Her heartbeat was drumming loudly in her ears. Loudly, so loud that she could barely concentrate.
"What did you do?" She whispered. At first, he didn't answer. His hand was still out, the silver token beaming underneath the candlelight. Her eyes were wide as she searched Leon's face. The hope that had filled his eyes, the desperation, had faded.
"He's gone mad," Leon murmured. "My own brother has gone mad. You don't know what that is like." Her mouth parted as she shook her head.
"He's not mad, Leon. He's scared. That's what happens when he's scared. He turns into a desperate lunatic," Selene hissed. "You're just going to make this worse. Whatever you did, whatever you did for them to earn that-"
"What about you?" Leon said, dropping the coin onto the floor. He had let the coin slip through his fingers like liquid. Clearly, he had thought this conversation would end differently. "I heard that you've got your own coin too, Selene. You're not innocent." Her upper lip curled up.
"I didn't receive that coin from them! It was from someone else. I didn't do a damn thing for them, it was a present from someone far more worthy," she argued. "Whatever you did, you have to fix it. Or-or give it back!" She was trembling. She wasn't sure if it was out of anger or fear, but pure terror was running through her.
"They aren't bad people," Leon said slowly, emphasizing each word. "But you would know that, wouldn't you? Because they have been watching you. Even in the Hewn City, you knew they were watching you. They watched you as you skillfully climbed the throne and sat in it like a queen. And they ensured that you stayed there until you had no choice but to leave." She held his gaze tightly. How did he even know that? She couldn't say that he was lying. While she deserved that power, Jameson was still the one who made the Hewn City trust her. And he was, despite her greatest fears, one of them.
"What do you want me to do, Leon? Change him?" She said with a cold snort. "There's no point. I have no influence here." But as he walked to the door, leaving her, he shook his head.
"Spies from all lands walk in and out of the Hewn City every day, Selene. They disguise themselves as peasants and visitors of all kinds. They saw you," Leon said. "And now they're listening."
~*~ discadium ~*~
Leon wasn't the only one being watched. So was Selene.
"Get up, would you? It's eleven." When she opened her eyes, the sun was shining brightly. But her eyes landed on the three figures in front of her, rather than the sun's blinding rays. It was Tobias, but there were also two additional men, staring at her blankly.
"And who are these?" She asked sourly. Tobias's hands clamped behind his back.
"Meet Tomas and Peyton," Tobias said, showing her a thin smile. "You didn't show up last night." She would've laughed if he hadn't said it so seriously.
"Show up? In your bed?" He didn't even twitch. She, on the other hand, probably looked like she was going to puke.
"I was given you some time to be by yourself, but my words were clear," he said coolly. "You will be at my side when I'm available. At all times." She looked at him, and then to the two males. Her fingers were clenching the covers. Suddenly, she felt naked. She was wearing clothes, but they didn't hide much. Tobias didn't seem to care.
"And what? Are Tomas and Peyton supposed to be joining our bed, too?" Tobias straightened. While the two other men shifted uncomfortably, his nose flared.
"No," Tobias said. "But I felt like this would be a convenient time to introduce you. They'll… be around more." Her eyes narrowed.
"Be around?" She repeated, her pale eyebrows raising. This time, Tobias showed a smile.
"Come on, my love, let's go eat some breakfast, together." He held out his hand, almost like a peace offering. At first, her eyes lingered on it. Despite her bravery, when she met eyes with Tomas and Peyton, terror ran through her. There was something different about these men. They were hardly sentries.
They weren't looking at her like she was a Lady, but as if she was the enemy. Almost as if they were an unspoken threat to her. She may be a High Lord's wife, but she knew that she bent her knee to the throne, just like everybody else.
She took Tobias's hand. It was cold as ice.
`*` discidium ~*~
"Are you going to eat anything?" She had barely touched her breakfast. It wasn't that it wasn't desirable – she was too busy staring at Tobias. Watching his every move, catching his every glance.
"I'm not hungry," she said lowly. "I…Actually, since I've gotten here, the food hasn't been pleasant." Pleasant was an understatement. The food was so over flavored, and so thick with ingredients, that the servings made her nauseous.
"Pleasant?" He repeated. In the corner of her eye, she saw one of the servants stiffen.
"Surely, you should eat anyways. You're carrying my daughter," Tobias said. She held his gaze.
"It makes me nauseous," she said again. "What else am I supposed to say?" But the stoney look on his face told her otherwise. She knew, to survive this, she would have to stay low. So, to please him, she took a small bite into her porridge.
"Anyways," he said. "I have a proposition for you."
"Yes?"
"Since you're so keen in politics, I feel like it's time that you step up in the Night Court," Tobias said.
"Keen to politics?" She repeated in a small voice. He had said it like it was an insult.
"You impressed me, I'll be honest," He said. "It's obvious that you got something out of the Court of Nightmares. You have dangerously powerful leadership skills. I'd be a fool to not be envious of them."
"Thanks for noticing," she said coolly, but he ignored her.
"I need you to start making friends with these people," he said, his voice louder. "Not of slithering whores and disabled wash-outs. Not of the petty, dirty peasants that you so dearly empathize for. I need you to win the elites over. Our people."
This time, she leaned back in her chair, her eyes falling around the room. He was almost speaking to her as if she was an equal.
"I'm not going to your meetings just to listen about Clythia throwing baby fits," she said. Her eyes fell to her lap. "She's last person I want to hear about it." She wasn't envious of Clythia. Instead, she was exhausted She was exhausted of hearing about her, exhausted of hearing about her needs and desires and the sins that Tobias would commit for her. She didn't want to hear more of their affair, or Tobias's guilt. Not because she was angry, but because she simply couldn't find the energy to care.
"Fine," he said.
"Fine?"
"I'm willing to negotiate," he said, shrugging. "Maybe ignoring Clythia will get her to tone down." She scoffed.
"What else, Selene? What else do you think I should do?" He asked. At first, she was quiet.
"I'm not your advisor," she answered finally. "Stop asking for my damn advice." He pursed his lips.
"I want you to be," he said honestly. "I'd – I'd be a fool to think that you couldn't do better than anyone else in this kingdom." She glanced around for the servants, wondering if this whole proposition was a joke. She was waiting for the snorts and snickers to erupt. But nobody else was in the room. For whatever reason, they had disappeared as soon as the proposition was made.
He must have been absolutely serious.
"This is too much," she said, before getting up and leaving the dining hall without another word.
~*~ discidium ~*~
Tobias hadn't been lying when he said that Peyton and Tomas would be her new escorts if she chose not to be around him. After she had stormed out of the dining room, they followed her everywhere. From her bedroom to the blithering cold terrain outside, they stayed only two feet away from her at all times. It was far worse than having a babysitter – it was like being a prisoner.
"You know, you guys spend your entire life training to serve this closely to the High Lord," she said, "years and years of training, to serve in his castle. Am I correct?" Their bland facial features did not change but Tomas, the more responsive one, nodded.
"Yes. We start training as soon as we can walk," he responded. She nodded.
"And yet, here you are," she said, snickering, "following a female Illyrian around a castle. Don't you think you'd be doing more prestigious acts for the High Lord?" They had made it outside again. While she was used to the cold, Tomas and Peyton flinched uncomfortably. They were wearing three times the amount of layers as her, and yet she could still handle the cold better than they could.
"Wouldn't you rather be doing more entertaining things? As an impoverished Illyrian who, due to the divine, was lucky enough to be mated with the High Lord?" Tomas countered, his nose flaring as he eyed the droplets of ice falling from the sky. "This is far too cold for a lady." Her face shifted for a moment, insulted. But then she saw something interesting peaking through the snow – a weed. A very special weed.
She reached down, her fingers grasping it.
"My Lady, don't touch-" she crunched in her hand, letting the juice of the weed squeeze out. She rubbed it between her fingers.
"This weed smells lovely," she said delightfully. "Wouldn't you love to smell the juice?" Before they could object, she shoved her hands in their faces, forcing her hands to their noses. They both flinched back, but it was too late. The scent of the weed caused their eyes to roll back sleepily, making them fall down with a clunk. As soon as their body's hit the ground, she spat at them.
"Imbeciles," she muttered as she reached down into the snow and washed off the weed juice. For the first time, she felt like she could breathe.
"What a beauty," a voice said. She swerved around fast, her blue eyes wide as an owl. But when she saw the figure, her knees grew weak.
"Oh my cauldron," she whispered. "Jameson-" He caught her before she could fall. It had to be a trick – it couldn't possibly be him. Though Tobias had reduced the sentries for privacy reasons, the magical protection around his estate had strengthened significantly. Even she wasn't foolish enough to try to get through those walls.
"How did you-"
"We don't have much time," he said, but his eyes were running down her fast. "How are you? Are you safe?" She could barely catch her breath.
"I-Yes, I am safe," she said, her voice cracking. "How's the Hewn City?" He gave her a sad smile.
"We're making it," he said. "It's hard, but…you trained enough of them to be healers and your packages of remedies are being rationed. We'll be fine." Hot tears were flooding down her cheeks. Just the sight of him, the smell of him, was breaking her.
"Did you come to take me back?" She asked. Her voice sounded like a child's, desperate almost.
"I thought about it," he said quietly. "But it's nearly impossible. I would never want to put our people in that sort of danger. You must understand that." And she could tell, as he looked at her, that he was right. Tobias had forbidden her from going back, and Tobias wouldn't hesitate to retaliate if she disobeyed him.
"You need something," she realized. "You wouldn't have risked coming over here so suddenly if you hadn't. What's wrong?" He swallowed.
"The revolutionaries…" he said slowly, "they're having a meeting." Her eyes widened.
"It would be wise not to speak to me about this. Secrets are hard to keep in this castle," she warned, but he ignored her.
"They're making plans," he continued. "They want to-"
"They want to what? An ambush? An attack?!"
"Lower your voice!"
"What do they want with me, then?" She demanded, her voice quiet but as sharp as a knife. For a second, she almost sounded like the rule of the Court of Nightmares.
"It's not like that," he said. "It's about peace. And I think you have an obligation, as someone who advocated for the Court of Nightmares, to show up. If not, this may end up in not just Tobias dying, but many other people, too." She took a step back.
"That's too much, Jameson," she said coolly. "That's-this has got to end! This is why Tobias is refusing to help you guys. He thinks you're challenging him-"
"If it wasn't for the revolutionaries, I wouldn't have been able to get into this castle," Jameson argued. Blood rushed to her face. They're listening. They're here. "I don't want them to die, Selene. That's why I'm going to you."
"And what am I supposed to do about it? Don't you think I'm dealing with enough?!"
"I need you to talk to them," Jameson said. He took another step towards her. "Please, they truly mean well. If you go, if you go and talk to them, we can find a way-"
"I can't believe you only came to see me for a damn meeting," she hissed. "After everything-"
"I don't have much time!" He emphasized again. This time, his sharp voice made her stop. "Look, I have one shot to see you, alright? And I wasn't going to come over here without a reason. These people need you. They need guidance, and they need to hear another side. You've seen them! They're good people, and I think, with your help, we can find a way to make this kingdom better." He reached for her, his fingers grasping her face lightly. A ripple of warmth swam through her and she found herself leaning towards him. She had forgotten how it felt to be touched by someone she loved.
"I wish I could get you out of here, and I can't," Jameson said quietly. "But I want you to remember that you still have your freedom. You can still lead people into freedom. You can't possibly be happy here, Selene. You see the misery that this castle causes the rest of the kingdom, and it is slowly killing you." She could feel his breath on her now.
"This is how you can help stop that," Jameson finished. He pulled a note from his pocket and put it in her palm. "I'm counting on you. Go to the meeting. Make this world better." He stepped away from her, and just as quickly, opened his wings and flew towards the skies.
She couldn't help but sob. For a moment, she stood there, staring upward.
"I can't…" And then she dropped to her knees. It was so much – too much. There were a thousand emotions she had spent the past few days trying to suppress, and now they were all flooding out.
"Was that…was that Jameson?!" She looked up jerkily, with an exhale. Leon had crept from the shadows.
"Leon, were you following me?!" She screeched back. He was staring at the skies wildly, shaking his head.
"I saw something between the two of you when you picked you up at the Court of Nightmares, but I never expected that," Leon said, his eyes wide. He almost sounded like he was speaking to himself. "He would be chopped up and killed if Tobias knew that you…" But he didn't even finish it. He knew the following words wouldn't just mean Jameson's death, but also her own. It was so terrifying that talking about it, even whispering it, was too risky.
"How much did you hear then?" She asked coolly. He swallowed.
"Enough," he said. "I see that you were…invited to one of the inner circle meetings. Even I haven't been invited to one. You must have impressed them." She looked down at the piece of paper in her palm.
"It was an invitation, that's all," she said defensively. "I told you once, and I'll tell you again, I'm not one of you guys. I don't cower under a mask, hoping that this place will change." Leon sighed.
"I'm not one of them either, Selene. But I'm starting to think they might be coming onto something correct," he said. His eyes landed on the two bodyguards beside her. Tomas began to stir. "I guess this is my time to leave you, my friend. Don't give Tomas and Peyton too hard of a time, next time."
~*~ discidium ~*~
Her first test was, supposedly, a party. She had agreed to get fixed up in Tobias's room, just to please his demands.
"Who will be there?" She asked dully, as she began to braid her hair into a tight bun. She had forgotten how spacious his bedroom was. For her own privacy, he put up a curtain between the two of them, but the room was far big enough to keep their distance.
"Regular elites," he said, with a sigh. "Nobody special. Nobody that I'm dying to impress. Nobody that holds significant power, or significant loyalty. Nobody radical. Just regular citizens under the Night Court."
"Oh," she said. "Then why are we having it?" He moved the curtain jerkily. Though she wasn't fully ready, his eyes seemed to widen when he looked at her.
"That's the question, isn't it?" He mused to himself. "I do care about my people, even if these aren't the same elites that bring in our major income. They deserve to feel important too." She held his gaze for a moment, pondering on that. It almost sounded like it was a new realization to him.
"Are you ready?" He asked, and she nodded. Obediently, she took his hand and let him lead her from his room to the ballroom. As he walked, she could feel his hand fold over hers warmly. It was comforting, almost making her feel normal. Despite his cruelty, it was a reminder that he was still alive. He still had a beating heart.
Even before she stepped into the ballroom, she heard the muse of laughter and voices. She was surprised to see, as she walked in, that there was a diversity of individuals. There were full families, including babies and teenagers, which was unusual to see at a royal ball. Like Tobias had said, they were normal fae. None of them were wearing expensive outfits, none of them were flaunting amazing jewelry. They were middle class, if she were to classify them as anything.
"Lady," the nearest male said. He bowed to her. Despite being fae, he reminded her of a human – with lines of tiredness etched across his face and his poor posture caused by years of hard work. He didn't have much money, but he was invited anyways.
"Please, call me Selene," she said, a small smile on her lips. "We're equals, tonight." In the corner of her eyes, she could feel Tobias's stare, but he didn't correct her. Instead, he watched her carefully as she continued through the crowd. As she walked, the Lady of Night seemed to wash away from her. She could feel the power she felt at the Court of Nightmares rise up once again.
Most of the individuals who she met were humble and excited to be in her presence, but as she grew deeper into the crowd, conversations began to change.
"It's an honor to meet you," one woman said, emotionlessly. Selene eyed the baby attached at her hip. Soon, that would be her. "But I must be honest, I came here to speak explicitly to you."
"And what would that be?" Selene said, in the same tone. The woman bit her bottom lip.
"General Clythia, a while ago, destroyed my husband's plantation out of humor," she murmured. "You reincompensated the village, but-"
"When was this?" Selene asked. The woman blinked.
"Why, it was only a few months ago," she said, a coolness in her voice. "Did this knowledge escape you? Is the middle class not important enough to bring up in your royal meetings?" Selene shook her head.
"My apologies," Selene said, honestly. "I, personally, was traveling elsewhere. My husband – your high lord, hadn't told me this information." Though Tobias was speaking to someone else, he was only a few feet away. He didn't break his conversation but he stiffened.
"Yes, well, my livelihood is destroyed," the woman said coolly. "And money isn't what's needed." Selene nodded slowly, eyeing her. The lady, she realized, was bone-thin. Her skin was tight, clearly dehydrated. It wasn't money that the woman needed.
"I will see to it that seeds are sent to you tomorrow for you to replant, along with extra crops that you can sell for profit," Selene said, and she meant it. "My heart is with you." The woman, though still cold, looked shocked.
"Thank you," she whispered, and faded away into the crowd before Selene could say anything more. She sighed to herself. This is what Tobias meant – he needed to rebuild these relationships, and he didn't know how. What else had happened since then?
Though she was so supposed to remain at Tobias's side, she floated away quietly. When he was done, he would go find her, but as for now, she needed to have a break from him. Leon, to her distaste, wasn't in sight, so she went straight to the refreshments table.
"Thank the cauldron," she muttered as she grasped a cup and filled it with bunch. When it hit her lips, she hadn't noticed how dehydrated she was.
"Are you the High Lord's wife?" A voice said behind her. She spun around rapidly, the sharp voice making her skin crawl. But when she saw who was in front of her, she blinked. It was a normal fae, eyeing her curiously.
"I am," she said, in the same voice. "And you are?" Like the rest of the crowd, he didn't stick out. He was wearing average clothes, but he was younger than most of the fae around. He couldn't have been a day older than her.
"Nobody important," he replied. "I just wanted to thank you." Her composure broke. She had expected him to have a complaint.
"Oh," she said lightly. "Can I-Can I ask why?" He looked at the ground, his cheeks blushing.
"The High Lord has been very busy, so I haven't been able to go up to him personally," the man said. "But he saved my wife's life." She blinked. While she didn't want to say it, the man was average. Why would Tobias care about his wife's life?
"He heard that she was having health issues after I had written to him, and he sent us some remedies," he said quietly. "Those remedies must have been from farther lands, because nobody in my area had ever seen them before. I don't know why he decided to do it, but I owe him my life." She eyed him curiously.
"When was this?" She asked.
"Why, it was only a few months ago," the man said, his eyes falling to the ground. "I'm just a normal man. I make a livable life for my family, but I have nothing to give to our High Lord in return. I hope my gratitude is enough."
"It is," she said, her voice quiet. "Your gratitude will always be enough for this kingdom." And she wasn't lying. Loyalty, and thankfulness, was much more important than money and gifts.
The man sniffled, bowing his head and walking away quickly. She exhaled.
"Are you shocked?" A voice asked. She turned to beside her. Tobias was only a few inches away, his fingers nearly touching hers. She eyed him, head to toe.
"Since when did you start giving out free remedies?" She asked, her voice almost accusatory. He shrugged.
"It's not exactly my forte, is it?" He responded. But when her eyes failed to look away, he sighed. "I guess, knowing what you were doing in the Hewn City, you inspired me." She pursed her lips.
"I gave remedies to anyone who asked for it," he continued. "I'm not a god. I don't get to decide who lives and who dies." She chewed on the inside of her lip. If someone hadn't gone up to her and told her what he was doing, she wouldn't have believed it.
"That was very…" she said, struggling to find the word, "very fair of you." It wasn't much that he had done. If anything, it was simply sending out basic necessities for survival. But the Night Court was a cut-throat court. Most people only cared about themselves.
"Come on," Tobias whispered. "I need to show you something." At first, she hesitated. She didn't want to leave the ball, but she watched as his eyes gazed outside.
"Okay," she replied. She followed him out of the ballroom, and outside into the blithering snow. While it was freezing, and she wrapped herself up nicely, the cold didn't bother her, nor did it bother him. They walked out into the night, quiet as they slushed against the snow. Within time, the castle was simply a distant glitter of lights, and they had gone deep into the forest. The trees were several stories tall, and she could barely see Tobias's body.
"Come on," he said, eyeing the bushes in front of them. They were nearly ten feet tall. "They're right over there." Reluctantly, she climbed through the bushes with him, and when she finally made it out to the other side, she gasped.
It was almost like a building – but it was made out of pure glass and almost as big as half of the castle. It was filled with an endless garden, with magical heat clearly shining throughout the transparent building. She couldn't believe a garden this big could be hiding in the middle of a forest, far away from the castle. Inside, she saw, there were countless rows of different plants. It was so large, that she couldn't even see the last rows. As she walked in, she eyed the different leaves and flowers and herbs. She marveled in awe. She had never seen so many plants in one place. There were plants of all kinds, even some she had never seen before. They were perfectly bloomed.
"What is this?" She was mesmerized. More so, she was broken. Broken because she had glued herself together, and had finally found a way to get all of the fragile, damaged parts of her to function and yet now…what she saw made every piece of her collapse. All of the reminders of her heritage, of her life. Of who she wanted to be, but couldn't. In the end, the glue didn't matter. The glue couldn't hold all of her desires. This, this burden of who she was, was too strong. And Tobias, off all people, saw that.
"I hate parties," Tobias muttered. "Really, I hate them. I think they're awful." It didn't answer the question. She blinked at him, unsure of how to reply, but then he sighed.
"It's a greenhouse. I had botanists ages ago, but those occupations faded away and when it faded away, so did the greenhouse. But I recently I decided to rebuild it," Tobias said with a shrug. "Anyways, it's yours. Plant whatever you want. I'll send whatever you plant to the corners of the Earth if you so dearly want it - even to the Hewn City." Her mouth parted.
"Tobias-"
"I've hired some assistants too. There's a woman coming here from the Spring Court who'll help you plant the plants that normally wouldn't survive in the Night Court and also a botanist engineer from one of the villages in the lower end of the Night Court who will help you create stronger mixtures," Tobias went on. "If you want them, of course - if you don't want them, I can fire them. But I thought, saying as the greenhouse is-"
"Acres. Acres long," Selene whispered. "It's huge. I didn't think a greenhouse could be this big." Tobias nodded.
"It was meant to be a birthday present, but then you left to the Hewn City and…" He choked for a moment, pausing. "I started to plant some basic plants while you were gone - rosemary, mint, basil, roses, sunflowers. Just to get you started. Of course, you can plant whatever you want. Even if it's illegal, I don't care. You can plant it. It's all yours." It was all hers. Her own. Her own greenhouse. Something she had never thought she could have - not when she was spending countless hours in the blistering cold mountains trying to find remedies that would stop her cycle, and certainly not when she was curing the ill in the Hewn City. It could cure hundreds of people, maybe thousands. She could send detailed instructions on how to use the cures and how to administer the mixtures so that the Hewn City could do it themselves.
"You really have been planting these for six months? Not a servant…you?" Her voice was a whisper in the cold wind.
Tobias's eyes were on the ground, lingering to a small rose. Instead of the gorgeous red color that a rose normally had, it was pure black, with shining speckles on the tips of its petals. It was definitely magic, only magic that could've come from a High Lord.
"I hate parties too," Selene said finally. "Do you…do you want to look at the flowers with me?" He looked up at her, his eyes filled. Genuine surprise had flickered across his face.
"Yes," he said. "I would love to."
~*~ discidium ~*~
"The roses were gorgeous," Selene breathed, as she walked with Tobias up the twirling stairs. Tobias had plucked one for her on the way out of the greenhouse, so that she could keep it on her nightstand. They had spent hours outside, talking about the various plants and their lives and what had changed. "Tell me, how long did they take to-"
"Only a few weeks," Tobias said, his voice soft. "Because of the magic, they grew fast. I thought – they're my favorite because they remind me of the night sky." And she saw it. As she shifted the rose in her hand, sparkles shined brightly. The sparkles were an effect of the magic. They looked like stars.
"They're beautiful," she said, opening her bedroom door. "Wait – let me show you something that I planted in the Hewn City. I let it dry up so that I could keep it on me at all times." She went to her bed, opening the drawer next to her. Tobias followed her quietly, watching her carefully as she took out a small plant. She heard him close the door behind him.
"A clover," she said, a small smile on her lips. "Created with no sun. I know we have them all over the Night Court, but in the Hewn City? With no light source? It's a miracle." She put it in his palm carefully, as his dark eyes danced over it.
"This…this kept me alive," he whispered, looking back at her as his eyes widened. "This garden kept me alive." Her mouth dried up instantly. He was a man filled with cold choices, filled with greed, yet –
"I do still love you," she said aloud. The words, despite them being honest, sounded foreign to her when she whispered them. "This you." His eyes brightened. He was so cold, so unnerving, but also so passionate.
"I love every bit of you," he countered. His lips touched hers and she felt a burning sensation run through her body. As their lips quickened, he quickly undid her dress, letting it fall below them.
"Tobias," she said, almost as a protest, but his fingers ran up between her legs, causing her to lean towards him. "We shouldn't. It's-"
"It's what?" His fingers were under her underwear now, feeling the slickness. She swallowed. There was no reason lying, now. But still, he didn't go further. His fingers rubbed against her spot, making her exhale, but he waited.
"It's…" But she was undressing him too, feeling his hardness as he began to touch her again. A part of her liked it, but also a part of her felt…guilty. Like she was a traitor for enjoying him.
"Tobias, let's talk about-" He was at her entrance, rubbing against her. Waiting for her permission. But every second that they touched without her speaking, she felt hotter and hotter. Like she was slowly burning away. So, she tugged him towards the bed, going on top of him. Letting him in.
"Fuck, Sel-" But then the door banged open. She got off him jerkily, her eyes wide as she looked at the figure. She could hear Tobias cursing loudly, telling the figure to get out. But it was Leon, staring wildly at her. He looked like he had seen a ghost – a terror that she would struggle to forget. Tobias's voice became a distant sound.
"They're dead," he said. Though his words were more important to Tobias, he was only speaking to her. "The whole party – they're dead."
~*~ discidium ~*~
So much blood. So many bodies. Though she was not allowed to enter the hall, she could hear Tobias's ravenous screams from the staircase. There were no survivors, Leon had told them. Most of the partiers weren't anyone dire – not anyone that couldn't be replaced by their heirs or different elites. But they were neutral.
"This is terrible," she told Leon. She had been forbidden to speak to him, but Tobias was so overwhelmed that he had left them together on the staircase. There wasn't a drip of blood on Leon, but she could see in his eyes that he had seen the bodies.
"Where were you when it happened?" She whispered. He was shaking his head. He couldn't even meet her eyes.
"Taking a piss," he hissed. "And the craziest part is that nobody had warned me. It was pure fucking luck. I could've easily been one of them." She was quiet for a moment.
"Who do you think it was who blew the place up?" She asked. Leon gave out a mirthless snort.
"Brutes," Leon replied bitterly. "Most of the individuals in the ballroom were neutrals. None of them were radical. If anything, they were ignorant of the internal war that has been going on in this kingdom. It isn't as well-known as you'd think." Her eyes were wide.
"Who did it? Specifically?" she said, her voice barely audible. A part of her would rather not know. Leon held her gaze, his hand inching towards her. His fingers were nearly touching hers when someone interrupted.
"We did." She turned away. Tobias was hovering over her, his voice emotionless. Her lips trembled.
"What?" She asked. His eyes had leveled with Leon. Leon, though protesting underneath his breath, got up and stormed away quietly. Tobias didn't speak until they heard a door slam.
"We have radicals on our side too," he said. "This is why I need you. There are radicals on both sides. These people who died – they hadn't even picked a side yet. They were just living simple lives. They were loyal to me, but my radicals thought they were weak links who would've been easily tricked to the other side. They thought they were better off dead. Of course, I would've never condoned such extreme ideals."
"Did you know this was going to happen?" She asked. Something told her to stop asking, to stop questioning, but she couldn't do so.
"No," he said. "I promise you, Selene, I didn't." She shook her head.
"Then how did they get in? I thought we agreed that your radical followers were not allowed?" She asked. He growled underneath his breath.
"Must've been a spy," he said. "I don't know – someone who was pretending to be neutral." She got up. She hadn't turned away from his fully, not yet. Instead, she held his gaze.
"And what are you going to do now?" She asked. "These loyal followers of yours who murdered almost a hundred people…what are you going to do?" His mouth opened, but then shut quickly. She could tell, as his eyes fell away, what that meant.
"It was just one follower," he corrected sharply. It almost sounded like he was defending them. "Not a group. Not all of my radical followers. One person, who took things way too far."
"You're not going to punish them?" She snarled. He took a step towards her.
"Of course there are going to be punishments," he said through his teeth. "But this was one person's doing. And he's dead, just with the rest of his victims." She shook her head, her mouth ajar in horror.
"This was premeditated by a group, Tobias. This couldn't have just been one person. Yes, maybe – maybe there was only one martyr. But there has got to be more who was in on this bloodbath." But her words were nothing in the air, she realized. He had already decided what happened.
"If I do anything, anything, this could turn into a war," he replied to her. "What happened was unfortunate, but this happens, Selene. This is what royalty means. We see shit, horrible shit, but we have to keep going. We have to see the greater picture." Tears swelled up in her eyes.
"Children were in there," she said. "You must hold them accountable!" His lips pursed.
"No, we need to keep this quiet," he told her. "Do not speak of this to anyone. The servants have already pleaded their loyalty. Now, I expect you to do so as well."
~*~ discidium ~*~
When she closed the door to her bedroom, and Tobias had agreed to part to his own bed for the night, she found Leon waiting on her bed, once again.
"He told you he wasn't going to do anything, didn't he?" He asked. His eyes were filled with fury. Her eyes, on the other hand, looked at him up and down.
"He'll kill you if he finds you in here, you know," Selene replied dryly. He stood up from her bed jerkily.
"Answer me, Selene," Leon demanded. His voice cracked. "What is he going to do?"
"He told me his hands are tied," Selene said, louder. "Can you stop looking at me like I'm supposed to do something about this?" But he didn't even blink. Instead, he took a step towards her.
"You're the only one who can get to that beast," he said. She snorted. "This was unjust. I don't care who did it and why – they need to be held accountable!" She walked away from him, taking off the robe that she had wrapped around herself.
"I can't do that," she said, this time slower. "I'm not the High Lord. Tobias will always do what he pleases."
"Stop doing that!" He yelled. Her eyes widened. "Stop-stop being so damn sad!" She opened her mouth to protest, but he continued without a beat.
"You ran the Court of Nightmares. You were treated like a queen. And now what? One guy tells you to shut your mouth and now you think none of this matters? That this is just the circle of life? That all those people slaughtered, all of whom that he was supposed to protect, doesn't mean anything, because defending the dead is inconvenient for him?!" Leon went on. Her cheeks burned. "Where did that strong woman go?" It hurt. His words burned.
"I did try talking to him," she said. "I can't force his hand. I'm only one person. I'm-" But then her eyes landed on the floor. Leon's coin, which he had tried giving her, was still there. Leon's eyes followed hers and for a moment, silence filled the room.
"Maybe-maybe the revolutionaries will wake him up," Leon said. She looked up at him. He was dead serious, she realized. These revolutionaries were suddenly seeming like the only option to stop him. She certainly couldn't stop him herself, as seen by their previous conversation. But maybe if they could find a way to halt him, to bring a different power into the situation that he would be forced to listen to, he'd learn how to yield.
"They are a possible solution to weakening his power, but they're always two steps behind him," she said aloud. "Unless-" But what she was about to say was treason.
"Unless what?" Leon asked. She closed her eyes for a moment, sighing.
"Maybe if we just go to the meeting, without giving them any promises-"
"The Lady of Night?" Leon breathed. "Go to the meeting? That's bold." She let out a shaky breath.
"Someone has got to stop him. He'll lose his entire reign if he doesn't wake up from this nightmare," she said. "A long time ago, someone warned me of his reign. She said that he would self-destruct due to the evil people around him, but if we find a way to force him to calm down, maybe we can save him. The revolutionaries might just be able to give us the power to do that. We won't give them any big information – we'll just show up to the meeting. We won't become members, but maybe if we speak to them and tell them the issue, we can find a solution together."
"It's time we stood up to him," Leon said. "To fully offer our assistance to the revolutionaries. We won't hide ourselves. It's time we do the right thing." At first, she thought she was going to puke, but then she nodded.
"We will go tomorrow," she agreed.
~*~ discardium ~*~
It was midnight and she had convinced Tobias to let her have stroll around the premises. Of course, Peyton and Tomas were instructed to guide her, but she hadn't gotten rid of them almost as soon as she escaped Tobias's sight.
"Where are the guards?" Leon said quietly. They had agreed to meet outside, in the cold, just in case a servant overheard their conversation.
"Passed out in a closet somewhere," she muttered. "Tobias is fast asleep. I told him that I would probably be out for a few hours, and not to wait for me. But we don't have much time, Leon." She wrapped a thick cloak around her. Though the cloak hid her body well, her blonde hair was still striking against the crimson red velvet. She could see Leon's eyes scroll over her slowly as she finished tying it.
She met his eyes. There was a thin smile on his face.
"I have a good feeling about this," he said in a small voice. His fingers squeezed hers. Though he was earnest, she couldn't smile back. Instead, her heart was drumming loudly.
"If we get caught…" she said, shaking her head. Leon swallowed.
"We won't," Leon promised. Before she could say another word, Jameson winnowed behind them. Leon hastily let go of her fingers, facing him.
"Are you two ready?" Jameson asked. Leon's smile grew, but Jameson hadn't even looked at him. Instead, Jameson was eyeing her nervously as well. But Selene nodded.
"I'm r-"
"NO!" They all three swerved around jerkily, both Jameson and Leon stepping in front of her and whipping out their daggers. Selene exhaled as the figure approached them.
"Rosalie?" Selene asked. Rosalie was wearing her own cloak as well – shining gold. Her red hair spilled over her cloak. Even though Rosalie's hood tipped over her face, Selene knew those naturally plump lips.
"I know where you're going," she said, only to Selene, "We won't win this way." Selene looked towards Leon first. His eyes were cold as ice, and his lips shaped in a snarl. Jameson's face was blank, analyzing her quickly.
"How would you know? You're just a dumb whore." Selene swerved towards Leon. She had never heard him speak that way to her – not ever. Leon certainly had his moments, but for the most part, he was polite towards her. But now, Leon looked determined. He glanced at the mistress like she was garbage, and Rosalie didn't look the least bit surprised.
"Trust me, Selene," Rosalie said, shaking her head, "Don't go with them. Don't get into this war. They can't save us. If they could, this war would've ended long ago." Selene turned to Jameson. Even he looked apprehensive.
"We can't just watch this happen," Selene said slowly, her voice cracking. Rosalie was about to take a step towards her, but then Leon pointed his dagger upward, as if he was planning on swinging it at her. Rosalie rose her chin.
"Leon," Selene said in a whisper. "What are you doing?" But Leon's eyes looked wild.
"Don't take advice from this stupid whore," he muttered. "She's never done a damn thing right in her life." But Selene hesitated. She had her moments with Rosalie, but Rosalie looked desperate.
"Selene, you will not win this," Rosalie said sharply. "This is a trap." Jameson sneered.
"Are you calling me a liar?" Jameson asked. Rosalie swallowed.
"These aren't the people you want to get mixed up with," Rosalie said. "You have to trust me on this." But then Rosalie met Leon's eyes and she shrunk back instantly. Selene couldn't help but stiffen too. Leon looked furious, as if he could kill her right there.
"Who do you trust more, Selene?" Leon asked her. "Me or this whore?" Rosalie had tears forming in her eyes. Selene turned away coolly.
"Let's go," she said to the boys. Jameson hooked onto her and soon she was surrounded by blackness.
~*~ discidium ~*~
She could've puked when she opened her eyes. They went from the blistering cold to a theater. Except, there were no seats. Instead, she was surrounded by a large group of people. At a distance, she could see a podium, but there were probably fifty people in front of her. They were all talking loudly, everything between laughter and cussing.
She glanced at Leon, her eyes wide. Her fingers were shaking.
"What if this is a mistake," she whispered. He gave her a small smile.
"I'm glad you're here," he said softly. "You see that man? His name is Oliver. He's the leader." He pointed to a man next to the podium. Her mouth was as dry as sand. Oliver was staring back at her, but his eyes were far from warm. For a moment, she thought he was going to approach her, but instead he stepped onto the podium.
"Welcome," the man said. She jolted back. She knew that voice – she had heard that voice. He saved her when she went on the trip to the theater. He had saved her life.
"We have a lot of new people here today," he said, and she realized he hadn't looked away from her yet. Leon's hand wrapped around her body, almost comfortingly. "I'm glad to see that our message has reached this far." There were cheers from around them.
"As for anyone who doesn't know me, my name is Oliver," he said. "And I feel blessed to be in your presence. As many of you know, we call ourselves revolutionaries, but we are simply servants for a better world." Again, there were cheers erupting around them. Hastily, Selene pulled away from Leon. She didn't trust this man.
"In the coming months, with your help, we will build a new world. This world will be without war-" The crowd cheered. "Without starvation, and without greed. We will take over this land and make it fair and just. There will be no more cruelty, no more hatred. Our children will be educated, our people will be rewarded. And with your cooperation and your allegiance, we will band together and revolutionize the Night Court for once and for all." Selene's eyes narrowed on the man.
"And tonight, we will create the plan that changes everything," Oliver promised, his voice firm. "Who's with me?" This time, the cheers were so loud that theater itself began to rattle. But the moment Oliver rose his hands, the sound ceased.
"And how do you expect to do that?!" The words came out of her mouth without her thinking. And within a moment, every eye in the room was nailed on her. Oliver straightened as he looked down at her suspiciously.
"And would you like to share your name?" Oliver asked. For whatever reason, she knew that Oliver already deducted who she was. She could see it in his eyes that he knew he was speaking to royalty, not to a regular peasant. Still, Selene hesitated. The more she looked around, the more people she saw. What if they harmed her? What if she didn't make it out of here alive? What if she was the revenge they were craving? But then she pulled down her hood. Around her, gasps erupted. Some even cursed at her. But she didn't pull away from Oliver's gaze.
"Selene," she said loudly, "Selene, the Lady of Night. And I'm here to speak with you – with all of you. I'm here to find…peace." Oliver nodded, despite the protests around him. He held up his hands, silencing them again.
"Then you're in the right place," Oliver said fairly. "But mind you, Lady Selene, we don't work with non-members." Her face drained.
"I'm not here to join your cause. I'm here to help you with your agenda," Selene said. She heard someone spit near her, just barely missing her feet. She inhaled raggedly.
"How do we know that you want tell your dear husband?" Someone around her asked, and the ones around him agreed. She barred her teeth at him.
"Because I ran the Hewn City. I've been in the wrath of the High Lord of Night. There are many things you don't know. Enemies that are preventing him from doing the right thing," Selene said, to all of them. She felt the eyes nail on her like daggers, but she continued.
"I promise you all, if we don't do something soon, we will be at war within the end of the season. We need to work together. We to devise the plan to deescalate this because – because the High Lord can't fix this. We, as citizens, need to fix this." At first everybody was quiet. But then anger erupted across their faces.
"Then lets dethrone him!" One person said, and the rest of the crowd screamed, adding to the treason. She was about to scream at them, or even run to warn Tobias, but then Oliver held up his hands.
"Stop! Let the Lady of Night finish!" He roared. Though still excited, the voice died out.
"Dethroning him won't do anything," she said, honestly. "I'm not saying that because I'm his wife – I'm saying it because it's true. Dark forces have already started to haunt this court, and we need to band together." Maybe, she thought, if the revolutionaries spoke to Tobias, he would find a way to band together.
"We can fight starvation, we can fight injustice," she said to them. "But dethroning our High Lord will only increase that instability and allow these dark forces to follow take over." There were murmurs around her. Oliver's eyes narrowed.
"How do you know that?" Oliver asked. She rose her chin.
"Because I met the dark force. Her name is Clythia. And she wanted to enslave every person in the court," Selene said.
"I see there are many of you from various backgrounds with various situations," she continued, louder. "But we need to devise a plan. Together, we can fight these dark forces. We can give the High Lord the ability to do better, and even negotiate a change in power." To her surprise, people around her were buying it. Despite their hatred for Tobias, they also wanted stability and peace.
"Very interesting," Oliver said. "Very interesting indeed." Her heartbeat was pounding loudly in her ears. What was that supposed to mean? Was that an agreement? Did that mean they would listen to her?
"I promise you will get what you want in the end," Selene said, her voice soft. "But we must work together."
"Prove it to them," Leon whispered. She looked at him, her eyes wide.
"What?" She asked, just as quiet. He was smiling at her.
"You want us to work with them, but you need to prove it. Become a member." And then Leon showed her his palm. She had never noticed it but there was a scar – a line that went from his pinky, across his palm, and ending at the top of his wrist. He was a member.
But she knew what that membership was. It was blood-bound. The moment they would slice palm, would be the moment she would be magically bound to her allegiance. She would die being one of them. It wasn't something she could ever take back.
And Leon had already pledged himself.
Her eyes were wide, looking around. They were all waiting quietly, their eyes on her questionably. They weren't bad people – if anything, they were listening. They were willing to help. And, Leon was right. If she wanted them to help her, she needed to prove it.
"Revolutionaries," she said louder, "Let me prove it to you. Let me pledge myself." And that's when Leon took out his knife. Everybody was silent. Leon, on the other hand, was smiling.
"Okay." She watched as the knife went down towards her hand, but just when the tip touched her palm, an explosion erupted so loudly that she stumbled backwards against the strangers behind her.
The whole world was red. Everywhere, blood drenched. And she saw, as she looked around, that half of the crowd was gone. Misted. And even then, the survivors closer to the podium around her were exploding one by one. She was surrounded with red that decorated the walls, guts that covered the marble floor, and a river of blood that reached her ankles. There were shreds of clothing spewed out everywhere, full body parts flying towards her at every angle. Even she, for a moment, had to put her hands on her own body because she couldn't feel anything. She couldn't feel her own heart beating. The smell of blood was so strong that she started gagging uncontrollably.
"Selene, we have to go!" It was Jameson, she realized, who had grabbed onto her, his hand on her wrist. Several feet away from them, Leon was scrambling to his feet. He wobbled horribly. She tried reaching for him, to grab him through the hysterical crowd, but Jameson pulled her back.
"No!" Jameson snarled at her. "We have to go, now! Leave him!" But then she finally saw Tobias. He was standing on the podium, looming over the surviving crowd. So far, he hadn't met her eyes. Maybe he didn't know she was here. His hands were in his pockets, blood splattered on his cheek.
"We need to go before he sees you," she heard Jameson say. The fae around them were starting to explode too, as if Tobias was going through every row individually. Jameson cursed underneath his breath and closed his eyes, as if to winnow, but then he cursed again. It was too late - her husband was looking at her, pain shadowing in his eyes. Trying to understand, once again.
"It's too late." And then suddenly, the front doors banged open. Sentries stomped in, swishing through the blood. The sentries caught hold of Leon first, yanking him up. He tried thrashing but by the time he was on his feet steadily, he was winnowed away. Sentries then bombarded Jameson and her as well, yanking Jameson away from her. She reached for him, trying to grab onto him, to save him, but he was winnowed away.
And then she felt a hand on her own shoulder. She peered up. Tobias was hovering over her, his eyes looking into hers deathly. And before she could say a word, she was gone. She closed her eyes for a moment, not even breathing, expecting herself to land in a prison cell - or possibly even dead. But when she opened them, she was in a throne room. Tobias was sitting in his throne stiffly. Her and her friends - Jameson and Leon, were chained up, forced on their knees. She felt two hands grab her, forcing her knees to meet the marble ground as well.
The marble floor was cold. Nobody put chains on her, but she still felt helpless. Weak. She looked to the two men on either side. They looked like a mess - blood covered each part of them, globs and small pieces of body parts that she'd rather not know about decorated their bodies. They were both breathing rapidly, as if they still recovering from the blood bath they had just came from. Though they looked repulsive, she realized that she probably looked the same. As she looked down at herself, all she saw was red. She couldn't see a single detail on her own body.
She looked upward. Tobias was sitting on his throne, but there was something off about him. Something different as he looked between the three of them silently, his jaw clenched. His eyes stayed on her, piercing her tightly as she held his gaze. He glanced at Jameson curiously, and then looked back at her. The seconds ticked as he looked back and forth at the two of them, as if debating something in the back of his mind.
"Is that baby his?" He asked softly as he peered down at her stomach. The way he said it was like he saw the child as a parasite, a disease, and not a bundle of life and love that she fought so dearly to protect. Selene's eyes widened as her hand flew to the baby bump, suddenly ill as she realized she had miscalculated.
"Tobias, I would never-"
"I asked a question, Selene," he snapped, colder than he had ever spoken. "Is it his?"
"It's yours!" Selene said, her voice cracking. "Tobias, please listen to me. I did it for us. For this family! I would never betray you-" But the look on his face made her silent. For a second, she wondered what was going to happen to her. He had never looked at her so dismissively, so ruthlessly. Like the light twinkle that always shown in his eyes when he looked at her had finally burned out and now all reflected back at her was darkness. Pointless, cruel darkness.
Finally, he snapped his fingers at one of the sentries. Even the sentries were caked with blood.
"Get her off her fucking knees," Tobias commanded. She let out a breath. "She's my wife, for Cauldron's sake. She's going to do this on her two feet." She winced at his last words, the sharpness in his voice ringing against the ancient walls.
Behind her, a sentry scooped her up. She almost slipped on the blood pile under her but the sentry stabilized her. She looked at the sentry, registering his empty face, and then towards Tobias. She shivered fearfully.
"Tobias, let me explain-"
"Don't say my name." His voice was firm. "Don't you dare say my name." She closed her mouth obediently, her eyes wide. He shifted in his throne uncomfortably, rubbing his temples in small circles.
"Tell me," he said, and his voice shook for just a moment as he gave a light chuckle. "Tell me, how does my own wife sleep next to me every night and still want me dead?" Her lips trembled.
"That wasn't the intention," she replied wobbly. "I didn't know, Tobias. They-they told me a prophecy about how a swan would-"
"You were that swan!" Tobias roared suddenly. She shrunk back with a jerk. "Because of you, because I listened to you, it's going to take years for my court to gain the strength I once had. Years." Tears were rolling down her face - hot tears as she reached for him, trying to get him to understand.
"And the best part is that you were gullible enough to think that you were behind all of this," Tobias continued, grimacing. The tears pouring out of her eyes stopped, her eyebrows scrunching down in confusion. "You were tricked, Selene. Lied to. Deceived." Her eyes fell to Jameson. He was fuming, shaking as he fought to get off his knees. Tobias had silenced him with magic.
"We did it together," Selene argued desperately, her chest tightening as she grasped for the words that felt so far away, "I knew what I was getting into. Jameson came to me and he said you-you would die! He didn't trick me into it. He told me you would die if you went in the direction you were going. What was I supposed to do? Not try to save you?" But nothing changed on Tobias's face. Her words were nothing, simply hung in the air limply.
"I'm talking about him, Selene," Tobias said, his eyes falling to Leon. "He planned all of this. He manipulated you into joining the cause. He believed that the one thing that could break me, that could tear me down, was you." Leon was expressionless. Selene looked back at Tobias, grimacing.
"Wait, are you blaming Leon for this? Tob-My Lord, he meant no harm to you. He's just a bystander to this." But Tobias's eyes turned to her, his eyes raging with fury. Her back stiffened straight, her jaw clenched. His eyebrows shot up.
"No harm? He certainly meant harm when he killed my father." Selene flinched back.
"That's a lie," she said back. Leon had told her in confidence that Tobias was to blame for his death, that Tobias killed his own wretched father. She gaped stupidly, her mouth opening and closing several times. Because, after all, Tobias wasn't a liar. Not usually, not if it was important.
Leon was still expressionless, watching carefully. She opened her mouth but then Tobias spoke before she could make a sound, "Let me guess, he told you it was me who murdered him, didn't he, beautiful Selene? While I'm flattered by your undying dedication to still stay with me after being told that I was a murderous coward, I would never kill my own father. But I guess it's easier to believe that it was me rather than accepting that he's a monster in sheep's skin." Slowly, Selene shook her head. Leon, of all people, would never kill his own father. She had seen the pain in his eyes when he spoke about him, the regret.
"I thought you realized that during Calanmai, Selene," Tobias muttered flatly, his eyes unchanging as he looked her over mercilessly. "He killed that woman because that's who he is deep inside. A cold beast." Selene sputtered at him stupidly. He was absolutely mad, Selene decided. But when she looked at Leon, she flinched. He was…smiling. But this was a smile Selene had never seen him reflect - a hungry, vicious smile. The smile of a wolf. The smile of a liar.
She could've sworn the whole room span for a moment.
"Why do I have to spell it out for you?" Tobias said breathlessly, his eyes wide as he caught her staring at Leon questionably. "You still don't believe me." She looked up at Tobias pleadingly, confused by this utter nightmare she had fallen into.
"But-but it was Jameson and I who-"
"Why do you think it was so easy for Jameson to reach you?" How did you even get in here? "Did you really think Clythia got that idea from herself?" Drugging a high lord…doing that would cause a rational leader to go to war. "Where do you think the throne would go to, Selene, if I was no longer in it?" And she couldn't answer his questions. Instead, she gaped.
Maybe he was a beast, Selene considered for the first time. After all this time, maybe he was.
She shook her head lightly. Not in disagreement but in horror.
"He saw you as a weapon the moment he met you, Selene," Tobias said, his voice soft, "He targeted you and he almost even won." And then Selene began to wonder, how did Jameson get a hold of her so easily, whenever he needed her? How could a rebel group become so big, and so powerful, without someone helping them from the inside?
"When did you know?" Leon said. Selene jerked her head towards Leon. Leon was smiling, smiling as he held onto his brother's gaze. Selene's face twisted. She whipped back towards Tobias. His face had contorted to rage when he met Leon's smile. A hot, white rage. She could feel it in her stomach as he looked at Leon, nearly making her buckle on her knees.
"When you forced me to go to the villages," Tobias admitted, his voice far more calm than she expected. His voice, despite the fact she could feel the anger burn inside her, was flat and emotionless. "When you wanted me to go on the tour. If I hadn't found Selene, I would've came back far earlier, leaving you with the opportunity to hold an ambush against me, but that didn't work, did it? Because that night I didn't go straight back to the palace, I went to the High Priestess to get married." And Selene tried to think about that night. She remembered they hadn't winnowed, they walked all the way to the village where they married. Why had they walked in the blizzard instead of just winnowing? She had never asked. And why was he so quiet that entire walk? She thought it was because he was shocked by her, but what if he was watching her every step because he was worried they would be attacked? What if he was tipped off?
"Was it really that bad? Being my second hand man?" Tobias said quietly, as Leon delayed to respond. Selene could hear the pain leak out of his voice. "Was it worth it, using my wife like an old rag to fulfill your own agenda? Did you honestly think you could win?" Selene's eyes fell to the ground. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably, her body feeling raw.
"It was my birthright," Leon whispered bitterly. Selene's breath paced as she tried to understand Leon, tried to understand what was happening. Surely, this couldn't be real. But still, he was earnest when he said the words. Tobias let out a small snort.
"She deserved so much better than you," Leon let out. This time, Tobias's face twisted. Surprise flickered. "Stuck mated with you, of all people. Forced to lay next to an emotionless, obsessive high lord who only cared for power. She would be better off if you were dead."
"Next to you?" And when Tobias said it, mocking as it was, Selene knew that it was just a guess. Grasping at straws to connect the dots. He didn't truly know the meaning beyond Leon's words, the type of passion that layed beneath it, and neither did Selene. But by the look on Leon's face, the way his chin tilted upward, the way eyes flashed towards Selene as if he couldn't help but do so, Tobias was correct.
"I would have loved her the way she deserved," Leon said softly, and a shadow of sadness flickered in her eyes. "You don't know how difficult it was for me to not seek her out on Calanmai. To feel her breaths in the cave next to mine, my body aching to reach her, to touch the pure girl who deserved so much more than anybody could ever give, but not move an inch. Unlike you, I would've made love to her. And she would've made love to me back." And there was a moment of silence. Tobias was looking him up and down, as if trying to find a way to refute his claims, but he couldn't. He couldn't say he was better. He couldn't even make himself lie.
"Isn't that sweet," Tobias mocked finally, but there was no twisted smile on his face now. "Planning on murdering her husband in cold blood and then seducing her when she's vulnerable. What a beautiful love story."
"She would've loved me more," was all Leon said. And then he exploded. Blood, more blood, rained in the air. She inhaled raggedly, reaching towards where his body once stood, but some invisible force yanked her back.
—
She sunk down and puked onto the marble floor. She stood up wobbly, heaving as she looked at the bloody piles around her. Everything looked distorted. The world spanned as she tried to focus on the splattered blood, but she could barely stand up. Her friends. Two people she had clung onto deathly, who had helped her through everything. Who had taught her how to love, how to forgive. They were gone. So painfully, so unneedingly. Gone.
"Are you okay?" Her head shifted to the voice. The words were sincere, so casual, as if she had simply fallen down the last step of a staircase. No worry, no shakiness.
"Okay? Okay?" She repeated, choking on the last word. She was sobbing, sobbing so loud that it took her a moment to even open her mouth fully. His head was leaning against his hand patiently, waiting for her to calm down. "You…I can't believe you…" And he looked so content on his beautiful throne, she thought. His skin was full of color, his body so relaxed and without mourning. He didn't look in shock or in pain. It was like looking at an oil painting, seeing the dark lord reign.
"You sick son of a bitch," she continued, the words so small that she wasn't entirely sure if he heard it.
"You didn't even have to think about it twice, did you?" She whispered emptily. "You don't even care." One of his eyebrows perked up, mildly interested. Like a cat playing with yarn.
"Oh, I promise you beautiful Selene, I care," He said, his voice shifting darker. "And I thought about my decisions greatly." But then it was her turn to laugh at him.
"You killed your brother. And your cousin," She sputtered, her chest rising up and down rapidly. "You don't give a damn." But then he leaned forward on his throne, his eyes narrowing on her warningly.
"Who wanted to fuck you as soon as I was a corpse," he said, bewildered. And while her stomach burned and her lips trembled, she couldn't tear away from his gaze.
"That's not an excuse. They didn't deserve-"
"They were traitors," he growled impatiently. "Use your mind, Selene. What was I supposed to do, lock them up for eternity? Give them mercy for infiltrating my wife's mind and trying to take my throne? No, Selene. I had to make an example. I had no other option." She shook her head at him, her mouth ajar in disgust.
"No other option? You…you could've been better from the first place!" She screeched, her voice rising now. She yelled so loud that it echoed against the ancient walls, "You should've been a good High Lord. You should've listened to your people instead of your war lords, you should've let Leon have the throne. You should've been smart, Tobias!" And then his hands were gripping the chair tightly, his teeth clenched. If it wasn't made out of gold, it would've broken. The color had washed from his face and finally, she realized, she had broken him. She had finally broken the terrifying High Lord.
She sniffled once before flashing a mirthless smile.
"Do it," she taunted, her voice like a lover. "Kill me, Tobias. Be a man and get it over with." But then a genuine smile unraveled on his face, humored.
"I'm not going to kill you, Selene," he purred. Her teeth jittered. His mockery felt like a slap in the face. Her friends were dead, but her? She was the one who deserved to get spared?
"You fucking coward," She shouted, spitting towards his throne. His nose flared as he jolted back, his eyes running down her rapidly.
"Excuse me?"
"Do it because I'll never stop. I'll never stop seeking justice. I will never stop fighting." And his eyes widened for a moment, digesting her words, but then his fury dissolved. He shook his head calmly, his fingers loosening on the chair.
"Oh, yes you will," Tobias told her. "You're of child, Selene. My child." Selene's lips pressed together firmly. She hadn't noticed that her hand had been clenching the light bump but she forced her shaking hand to go to her side. A motherly instinct inside of her was screaming at her to put it back. To protect her child. But she wouldn't. And she knew that Tobias noticed it because the sympathetic look on his face disappeared and replaced it with a moment-long face of shock.
"Please, you don't even want the child," she snarled back. "You never wanted it. I'm sure you plotted to kill it every way possible since you found out I was pregnant. It's just another entity that'll fight for your throne. Another thing that'll take my attention from you. I'm sure you are plotting to kill it anyways."
"You're right," he admitted, and she flinched back. Because it was one thing believing it, but actually validating the disgusting actions? "I didn't want it and I have my reasons. But when I saw your face, I realized that I didn't care as long as I had you. I saw the damn foolish look in your eyes when you found out it was inside of you. I saw the beam of happiness that had lightened your face."
"If only I had known that it's father was a monster…"
"Maybe I am," Tobias considered, "But I love you. I love you more than I love this damn kingdom."
"If you loved me, you wouldn't have killed them," she murmured softly. But he ignored her.
"We can have this conversation all day, Selene. We can have this until-" And then she took the dagger from her belt and whipped it out him. It spiraled into the air so fast that he didn't have time to catch it - he ducked and it flew over his throne by barely an inch. His eyes were wide with shock as it bounced against the marble behind him, soon hitting the wall with a clang.
It wasn't necessarily meant to be a killer shot, she knew she didn't stand a chance, but she wouldn't let him shoo her away.
"You bitch," he sputtered, his face contorting to a maddening rage. He jumped to his feet, his hands in tight balls as he loomed over her. "You fucking bitch. I am the High Lord of Night. I am your husband!" She rose her chin at him.
"And what?" She taunted. "If you aren't going to kill me, then I'm going to make your life a living-" But then a loud, catastrophic banging interrupted her words. No, not the sound of little fists, but something much larger. Selene turned around towards the large doors, watching them rumble, and Tobias stepped away from his throne carefully. His eyes narrowed at the closed entrance. There was a crack, but still the doors didn't open fully.
But at least they could hear Rosalie's words now.
"Don't you touch her! Don't you touch her, Tobias! Please…" Selene's body loosened as Rosalie's voice broke. She felt like she was going to puke all over again.
"Leave her out of this," Selene let out, turning towards Tobias with her crystal eyes shining desperately. Even though knots tugged inside her stomach and she gritted her teeth when she met his dark eyes, she said, her voice like a child's, "Please, don't." His didn't waver.
"She helped them," Tobias pointed out coldly, though she couldn't tell if murdering her was his original intentions, or if it was just his intentions now. Selene bit her lip painfully, drawing blood as her mind realized how this could end.
And her eyes lingered at the large pools of blood as the pleading screams echoed behind her. They were dead, she thought, but Rosalie wasn't. Not yet. And maybe she couldn't start a revolution, but if she could save one person…
"I'll do it," Selene heard herself say - begging, even. His eyes flickered. "I'll-I'll try, alright? No, not try. I will…" She gagged on her words. It was so repulsive, so against what she believed in. So against what she fought for "I'm done with it all. I will let this go. I…" But she didn't have to finish her words. She couldn't even look at him. She felt so helpless, so weightless. Like she was nothing.
"It's a deal," Tobias murmured. She felt him lean over her, kissing her on the head. And as his kiss left an imprint of warmth, she flinched back. As she jerked away from him, clearly repulsed, she saw a flash of anger flicker in Tobias's eyes. She turned away coldly, marching towards the door before he could say another word, but then his hand grasped her arm tightly. She stopped with a jolt but she didn't dare turn around. She refused to look into his devilish eyes.
"Have you ever wondered why I hate her so much, Selene? Why I despise a woman I fucked for three years?" Tobias's voice purred, causing a shiver to go down her spine. She didn't respond, she didn't even breathe. But she waited for him to speak. "Because she reminds me every day that I almost didn't find you. That there was a time that I almost picked her to be my partner and I would have never seen your beautiful face. She reminds me that I almost lost you before I even met you and whenever I look upon her face, all I can think about is how many men I'd slaughter if you left. How many people would be destroyed if you walked away from me - from this." It was a threat. Just another chain to keep her obedient, another lock that she would never be able to pick. And the most terrifying part was that she believed him. She didn't doubt that he'd burn down the entire damn world just to have her in his hands again.
She yanked herself away from him and he let his thick hand fall away. She began to walk towards the door again, slowly but steadily. She couldn't feel her feet, she realized. She couldn't feel anything. But as her hand met the doorknob, she didn't hesitate to say one last thing to him.
"The baby isn't a girl. It's a boy. He's a boy."