Usual disclaimers apply

A short piece in the basement of Sunnydale High. Set just after 'Lessons'

Spike's feelings

I want to kill her! Take this thing out of my head so that I can get it done. She doesn't want me she'll never want me.

Fists clench, tears threaten to fall but soulless vampires don't cry. Do they?

I caused her pain, tried to take what she wouldn't give me willingly.

She hates me, she'll always hate me.

Punch the wall, hit my head against it, hope that the pain will temper the guilt, but soulless vampires don't feel guilt. Do they?

Just wanted to feel her close to me, to be with her whatever the cost.

Fall to kneeling, fingers knot in short hair. Love her, but soulless vampires don't love. Do they?

I'm a demon, it's how I am, it's what I do. I can't help my desire to take what I need.

Cry out in agony and despair, scream at the sky in regret, but soulless vampires don't regret. Do they?

Knees drawn to chest, arms wrapped tightly round, rocking gently, backwards, forwards, rocking gently.

I do have a soul, I got it back, remember, for her.. I took it back.

She doesn't want me she'll never want me.

She hates me, she'll always hate me.

Just wanted to feel her close to me, to be with her whatever the cost.

Love her.

Tears fall, but soulless vampires don't cry do they?