Alright all my lovely fans! I have yet ANOTHER plot bunny, but I'm unable to make it even a one-shot properly. Mostly because one of the main characters is beyond my current ability to write. Shocking, I know.
Anyway the plot bunny is this:
Waver, still reeling from losing Iskander makes a figurative deal with the devil...in this case Zelretch. He wants to see Iskander when he was at his strength, not as the shadow that had grown on him throughout the war. So Zelretch turns him back into a child and sends him back to the past so Waver can see Iskander as he was, not as the one who had been more or less putting up with him because he needed Waver to sustain himself.
Can include adoption by Iskander or just raising him as an heir.
Waver MUST return to the Fourth Grail War a second time and try to fix things.
How he turns out as a result of his adventure is entirely up to the one who takes the challenge. Whether he becomes Lord El-Melloi II again or a Lord in his own right is also up to the person who takes the idea. Happy Writing and be sure to include a link!
Harry thought he should feel surprised, but mostly he just felt tired.
That and he was thanking every deity that the Sekirei had a gene that allowed the idea of sharing, because there was no way in hell human women would be so open minded.
He had woken up with a massive hangover to find not the usual five birds in his bed, but seven. Two of which were boarders in Izumo Inn, and thus under the protection of Miya. He cautiously checked their necks, and felt only relief when he found them bare.
Why Matsu and Homura ended up in his house, which was just inside the territory of the Disciplinary Squad (exactly three blocks in all directions from MBI tower), he had no idea.
He got up and started cooking up what he considered an Irish breakfast. Which mainly meant it was geared not to set off those with hangovers, which he could tell from here the two unwinged Sekirei were sure to have.
He kept the hangover remedy stocked for a damn good reason. Dealing with Minaka gave his liver and kidneys a healthy work out.
One by one his flock and the two newcomers wandered into the kitchen in search of food. It didn't take long for Matsu and Homura to realize who's house they were in, but they were too hungover to do anything more than groan.
"Akitsu, it's your turn to do the dishes."
"Homura, Matsu, Kazehana, drink this. Judging by your expressions alone I can safely say you have a grade three hangover."
Homura blearily looked at him.
"What's a grade three?"
"Right in the middle of 'mild hangover' to 'please kill me now and end my suffering'," said Harry blandly.
Kazehana took the vial and downed it without a second thought, before washing out the taste with more food. Matsu and Homura shared a look, before doing the same. Both promptly gagged, but the effects were immediate.
"What is this stuff?"
"Hangover remedy. I keep it stocked because it's easier to deal with that jackass drunk than it is sober. And before you ask, no, neither of you are now part of the flock. You must have run into Kazehana and decided to go drinking," replied Harry.
With the worst of the hangover gone, Homura and Matsu cautiously started eating, before joining Harry's flock in wolfing down the food.
"So...why exactly did you follow Kazehana all the way to my house. No offense Homura, but I thought you didn't swing that way?"
"I heard you talking to Seo, so I've been on a drinking binge for the past week. How did you find that stuff about me anyway?"
"Long story short your ship has an AI in it that hates the jackass, but for some unexplained reason likes me. She refuses to help the scientists and it currently waiting for the technology to catch up so she can walk around in a fake body. Until then..." explained Harry as he pulled out a fairly sophisticated looking device that had Matsu drooling, "She's stuck acting like JARVIS."
"Hi! Call me Sakura!"
"Dear kami, she looks like a nicer version of Miya," said Homura in shock.
"That was my reaction too," said Karasuba snorting. She had mellowed out a little since Harry had gotten over the shock of winging her...and told her flat out she was welcome to kill any idiots who pissed him off.
Or tried to force him back to England. He still got the Daily Prophet, but he mostly used it to line the litter box for Yashima's pet cat. The therapist had suggested she get a pet to help cope with the trauma.
Riddle had recently made his big move, blowing his anonymity out of the water. And thanks to the fact he had Rita re-print the contract between him and Fudge in it's entirety...there was nothing the magical morons could do to bring him back.
The contract included anything from foreign hit wizards, squibs, to the relatives of the muggleborns. About the only thing that could get him to come back was if the Queen herself sent a request by a third party who hadn't been covered by the contract.
Which was why Harry planned to dump Minaka on them and pass along the offer to clean up the mess...even if it meant a mass hanging for the idiots.
"I still have a headache, though it's not alcohol induced," said Homura.
"Don't worry. Once the jackass annoys me enough I'm sending him to Europe and taking control," said Harry.
"Not that, though it does beg the question what you'll do to the Sekirei."
"The contract Minaka made is half-assed at best and fortunately came with a few loopholes."
"What kind of loopholes?"
"Minaka only came up with the game out of boredom, so if he finds something else to take his attention the contract becomes the property of the closest relative with a Sekirei. Since he has a son and daughter, he obviously planned to dump this on them. However both are currently in the country, which leaves me."
Homura stared at him.
"Once all 108 are set loose, and we're sure that your worst offenders are kept on a leash, I'll take care of Minaka without killing him. Let the English have the headache of dealing with him."
"Isn't that considered cruel and unusual punishment for them?" asked Homura.
"They allow a senile old man who thinks it's acceptable to use telepathy to read students minds and has an obsession with the greater good to dictate their actions. The same idiot who thought that not allowing equal force in a war for the so called 'good guys', who at least took into account civilian casualties, was acceptable. I prefer to think of it less as cruel and unusual punishment and more as an unfriendly wake up call that they should really get their heads checked from sticking them in the sand so long," said Harry in a flat tone.
"...Seriously?" said Homura.
"The 'good guys' were only allowed to use tasers and nonlethal methods while the 'bad guys' who have a fetish for rape, torture and murder were killing people left and right for some Nazi bullshit. And no, I am not joking. I have a few history books that say what they did to people that didn't fit their view of 'acceptable' in graphic detail," said Harry.
"And what do you plan to do to the Sekirei once you're in charge?"
"For the most part, nothing. There are other non-human species that co-exist and peacefully live alongside humans, especially in Japan. Considering the powers involved, it's easier to have you all registered with the Magical Ministries. Especially considering the fact that most, if not all Ashikabi have Sekirei in their bloodline. I mostly came to Japan because it's fairly isolated from magical travel, they don't give a damn about the 'purity' of a bloodline, and most of all, because you can spot someone out of Europe pretty damn quick before they cause trouble."
"Magic is real?" said Matsu, eyes glinting in appreciation.
"Aliens exist and have been living with us for centuries?" countered Harry with a smirk.
Homura snorted. If aliens like Sekirei were real, then why not magic?
"Ugh. I can't go to work like this," said Homura.
"So why did you leave England?" asked Matsu.
"'The only thing needed for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.'" said Harry cryptically.
"What does that have to do with anything?" asked Matsu.
"In England there's a terrorist that has been active since the sixties at least. Rather than deal with him, the only man who stands in his way chose to make a club that does little more than spy on their activities and when they do have information, sit on it. I couldn't take it anymore, so I said to hell with them and left before they dragged me back in. I even made certain that they could never force me back into their one-sided war."
"It couldn't have been that bad," said Homura.
Harry leveled a look at him.
"The 'good guys' were content to use only non-lethal tactics and a slap on the wrist with some jail time rather than take out the threat. Meanwhile the 'bad guys' were all too happy to murder the 'good guys' and any unfortunate civilians that happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. They also made it a point to target anyone who didn't fall into their narrow view of the world, to the point they'd rape and murder children under the age of seven," said Harry flatly.
Karasuba suddenly snorted.
"Why do I get the distinct feeling that if you went back I'd be very happy for a few weeks at least?"
"You would be correct. If they found a way to drag me back I'd be more than happy to set you loose on them, no survivors. These idiots like to think they're superior when there are entire generations of children who haven't the faintest idea what the internet is, much less know how to turn on a computer."
Matsu was a tech otaku through and through, and as such she was appalled at the very idea of people living in the stone age willingly.
"So explain to me again why I'm here?"
"I want to introduce you to my son Minato. He could use the help getting a normal girlfriend, and if what you said is true about your family's luck, then he'll get dragged into that idiot's retarded idea of a game before long once he's in Shin Tokyo."
"...Complete loser when it comes to girls, I take it?"
"And when it comes to grades, you're so ahead of the curve it's not even funny."
"...I'm not tutoring him."
"Even I know a pointless endeavor when I see one," said Takami.
"But I suppose we could hire him to help with the socialization skills of the more...ahem...awkward Sekirei on staff."
"You are not putting Karasuba or Haihane in the same room as my son," said Takami flatly. If Karasuba's killing intent didn't terrifying him, Haihane's bizarre penchant for cutting herself by accident with her claws would freak him out.
"Actually I was referring to Yashima and Akitsu. Yashima is starting to develop a phobia for all males except me, and Akitsu is rather..."
Takami shared a commiserating look with him.
Akitsu was a bit...odd. If her bust didn't ruin any chance of infiltration, her attitude would be just as bad.
"Are you just saying that because you're worried Yashima will pick something up from Karasuba and Haihane, or to break my son of his shyness?"
"A bit of column B, but mostly column A. As much as I love Karasuba's rather open personality and the fact Haihane is rather clueless about the fact she has a habit of wearing claws on her hands, the I have enough on my hands explaining to Karasuba why she can't brutally murder people and end their possible contributions to the collective gene pool. One is more than enough, thank you," said Harry.
Takami vehemently agreed on that point.
"It's bad enough I've caught her borrowing some of the spare uniforms," said Harry.
"That sounds perfect! I was considering Benitsubasa, but having them all with the same Ashikabi to begin with sounds just as perfect!" said Minaka.
"Dear gods, why did he have to hear that part..." said Takami horrified.
"Okay, new plan. Bring Yukari to the city so we can corrupt Yashima in a good way before that jackass does even more damage," said Harry flatly.
"Agreed. I'd rather have an Otaku Sekirei on the squad than a second Karasuba. I don't care how effective she is! That idiot is bad enough!" said Takami, already dialing the number. "What should we tell her?"
"She recently got out of a bad relationship, but her current boyfriend has no idea what girls should wear. We can drag Akitsu into this as well. I can take care of the jackass if you can keep her from getting...ideas...about our relationship. Or I can help you be in two places at once."
"What's your plan for him?"
Harry smirked, before making a "V" with his fingers. Between them a loud crackle of electricity could be heard.
"Hello human taser. I can't get as high as a real one yet, but it's painful enough that he'll think twice," said Harry.
Takami's smirk was more than a little vicious. Then again she had plenty of experience with Karasuba, so odds were she was copying the psychotic Sekirei.
"By all means, use him as a test dummy while I spend some much needed time with my daughter."
"Remember, keep her far, far away from anything concerning S and M. Akitsu has a fetish for that crap and I refuse to deal with disposing with whatever your daughter finds in such stores."
"Mom! Who are your friends?"
"This is Yashima and Akitsu. Yashima's last boyfriend was a bit of a bastard, so be gentle with her. It took forever for her current one to help her with the flinching problem."
"Very limited social interaction. She needs to get out more," said Takami flatly.
She already knew that Kazehana and Haihane were discreetly following them, and that Harry had given them orders to protect and defend Yukari from any idiots who thought she was Yashima and Akitsu's Ashikabi.
She was already known to be the one in charge of recovery, and she didn't have whatever it was that determined Ashikabi.
"So what are we doing today?"
"I managed to get a rare day off, and I have an unlimited credit card. I have absolutely nothing to do today besides taking my daughter and two of my younger coworkers on a much needed shopping trip."
"Really?!" said Yukari excitedly. Her mother almost never had a day off. Besides, shopping.
"Yashima's boyfriend said he doesn't mind if you convert her to an anime addict, so long as you reign in some of the more...bizarre... ones. Akitsu doesn't need the ideas."
Yukari perked up at that.
Today was going to be the best day ever!
Minaka considered this the worst day ever. Takami had delegated the task of keeping him in line to his currently least favorite cousin. And wouldn't you know it, the bastard had been learning how to use a basic spell for children to shock each other, and he took great delight in overpowering it.
On the plus side, he had the fun, fun time of watching his board of directors piss themselves whenever Karasuba's boredom level got high enough.
Thanks to the fact Harry was the actual owner now, the company had only grown to the point it was seriously about to fold that idiot Higa's company in.
And since he had some Ashikabi on staff, he knew about the Sekirei. And it was only because Harry had been extra diligent in preventing "fake" Ashikabi from entering the game that his main rival hadn't become part of that number.
What pissed him off was the fact Harry took positive delight in using him as a human guinea pig for testing out the variations in voltage whenever he got off topic or did something outrageously stupid.
"Now, for the eventual takeover of the Higa Corporation..." said one of the sleazier directors.
When Harry came out of hiding, he was firing the lot of them and hiring competent people who didn't have an agenda like filling their pockets or stabbing each other in the back.
"Remind me again why I had to be here?" said Karasuba, taking out her sword and checking it for nonexistent damage.
"If I have to suffer, you have to suffer. And nothing says cut the crap and get to the point like someone who would happily commit mass murder just to get out of a boring meeting," said Harry cheerfully.
"...I'm going to suffer through a lot more of these in the future aren't I?" she asked.
"Yes, but you'll have full permission to make them all blubbering messes crying for their mothers just because they can't take a little killing intent. Countries were created through blood, sweat and death. If they can't handle you, how are they supposed to handle people trying to pull the wool over our eyes?" said Harry smiling, his fingers cracking with electricity.
That explanation made her happy. If she was allowed to be terrifying and set on people who tried something stupid, like steal from the company, then she could live with having to be bored.
"Didn't I give you a tablet at the start of the meeting anyway? Play Mortal Combat or something equally graphic and enjoy the cursing of idiots from around the world," said Harry.
The sounds of people dying in horrifically graphic ways could be heard from where Karasuba was. However the board was no longer a mess and were able to deliver their reports without looking like idiots.