It wasn't really a surprise for Wendy to hear that her dad didn't approve of Eric Cartman as her new boyfriend, but she hadn't expected him to react by pulling a shotgun out of his gun safe. He had never done that with Stan, not even when he came over drunk shortly before their nasty breakup - and again after their nasty breakup.

Needless to say, she was more than a little mad at her father over his reaction, and it didn't help when he grabbed Eric's arm and forced him out of the house. "Dad! What did he do?"

Her dad slammed the door in Eric's face. "He's a bad influence, Wendy! I don't want my daughter hanging around a future inmate!"

"You're one to talk! I know you spent time in prison when you were younger!"

"That's how I know what a future inmate looks like!" He walked back toward the basement where he kept the gun safe. "I don't want to hear any more of this Eric Cartman nonsense!"

"I'm seventeen! You can't tell me-"

"You still live in my house, missy! And I don't want you around him until you're out of my house!"

Before she could protest further, her cell phone chimed its text message alert tone. She pulled it out of her pocket; the message was from Eric. What the hell was that about?

He's just crazy. I'll try to talk him down.

Until then...you still wanna go out tonight?

Dad won't let me.

Come on, ho, you don't need his permission to have fun! Sneak out. I'm waiting in the driveway still.

Wendy smiled. Eric loved to cause trouble, and she had to guess that's what she found attractive about him, especially after all those years with straight-laced Stan Marsh. After a quick glance down at what she was wearing-a white tank top and a pair of jeans since it was nice out-and another glance to be sure her father wasn't out of the basement yet, she turned and ran out of the house.

...

Becky was a beauty from south Alabama

Daddy had a heart like a nine-pound hammer

Think he even did a little time in the slammer

What was I thinkin'?

...

Running as fast as she could, Wendy darted around the front of Eric's pickup truck and leaped into the passenger's side as her dad burst through the front door. The shotgun was still in his hand.

Her eyes widened when she saw that he was still holding the gun. "Oh crap, he must've forgotten the combination again!"

"Hold on!" He put the truck in drive and pressed the gas pedal to the floor. As he whipped out of the driveway, Wendy's father shot at the truck, peppering the tailgate.

As her house faded away quickly, Wendy started laughing excitedly. She grabbed onto Eric's arm with the biggest smile she's ever had. "I've never done anything like this before!"

Eric locked his dark brown eyes with her blue ones and smirked. "I think tonight's going to be a night for a lot of firsts...?"

She slid to be in the middle of the bench seat, right next to him as he drove. Her eyes had a mischevious glint about them. "Hmm, maybe. Let's just see."

He smiled and turned down another road leading out of South Park.

...

She snuck out one night and met me by the front gate

Her daddy came out wavin' that 12-gauge

We tore out the drive; he peppered my tailgate

What was I thinkin'?

Oh, I knew there'd be hell to pay

But that crossed my mind a little too late!

...

The sun was going down as they sped out of town and toward the fields leading closer to the mountains. As they closed in on an abandoned barn where all the teenagers went to make out or have sex in peace, Wendy's hand rested rather high on Eric's thigh.

He glanced over at her to see her face was red and she was squirming in her seat. Hoping that meant what he thought it meant, he swung the truck onto a dirt road and sped down it until they reached the faded red barn.

...

'Cause I was thinkin' 'bout a little white tank top

Sittin' right there in the middle by me

I was thinkin' 'bout a long kiss, man

Just gotta get goin' where the night might lead

...

No sooner did he throw the truck into park than Wendy grabbed his face and mashed her lips into his. His hands rested on her hips at she unzipped his red jacket.

Taking her lead, Eric allowed his jacket to slip off onto the door. He obliged when she pulled him forward and she fell back onto the bench seat, leaving him on top of her; she even grabbed one of his hands and brought it to her breast.

Smirking, Eric pulled away and hovered over her. "All this from convincing you to sneak out?"

She laughed again. "I've never done anything remotely like this!" She let out a carefree sigh. "I feel like I could do anything right now." She met his smirk now. "Come back here."

Now he was smiling widely enough for his teeth to be seen. "Whatever you want, ho." He leaned back down and captured her mouth in his as the hand she had guided to her chest wandered underneath her shirt and bra. Him cupping her bare breast in his hand was enough to make her release perhaps the sexiest gasp he'd ever heard.

He made a noise low in his throat at her gasp. "You like that, ho?"

"Don't call me a 'ho'," she protested weakly. She moaned as one of his fingers grazed her nipple.

"Oh?" His hand left her breast; his fingerpads lightly pressing against her skin as he made his way to the top of her jeans. "Would you prefer slu-" He was cut off by a loud tapping on the window of the driver's side door. He groaned in frustration and rolled the window down for Officer Barbrady. "Yes?"

"You kids know that this is private property, right?" The old police officer asked them in his usual dopey way.

Wendy, very red in the face, sat up at Eric came up with some vague excuse as to why they were there. But as she did, Officer Barbrady turned his attention to her.

"Hey! You're Wendy Testaburger!"

She glanced at him and very nearly groaned as well when she saw who it was that had interrupted them. "Yes, Officer Barbrady."

"I'm supposed to take you home, young lady!" He pointed at the teenagers when they looked confused. "Your dad is really mad at you, young lady! And he wants me to arrest you, young man!"

...

I knew what I was feelin'

...

"Drive, Eric!" Wendy yelled.

The wheels kicked up dirt as he sped away from Officer Barbrady. "Don't need to tell me that!"

...

But what was I thinkin'?

What was I thinkin'?

...

He whipped the truck back onto the road leading to the mountains and slowed down a bit. They looked at each other and laughed, thinking that Barbrady surely wasn't going to send anyone after them. If anything, they figured that he'd come after them himself. And he was easy enough to lose without much effort now that he was older.

"Don't worry, babe," Eric said as Wendy fixed her clothes, "there's lots of dark places for us to get it on around here."

She leaned against his arm with her hand back on his thigh; she noticed that his pants were a tightly pulled around his crotch now. "Oh, I know." She moved her hand over the bulge between his legs. "Let's get there sooner rather than later, grandpa."

Eric chuckled. "Alright then." He pressed the gas down and sped up. The faster they were going, he noticed the more Wendy seemed to be enjoying herself, even if she wasn't saying anything.

Before they got too far, however, a row of police lights showed up behind them, closing in fast.

Her eyes widened again. "Eric!"

"I know!" He sped up and spotted a corn field coming up just off the road. "Hold on to something that's not me!" He drove off the road, turned the lights of his truck off, and went straight into the corn field.

...

By the county line, the cops were nippin' on our heels

Pulled off the road and kicked it in four-wheel

Shut off the lights and tore through a corn field

What was I thinkin'?

...

Wendy yelled as they tore through the field, but she was soon screaming at him to go faster and faster as they approached the other side. She laughed loudly as they exploded from the corn field, he flipped his lights back on, and they went speeding down another dirt road.

...

Out the other side, she was hollerin' "faster!"

Took a dirt road and had the radio blastin'

Hit the honky tonk for a little close dancin'

What was I thinkin'?

Oh, I knew there'd be hell to pay!

But that crossed my mind a little too late!

...

"Just down here!" Eric slid the truck into a spot behind another barn and got out. He waved her toward him. "Come on, let's go in. They won't get to us inside."

...

'Cause I was thinkin' 'bout a little white tank top

Sittin' right there in the middle by me

I was thinkin' 'bout a long kiss, man

Just gotta get goin' where the night might lead

I know what I was feelin'

But what was I thinkin'?

...

Without even thinking about it, Wendy jumped out and followed him toward the barn. She pulled him to her as they got closer, but as they entered through the back entrance, they finally heard the party happening inside.

They looked around and saw a bunch of people from their school drinking and smoking and dancing to the loud music playing. Disappointed, they turned to leave and find yet another place to be alone, but a hand on Wendy's shoulder stopped them.

She turned around and paused at who was there, drunk with a tumbler of whiskey in his other hand. "Stan?" She pretended not to notice him staring at her chest, but that was nothing new when he was off his ass. "What're you doing here?"

"Me?" Stan sounded offended that she would ask such a thing. "What're you doing here? And with him!" He pointed accusingly at Eric as if that made his point all the clearer.

Eric put his hands up in surrender. "We're not here intentionally. We were looking for a place to fuck when we came upon this place."

She smacked his stomach. "Eric!"

Stan's mouth dropped as he looked between them. He wouldn't have believed it if he didn't notice how red Wendy's face got when she looked at him again. "No way! I tried to get you to do me for two years, and you just open your legs for this fatass right away?"

She looked away from him. "Well..."

"You're not as exciting as I am," Eric said happily; a shit-eating grin was plastered on his face.

"Am too!"

"Don't think you've been shot at by her father and chased by the police while trying to find a place to-"

"Eric, he knows what we were trying to do," she cut him off.

Gnashing his teeth, Stan grabbed Wendy's wrist tightly so she couldn't get away. "Well then, come on! I'm drinking illegally! That's exciting! Spread 'em!"

"Stop acting like we didn't-"

Eric punched Stan in the mouth and grabbed Wendy's shoulders without even realizing what he was cutting off. "Guess we're leaving."

As they turned around, they heard Kyle and Kenny's voices yelling for Eric to turn around and fight them. Instead of listening to them, the two ran back to the truck with the other two not far behind.

Wendy slid across the bench seat so Eric could jump in and they sped off down the dirt road again.

...

When a mountain of a man with a "born to kill" tattoo

Tried to cut in, I knocked out his front tooth

We ran outside, hood slidin' like Bo Duke

What was I thinkin'?

...

Finally, after having given up on barns, they found a quiet place near the base of the mountain.

Without wasting any time in case they were interrupted again, Wendy tore off her shirt and pants, and Eric threw his shirt aside and pushed his pants and underwear down to his knees. She pulled him on top of her and laughed as he struggled to unclip her bra.

Once the damnable bra was out of the way, he cupped her breasts and kissed her neck to get her heated and ready to go like she had been earlier. As she gasped and moaned beneath him, one of his hands traveled down between her legs and into her panties to see if she was ready for him.

He smirked when she gave out a little yell for him to "just do it" when one of his fingers touched the most sensitive part of her. "Well, fine then." He pushed her panties aside and slid his cock into her, finding, much to his surprise, that she was less virgin that he was expecting. But that discussion could wait. His mind was already more than halfway gone the moment he entered her.

He reveled in the feeling of her around him; she dug her nails deeply into his back with every thrust he made into her and her teeth sank deeper into his shoulder with every moan that tried to come out. It seemed to nearly torture her when he leaned up far enough away that she couldn't bite down on him, and the sound of her voice nearly drove him to cum too soon.

Hoping to last a little bit longer, Eric slid his fingers into Wendy's mouth, thinking it might silence her, but she just sucked on them, adding to his struggle. So he leaned down and took one of her nipples into his mouth, evoking a loud yelp from her.

But even trying to distract himself into torturing Wendy like this, Eric couldn't help himself. Before long, he buried his entirety into her and came. His release was even better when Wendy dug her nails into his back so deeply that she accidentally drew blood. He tried not to collapse on top of her as his cock pulsed and his muscles spasmed.

As Eric was panting with the ferocity of his release, he noticed on of Wendy's hands going to work on herself so she would orgasm too. He brushed her hand aside and replaced it with his own, stroking her clit until she finally screamed and spasmed against him a few moments later.

As they lay there on the bench seat of his truck, panting and kissing, they both realized what Eric had done, but neither cared. It added to the excitement for Wendy, and Eric just didn't really give a rat's furry ass.

He finally pulled out of her and helped her sit up. "You good?"

"Better than good," she laughed.

He laughed too. He released a long breath as he leaned against the back of the seat and rolled his window down to let in some fresh air. He pulled his pants back on as he saw Wendy gathering her clothes from the corner of his eye.

"Oh shit!" She yelled when she finally saw the time. "I need to get home!"

Eric smiled and grabbed the shop rag he kept behind his seat; he wiped the fog they had created off the windows. "Let's go then, ho."

"I told you not to call me a 'ho'." She gave him a look of faux irritation.

He smirked as they drove down the road back into town. "How about slut?"

Now she really was irritated. "I like 'ho' better."

"Ho, it is!"

A few minutes later, they were in front of Wendy's house. He asked her if she thought she could really sneak inside and upstairs without waking anyone up.

"Yeah," she assured him, "I do it all the time." But as she moved to get out of the truck, the motion sensor light in front of the house flipped on and they saw her dad waiting on the porch.

"Oh fuck," they both said as he started toward them.

...

Finally got her home at half past too late

Her daddy's in a lawn chair sittin' on the driveway

Put it in park as he started my way

What was I thinkin'?

Oh, what was I thinkin'?

...

Wendy looked at Eric and smirked.

...

Then she gave a come-and-get-me grin

...

He took the hint and floored it.

...

And like a bullet, we were gone again!

...

Just as excited as she was at the beginning of the night, Wendy sat right next to Eric as he drove quickly to his house and whipped his truck into the backyard where her dad wouldn't see it.

...

'Cause I was thinkin' 'bout a little white tank top

Sittin' right there in the middle by me

I was thinkin' 'bout a long kiss, man

Just gotta get goin' where the night might lead

I know what I was feelin'

...

They jumped out of the truck and started for the house, pulling at each other's clothes again, leaving her white tank top next to the truck.

...

Yeah, I know what I was feelin'!

...

Eric practically threw her on his bed when they got there and barely gave her even a few seconds to catch her breath before he was on her again.

Without a single care in the world about what was going to happen when they finally left that house, Eric and Wendy stayed there together until they couldn't anymore.

...

But what was I thinkin'?