surrounding him.

"And don't touch anything!" Queen Fyora suddenly snapped.

"Okay, okay, I get it, sheesh." Hanso turned away.

"Whoops!" Hanso's shoulder knocked into a crystal pedestal, and a golden disk went spinning across the floor and vanished into the corner. He ran after it. Who knew what that thing had done…

Suddenly he saw he was running into some sort of portal. He tried to stop, but he was already in the portal. Light was all around him, swirling and changing…

The light faded, and he found himself standing on the streets of a city. He looked around. Where was he? He'd never been here before.

He looked into the sky. Weird…it seemed to be very early in the morning. It had been a few hours until lunch a few moments ago.

The Ixi shrugged and strolled around. The city was just starting to wake up. He watched as, in the distance, people were starting to set up fruit stands, and…wait a second…

Hanso stopped in his tracks. All the people were humans. There wasn't a neopet in sight.

Hanso shrugged again. They probably just hadn't come out yet. He couldn't imagine a city in Neopia with only humans. After all, what did humans do with their lives aside from take care of neopets? Did they have any other purpose?

Hanso looked at the building nearest him. It was relatively large, and on it was a sign. Hanso read it:

Pewter City Pokémon Gym

Leader: Brock

"The Rock-Solid Pokémon Trainer!"

Hanso cocked his head to one side. What was "Pokémon"? Apparently, "Pokémon" could be trained. Maybe Pokémon was a kind of Petpet. Oh, well, he didn't really care. He decided that he'd better get back to Faerieland – and fast. He decided he'd better ask someone where he was. Well, he already sort of knew from the sign – he was in Pewter City. But where was that, and why hadn't he heard of it?

As he strolled the streets, he saw a couple of kids sitting near a trash can talking.

"I'm going to the Gym first thing today!" said one kid. "I love watching Brock's Onix do battle!"

"Me too!" the other one replied.

Hanso stopped. He took in all that he had heard. This "Brock" guy, who apparently led the Gym he was standing next to, had an onyx that could do battle! But how could an gemstone do battle? It was obvious; it was a magical onyx. This Gym obviously had some sort of Battledome in it, and this onyx was some sort of magical weapon! Instantly, Hanso knew that he had to get that onyx. He was always looking for magical artifacts to nab, and this was a great chance.

He faced the Gym again and reached into a pocket. He pulled out some lock-picking supplies and began to pick the Gym's lock. Click…click…click. He almost had it…

Just then, Hanso heard a faint voice say, "Rock slide" - not in a warning tone, but in more of a commanding tone. Seconds later, Hanso yelled. A huge barrage of boulders pounded him into the ground. "Oof! OoF! OOF! OWWWW!" he yowled. He quickly ran out of the way of the onslaught, just in time to hear the same voice say "Bind". Suddenly, Hanso was swept off his feet by a connected chain of boulders that curled around him and heaved him into the air. The chain of boulders wound around, and Hanso found himself face to face with a dragon-snake thing made of rock.

Oh, Hanso thought. This was the earth version of the Snowager. Maybe it was protecting Brock's magical onyx…

Just then, Hanso heard the same voice he had heard earlier say stiffly, "What are you?"

Hanso looked down. The voice was coming from a young man, looking strong for his age, with brown hair that stuck up in spikes and eyes which were closed, like an Aisha's or a Chia's – except, of course, he was a human. "Who are you?" Hanso asked.

"I asked first," the human said gruffly.

"I'm Hanso, and I'm an Ixi," Hanso said plainly. "If you don't mind saying, could you please explain why this Rock-dragon thingy has got me in a death hold?"

"Because you were trying to get into my Gym before it opens, that's why," he replied. "And I'll be asking the questions."

"Oh," said Hanso. "So you're Brock, huh?"

"I said that I'll be asking the questions," the guy who was apparently Brock said, annoyed. "Now, could you please tell me what an Ixi is?"

Hanso looked at Brock weirdly. "It's a neopet," he said. Honestly, how could this guy not know what an Ixi was?!

Brock looked interested and perplexed. "A neopet?!" he said. "But they're not real!"

"What do you mean, they're not real? Of course they're real! I'm a neopet, and I'm real!" Hanso sputtered.

Brock continued to look at Hanso weirdly. "How did you get here?"

"Well…" Hanso didn't know how to explain. After all, if this guy was a dunce who didn't even believe neopets were real, he probably wouldn't understand. "It's complicated," he said plainly.

"I want to know," Brock said. The earth-Snowager-thing's squeeze grew tighter.

"Well, OK," Hanso said. "I was just in Queen Fyora's secret storage room for magical artifacts and this Rainbow Swirly Thing fell into this portal and I fell into it and here I am. Now, can you please let me down?" he pleaded.

"One last thing," Brock said. "Why were you trying to break into my Gym?"

"Y'know, I wasn't really breaking in, I was just –"

"Ahem," Brock growled. The Snowager-thing's squeeze grew tighter again. Hanso noted, with some dismay, that the kids who had mentioned Brock's onyx in the first place were watching with interest and saying, "Wow, this oughta be good!"

"Erm. Well…" Hanso tried to stay cool and charismatic. "Well, have you noticed that the apples they sell over there are really –" The Snowager-thing's squeeze tightened again, to the point of strangling Hanso. "C-can't…br-breathe…" Hanso choked, his voice diminishing to a whisper.

Just then, a lady in a police outfit walked up. "Brock, that's enough," she sighed, and the Snowager-thing's grip loosened considerably. "What's going on – wha?!" She had just seen Hanso. "What – is – that?!"

"It's Hanso the Ixi," Brock explained. "It's a neopet."

The police officer looked at Brock as if he had just gone mad.

"That's what it said," Brock grumbled.

"Well…ooookay…why were you attacking it?" the officer continued.

"It was trying to get into my Gym before it had opened," Brock said.

"Ah," the officer said. "Um, could you let him down? The police would like to have a little…talk…with him."

Oh, great, Hanso thought. The police.

"Gladly," Brock said. "Onix, put him down."

"Wait," said Hanso as he was lowered down. "That rock-Snowager thing…is your onyx?!"

"Yes," Brock said, looking at Hanso weirdly.

"OK…could you both come to the police station with me?" the officer said.

"Why me?" Brock asked.

"Because I said so," the officer said, exasperated.

"Fine," he said. He plucked off his belt a small ball – half red, half white – and pressed a button on it. The Onix's body zipped into it, morphing itself into a bolt of energy as it went. Hanso couldn't help but stare.

"Come along," the officer said. She took the Gym Leader and the Ixi to a small police station and went inside.

"Hello, Officer Jenny #72," said the police chief, who looked exactly like the other police officer. "What -oh, you brought Brock here again. Why?" she said, sounding annoyed.

"Well, he tried to strangle this creature with his Onix because he tried to get into the Gym before it opened," Officer Jenny #72 explained, gesturing to Hanso.

"Wh –what is – who is –" the chief sputtered.

"I'm not a creature!" Hanso said. "I'm a neopet!"

"Is that an obscure kind of Pokémon?"

"NO!" said Hanso. "I don't even know what a 'Pokémon' is!"

"Ah," said the police chief. "Yeah, we better have a talk with this one. As for you, Brock, I think you can go. Just be careful to keep your nose clean."

"Yeah, thanks." Brock left quickly.

"As for you…what did you say you were?" the police chief asked.

"I'm Hanso, and I'm an Ixi, and that's a neopet," Hanso explained.

"Well, OK. Do you mind if we ask a few questions?"

"Yeah," said Hanso.

"Well, we'll ask them anyway. First…what's a neopet?"

"Well, see, neopets are…you know, cool guys like me," Hanso said with a smile.

"O…kay," said the police officer. "How come I've never heard of them?"

"I have NO idea," Hanso said. "For my whole life, neopets have been everywhere I've been, and I don't know how this city has miraculously managed to avoid the majority of Neopia's populace."

"Neopia…?" the police chief said.

"Oh…so you mean I'm not on Neopia?" Hanso asked.

"Er, no," the police chief said.

"Figures. Where am I?"

"In Pewter City."

"Where's that?"

"In Kanto."

"Where's that?"

"Next to Johto."

"Where's THAT?"

"Um, on the planet."

Hanso sighed. "I have a feeling I'm not going to get any information out of you."

"I have a feeling we're not going to get any information out of you," the police chief said. "As far as I'm concerned, you can go home."

"Ummm…I'm kind of…lost," Hanso said.

"Well, I have no idea where 'Neopia' is, so I'm afraid I can't help you," the police chief sighed. "Just…go and keep your nose clean."

"I will, if Dr. Sloth keeps his nose clean," said Hanso with a smirk.

"WHATEVER!" the police chief shouted. Hanso exited the building.

"Oh, gee. What now?" he said aloud.

"Oh, look! A Pokémon!" Someone shouted. "Fearow, go!"

A bird pecked Hanso. Hard.

"Yow!" Hanso ran off down an alley and emerged into a different street.

"Wow! Some new kind of Pokémon!" another person shouted. "Persian! Pay Day!"

Hanso wondered what the heck that meant and then had coins shot at him. He reached for one coin and quickly drew his hand back. That hurt. Instead he picked up some of the fallen coins and ran off down another street.

"Go, Butterfree!" He got a faceful of dust that hurt him somehow, and he fell to the ground, unable to move.

"Tackle!" An insect-like creature slammed into him. Hanso managed to get up and run off again.

"Go, Rattata!"

This was going to be a long day…