Disclaimer: these characters are not mine – they belong to JK Rowling
AN: I love writing humorous Tomione fics, so here is another one! so far, I actually have 8 or 9 chapters written, so I'll be updating this regularly until it's completed - Please take a moment to leave me a review!
Chapter 1 – The Incident
"Give it here, Harry!" Hermione shouted as Harry held up the time turner just out of her grasp.
"Hermione, you've been using this thing way too much. You look like shit; when was the last time you slept?" Harry scolded her
"That's none of your concern! I'll be late for my History of Magic Class if you don't give it to me right now!" She shouted as she jumped to try and grab it out of his hands. As she jumped trying to reach it, her fingers accidentally grazed the rings of the time turner, spinning them. Harry and Hermione both froze and looked at each other in horror, clasping their hands as they were hurtled violently back in time.
They landed on the floor with a thud, her head landing on his stomach.
"Dammit, Hermione! Look what you did!" Harry yelled, knowing as well as she that time turners could only take you backwards, not forwards in time.
"It's not my fault, you prat! If you hadn't taken it from me this never would have happened!" she screeched.
"Wait a minute…When are we?" He asked, suddenly aware that they would need to figure out what happened and either hide or think of a clever cover story fast.
Hermione took the time turner from his hands, gently this time, and noticed with a mounting sense of horror that when her hand had bumped the time turner, not only did it hit the rings to turn them, it also nudged the setting from "hours" to "decades".
"Fuck!" Hermione said covering her mouth with her hand
Harry looked at her shocked, never having heard her use language like that before, "What?" he said slowly, not wanting to hear her answer.
"This is bad…" she seemed to be muttering to herself.
"Just tell me! What is it?" Harry yelled again and grabbed her by the shoulders forcing her to look at him.
Before she could answer him, she saw an issue of the Daily Prophet discarded haphazardly on the common room floor. She wrenched free from his grasp, and ran over to it, wanting to confirm what she had already suspected.
She sucked in another horrified breath and held the paper out to Harry.
"The date, Harry…Look at the date." She said, tears already beginning to well in her eyes.
Harry grabbed the paper from her hands, and paled when he read the date. A look of rage crossed his face for a brief moment before he fought it under control, trusting himself to speak.
"Really Hermione? 1943?! What the Fuck are we supposed to do now?! How the hell are we going to get back?" He yelled, his voice getting more high pitched as he went.
"Harry, I'm sorry, it was an accident! There has to be a way for us to get back. Even if I have to break into the Department of Bloody Mysteries, I'll get us back home, I swear it." She said, wanting to make this right. He was literally her only friend, and if he couldn't forgive her, she didn't know what she would do.
Harry seemed to calm at her words, he took a deep breath, and reached out to touch her shoulder, "It was just as much my fault as yours. We're stuck here for the time being, and it's not going to get us anywhere arguing about it, so lets just put it in the past and move on." Harry said tiredly.
Hermione just looked at him, then burst out laughing, "Put it in the past? HA!" she was borderline hysterical with tears rolling down her cheeks. Harry laughed too, despite himself, and after a few minutes, she finally regained control.
"Okay, so we're at Hogwarts, still in the Gryffindor common room, and it's…" Harry looked at the magical clock on the mantle above the hearth, "It's 1:30 in the morning…everyone is asleep. We don't exactly belong here, so let's go to the room of requirement, so we can figure out what we are going to do." Harry said thoughtfully. Hermione shook her head and agreed. Thankfully, Harry at least did have the Marauder's map in his back pocket, but other than that and the time turner, which was pretty well useless to them now, they only had the clothes on their back, and their wands.
Thankfully, with the use of the map, they were easily able to get to the room of requirement without being seen. As they stood in front of the large wall where the door would be, Hermione paced back and forth in front of it, imaging a small studio style suite with two twin beds and a loo. This would have to do until they could figure out what to do.
Harry walked in first, and once Hermione entered, he locked and warded the door out of habit behind them. He dropped down onto the couch, and rubbed a hand over his tired face.
"Now, what do you propose we do?" he asked, since she was usually the one to come up with all the brilliant plans.
"Well, we can't use our real names…well, surnames at least, since people will recognize them in the future. Also, Hogwart's is the safest place to be, considering Grindelwald was just recently defeated, and there is still quite a bit of unrest in the wizarding community. We have no money of course, since our Gringott's accounts haven't been set up yet…" Hermione mused.
"What about Dumbledore?" Harry asked, knowing they would need an ally.
"We can't tell him anything", Hermione protested, "though I admit, he may be the answer to helping us enroll into Hogwart's; maybe he can also give us some side duties so that we can earn some money too."
"What if we allow him to see one simple memory, that gives nothing away, other than that he does know us in the future, and that he trusts us. Maybe that would be enough to convince him to help us. We are just kids after all, I mean, do you think if we told him what happened he would just kick us out?"
"That may be best", She agreed. "I know you are not supposed to be seen when time travelling, but I think that rule is more applicable to when you travel back within your own timeline, so as to avoid running into your other self; here, we haven't even been born yet, so there is no chance of that…and hopefully, I can find a way to get us home long before we will have to worry about that." She reasoned.
"Okay, we should go see the Professor Dumbledore now then, he'll probably be more willing to help us if he knew we came to him straightaway rather than dithering about the castle." Harry said.
"Alright" she agreed, "But, Harry, remember, Professor Dumbledore isn't the headmaster yet. He's the deputy Headmaster, and the transfiguration professor." Hermione reminded him.
"Good thinking, Hermione, His office is probably where Professor McGonagall's office is in our time." Harry said pulling out the map once again. Sure enough, they saw a dot on the map with the name "Albus Dumbledore" hovering next to it. Apparently, he was pacing in his office.
Harry quickly led her out of the room of requirement, and down to Professor Dumbledore's office. Once they reached his door, Hermione hesitantly raised her hand to knock, and Harry sighed and pushed her aside and knocked forcefully. Hermione shot him a glare, but let it be.
The door swung open, and Harry found himself nose to wand with a much younger version of Professor Dumbledore. His hair was not the long white they had known, but rather a rich auburn. He had noticeably less wrinkles, though he still did wear his half-moon spectacles. The twinkle in his blue eyes, Hermione noticed to her dismay, was visibly absent.
Harry and Hermine both held up their hands in supplication, with Harry speaking up first, "Professor Dumbledore. It is very important that we speak with you straightaway. We need your help!" Harry pleaded, hoping to play on the older man's sympathies.
"Who are you, and how did you get here?" Professor Dumbledore said evenly, as he stared unblinkingly at Harry and Hermione, with his wand still raised.
"You see, Professor, it was my fault…"Hermione started to say
"We had an accident", Harry interrupted before she could say too much in the hall. "Please professor, we will tell you everything you need to know, but this conversation is best held in private." Harry said his gaze moving down the hall, falling on some of the nearby portraits, whose inhabitants were leaning in closely trying to hear what they were saying.
Professor Dumbledore, after a moment, opened his office door and nodded for them to enter, though he kept his wand trained on them.
Once inside the office with the door warded, Professor Dumbledore looked at them expectantly. They were clearly children, probably no more than 6th years, but he did not recognize them as Hogwart's students, which was what concerned him the most…how had they gotten past the castle's wards? In the middle of the night no less?
"Start talking" Dumbledore said, still holding the wand towards them.
"You see professor, we…that is to say…I…wanted to take as many classes as I could, you see…" Hermione began to ramble nervously
Professor Dumbledore just stared at her in confusion, until Harry interrupted her rambling once again.
"Professor, we are student's at Hogwart's…just…not from this time." Harry said, hoping he would understand.
Professor Dumbledore's eyes widened in shock, as he realized that the two standing in front of him were time travelers. It made sense now that they wouldn't have triggered the castle's wards since they were in fact students, but the questions remained; how had they come back, and from when…
Hermione took the opportunity to cut in again, "As I was saying professor, I was using a time turner to take extra classes you see…don't look at me like that, I was given permission by my head of house. Everything was going swimmingly until Harry and I got into an argument about it. Well, he grabbed the time turner from me, and in our scuffle over it, well…we accidentally triggered the time turner…" she trailed off.
Professor Dumbledore could see that they were telling the truth, the girl looked like she was about to be sick on his shoes. Still, he would require proof before agreeing to help them.
"And do you still have this time turner Miss…?" Professor Dumbledore asked
"Oh yes! And it's Miss…wait. I'm not going to give you my real last name…that could be detrimental to our future you see…my first name is Hermione though, and this is Harry." Hermione pulled the time turner out from her robes and handed it very carefully to Professor Dumbledore.
"Extraordinary" he breathed as he looked at the chain holding the small hourglass surrounded by multiple golden rings.
"Professor, I know this is a lot to take in, but we really do need your help. We don't, as of right now, have any way of returning to our own time, and…we were hoping that we could continue our education here while we try and find a solution." Harry asked hopefully.
"Mr…Harry. I appreciate your situation, however, you must understand, these have been dark times. I have many enemies, and I can't be too careful. I trust that you will understand that I require more than just your word, and a time turner to trust you. You have two options; either allow me to view a memory in my pensieve that you feel wouldn't jeopardize the timeline, or I will be forced to enter your mind myself." He said forcefully.
Harry chose an innocuous memory of himself with Professor Dumbledore talking in the Gryffindor boy's dormitories at the end of his fourth year, when Professor Dumbledore told him about how he had set the bed curtains on fire when he was a student.
He stood back with Hermione, while the professor plunged his face into the pensieve to view the memory.
"Harry, you didn't show him anything that would give him knowledge of the future, did you?" Hermione asked worriedly.
"No, Just a memory of him telling me about something he himself did in his youth. It would show him that not only were we telling the truth about us being students here at Hogwart's, but also that he trusted me." Harry said confidently.
They watched as the professor stood and made his way behind his desk, looking just a tad older than he had been only moments ago.
"I believe you are telling the truth" he finally said, "But I must ask you one last question" he said holding up a hand to them. "What year did you come from?" He asked.
Hermione cleared her throat, "1997, Professor." She said and looked down at the floor, guilt written across her face.
"So let me make sure I am fully understanding this; you both are students of Hogwart's in the year 1997…and you accidentally sent yourself fifty-four years into the past using this time turner." He asked for confirmation.
Both Harry and Hermione averted their gaze and nodded quietly.
"Merlin's beard." Was all Dumbledore managed to say, as he rubbed a hand tiredly over his face.
"You must tell no one else of this, you understand?" he asked, and once again they nodded.
"I shall have to have a word with Headmaster Dippet. You will be registered as transfer students. You are starting your sixth year, correct? You will continue from there, naturally. You will of course have to be re-sorted."
Harry looked terrified for a moment at the thought that he might end up separated from Hermione if they were sorted into different houses, but also more horrifying to think that he might not be placed in Gryffindor.
"I trust that you can come up with a convincing enough background story?" He asked them.
"Yes Professor. If it is alright, can we stay in the room of requirement for tonight? It would look too suspicious if we were to be brought into any of the dormitories at this late hour. We should be able to have a convincing enough story by morning." Hermione offered.
"I think that would be best." Professor Dumbledore agreed.
A short while later, Professor Dumbledore had escorted them to the room of requirement, and bid them good evening. He had told them to be in his office at 7am sharp, before the students would be heading down to breakfast.
Once the door was firmly closed and warded behind them, Harry breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that Professor Dumbledore was on their side.
"We need to think of a cover story. First we'll need names." Hermione said thoughtfully, "Any ideas?"
Harry thought about it, and offered, "Topper. Harry Topper."
Hermione arched an eyebrow at him, "And what shall I call myself? Hermione Grengar? That is horrid. And so obvious."
"How about Harry and Hermione Jones…average, boring, and wholly uninteresting. Obviously, we will need to claim to be muggleborn siblings, since any other status would come with a recognizable family name. We can even use Grindelwald as an excuse as to why our parent's decided to have us homeschooled with a witch governess until now. We can say our governess was Eunice Murray! She was a seeker for the Montrose Magpies, who had famously petitioned for there to be a faster snitch, because the current snitches were just too easy to catch! That would easily explain why you are so good at quidditch, especially being a seeker. We can say that she was a friend of our mother's family. Also, it helps that Poor old Eunice passed away last year…no one would be the wiser!" Hermione said excitedly.
"Hermione, you're brilliant!" Harry said before yawning.
"I suppose we should get some sleep. Tomorrow will very likely be a long day" Hermione said, and flopped back onto her twin bed.
Harry nodded, and crawled into his own bed, "Goodnight Hermione."
"Goodnight Harry." Hermione replied before letting sleep take her.