ER VS THE "EVILAUTHORS" AND THE TERRIBLE YOUTH ELIXER INCIDENT
By Sven & Cassi (Evilspoofauthors1&2)
*****************************************************************
Disclaimer: The characters in this fic come from a variety of different places, including
ER (duh), Lone Gunmen, The Family Channel series Zorro, the Xanth series by Piers
Anthony, BtVS, Men in Black, MacGyver, The Mummy, Jurassic Park 1-3, and whole lot more
that come to be more than we can list here. Original characters belong to Cassi and Sven
with the exception of the people/authors added later on. They belong to themseves, and
the characters with them belong to them. Jawas are of the evilauthors, and Fiddles belongs
to Sven. The others will be returned in working order and we take no blame for their
altered mental status. Some of them were screwed up long before WE got there!
****************************************************************
For those people who always wondered what we do during those long breaks we take in
the middle of spoofs. This particular break was taken during Sven's "A Spoof of Chameleon"
and, to give an exact location, it was shortly after "Forbidden Spoof: The Hunter" ended.
So there will be stuff mentioned that have not taken place yet. Events from all our current
spoofs....the ones we're WRITING now, not the ones we're typing now.

This isn't a spoof.......well it's spoof related, but not a spoof. We are torturing the cast
from "ER". Why you ask....well we were kinda mad because Romano didn't tell us he lost
his arm...........Anyway, you will love this.....it takes place in the "ER" of course. Ninth,
season. Mahk.....er Mark is dead....well in real life. Not on our set, no he is involved in
this. And so is someone we brought back in Chameleon(Xanth spoof)Lucy Knight.

Cassi owns Chris Mason, and the rest are participating of their own free will....well, except the
ones we're torturing....but they'll get told eventually. We don't own them and are making no
money for driving them completely insane, so you can't sue us. So without further wastng of
time, here it is......"Between the Spoofs"........
*******************************************************************
THE SPOOFSET**Lounge&Breakroom**During breaktime
***********************************************
Sven and Cassi both bored are throwing darts, which they do quite often. The
dart board is covered with pictures of several of the "ER" doctors. To name them; Carter
and Kovac swordfighting, Benton, Malluci, Romano, Corday, another pic of Carter, another
of Kovac, one of Weaver and one of Gallant. Romano is on the bulls-eye....his neck.
Most of the pix of guys are almost full length.

Mark Greene, also bored, wandered in just as Sven's dart hit the Romano picture in the chest.
On another note, it's a good thing Greene didn't see the other side. He's on it full length.
We have two cast shots on the other side. Full cast, full body poses. (evil grin)Emmy
the two pictures we sent you are on the other side. Anyway, Greene came in.

"Do you do this often?" He asked, in a casual tone of voice.

Sven nodded and threw another dart, this one hitting Weaver between the eyes.

Another of the bored permanant cast, Lucy Knight, entered the room.

Greene shrugged, grabbed a dart and threw it, hitting Corday between the eyes. "Oops!"

"Nice shot!" Cassi congradulated.

Langly entered, and eyed the dartboard. Once seeing it, he sighed, relieved. "Good. I'm not
on it!" He breathed.

"This time." Cassi remarked, grinning. **As he was at one point**

Lucy raised an eyebrow. "You must do this quite often." She murmured.

"Only when we're bored........well somewhat bored." Sven remarked, with a yawn. "Although,
this is getting boring."

Cassi crossed the room and pulled a few darts out, leaving the one in Corday's head,
as it is considered a "good shot." As she pulled the one out of Romano, she grinned. "Oh,
he looks to cute when he's angry!" She remarked.

Greene and Lucy exchanged a look, as Sven snickered. Langly took a seat and glanced
at the board.

"I wonder what they were like as children?" He mused.

A sly smile crossed Sven's face. "That's it!! A way to remedy the boredom of between
spoofs." She exclaimed, pleased with the idea.

Cassi, catching on, also grinned. "The "ER" vs the Evil Authors in the terrible youth
elixir incident!"

Greene grinned. "I have got to SEE this one!" He answered, with a laugh.

Langly joined the group. "Yeah, we can install extra cameras and hack into the security
system." He suggested. "Then we all can watch it from the van."

"We will have to make them forget the spoofs for this, though." Sven put in.

"Will that be difficult?" Lucy wanted to know.

Cassi shook her head. "No same as always. We just snap our fingers."

Sven nodded and then grinned again. "I've got an idea! We can send invites to Benton,
Dave, Carol, and Doug. That way we can get them ALL!!!"

"What about Cleo?" Greene asked.

"Somebody needs to watch Reese." Sven informed him.

Chris entered and eyed the group. "Who are you torturing this time?"

Greene rolled his eyes. "They have it coming!" He protested.

"Ohhh." Chris nodded, mischievously and glanced at the dartboard, and frowned. "Who
creamed your widow?" He asked.

Greene made a sheepish look. "It was an accident." He countered.

"Nice shot!" Chris told him.

Lucy shrugged, took a dart, and threw it at the dartboard. The dart hit the Romano picture
between the legs.

Sven and Cassi exchanged a look and burst out laughing.

"BULLSEYE!" Cassi yelled, causing Lucy to break out laughing. **side note: Cassi does like
him. This is how we show it. He wouldn't be her Assistant if she didn't**

Chris looked at Greene. "Be careful. Their disease is catching." He warned, with a grin.

Greene shrugged and threw another dart, which hit the Weaver picture in the neck.

"I'll get the rest of the Gunmen." Langly told them, and hurried out.

Chris sat down. "I am NOT missing this one!" He informed the Evil Authors.

"Missing what?" Luis Ramone asked, as he entered.

"They're going to turn the "ER" cast into five-year-olds." Chris told him.

Ramone glared at the Authors. "I wondered where that dark elf got that idea!" He growled.
**another note. In another spat of boredom we turned Zorro and Alcalde Ramone into
five year olds.**We do this often. ^_^**

"Oh, be a good sport! You wanna watch?" Sven questioned.

"Watch?" Ramone asked, and then grinned. "Are you kidding?! I'm HELPING!"

Chris shook his head and laughed. "Romano is going to be pissed!" He pointed out.

Cassi made a face. "Well maybe he should have told us he got his arm chopped off by
a helicopter blade."

Greene's mouth dropped in shock. "When did that happen?"

"You're dead, remember? A lot of things have happened!" Sven informed him, bluntly.

"I wish I could'a seen that one!" Lucy put in.

Cassi made another face. "You aren't the only one! And it isn't fair! My Assistant lost his
arm and I didn't get to SEE it!" **Yes, we missed the beginning of season nine, and did not
find out about Romano's untimely accident until quite recently, I'm afraid....naturally, we were
a bit miffed about it.**

"I wanna know what kind of an IDIOT drops his clipboard under the back of a helicopter
and then gets close enough to lose his arm while trying to retrieve it?!?" Sven demanded.

"He did WHAT?!" Greene exclaimed. "I thought he was smarter then that. Hm...guess I was
wrong."

"He was distracted, he was fighting with Kovac over which patient was the worst." Cassi
protested, defending him. "I'll add that he was right his patient was the worst. He died while
Kovac rushed Romano downstairs before he bled to death or died of shock."

Sven started laughing.

"That isn't funny." Greene retorted. "That must have been awful!"

"That's okay, the helicopter guy complained because Romano broke the blade." Cassi
went on.

Lucy joined Sven in laughing, while Greene shook his head.

"I think someone also mentioned that when they first got up there, Romano told Kovac
he could use the helicopter when he was done with it. HOWEVER.......well .....um that's
pretty much self explainitary." Cassi concluded.

Greene, finally unable to control himself any longer, busts out laughing. As soon as
everyone is finally finished laughing, Sven pulls out her spoof scrapbook.

"I have some pictures.**which I'll note were printed out for the scrap book only...these will
not be posted or copied anywhere.** Sven pointed at a page. "See here it is...'Romano
Sliced and Diced' page. Right next to the Corday and Romano 'couples' page." **We are
both "Cordano" shippers, as we both believe those two would make the most perfect
couple!!!**

Greene covered his mouth and hurried from the room.

"You made him sick!" Chris pointed out, snickering.

"You would be surprised at how many "Cordano" shippers there are, out there." Cassi
retorted, matter-of-factly. "They're perfect for each other. They fight like they're married, and
have since they both came in. You can tell they both enjoy insulting each other."

"Where did you get these pictures?" Lucy asked, curious.

"The Romano pictures? (most of them) They came from someone we think is stalking him.
The rest came from a lot of places." Sven answered. "Now we need to plan this out."

**Paul McCrane fan's screencaps....this is the only way we could think to explain it. As I
said, we printed a few out to paste into our spoofcharacter scrapbook, which contains pix of
nearly every character on our set. It is for our own personal files, and we do not copy it.**

****************************************************************
And and now the fun is about to begin..........
************************************
COOK COUNTY GENERAL HOSPITAL**ER entrance area**
*************************************************
Langly and the rest of the Lone Gunmen walked through the door heading straight
for the front desk where Jerry is seated, looking somewhat bored. He straightened,
when he saw Langly heading toward him.

"Can I help you?" Jerry asked.

Langly smiled and nodded. "Yes, we're the guys from "Securatech". We are here to
repair and replace a few of the security cameras." He told him, pointing at his crew.

Jerry nodded and handed him the clip board to sign in. As Abby Lockhart passed the
Admit desk with John Carter, Langly heard her whispering.

"Why can't my hair be like that...that is so not fair." She remarked to Carter, pointing at
Langly's long blond hair that he had held back in a ponytail. Carter shrugged and the two
disappeared around a corner.

Langly handed the clipboard back to Jerry and took the visitor's badges that Jerry handed
to him. He passed them out to the team and thanked Jerry.

As they walked away from the desk, Jimmy Bond hurried up to Langly. "I can't believe
Carter just ignored us!" He complained.

Langly gave him a brainduster. "He's not suposed to know us, DUMMY!" He told him.

"Oh." Jimmy frowned. "Why not? We HAVE been working with him for ages now."

Langly glared at him. "Because we're turning them into five year olds."

"We are? I thought we were delivering cameras." Jimmy mused. **Apparently, Jimmy was
not told everything.**

"Jimmy just shut up!"Byers ordered. "BEFORE we get caught."

"Why did "Gigantor" have to come, anyway?" Frohike wanted to know.

Langly glared back at them all. "All of you shut up and do your job."

*******************************************************

An hour later, they are installing cameras to the surgery floor. Jimmy turned a corner and
ran right into Elizabeth Corday and Robert Romano in the middle another of those fights they
ALWAYS have.

Romano glared at Jimmy. "Who are you and what are you doing up here?" He demanded.

"I'm a well I'm from a security place, installing security cameras......." Jimmy stuttered out
caught off-guard.

"Right. Security cameras....and who authorized this?" Romano questioned, raising an
eyebrow.

"The uh.....um...uh...the guy who uh.....runs the place." Jimmy replied.

An amused look came to Romano's face. "Really? And when was this order signed?" He
asked, crossing his arms, staring Jimmy down.

"Uh.....um it's........uh it's recent...uh...uh...uh..today...." He trailed off as he saw Corday
hide a smile.

"I must say. I love it when people try to lie to me." Romano mused with an evil grin.

Jimmy made a face. "Um.....what do you mean?" He countered, trying to cover.

"Alright....here is the deal. I happen to be the Chief of Staff here, and I don't remember
anyone bringing an order of security cameras past me." Romano told him, suddenly turning
serious. "So why don't you tell me who you really are, and what the hell you're doing here."

"Wow... you're the Chief of Staff? Does this mean you, like, run the place?" Jimmy asked
amazed. He had obviously not known this fact, and was completely taken off-guard.

Elizabeth started laughing, although, tried to disguise it by coughing.

Romano turned to look at her. "I suppose you find this funny?" He growled.

She clamped a hand over her mouth and shook her head as her shoulders shook
supressed laughter.

"Did someone in the Psych ward lose a patient?!" He yelled, loud enough to wake the dead.

Langly bolted around the corner. "Oh he works for us. He's new." He put in, quickly, seeing
who he was talking to.

"And you are?" Romano demanded.

"We're from 'Securatech' and we were hired to install and replace some of the old cameras.
We just are doing our job. Can't tell you who the order came from. You might want to call
up the main office." Langly told him and handed him a card

Romano looked at the card, suspiciously and pocketed it, then he looked at Langly, then
back at Jimmy, then back at Langly again. "Just keep on eye on Special Ed, here. Make sure
he doesn't break anything." Then he turned to Corday. "And YOU! This is NOT funny!"

Langly shook his head and pulled Jimmy around the corner, away from the fighting duo, who
seemed to have picked up where they left off. "Nice job!" He scolded. "You almost busted
us!"

"Why didn't anybody tell me he was the Chief of Staff?" Jimmy wanted to know.

Langly threw his arms up in the air, disgusted. Maybe they should have left him at the
Spoofset. "You 've been on the spoof set longer then HE has! You should have known."
He spat out.

"Then why didn't recognize me?" Jimmy asked, before he thought. "Oh wait. Right. Never
mind."

Langly shook his head. "I vote we throw him off the roof!" He suggested to the rest.

Byers and Frohike both glanced at each other, and shruged.

Jimmy eyed them all and then bolted back around the corner past Romano and Corday,
and down the stairs.

"Watch your step, you moron! If you break your neck we aren't paying for it!" Romano
yelled after him.

***************************************************************

Okay, that's it....the end of part one. If you wanna see more, give us some reviews. We
need to know if we've peeked your intrest any. Believe me, there is much more fun to be
had! We have chapter two ready when we get some reviews~!
Let us know what you think!