When Angels Deserve To Die.

*'Trust In My Self-righteous Suicide
I cry when Angels deserve to die.'
System of A Down - Chop Suey *

Teal'c stared at the flickering candle, absently watching the way the flames threw light onto the dull grey walls of his sleeping quarters. He had long ago given up any attempts at Kel No Reem and was now just...sitting.

Sho'nac was dead. This was something he could accept. In his years serving under Apophis he had witnessed many warriors die in battle and in some ways this was really no different. Sho'nac had been a warrior, just as he was. But where he now used his strength and agility in the fight against the false Gods, Sho'nac had used her heart; her fundamental belief that within everyone, be it Jaffa, Tauri or even Goa'uld, there was good. Throughout her life this had been her strength, and ultimately it had also been her downfall.

But what he could not accept, what he absolutely refused to accept, was the Tok'ra's insistence that Taniff should live - even for a short time. The muscles in the Jaffa's jaw tensed as the murderer's face appeared in his mind. Taniff had fooled them all into thinking he truly wanted to renounce his birthright and join the fight against the Goa'uld. He should have been more wary, should not have trusted that he was telling the truth. The Goa'uld had used mind tricks to fool their victims before, and he of all people knew the risks of believing anything a Symbiote would say. But he had been blind.

Teal'c squeezed his eyes shut, desperately willing the tears not to fall. He was a warrior. He was strong, showing his emotions - even when no one could see, was a weakness, and he must never show any signs of weakness.
He remembered the look on Sho'nac's face as she told him how she had communicated with her Symbiote, and how it had shown her it desperately wanted to fight it's own kind; to right some of the atrocities the Goa'uld had committed against so many innocent worlds. She had looked so radiant back then. So proud of her achievement, and she had shown so much love for the one she referred to as Kal'ma.

When Freya had returned Sho'nac's body through the Stargate he had mourned her death, looking upon it as a tragic accident, but when he had discovered it was her own Symbiote, her own 'child' who had murdered her in cold blood, the need for vengeance became all consuming. And so he had returned to the Tok'ra, with a pain in his heart that only the death of the Shol'va; Taniff could cure.

And now, he would have to wait for the pain to cease. The Tok'ra stated their case for keeping him alive...at least for now, and despite the fact that he could not accept their decision on an emotional level, the warrior in him knew that this reason was justified. A tactical advantage that his own personal feelings could not be allowed to jeopardise.

But still the pain remains, even knowing that Taniff would eventually die a very painful, prolonged death, did not ease the suffering in his heart. And so Kel No Reem was impossible. The level of concentration needed would not come, and all he could think of was how the woman he cared for had been taken from him by the one she trusted the most.

For so long he had believed the Goa'uld were Gods. He even fought Bra'tac initially when he had tried to teach him. But now he knew the truth, that they were nothing more than monsters, evil beings that came more from Hell than the Heavens, and Taniff had served only to concrete the evidence one more time.

But despite him knowing, in his heart and in his mind, that the Goa'uld were no more Gods than than he was, the question remained, if they knew the truth, if they knew that in reality they were as fallible as he, then what had given Taniff the right to decide that Sho'nac, this Angel, had deserved to die?
And what was worse, what Teal'c needed to know more than anything else as the tears rolled freely down his face, was what gave the Tok'ra the right to decide that Taniff should live? The right to decide that her death was to become nothing more than a strategic battle plan.

End