Somewhere in the dark and nasty regions

Where nobody goes

Stands an ancient castle.

Deep within this dank and uninviting place lives Berk


The overworked servant of The Thing Upstairs


But that's nothing compared to the horrors that lurk

Beneath the trap door

For there's always something down there

In the dark

Waiting to come out


Don't you open that trap door

You're a fool if you dare

Stay away from that trapdoor

Cos there's something down there

The Trap Door

(crash of lightning and thunder)

The Splund Returns

In the confines of his room, Berk re-examined the bandages and splint wrapped around his injured left arm. Clicking his tongue in a bothersome way, he collected the crutch standing by the cupboard and set it in place underneath his right shoulder to support his fractured leg. Making sure the hot water bottle strapped atop his head was still there, he hobbled out into the main chamber.

"Ahh!" he groaned dully. "How are you lot doing?"

His three friends Drutt the buglike creature, Boney the skull and Rog who was the only good monster to ever set foot out of the trap door in the centre of the room, all turned to him, covered with injuries of their own. Drutt was completely swathed in bandages from the top of his tiny body to the last ligament of his legs; his eyes and mouth were the only things left uncovered. Boney was the least hurt out of any of them, sporting a crossed pair of band-aids on his cranium. Rog on the other hand was quite obviously the worst to suffer from their previous escapade; his body, arms and legs were all encased entirely in a cast, leaving unable to nurse the pain his swollen left eye was giving him.

Drutt spluttered between the bandages. Rog moved his head around to face Berk, groaning in complaint. "What they said," Boney added. "And I've got a splitting headache."

"Aw, come off it," Berk waved them off. "It could have been worse. If his Lordship upstairs didn't step in to help us out with the Big Red Thing when he did, it woulda been the end of us."

Before anyone could agree or argue with him, the trap door flung open.

"Oh no," Berk fidgeted nervously. "That's the last thing any of us needs right now."

A pair of black eyes emerged from the shadowed caverns beneath, followed by a wicked craggy smile as the eyes darted around with an evil intent. A tongue flipped out between the lips before it, the eyes and smile went back down for just a moment. The Splund then leaped out, bringing its huge round orb-shaped body and spindly arms and legs into clear view.

"Hello," it boomed in its eerily deep voice.

Drutt yelped in a panic, diving into a nearby nook for cover. Rog tried to move forward to confront the monster, forgetting that his body was trapped in the cast and lost his balance. Bellowing out in surprise, he fell, landing on his back with a loud sharp crack. Boney gasped, letting out a ghostly wail of terror.

"Not him again," Berk cried.

The Splund, having grown attentive to the yelp, wail and fall of the other three, stopped at the sound of Berk's voice. Revolving around to him, the monster's pranksterish gaze changed into a fierce demonic glare as his eyes feel on Berk.

"You," it stated in recognition.

The Splund disappeared in a silvery pop-and-flash.

"W - Where'd he go?" Berk wondered aloud in fear.

In another pop-and-flash of silver, the Splund reappeared, right in front of Berk. Berk moaned, slowly backing into the chamber wall. The Splund bore down on him, its malice magnifying in its glaring eyes.

"Did you think I would forget what you did," it growled menacingly. "Puncturing me like I was a balloon?"

"Agh!" Berk screamed.

"Let's see how good you taste," the Splund said, reaching his hands towards him.


The Splund halted instantly, its eyes gaping wide with horror as he realised who had called out his name. He moved away from Berk and stared fearfully up at the ceiling. The Thing Upstairs continued to speak.


The Splund reacted again to the voice, this time by shivering in absolute panic and picturing itself as a meal for The Thing Upstairs. The very idea of that was enough to make it abandon any ideas of him getting revenge on Berk and start thinking about his own survival.

With an uncharacteristic whimper, it vanished in a pop-and-flash and reappeared above the open trap door. Everyone in the room watched as it plunged back down into the dark depths. The silver pop-and-flash occurred once more; the Splund popped back into view, lying on its side with one hand holding on to the latch of the trap door. He whimpered a second time, pulling at the latch and wrenched the trap door shut above him.

Berk quietly wiped the cold sweat from his forehead. "Phew. That was a close one," he said before glancing upward. "Thanks for the help, Oh Glorious Mass of Wonder and Heroism."

"JUST HURRY UP AN' GIT BETTER!" The Thing Upstairs barked back loudly. "I'M STARTIN' TO GIT HUNGRY!"

"Healin' up with the best of efficiency, sire," Berk replied.

He lowered his eyes to gaze around the chamber for his three friends.

"Alright there, everyone?"

Drutt scurried out of his hiding place and squeaked in affirmation. Boney hummed for a bit and then answered, "Well, all things considered, I think that little fright has cured me of my headache."

Rog groaned irritably, shaking his head. "No," he uttered slowly. "You've given it to me."

Seemingly satisfied with their responses, Berk smiled a small smile and said, "So, all sorted out then?"


Creepy, crawly, slimy things that

Stick on your skin

Horrid things with tentacles that want to

Pull you in

Squirmy worms, slugs and snails

That lie there in a goo

They'll wait down there forever

'Til they get their hands on you

Stay away from that trap door

Cos there's something down there