I'm Gonna Fly

Summary: Lily has led a not so pretty life and now she can only think of one way out and that way is to Fly.

Rating: R for mature themes and language.

Warning: This has suicide and cutting as a very prominent theme. If that offends you, I am warning you now. And unless your in a really freaked up situation that I don't even want to know about, some one is not holding a gun to your head forcing you to read my story. And if so I am flattered that the gunman is forcing you to read my story instead of another.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowlings does. And I don't own I'm Gonna Fly, Sydney Forest does. But if you feel like suing go ahead I will laugh my head off and see if there are any hotties in the court room. Ha I own Meg. Or Meg owns Meg…One of the two.


Chapter 14

And see for myself what it looks like from up there.

The footsteps echoed down the empty corridor, making just the two peoples footsteps sound like an army and the eminent silence making the noise seem so much louder than it should. The thoughts rattled around in Lily's brain were just as dark as the shadows cast by the flickering torches that crossed her path and made there way along her shoes. They seemed to pull at her, trying desperately to lure her off into their world, where they would whisper their secrets to her till she could no longer bear it.

She drew her eyes up away from her feet and stared blankly at the portraits that adorned the wall. She stared at each face and thought about the irony of it. The object of the picture would feel a great feeling of self-satisfaction about their pictures hanging on the wall. But did it really matter for none of those walking these halls knew who they were.

She focused on the back of Meg's head. Standing next to another human being made Lily realize how horrifying her appearance must be. Her hair was matted with mud from her early trek through the Forbidden Forest. Lily grimaced the snarls would probably never come out. A scratch on her check pulled as she frowned.

She reached up to touch it and the fabric rubbed against her still tender wrist. She had a promise to keep she was glad robes were part of the uniform. James would have noticed the fresh scars. She unbuttoned the cuff and rolled back the sleeve, fully expecting to see dried blood caked to her arm. Lily's eyes flew open at the barely visible white line that showed where the knife had left its marking. She must have made some sort of noise for Meg whirled around. "What?"

Lily swallowed, "Nothing. Just sort of started to trip, that's all."

Meg looked skeptical, switching her book to her other arm resting the bottom of it on his hip. "Whatever you say," she murmured. She brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear with the back of her hand. "You're kinda strange, you know that?" With that she pivoted and walked away.

"No, I didn't know," she muttered sardonically under her breath. "Thanks for enlightening me."

Meg turned, brown hair fanning out as she whirled. "What did you say?"

Lily feigned impudence. "I didn't say anything."

Meg's eyes narrowed for a second and Lily could see the thoughts behind them. "Whatever."

Lily resumed walking so Meg seemed to force herself to do the same. The steps echoed for another half a minute that had managed to stretch out to seem like an eternity. It was an empty silence; the kind that with everything in it screamed to be broken. And Meg answered its silent plea.

"I don't remember seeing you at the start of term feast, or class yesterday for that fact."

Lily didn't respond. She forced her eyes to stay resolutely focused on the long stone corridor that seemed to trail into darkness. The torches magically lit as they came within distance leaving three ahead and three behind lit at all times.

Meg tried again. "I mean, we're used to not seeing you around the dormitory, seeing as your always in the common room doing homework when we go to sleep and up studying at the break of day," she covered awkwardly.

She glanced over at the red-head to see that her thoughts were a million miles away, her eyes half-opened and unfocused. Meg gave up all hope of conversation and began to whistle a song of the wireless that she liked. The cheery little upbeat melody seemed so out of place with the dark, chilled air that surrounded them.

They turned a corner and proceeded up a flight of stairs, Meg still whistling her uplifting song to cover the awkwardness of the moment. Lily's eyes wandered as she used the handrail to keep herself moving forward as she stared at the portraits on the walls. The sleeping witches and wizards looked so content. They seemed to mock her she didn't even try not to look at them knowing the pointlessness of doing so now. They were all around she could not escape the contented memorials of the countless lives.

She switched her focus inwards and tried to clear her thoughts. She breathed deeply and concentrated on what it would be like to be a void. The little voices that she heard on an almost daily basis whispered and she concentrated on the idea of being deaf. Of living in darkness, never having seen or known light. She almost succeeded when she felt a hand on her arm.

She gasped and turned to meet Meg's expectant gaze. She looked over Meg shoulder and saw the fat lady portrait standing open obviously waiting for the girls to enter. "Are you coming or not?" Meg asked trying to be patient. The edge to her voice betrayed her.

Lily shook her head to clear it, dirty red locks brushing briefly against her checks. Standing next to Meg the light shining of her brown hair reminded Lily how long it had been since she had taken a shower. "Yeah. Right behind you."

Lily watched the fourteen-year-old hit her knees, she let her mind wonder one last time to the new scar on her wrist. She briefly wondered who had cleaned it but pushed the thought from her mind. She was safe as long as it wasn't James. In fact, even if it was it didn't matter. There was a difference between 'death' and 'dying'. She thought back to the criss-cross lines on James' wrist. Surely, of all people he knew that.

Hey I'm back again. Sorry it took so long. I apologize I promise that the updates will come along A LOT more frequently. I want to thank all those who reviewed though I don't think I will leave little comments to you all but I'll throw your name in here so you know I still love you.

iamaiceskater08, Rowan Arkenson, icemint, Neo-Queen Serenity, Neila Nuruodo the Chiss, gypsywitch, FEAngel258, Tears of a Fairy Queen, theantisocial1, Leeanna-Marie-Malfoy, craziebabymeg, starborn, Remy's Gurl, Alriadne, Vegea Kalorale, High?D