Minerva entered the library at Potter Manor with Misty in the lead. She didn't say a word but pulled a memory and dropped it into the pensieve. Harry looked at her with his eyebrows raised in question.
"From this morning." She answered his unasked question, "You'll see."
Harry, Sirius and Remus entered the pensieve to view what had transpired earlier that morning. When they returned they found Minerva in a chair by the fire sipping tea. Sirius and Remus were not happy about what the bumbling fool had done but Harry was beyond angry when he emerged.
"What in Merlin's name did that imbecile think he was doing?" Harry demanded, "This could ruin everything! Dumbledore is probably hiding in his manor and he could be taking the de-aging potion as we speak. Fudge will pay for this!"
"He will." Minerva agreed, "He's being arrested by the aurors for interfering in an investigation. You should not go near him or send him anything."
"But…" Harry protested.
"She's right." Remus put his hand on Harry's shoulder, "The aurors would just try to contain you for your own safety."
"I received a letter from Shacklebolt and Tonks this morning." Harry collapsed on a chair unhappy that Fudge was out of his reach.
"I'm the one who suggested they send you an owl." Minerva told them, "Filius wants to know how I knew in advance. All I've said was that I got a floo call."
"You should probably leave it that way for now." Harry agreed, "We need a way to flush Dumbles out."
"He was fired from Hogwarts today too." Minerva broke that news, "Augusta Longbottom is the new head of the Board of Governors and they arrived during that memory to fire him. He may not know yet but he'll figure it out in the morning when I'm announced as the interim Headmistress."
"Good." Harry turned in his chair and threw one leg over the arm, "What do we do about Dumbledore?"
"I don't think you'll have to do much." Minerva pursed her lips, "I believe he'll be coming after you."
"I still want to prank him." Harry huffed.
"And we will." Remus agreed, "We just need to think it through and plan it thoroughly."
"First things first." Severus interrupted as he entered the room, "We're only a few days before the start of school. Have you finished your summer homework?"
"Really?" Harry looked exasperated, "With all this stuff going on you want me to do homework?"
"Yes really." Severus smirked, "I expect an exemplary essay."
Harry grinned back with just a touch of evilness, "I finished it all about a month ago. Now can I prank Dumbles?"
"The lemon drops and chocolate frogs didn't go along with him." Minerva tried to suppress her amusement, "Will they be able to find him?"
"No, they would have had to tag along to still be with him." He smirked, "You won't have them for long though."
"Why not?" Sirius asked confused with Harry's smirk.
"If they go ten hours without him doing any magic they'll disappear." Harry chuckled, "I used his magic for power to keep them going."
"So all he would have had to do to get rid of them was not do magic for ten hours?" Remus asked incredulously.
"Yep." Harry's smirk grew.
Laughter filled the room for several minutes. When it finally quieted they sat back and enjoyed the tea Misty had brought in.
"How can we stop him now that he's in hiding?" Harry asked.
"We'll have to draw him out." Remus muttered, "We need to put something out that he can't ignore."
"Well he is looking for me." Harry pointed out, "We could let it slip to the paper that I've got to get my books yet for this year."
"I think that's more mayhem than we can deal with." Minerva offered with a smirk.
Harry began to laugh again. But this time the enjoyment was overwhelmed with wickedness. Minerva stared at him due to the malicious laughter that Harry was letting go. He got up, still laughing, and left the room.
"Why did you have to use that word?" Severus groaned.
"What did I say?" she asked completely shocked.
"Mayhem." Remus shook his head, "Every time he wants to create mayhem he calls the twins."
"When the three of them get planning Merlin help us all." Severus added.
"Isn't that what we want though?" Sirius jumped in.
"Harry and the twins came up with a prank that damages testicles so badly they have to be removed." Remus pointed out to Sirius, "Another one breaks their knee caps and makes them go bald."
"Itching powder that doesn't come off without their counter spell, temporary blindness, boils in the privates and a hallucinogenic that causes them to see their worst nightmare." Severus counted them out, "And about a dozen others that they wouldn't tell us what they did."
"To top that off they made a cage that can contain Moony and knock him out for an entire night." Remus finished, "They're… incredibly inventive."
"They've also invented an Imp candy." Harry reentered the room, "It gives the prankee same symptoms that I get."
"I wasn't sure if they had finished it." Severus sighed, "When are the monsters coming by?"
"Ten minutes." Harry grinned evilly, "They have to close up the shop. And just to keep you all from worrying none of those pranks will be available to the public. Law enforcement has taken an interest in a few of them though."
"I've got to get back." Minerva stood.
"Do you have to go so soon?" Harry asked, "We were just getting to the good part."
"As the new Headmistress I have to find transfiguration and defense professors." She offered, "As your new guardian I want to have plausible deniability."
Harry chuckled as she left the room giving them all a wave, "I think I'm going to love my new guardian. I wonder if she'll help me become an animagus?"
"I don't know why she wouldn't." Sirius put his feet up, "I can help too."
"You'll need to refrain from shifting." Remus pointed out, "There are quite a few people who know your animagus form."
"I hadn't thought of that." Sirius huffed and crossed his arms in a pout.
"We're here." Fred and George arrived, "The fun can now begin."
The next afternoon Remus and Harry apparated into the forest outside Godric's Hollow. Harry had a couple wreaths of flowers in his hands as they took the solemn walk to the graveyard. They paused to look over the obelisk that for magicals was a statue of James, Lily and baby Harry. They murmured too lowly for others to hear.
"I can't believe they altered that obelisk." Harry whispered, "It's been here since the muggle war."
"They couldn't do much." Remus sighed, "Not without the muggle's noticing. They made it seem that the house burnt so they could leave it as a memorial. All muggles see is an empty lot."
"Did anyone try to save anything out of the house?" Harry asked.
"I don't know." Remus looked confused, "I can't believe I didn't think to ask."
"Maybe you did." Harry turned to walk, "You could be suffering from a memory charm like Orion and I."
"Possible." Remus agreed as he caught up.
They passed through the square and found the small church that sat beside the graveyard. Remus led the way through the gate and back to the stones for the Potter family. They stood silently for several minutes before Harry placed a wreath first on James and Lily's graves and then on Charles and Dorea's. They stayed where they were but didn't speak for quite a while.
"How long do you think this will take?" Harry whispered.
"I would have thought he'd got here by now." Remus put an arm across Harry's shoulders, using the movement to look behind them, "Speak of the devil."
Harry kept himself from turning back to look. Remus dropped his arm and put his hands in his jacket where his wand rested. Harry had kept his hands in his pockets since laying out the wreaths so his wand was ready.
"It was such a shame they had to die." Albus Dumbledore stepped up beside Harry, "You don't have to go the same way."
"I won't." Harry said, "Voldemort is dead and the death eaters are caught who else would want me dead."
"Lots of people I'm sure." Albus offered, "Family and friends of the death eaters. Those who lost loved ones because you weren't fast enough. Not to mention people whose reputation you've destroyed."
"I only destroyed the reputations of those that deserved it." Harry shrugged, "They should have realized I wouldn't put up with being used and abused."
"It was for the greater good." Albus started to lecture and followed as Remus and Harry stepped through the graveyard and into the field beyond, "You really need to think about other people and their feelings. You stomp on them they will stomp on you."
"See that's exactly my point." Harry stopped turned to Albus, "You stomped on me and threw me away and now you're complaining when you get that treatment back."
"But I'm stronger and better than you." Albus pulled his wand, "I am no longer in need of your services. You will pay for turning everyone against me."
Harry blocked his first spell and shot a few of his own, "Are you seriously going to do this?"
Remus had his wand ready in case Harry needed him but he wasn't attacking. All three heard the pops of arriving witnesses but didn't remove their eyes from the fight.
"You're going dark Harry." Albus stated for whoever had arrived, "I'm only trying to protect the innocent people."
"No you're trying to cover your own backside." Harry countered as they continued to fight, "Every single step you have taken has been to put yourself above all others. You use people only as stepping stones."
"Harry your accusations have no merit." Albus threw out a nasty cutting hex, "No one would ever believe me capable of that kind of trickery."
"Trickery like only taking Remus into Hogwart after his father paid triple the normal tuition." Harry pointed out, "Of course you pocketed two thirds of that."
Forgetting the audience in a fit of anger Albus yelled, "Where are you getting this from? Who told you?"
"How's Gillert?" Harry tossed out another piece of information with his next spell, "Haven't you got the balls to visit him again."
"You!" Albus screamed, "You did that to me?"
"I did." Harry took a couple more shots while Dumbledore was distracted, "But it was for the greater good. I helped you narrowly missed the killing curse aimed at your back. And Gillert was getting really tired of you."
The twins had spread pranks all over the field very early that same morning. It was all part of the plot the three teens had thought up. Part one was luring Dumbledore out of hiding, which they had managed with the trip to the graveyard. Now part two was unfolding and it was going to unleash on the man as the fight began in earnest.
Unfortunately, for Dumbledore, everywhere he stepped seemed to trigger a prank. He was hit with regular pranks, pranks for the aurors and some of the vicious pranks they'd gotten Harry's help with. The first prank hit him in the face with a glob of cream. He was angry as he began to wipe it off but when he turned into a Dumbledore sized canary he quickly became furious. After that spell wore off he tried to advance on Harry again. With his next step he was covered in itching powder that wouldn't go away. Then his hair and beard fell off only to grow back twice as long. Canary cream kept hitting him in the face, he got sick several times, chills and bloody noses. Something gave a loud honk and blew up in a cloud of smoke just before his beard twisted into corkscrew shape. Prank after prank threw itself at the manipulative old man.
Two last pranks brought the event to a close. First one of the Ball Busters jumped off the ground hitting Dumbledore's wand arm, breaking it and sending his wand tumbling toward Harry, who caught it. Then he froze on the next spot he stepped on. Quick as a blink his hair and beard were pulled strait and standing in all directions, rather like the Pigmy Puffs. Remus nearly jumped at the sudden change but watched in awe as the man began turning different colors. Harry summoned any other wands from Dumbledore and then all magical items he may have on his person. He let all of it hit the ground rather than touch anything.
"What's this prank called?" Remus asked once the last item from Dumbledore's pockets hit the ground.
"Fairy Lights." Harry grinned, "It's what we thought the fairies would look like if they stepped into a socket from muggle electric lights. It will last until they release him."
Severus and the twins made themselves visible as the aurors began to arrive and take Dumbledore into custody. Once the twins released him from the spell he was cuffed and all his magical possessions tossed into a bag. He was silenced when Severus reminded them of his escape via Phoenix the last time this was attempted. Most of the aurors accompanied Dumbledore back to the ministry. Only Tonks and Shacklebolt were left to talk to Harry's group.
"How did you know he'd be here?" Tonks asked the group.
"We didn't." Harry casually replied, "Remus brought me to see my parent's graves for the first time."
"How did you get him then?" Kingsley asked seeing the mess they made in the field.
"The twins and I were here as protection." Severus explained, "We came invisible so not to disturb Harry's private time. We were just on hand to help."
"And the pranks?" Tonks indicated the mess.
"We never leave home without them." Fred and George replied together.
Without a doubt it was the strangest capture to date for the auror corps. The Head Auror could barely comprehend the reports that made their way to his desk. The man was ready to have the entire corp sent for psychiatric evaluation but the Wizengamot case needed witnesses.
"Do you have everything?" Remus asked the morning of September first.
"Double checked last night." Harry agreed, "And if I forgot anything Dobby has already said he would bring it to me."
"Are you going to tell your friends anything?" Sirius asked.
"No." Harry shook his head, "I am now Harry Potter. The goblins have made the necessary changes. My wand still says I'm Harry too."
"I would have thought you'd want to be free to be you." Sirius shrugged.
"I am free to be me." Harry grinned, "I'm no longer abused Harry nor am I prankster Oliver. I am somewhere in the middle and I'm happy with it. It matters little what name people call me."
"That's a mature outlook." Remus patted his shoulder, "We need to get going if we're going to make the train and surgery. Surgery is at one and we need to be there by twelve and arrive by muggle means. Just think about it Orion, this is the last glamour you'll have to wear."
"Are you sure we can't just keep using glamour." Sirius balked.
"This way there won't be any mishaps." Harry laughed, "You'll be fine. Let's go."
They used the floo to get to Kings Cross. The Hogwarts express was there steaming away with children jumping on and off, toting luggage and pets and giving last hugs to their parents. No one seemed to notice their arrival. Harry gave them both last hugs.
"Thanks for everything." He whispered.
"Don't be too good." Orion admonished him.
"Don't be as bad as he thinks you should be." Remus chuckled.
"See you at Christmas." Harry turned and headed for the train.
He jumped on about half way down the train and the started looking for an empty compartment. Instead he found one with Luna in it and took a seat.
"Hello Oliver." She said once the door was shut, "I won't call you that again, don't worry."
"Luna, how do you know things?" Harry asked as he pulled her into a hug.
"The Nargles tell me." She hugged him back tightly, "Did you have a nice summer?"
"The best ever." He sat back across from her, "How was yours."
"Fine." She grinned, "Daddy took me to Mexico to look for Crumpled Horned Snorkacks."
"Did you find any?" he asked.
"Yes I have a picture do you want to see?" she started digging in her bag.
"Absolutely!" Harry agreed excitedly.
"We looked everywhere and ended up running across a guy who breeds them." She handed a picture over with her, Xeno, another dark haired man and an elk like creature with very crumpled looking antlers, "Daddy wanted to buy one but he said they only live in tropical forests of Mexico and Central America. They can't survive in our cool climate."
"That's too bad." Harry agreed, "Be sure and show that picture to Hermione will you?"
"Why do you think I have it with me?" She grinned wickedly.
"How was your summer?" Neville asked as he pulled his trunk in and levitated it to the rack.
"Great, how was yours?" Harry asked as Neville sat beside Luna.
"Fine, I spent most of it in the green houses." He shrugged, "Did you get this morning's paper?"
"No I've not see it." Harry replied and waited.
"Dumbledore was killed during the trial." He pulled the paper out and handed it over, "One of the Wizengamot members hit him with some unknown curse. It was a friend of Dumbledore's so they're assuming they were helping him to keep all his secrets. So Doge, I think was the name, is in Azkaban and they tossed Dumbledore's body through the veil just in case he wasn't really dead."
"Good." Harry replied, "The stupid old goat got off way too easy. He deserved something worse."
"I don't know." Neville grinned, "He had a good deal of egg on his face, and canary cream, and itching powder and…"
Luna began to giggle uncontrollably. Soon the three of them were howling with laughter. It lasted long enough that Ron and Hermione had finished with the prefect meeting and found them still laughing.
"Should we ask?" Hermione asked as she entered the compartment ahead of Ron.
"Nope." Ron shook his head, "I don't even want to know."
Luna was still giggling madly as she pulled a picture from her pocket and handed it to Hermione. Her shriek of disbelief could be heard half way up the now moving train. The thump of her hitting the floor after passing out was only heard in their compartment.
"Whoops, guess I should have caught her." Ron grimaced as he reached down to pick Hermione up and put her in a seat.