Hey people, so I thought this was finished but a wonderful reviewer DarkKitKat suggested I add another chapter, so this is FOR said reviewer! Thank you all for the favs, follows and reviews I hope you enjoy!
It took time, there was no doubt there, for Cas to find his way around the bunker 'the human way'. It had been two months since he fell. He'd figured out, for the most part, how to cook, clean, and better use automatic weapons given that he had been so use to accessing his grace before. Most importantly his panic attacks were few and farther in between. That had been the most comforting, that he could make it through the night without screaming.
"Cas, where you at?" he heard Dean's voice down the hall.
"Library!" Cas called out, he was half way through a book called 'Frankenstein', a classic that Sam had recommended. Suffice it to say he found it intriguing and he remembered something Sam had said that it was important, to keep himself busy, either physically or mentally. If they were not on a hunt, doing research, he read constantly. The brothers had gone on a hunt, only two towns over, and after much convincing they went. Cas admitted to himself that he wasn't ready, and even though reluctantly, much convincing on Cas' part Dean left with Sam. Dean called him constantly the whole three days he was gone. Texts too that made Cas smile, slightly naughty texts (after Sam had gone to sleep, Dean had said) and that was enough to make Cas feel as if he weren't alone in the large, cold, bunker he hadn't quite marked as home yet.
"Of course you're in here, when are you not?" Dean smiled, making his way to the couch, bending at the waist to kiss the former angel on the mouth. As always, as in every time Cas fell into the kiss as if it were oxygen, he melted. All his time in existence, all his vast knowledge of humanity did not teach him this action right here. The simple act of a kiss, the way Dean's mouth was slightly warmer than his own, lip softer and thinner, his taste. And when Dean added a hand into the equation, threading rough fingers through his hair, he sighed with higher pitch to his voice and content, safe, wanted. Cas had been a virgin through and through when he and Dean began extracurricular activities, and he wasn't so much surprised as he was comforted by the fact that Dean never pushed. Also, Dean's first and foremost goal in the bedroom was to make Cas happy. Sated, for lack of a better word. Dean may not have known but Cas was slowly but surely taking mental notes, because he only wanted to make the man he loved happy and as well-loved as himself.
"You have a good day today?" Dean's voice broke the silence as well as the kiss, "You're really in your own head."
That was Dean's way of asking 'any panic attacks today', "I'm fine," Cas answered, "Merely thinking, were you able to find the source of the poltergeist?"
Dean shrugged off his jacket, "Yeah, was a bitch though, object was a hair brush and it took a helluva lot of convincing on Sammy's part for her to give it up."
"Well, all that matters is that the two of you were able to resolve the case. She may have not liked it but it is selfish to let a being wonder this earth so angry." Cas answered.
Dean leaned in for another kiss, tracing a thumb over Cas' lower lip after he'd pulled away, "You sure you're okay?"
"Yes, why do you ask?"
"Because I never asked enough before and I'm catching up, besides, you got left behind this time. I didn't like leaving you alone. Did you live on TV dinners the whole time?" Dean smirked.
Cas shook his head, "I was able to make the eggs you showed me, that was sufficient enough."
"You ate eggs the entire time we were gone?! Oh, sweetheart, you are getting a good dinner tonight."
"Dean, no, you're tired," Cas argued, brow furrowing.
"I want to," Dean interrupted, kissing him a third time, "I'm gonna take a shower, those motel joints suck at water pressure I feel stale."
Cas made a whine of disappointment when he moved away, "Dean…"
"I didn't say alone, come on," he winked, reaching out a hand.
And like every other time they had sex, Dean was everything that was attentive. Mapping out every inch of Cas' body with fervor, but always in control. Making Cas the one to beg and moan. Cas was more than satisfied, always was, but something was missing.
Dean had made burgers, the recipe that by now he had perfected in their time in the bunker. Even Sam, who was so big on his salads, ate with gusto.
"Good?" Dean smiled which easily garnered a smile from Cas, who nodded, "Well, we should be bunker bound for a while I'd think."
That made Cas unconsciously press closer to Dean at his side, and without thinking laying his head to Dean's shoulder. When Dean didn't flinch and Sam didn't seem too care he smiled again, closing his eyes and nuzzling closer into the clean cotton of Dean's flannel, his nose slightly grazing the exposed flesh of Dean's throat. Cas' smile widened when Dean shivered. He'd never shivered like that before.
Sam took the dishes from the table, stacked them on top of one another. Cas took advantage of the fact that the younger brother had moved away and pressed his lips to that same spot that was the crease between the human's throat and shoulder, only slightly sticking his tongue out and grazing there. Dean made a small, very minute yelp and Cas had to hold back a laugh.
In a rare act of boldness Cas pressed his lips to the shell of Dean's ear, "I want to go to bed now."
Dean, wide eyed, turned to Cas, licking his lips, "W-What?"
"Bed, now," Cas reiterated, brow rising over one too blue eye.
"So guys," Sam started.
"Think we're gonna turn in early," Dean interrupted, not breaking eye contact with the ex-angel, "B-Been a long day don't you think?"
Sam snorted, "Yeah, long day, get the hell out of here."
Cas found it infinitely delightful that he had Dean completely flustered. After all, so far, that had been Dean's his entire intention whenever they were intimate.
Dean had that usual 'take charge' look about him as Cas led him into the bedroom. When Cas pushed him to the bed Dean made a low grunt of surprise as his bottom hit the bed, "Lie still," Cas spoke softly, pressing a palm to Dean's chest, he dipped down and captured the human's lips and kissed him into oblivion. He may have not known other spots but kissing he knew well, if he sucked Dean's bottom lip, all the while cradling his face he could have him completely motionless. With this advantage he pulled away Dean's flannel, urging it recklessly down and away from Dean's arms, before testing fingertips along the hem, skimming Dean's hips before yanking it upwards and away from Dean's body.
"What has gotten into you?" Dean started to ask before his question was swallowed up by Cas' mouth.
"I wish to try something, and I do not want you to intrude. You are always so astute to touch, to taste…you have not allowed me the same luxury. I wish to eradicate that. So please, do as I say," and as Cas vocalized the command he guided Dean's hands above his head. Just when Cas thought Dean might protest he kissed that 'place' firmly and circled his tongue and Dean melted. Dean went completely lax to the bed, "You have been so wonderful," Cas began, kissing his forehead, both cheeks, tracking the bones there and then his lips, "You would do me such a service to do the same."
"Cas I don't…" and then he groaned loudly when Cas latched onto the pulse point of his throat, "I-I don't do that out of some servitude."
"I know that," Cas growled, nipping that same place, raising a small welt a delightful shade of pink and purple, "But you have not allowed me to do as I wish. I want to explore your body as you have done mine. I would like to do so. Every. Inch."
"Fuck," Dean made the same semblance of growling, "No, it's not like that," he gripped Cas' arms and forced him to face him, "It ain't like that, sweetheart…it's about making you feel good. You haven't for so long when I should have. I fucking should have," he shook his head, "I should have been fucking worshipping your body and I wasn't…"
Cas bit his own bottom lip and then dipped down and captured Dean's mouth, "These last few months, you've done more than enough and I love you. Now I'm loving you, and you will let me."
"Cas," Dean shuddered.
"No, you are letting me worship you and you will accept it," Cas snapped, and then he didn't take any time, as Dean's hands were still pinned above his head he made a slow, careful, deliberate track down Dean's throat to his chest. His eyes painted over Dean's chest, he licked, much like Dean had done so many times before, down his throat to his chest and took one nipple in his mouth. He sucked hard, circled his tongue, grazed ever so slightly with his teeth and Dean arched.
Cas moved one hand to the other nipple and pinched and rolled the perk nub between his fingers as he teased the other with is tongue. When Dean's arms came up Cas captured them, "No," he growled, "Down. This is for you." he repeated the words that Dean had so lovingly given on more than one occasion. Dean complied and groaned when Cas pushed his wrists to the bed and attacked his throat.
Cas worked downwards with his tongue with Dean's arms still above his head. Cas kissed over his nipples that were already red, and perk, he moved down his torso. He was careful with each kiss. Delivering kisses to his shoulders, to each one before trailing down his chest. He worked his tongue downwards, swirled around Dean's bellybutton, taking in every moment of his reaction. Every gasp, every shudder, every whimper. "Stay," he said again, when Dean's hands attempted to move as Cas slipped his tongue beneath the band of Dean's boxers. When Cas noticed this had Dean silently begging he did it again, and again, running his tongue underneath the elastic band of Dean's boxers over and over, each time diving farther and farther.
"Cas," Dean whimpered.
All the power Cas wished to harness came to life with that small utterance, "Stay still," he pressed kisses along the edge of Dean's hips, lingering on the junctions of those hips with the smallest of sucking, before soothing with his tongue.
He rose up from the utter writhing body, claiming Dean's mouth and then demanding his eye contact, "I am making you feel good."
Dean gulped, and nodded, "Cas…I…I never wanted you to feel like you had to…you deserve so much…so much…I wanted you to feel everything that I felt for you. I know…it's not enough…"
Cas swallowed roughly, filled with Dean's affection, "I know. I believe you, but I want to…" he paused, "I want to explore your body, if you would allow me to do so." he knew Dean was about to ask 'what is that?' but then Cas merely worked his way down once more. In some ways he mimicked what Dean would do to his own body, such as tracing his nose down his sternum, halting at the dip of his navel. Dean squeaked when Cas kissed the insides of his thighs, his knees.
"Just let me…" Cas argued, "And if you do not accept what I say I do believe I will be forced to tie you to the bed. Having you restrained and at my will, at my mercy, begging….I must say is quite intriguing. So do not test me…"
Dean groaned shamelessly at that comment, "Not saying no to that sweetheart."
Cas continued to kiss past his knees, sucking, nipping, licking the insides of his thighs, finding that that particular spot was indeed sensitive. He moved onto his knees caressing his palms over his legs, "I have always enjoyed your unique stance," Cas smiled, gently blowing breath in wake of the wet trails he was leaving behind. Dean shivered with that action.
"Is that a nice way of saying you don't mind that I'm bowlegged?" Dean tried to chuckle but fell short, his head falling back as the lips returned to his flesh.
"Oh, very much so," he resumed tracking his lips on increasingly trembling, freckled, skin, his ankles, the tops of his feet. Dean squawked loudly when Cas kissed the tops of his toes and continued his track back up exactly as he has started, "It is an insult on my part to have not explored your body. Yes, I put you back together, piece by piece, but this…this is different and so wonderful." Cas wanted to say that in this moment he could find what made Dean twitch and tick, moan, laugh, anything. But he didn't vocalize it. He was mesmerized that he had the power to make Dean speechless, to make him shake in all the right ways. He hadn't stopped his wandering hands, but had broken eye contact, kneading with his thumbs and forefingers into supple flesh. He kissed the head of Dean's penis, predictably making Dean buck without thinking.
"Shhh," Cas murmured against the sensitive appendage, kissing again and then licking around the crown, "You are so loving, so caring, so devoted." he punctuated with kisses all around Dean's length that had his human struggling for breath.
When Cas took him fully in his mouth Dean keened loudly, arching his back, "Ah Cas!"
Cas' goal was to make Dean emit the sounds he himself had done and thus far, due to his diligent observation, he was achieving it all quite well. And he wanted to make his point by making this entire endeavor about Dean. He was somewhat aware of his own arousal, but not as much as he was honed in on Dean's. And he thought, this is so powerful, so loving, so perfect, he could make Dean feel a way that no one else could. When Dean's hand's came down to tangle in Cas' hair, Cas relinquished his mouth, moving up the man's body and locked his arms above his head, "What did I say?" Cas wouldn't lie, he had felt completely powerless in his new found mortality, but here, now? He felt powerful.
"Cas," Dean whispered breathlessly, "Couldn't help it…"
Cas kissed his mouth featherlike, running his tongue alone the seam of his lips, keeping Dean's hands pinned above his head, "You are always saying you do not deserve such affection, such attention, but you are wrong. I have always wished I could do so. Just as you say you would have liked to give to me. It is no different. I should have acted, I should have told you how enamored I am with you." keeping Dean's hands in place, he moved his free hand down and gracefully slid slender fingertips over Dean's cock, deliberately pressing a thumb against the head, playing with the slit that was leaking pre-cum. Since Cas hadn't the opportunity to investigate such a thing he examined the glistening pearls between his fingers. He locked eyes with Dean and brought his fingers to his lips and sucked two fingers into his mouth, then pulling them out of his own mouth with a loud pop.
"You are killing me!" Dean groaned, "Cas, please, come one!"
Cas was certain Dean wasn't even sure what he was asking. He laced one hand of Deans with his own and pressed it to the bed, when Dean got grabby again he joined Dean's other with his own and locked them to the bed. He kissed Dean hard, purposeful and moved his right hand down and continued to stroke Dean vigorously, lining them both against each other in a way that had Dean panting and gasping and eventually fighting Cas' hands.
"Cas, let me go, come on!" Dean whimpered, arching up into Cas' knowing fingers that stroked him into near blindness.
Cas kissed him again, silent, thrusting their tongues together that had Dean without words. Dean came, hard alongside Cas, and huffing breaths of control with Cas saying, "Beautiful, beautiful, so beautiful, Dean, my beautiful Dean," Cas murmured continuing his kisses as they came down from their highs, kissing as Dean went boneless and limp. Dean's arms were listlessly holding Cas close, fingers twitching and clenching the flesh of his arms.
"I love you," Cas shushed against the flushed ear of Dean, such a lovely shade of red, he noted as he snuck his tongue out to trace the outline of the cartilage, "I love you so much."
"I love you too…." Dean exhaled, eyes closed and chest heaving.
Cas would have given his left arm to be able to clean them up and fall asleep, and so, like Dean usually did, he slipped from Dean's embrace. He moved quickly into the bathroom and wetted a cloth under hot water and was returning to the bed and bathing at the pinkish skin, spotted with lust.
"Cas," Dean rasped, "Come back to bed."
"I am," Cas smiled, tossing the cloth into the sink and quickly tucking himself back underneath the covers and pulling Dean close. What made him even happier was that Dean allowed it, allowed him to be pulled to Cas' chest without struggle
"What got into you?" Dean slurred, sleep edging obviously along his consciousness.
"It is something I have wanted for a long time," he kissed Dean's forehead, pulling the blankets up furthers until they were safely cocooned, "You are so beautiful, I think I am allowed to state as such."
Dean grumbled something indecipherable, but he did nuzzle against Cas' naked throat, arms wrapping around the ex-angel's waist tightly, "Love you."
"I love you, always," Cas sighed, arms tightening around his human, ex-angel or not, he was his human. Always would be.