Before- Autumn of 1988
Inside the beloved garden of the aristocratic family, a peculiar sight unfolded upon the balcony. From the distance, the two pair of blondes looked contrasting. One was sitting stiffly though sophisticated on her seat, and the other was leaning upon the table, feet swinging without any footwear, oblivious with the cowering essence of the Malfoy name.
Though, up close, they both looked out of place from their surroundings. The older being too much, the younger being too little. Their faces, both sporting smiles and soft glowing eyes. The scenario looked tranquil, Luna Lovegood could be a proper pureblood daughter from the distance he's staring at.
As he got closer, his new friend glanced over his mother's shoulder and waved her little hand enthusiastically. He gave her a blunt confused glare. He was unaware she'd come. Not when it was at an odd hour in the afternoon. You might think he has been, at least, used to her randomness by now. But he thinks she'd always catch him off guard.
"Good afternoon Draco"
"Why are you here?"
He reached the gazebo before she replied. She was anticipating to see his reaction much clearer.
"We'll watch the whole world today"
He stared at her, disbelieved, then looked at his mother, who did nothing but watch as his peculiar friend gouge his inner struggle. It seemed that she wouldn't rescue him from Luna Lovegood's trap.
"It is rude to turn down such a lovely girl such as Miss Lovegood" His glare hardened, the foot upon the ground begging to stomp. Narcissa, however, only lifted her cuppa, sipping innocently on her lid as if she did not just let her own son sign his sanity card goodbye.
"And how would we even do that?" He crossed his arms in a defensive position. His eyes were lowered, directed to the crown of her golden head, long locks twirling in the air. She was knotting, quite randomly, the purple laces of her white, but were too worn out, they now looked dirty white, rubber shoes.
Her eyes were the first to rise, followed by her dangling locks, then her hips and legs.
"With our eyes closed of course" She gave him an honest smile, her own set of young teeth were small and flashing. He stared at her for a while, as if asking if she's sane.
"Father won't allow me to go for certain" Being acquainted with Luna Lovegood will cost him his rationality.
"That is why I am giving you a chance to go, love." His mother reasoned, still choosing to brush Draco's persistent refusal. "I know how much you've missed Miss Lovegood. That was a long week, wasn't it? And I've had enough of you moping around, waiting for her to come back. Surely love, you dreaded for this, hum?"
Luna giggled and he almost swore the heat that rose on his cheeks could boil the kettle upon the table.
"Meh, I've had the time of my life" he glared, almost convincingly, yet his feet were directed away from her position, a sign that he really dreads for the humiliation to stop. Narcissa saw his agitation, then was glad the father of her darling child was not around to see such slip. He had been quite on edge without his charming little friend for that one long week, barely letting himself experience what it was like to be a young boy, she thought it would be nice to finally see him let loose for a moment.
She truly loves it when the golden haired girl whisks her son away. Life as a pureblood is hard. Yet, being a Malfoy is tougher. She will tend him to be the perfect man, but not for now. She couldn't steal such sun from him.
"Goodness Draco, go now, take it as a form of duty, my dear" Her brows thinned the space that separates them. Yet though, her icy voice was trailed with a sense of order, something Draco had found relevant as she hardly use such tone.
"Fine, fine," he scoffed, "this better be good, Luna"
Luna's untamed mane shone by the sun's rays as she tilts her head. Her bright blue eyes looked daze staring at him and he almost swore he wore the funniest face for his curiosity and shock.
"Why are you looking at me funnily?"
She though, only cleared her throat then bowed dramatically, her hair strands meeting the ground, shielding away her dirty shoes.
"I'm thanking the wrackspurts"
Draco glanced back at his mother with a horrified expression, "what for?"
"They left your head willingly. Daddy said that's quite a rare occurrence. They must've feasted on your head for far too long, you know"
"Mother, I believe you can still stop me from leaving" Narcissa only smiled, almost nearing to a grin. Even at home, she still guards herself as to how to act and Lucius expected such from his one and only son as well. Inwardly, she envied the childhood Luna Lovegood was experiencing, to be able to act her age, to have the say to what she wanted for her own future. How Narcissa knows she'd give up alot of things just for Draco to have such freedom.
But that wasn't possible, yet still, she's thankful for the little angel that provided it for them.
Because even though she'd wish and wish of her heart's desires, Draco Malfoy was still destined to follow his father's footsteps.
"Father will not hear about this, alright Luna?"
As the two precious children leave the Malfoy manor, she cannot help but to sigh in defeat. When they grow into their own principles, would they remain as to how they are now? With no prejudices to worry, no drop of blood to honor whole-heartedly?
Narcissa can only hope.
The blue skies stretch at the top of his head, more than tens, probably already millions and millions, of soft cottony clouds wrapped the whole earth with gentleness, but it wasn't the case at all, Draco thought. His father was still frigid, even after seeing the light of the clouds, and probably, his silly, fluffy hearted friend, Luna Lovegood.
"Well?" she turned back to him, the excitement clear to her soft and odd features.
"I leave the manor when we go buy things and to attend parties and play with Parkinson and Greengrass, you know" He couldn't see what was the fuss about. She might've thought he doesn't go outside at all, but he does, really. He even spends his time in much prettier places than her chosen venue, like the parties Mrs. Zabini throws at their manor. The boy there was obnoxious but he really liked the set up for their garden.
"Are they your friends? They have such peculiar names. Greengrass is a mouthful, do you call them Green, instead? Grass is odd but I like it" She tiptoed from her feet to cross the small brooke, her long shoe laces dipping to the stream.
He might've cringed to her carefree actions if he wasn't too busy laughing. Daphne would ban him and will never want to see him again if he'd call her Grass.
That wasn't such a bad idea.
"No, those are their last names, Luna"
If she was him, he might've grew extremely red from the embarrassment. But she only shrugged and nodded, accepting his explanation as though he had not made her look silly.
They crossed the brooke and he wore a big smirk on his face because he did not get any water on his clothes. Father would be so proud- well, if he'll know, which he won't.
"Am I not your friend then, Draco?"
He paused for a moment, was to say she has to stop being silly but decided not to. She was the only companion he's secretly glad to have. His mother was not exaggerating when she said he was whole heartedly waiting for her to show up. He felt his cheeks grow hot as though he would confess something icky to her.
"Why'd you ask?"
"Because you call me Luna, instead of Lovegood"
"You are my friend, Luna Lovegood"
She stared at him and slowly, her mouth rises in a phase until almost all of her teeth were shown. He saw the way her eyes light up, so earnestly, he was so glad that he caused it.
"I am so happy, Draco Malfoy," he was about to make an indifferent retort when she grabbed his hand in her smaller one and yanked, "let's go, hurry, run"
For a girl that moves in feather like actions, she successfully had him running along with her. In his mind, he tried to defend his pride, explaining that he was caught off guard and well, he wanted to give in to what she wanted, but she truly whisked him away with her.
They ran with wet grass slightly dampening their shoes. If he was to think of that moment, he'd really throw a fit, for it was earth, soil, sticking to his brand new pair. His father will probably get angry by that. He'll probably know. But he strangely couldn't rationalize, his lungs were like fire and his nose was heaving air in and out frantically. He was like a dragon, it seems. Draco the Dragon. How fitting.
He removed her hand off of him and she complied with a knowing grin on her face. He stretched his arms to the side and looked up at the sky, the clouds were leaving him one by one but they never ran out. If he raised his hands, he swore he could catch them, but he was flying, and he wouldn't want to fall if he took his arms away from their flaring.
"I must be a dragon, I am a dragon, Luna look, I must be flying" Where did that come from, he didn't know. But his eyes were bewildered, looking back at toothy grin was still in place but he swore they widened much bigger, if that was possible.
"It gets better, close your eyes, Draco" Luna looked pretty running alongside him, her long hair was waving with the wind and her face was bare and pink. He furrowed his brows in confusion but she only nodded encouragingly and took his hand. "I'm here"
The world became dark and there was no blue skies or endless clouds. He was still running and only a warm hand inside his was comforting him, telling him not to stop. The air around him pass by his face and he suddenly became more aware of his own breathing and the sound of grass meeting his shoes.
"Luna? Where are you?" It was odd knowing he could take a peak, but he feared he would lose the comfort her hand was giving if he'll make her feel as if he does not trust her. So he continued on. Thankfully, he's still unharmed.
"I'm here, Draco" Her hand, the source of his trust, squeezed his to a halt. Slowly, she lets him go, only to feel her touch upon his shoulders. "Let's lay on this cloud" she said.
"What cloud?" He asked, not understanding how it could be possible, but still obliged.
He slowly brought himself down. Without seeing where they are, he can only register softness. They must be upon a patch, though he'd let Luna carry on just cause she wanted to.
"Can't you see me dragon? I'm hiding behind the clouds" Her voice was in their usual melodic state, drawing him in with her soft tone. "It's quite dark in here isn't it? But you'd still find me" Behind his eyes, he was trying to locate her. She must be there somewhere. He can feel her staring back, never judging, just guiding. Within the dark, he knows she's there to look after him.
"You're the moon aren't you?"
He couldn't do it.
He couldn't do it.
What is he to do with his sorry arse self?
He's a monster.
He's a coward.
and he can't fix the damned thing right.
It was so dark.
Soon enough, he'll follow next.
He fixed his tie one too many times. His hand was itching, his skin was burning. His eyes were tired but he was crying.
He felt it. Against his thumb, there were faint tugs from the bird's neck. For a moment it lived, then the next, it was still.
It was frigid and cold because he killed it. Much like what the dark lord will do to him soon. Is there even any life left to waste?
After failing the test, he did not know what to do with himself. He thought of his father, thought of the Malfoy name, thought of the many years spent practicing how to honor their pure blood, thought of his mother, his impending death. He spent his days trying to prove Potter, that old biased Headmaster, the dark lord, he was so much more than the golden boy, than their opinions, it turned out, all was in vain.
His own grave was already waiting for him the moment his own father disappointed the dark lord. He was born to die. But first, he really had to fail. He has to taste the poison and feel it darken his blood before life will drain him dry.
"Draco?" A soft voice against the dark. He couldn't see, couldn't concentrate properly. All was blurry and his eyes were already giving up, but he couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. He's alone.
He killed the damn bird.
Soft footsteps hurried to meet him. He felt a warm hand grabbing his malicious one. It was his hand that held the bird. The hand that felt its pulse. Inside his palm there was once a body full of warm flesh. From the past five years of his life, he saw that bird with its heart beating, its eyes flashing with so much life.
It was so trusting when he took it from its home.
He yanked his hand away form hers. Against the dark, he could feel her eyes watching him. She was probably judging but he does not have the energy to scare her off. He was already exposed. She knew. Of course, she always seem to know. It must be the last straw for her , to see that the boy she once knew of was no longer him.
In his stead was a killer and a coward. Who was he trying to kid? He's doing this not because he can. But because he's scared of his fate. He was a pawn of this silly game and all the while he thought it was a privilege. Who is he anyway? He's just Draco Malfoy.
with the name.
His knees weakened, his patellae meeting the dirt, the soil. Inside his chest, something broke. As if a bird's hum, it throbbed and settled uneasily on his ribcage, trying to break away. He was deranged and pitiful, his innocence rotting on the dirty ground.
Angry tears continue to fall so helplessly from his eyes, he couldn't see clearly, yet it wasn't necessary to brush them off, he was already too blind. The bird inside his chest roared, demanding release, he couldn't help but let its screams echo and leave.
Flying aves flew away from trees, sensing his agony and deciding not to offer him any form of their freedom. He watched, his head inclined as they soar. The evening was vanilla twilight, yet still everything was too dark. Whenever he closes his eyes, it gets even darker, almost as if the process of consuming him was almost near to perfection.
"Draco" He forgot she even exists, he forgot about warm hands and warm eyes. All was cold for some time now, he grew accustomed to the cage. Her arms crept up on him slowly, as if she was trying to open the prisoner he lived in for years. He felt her lively flesh, his head against her breast. Her heart, jumping up and down softly against his skin.
"You're alive," he was uncharacteristically blabbering; it was as if a shock, "your little heart is beating"
The little bird trusted him, it was alive before he sacrificed it just so he can prove a point. It was a fight not to be fought in the first place yet he needed it to draw conclusions for him. That little bird ended up headless. Luna Lovegood was airy and perhaps, askew.
He cared for them,
right after he used them for his advantage.
"Go away, Lovegood" He tried to push her off, but she held her spot. She tightened her arms and her fingers combed his hair as gentle as how he yearned it.
He whimpered slightly, closing his eyes as her touch seem to calm the darkness behind his eyes. She hushed as she sensed him worry, as though she heard the dark lord's hissing inside his head.
"I can't do it, I can't do this" Her fingers stopped a millisecond, registering that it was not the usual Draco who was running away from her, but rather, from the devils that were taunting him. To his surprise, he already sagged from his knees, and his arms snaked around her hips.
"Hum?" Her chest vibrated as her soft sound echoed from her body. His heart, the thing that's been screaming from his body, hushed, it was still further down his stomach, lonely and tired, reaching for her comfort, though he doesn't know how to come closer.
He felt ugly. Hideous and was still, a killer, a coward.
"It's heart was beating, it was so fragile" He mumbled against her.
Her hands coaxed him to go outside his cage.
He felt the dark lord linger inside his brain.
"He lingers," fresh tears pour from his eyes and he hid in the safety of her chest. She smelled of the woods and peaches, and coward's tears. He shivered against her skin, seeing the fact that she was too small, he might smother her. And if he did, how can he forgive himself? "-He killed me"
She pulled away slightly, his head in the palms of her hands. The absence of her heartbeat made him open his eyes, scared that he'd be trapped in his head that's never been his for a while now. She was still there, standing beneath him as her face tilts down to look at him.
Her fingers tenderly traced the remnants of his tears, kind blue eyes staring at his blotchy ones. "Draco, my poor, poor beautiful Draco. You're alright now"
He could've pushed her off, lash out, hate her for shoving her pity on him. But surprisingly, his heart ached a bit more. Exhaustion made his muscles be all alert though poor in energy. All he wanted now was to leave the metal bars that deprived him of ever feeling things, in the safety of Luna's gaze, he was just Draco Malfoy.
Just a boy
with a name.
"I'm scared, Luna" His voice still cracked and he swore he heard a faint sob come from her lips.
The night sky illuminates and her face was hooded in shadow. She grew closer to him, her hair shielding his cheeks, then the whole of his face. Her lips press themselves to his forehead, "Draco? I need you to rest your heart"
"Don't you see? I can't-"
Her hand travelled below the side of his jawline and pressed. His heart went back to their usual place, making sounds from itself as they travel up to her fingers.
"You're alive, still" she stated, "close your eyes, rest with me"
"It's too dark, everything's too dark"
Her fingers brought his lids down, "I'm here, Draco. I'm here. I'll look after you."
As he sees the familiar blankness behind his eyes, she also held him gently in her arms. "Where are you, Luna?"
"I'm here" She was oh so close, he could feel her breath against his forehead, felt her lips brush his skin in a comforting manner. In the dark, he could even smell her as she travel around his thoughts and chase all the fear with her eyes. She shone like a beacon of light and she watched him as he try to surrender to sleep.
"You're my moon" He whispered as though it was a confession of a sin. Though how can one sweet, sweet woman ever be something to hide from the world?
"And I always see you, dragon. My human, capable of mistakes. My beautiful Draco" He missed her so. She was the only one who can calm him, can reach the deepest, darkest and even the purest facet of his being. Somewhere, in his heart and soul, he knew he belonged to her and no amount of intrusion could erase her influence.
The poison in his veins cannot beat the water that is her. With her warmth, she sends pieces of herself in his blood, renewing him, reminding him of the past that makes him ache. For the rest of his days, he'll lament of it. Lament for the girl with the golden heart, but for now, she lets him free. And he flew away from the world, towards he only home he ever knew. The night sky, with his moon. "