AN: And I'm back, with even more Bakushima (or perhaps I should go with KiriBaku – a cutting explosion! Better than an exploding island, honestly…) garbage. This ship will be the death of me, I swear… at some point, I'm totally going to do a Harry Potter crossover (DEATH BATTLE: BAKUGOU VS. UMBRIDGE – BEGIN!), but not for a bit, I think. Ah… it appears that Todoroki/Midoriya is a pretty popular ship, isn't it? I like it too, to be honest, but I prefer Todoroki/Yaoyorozu and Midoriya/Uraraka (or Midoriya/Asui, or Asui/Midoriya/Uraraka). My ships are confusing for this series, really… I ship Iida/Hatsume, for starters! They'd make an odd pair, don't you think? Anyhow, on with the story!
Title: A Complete and Total Lack of Subtlety
Summary: In which Aizawa-sensei makes an offhanded remark about a VERY BIG SECRET, and Bakugou learns that literally everyone already knows. Literally. Everyone.
Characters: Aizawa Shouto/Eraser Head, Bakugou Katsuki, Kirishima Eijirou/Red Riot, and honestly pretty much everyone else in 1-A
Pairings: Kirishima/Bakugou, hints of others
Warnings: Spoilers through chapter 97, implied naughtiness (and by 'implied' I mean 'all but flat-out stated')
It began with the announcement of roommates. There were to be two students to a room (no, they aren't going to be co-ed, Mineta, forget it), which immediately led to everyone trying to pair off. Aizawa-sensei waited for a moment, and then smirked.
"Of course, we've already decided on roommates," he announced, looking almost cheerful (tormenting his students was one of the only non-lethal forms of entertainment he had, really).
"Wait, we don't get to choose?" Kaminari asked, looking confused. Ashido smacked the back of his head.
"They've already been decided, genius," the pink heroine-in-training said, rolling her eyes. Aizawa cleared his throat.
"Yes, and I'm going to announce them now," he declared. "Girls, I'll start with you." The girls glanced around at one another, almost as if they were sizing each other up. "Uraraka and Asui, you're in Room 101. Jirou and Yaoyorozu, you two are in Room 103. Hagakure and Ashido are in Room 105."
"Only odd numbers?" Uraraka wondered.
"Sounds like they're using an American hotel system," Asui explained. "The odd numbers are on one side, and the even numbers are on the other side. Boys get the even numbers, probably."
"The boys are going to be that close?" Yaoyorozu asked, giving Mineta an uncomfortable look.
"I'll deck him if he tries anything," Jirou said, giving her roommate a grin.
"The girls' rooms are all connected to the girls' bathrooms," Aizawa continued, as if he hadn't heard anything. "Boys cannot access them, and vice versa." Mineta seemed to deflate. Kirishima gave him an irritated look.
"Dude, those girls are our classmates," he said. "Show a little respect." Ashido gave Kirishima a grateful smile, and he grinned back at her.
"Shut the hell up and get on with it," Bakugou growled. He was ignored.
"Now for the guys," Aizawa said, smirking at Bakugou's short temper. "Midoriya and Todoroki are in Room 102. Tokoyami and Iida are in Room 104. Mineta and Shouji are in Room 106 – Shouji, keep an eye on him." Shouji nodded, giving Mineta a stern look. The short boy groaned in exasperation.
"Come on!" he whined.
"Ojiro and Aoyama are in Room 108," Aizawa went on, talking over Mineta's moaning. "Kaminari and Sero are in Room 110. And, obviously, Bakugou and Kirishima are in Room 112."
"What the fuck do you mean 'obviously'?" Bakugou snarled. Aizawa gave him a bored look.
"I mean that obviously pairing either one of you up with anyone else would be a disaster," he said dully. A small grin appeared on his face. "Try to keep the noise level down, though – the rest of us would rather not know what you're getting up to." At this, Bakugou turned a very bright shade of red and began spluttering. Most of it seemed to be swearwords. Kirishima, also rather red, scratched the back of his head nervously.
"Was that really necessary?" he mumbled. Asui shrugged.
"It's not like it's a secret or anything," she said bluntly. Bakugou made a strangled choking sound, and Uraraka gasped.
"Was it supposed to be a secret?" she asked, looking horrified.
"Don't be silly," Jirou said, popping a bubble of gum. "Nobody trying to keep a secret is that freaking obvious."
"Yeah," Hagakure agreed. "I mean, remember the Sports Festival?" Kaminari grinned.
"You were staring at his ass the whole time," he told Kirishima, who groaned and smacked himself in the face. Bakugou rounded on him.
"You were what?" he shrieked. Midoriya timidly stepped forward.
"Kacchan," he murmured. "Everyone already knew."
"How?" Bakugou demanded. Todoroki rolled his eyes.
"Because Kirishima is the only person you treat like a human being," he said drily. "He's also the reason we were able to rescue you, since he's the only one you'd accept help from."
"I wasn't rescued by anyone!" Bakugou roared. "I just figured escapin' with you idiots was my best chance! I didn't wanna get in All Might's way, that's all!" Kirishima gave him cheerful grin and the thumbs up gesture.
"Whatever you say, dude!" he said happily. It was, at this point, hard to tell if Bakugou's face was red from anger or embarrassment.
"Fuck this," he growled. "I'm goin' to the goddamn room." He turned to storm off, but Aizawa called after him.
"There's one more thing," he said, not even trying to hide his smirk. "It appears that we have a bit of a… bed shortage, you might say." Bakugou stopped dead.
"What." The explosive teen growled. Aizawa shrugged innocently.
"Bed shortage," he repeated. "We thought we had enough, but one of them seems to have disappeared, so until we can replace it…"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT FUCKING 'DISAPPEARED'?" Bakugou bellowed furiously. "FUCKING BEDS DON'T JUST FUCKING GET UP AND WALK THE FUCK AWAY! SO WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?" Jirou wasn't even trying to hold back her grin.
"Aw, don't worry!" she teased. "Now you have an excuse to cuddle!" It seemed that this particular comment was the straw that broke the camel's back (or, in this case, Bakugou's brain). He seemed to have short-circuited, and he just stood there, gaping like a fish, with tiny little explosions popping in his hands (the explosions too seemed to have completely lost all sense of purpose they might once have had). Kirishima sighed, and grabbed Bakugou's hand, using his own Quirk to protect himself from the miniature bombs that were currently going off in said area.
"Great, I think you broke him," he complained. "I'm gonna take him to the dorm room now before he kills someone." Kirishima began to drag Bakugou away.
"He might do that tomorrow anyway," Midoriya said, a look of worry crossing over his face. Uraraka smirked.
"That can be easily dealt with," she said cheerily. "Hey, Kirishima!" she called after him. He glanced over his shoulder.
"Deku-kun is worried that Bakugou will murder everyone tomorrow," she told him. "Maybe we'd have a better chance of survival if you helped him get off some stress."
"Or if he just can't walk," Hagakure called, her glove covering her mouth (at least, it was probably her mouth – kinda hard to tell). Kirishima reddened, but grinned.
"But I thought you wanted us to be quiet," he said, giving them his most innocent look. The classroom exploded into laughter as Kirishima tugged the still shell-shocked Bakugou off to the dorm room.
When Bakugou showed up for class the next day, he gave each and every person he saw a filthy look as he limped past. Kirishima followed behind him with a very red face, quietly whispering 'thanks' to every person Bakugou glowered at.
AN: I sinned. I'm sorry. No, that's a lie, I'm not even a little sorry. I love these two… I don't know what sort of number system Japan uses in hotels and dorms, but I know that a lot of places don't use the system we have here in the States, so I figured I'd use Asui to explain that. Sorry if it got confusing. ^_^ Kitty out!