AUTHOR NOTE: I'm using the stripper idea and the name 'Ruby' so I wanted to give a shout-out to the one that got my 'creative' juices flowing. (I know—eww—or YAY!) -Go for 'Yay'!

This is the mommieburger version of a late 1990's FanFic called 'Ruby' by Ary GH. I've taken my own smutty path so I can confidently call this work my own.

Remember that this is a Total Smut Biscuit. There is a plot, but I try to keep it to a minimum. A little of the canonized character may suffer, but it's all for a good cause—right? Seeing how Mulder and Scully come together is reward in itself. Enjoy.

P.S. The chapter headings are variations of strip club lingo. I might scatter some throughout the story too. If you are curious about something and I didn't explain it—let me know. I don't want to confuse anyone.

The last SMUT chapter is unfinished. Suggestions welcome! ;-)

On with the show…


Summary: Scully goes undercover as a stripper, but keeps Mulder in the dark. Mulder's new temporary partner finds out and the hunt is on. Skinner gets a little touch/feely with Stripper Scully and Mulder may have to confront his boss and several other men over the delectable Agent. Who knows how this will end? Only time will tell.


Deep Red by mommieburger


Prologue – Floor Work


Dana Scully was practicing her floor routine. Her mentor, Shania, had taught her some fantastic moves, but it required a lot of dexterity and skill. She decided to get the basics down wearing shorts and a tank top before she moved into her professional dress. Scully always had respect and awe for expert dancers. Ballet, Jazz and Modern were her favorites. It was thrilling to watch how beautiful the human body was in flawless motion.

Now that she was training to be a stripper, she had a different perspective. She would never tell Shania that she once looked down on people like her, thinking they were less than the rest for displaying their body for $1 bills, but a classy striptease act wasn't any less beautiful—it was just sexual too. Yeah, there were skanks out there that made you want to mop the stage with disinfectant when they were through, but she was surprised at how few of them were. She guessed it depended on the club and she was at a very exclusive one.

Scully had been working hard for a week. Shania gave her hair, clothing and makeup tips to maximize her strengths and also was her dance coach. The skill required to present yourself as a desirable object as well as maintain the technical and flawless aspect of the dance was staggering. She hasn't even learned how to use the pole yet. Secretly, she was looking forward to it.

"You are doing great, Ruby!" Shania encouraged. "Remember to keep your ass high. The patrons like to see you arch your back. That's it! Now roll…up…and shake. Wow! Good job! The P.L's are going to love you."

"P.L.'s?" Scully asked.

"Pathetic Losers, honey. That's what we call those men in the Pervert Row hoping that they can gain our attention by waving a bunch of bills. It you are working the stage that night—it's your life blood, but the real money is made in the back. Of course fresh meat, like you, will be stuck on the stage for a while."

"Do I have to take off all of my clothes every dance?" Scully was worried. This was moving fast for her.

"Naw. This club doesn't let you go more than topless and that choice is up to the dancer. You get more tips if they see tits, but considering you're new to this, you may want to start slow."

"When will I get my chance on stage?"

"Real soon. I think you are almost ready. Your floor dance is great, but I have to train you on the pole too." Shania fingered the shiny brass device.

"I appreciate you taking me under your wing, Shania. I don't have much experience…"

"I know, honey. I'm doing my boss a favor because your boss asked a favor from him. I get it. Sometimes high priced escorts like you get better clients if they have a few more skills. I'm cool with that. Now onto the pole…"


ENDING NOTE: How will Mulder react when his delicious partner becomes a stripper? What has steered her into this dark life of sex and smut? Stay tuned...