A/N: Yeah, yeah. I know. Plot bunnies and new story. Neglecting my other ones. Same old problem. Anyway, since I have so many, I'm offering up adoptions to anyone interested. If you wanna adopt, awesome. Anyway, this story is in fact, influenced by the Negima series, but I am uncertain if I shall be including any Negima characters. If I do, then the most likely candidates will be Evangeline AK McDowell, Kaede, and Zazie Rainyday. Thank you very much. And please check my profile for my petition.
This one is for my friend Bramha god. And my girlfriends Kape and Bum Bums.
Chapter one: First class.
In Konoha, some time after the Wave mission has passed by. Naruto became unable to handle the unstable team dynamics and the negligent teachings of Kakashi. He decided to take matters into his own hands and appealed directly to the Hokage himself.
Naruto explained in explicit detail the happenings and circumstances of Team 7. And also added that Kakashi hasn't taught them any relevant jutsu and only taught them Tree Walking during the course of the Wave Mission AFTER they had their first encounter with Zabuza.
"Mmm. These are grave accusations Naruto-kun. Damning even. A Jonin Sensei not doing his job in teaching or nurturing the teams bonds is a disaster waiting to happen. I… learned this myself firsthand." Spoke the Sandaime in a grave tone.
The blonde nodded and spoke in an unsure tone "Erm, yeah. I wouldn't wanna bother you or anything but… I get the itching feeling that if something isn't done about this then it could go from bad to worse. Someone might even get killed if this isn't fixed."
The Hokage nodded stiffly and replied "Understood. Rest assured, I shall investigate these charges immediately. Though this will also cause the team to be put on probation and unable to work… but since you yourself brought the charges to my attention, I shall give you a solo B-rank mission."
The blonde sputtered in surprise "A B-rank?! I know I just did a C-rank turned A-rank but I'm not even close to being ready for a solo B-rank."
The aged Hokage took a drag from his pipe and spoke "I see that your time in Wave has caused you to mature significantly. Rest assured, this mission isn't dangerous at all. This year, the Chunin exams have been canceled in the wake of Konoha being chosen to hold Class D."
The whiskered teen raised an eyebrow and ask out of curiosity "Class D? What's that? And what does that have to do with me?"
The Sandaime rubbed his temples and began to explain "Class D is essentially a Kunoichi exchange program. The Yondaime came up with the idea some years ago during his tragically short reign. Simply put, every Four years, a different village hosts Class D for Kunoichi to learn, train and peacefully interact with each other. The program had been surprisingly successful. But… teachers tend to quit very quickly. Hence why we're looking for one. I believe being a teacher for these young ladies will be good for you. And perhaps them."
The blonde nodded in understanding and replied "Well, if it gets me away from my Team. I'll take it."
The Sandaime rubbed his palms together and handed the blonde boy a folder with this seasons class. Containing pictures, names, ranks and village of origin.
Seat one: Anko Mitarashi. (Tokubetsu Jonin of Konoha.)
Seat two: Kurenai Yuhi. (Jonin of Konoha.)
Seat three: Hana Inuzuka. (Chunin of Konoha.)
Seat four: Neko. (Name withheld for security reasons. Anbu of Konoha.)
Seat five: Natsuhi. (Jonin of Star village.)
Seat six: Kuroko Koumori. (Jonin of Kiri.)
Seat seven: Fuu. (Genin of Taki.)
Seat eight: Samui Nii. (Chunin of Kumo.)
Seat nine: Yugito Nii. (Jonin of Kumo.)
Seat ten: Karui. (Chunin of Kumo.)
Seat eleven: Temari: (Genin of Suna. Daughter of Kazekage.)
Seat twelve: Kurotsuchi. (Chunin of Iwa. Granddaughter of Tsuchikage.)
Seat thirteen. Tayuya. (Tokubetsu Jonin of Oto.)
Seat fourteen: Kin Tsuchi. (Genin of Oto.)
Seat fifteen: Karin. (Genin of Kusa.)
Seat sixteen: Ryuzetsu. (Tokubetsu Jonin of Kusa.)
Seat seventeen: Konan. (Jonin of Ame.)
Seat eighteen: Ameyuri Ringo. (Seven swordsman of Kiri.)
Naruto stared down at the pictures and names. There were other seats that had yet to be filled... but that was the least of his worries.
"YOU WANT ME TO TEACH A CLASS WITH EIGHTEEN OR MORE KUNOICHI, MOST OF WHICH WILL HOLD SENIORITY OF ME?! HOW THE HELL AM I, A GENIN SUPPOSED TO TEACH A BUNCH OF JONIN?!" screamed the blonde in apparent shock.
The Sandaime took a drag from his pipe and spoke in a somewhat mocking tone "Like I said, I think this will be good for both you and them."
The blonde hanged his head and could do not much else but accept defeat. And possibly plan some good old fashioned revenge on the Sandaime.
The next day.
"Never thought I'd be back here again." Mumbled Naruto in disdain. Many memories of his time at the Academy being on a sour note. But he perked up at the fact he'd be a teacher instead. This enthusiasm was quickly replaced by a sense of dread at both the strong possibility of his inability to teach, and the fact his class may not even listen to him.
He sighed and entered his designated classroom. Class D. Inside he noticed that most of the Kunoichi were doing their own thing. Either chatting with one another or doing something of their own accord. He saw Neko cleaning her katana, and he saw the woman called Konan reading from a book. He also took note that Ameyuri Ringo appeared to he missing.
He cleared his throat loudly, gaining the Kunoichi's attention. He felt their eyes staring at him, which made him tug at his collar and speak "My name is Naruto Uzumaki! And… I will most likely be the WORST teacher you'll EVER have."
This awkward introduction earned some chuckling, followed by full blown laughter from some of the Kunoichi. "HAHAHA! Good one Gaki!" shouted Anko in approval while giving a thumbs up. Kurenai swatted the Snake Mistress with a rolled up magazine and spoke "Anko-chan. You shouldn't call our new Sensei 'gaki.'"
At this Hana raised an eyebrow and asked "So… you're not bothered at all that a fresh Genin is going to be our Sensei for this season?"
The red-eyed woman coughed into her hand and replied "I admit that this is a tad absurd. But… I don't think Hokage-sama would assign someone without SOME form of merit. Perhaps this is as much a test for us as it is for Naruto-san."
They nodded at this, while in the background the Akatsuki member glanced at the blonde and thought 'Zetsu's information was correct about the Nibi and Nanabi Jinchuuriki being here. But the Kyuubi as well? This could be an excellent opportunity. Though I must admit… this is the strangest mission I have EVER done.'
The blonde looked over the class Schedule he received. Surprisingly and for some reason… it was largely Civilian oriented. Perhaps this was meant to prepare them for retirement? He hadn't heard of any Ninja's successfully retiring so this might serve a different function all together.
The first on his list was… Chemistry.
"Okay then. Our first lesson… shall be Chemistry. I'll warn you right now… I know NOTHING about Chemistry so, put on whatever protective gear you have and stand WAY back." He spoke in the best 'Lecture' tone he could manage. The various Kunoichi took his advice and put on latex gloves, lab coats, and protective goggles, all standing at a safe distance.
"Ummm… is this okay?" asked an incredulous Temari.
Next to her, the Iwa Kunoichi shrugged and spoke "Hell if I know. But let's give the kid a chance. He seems to be trying. Look, he's at least trying to use a book for reference instead of randomly dumping chemicals."
The Suna Kunoichi looked again and saw the whiskered teen mumbling to himself as he read out of a book. He took the designated chemicals, as per the instructions told, and carefully poured them to the exact amount. When he was finished the concoction began bubbling, the Kunoichi stood by, wondering what it was about to do then…. (Poof.) A pathetic puff of smoke emerged from the mixture.
The class stood in apparent silence. "That was… underwhelming." Spoke Ryuzetsu while coughing into her hand. This was immediately followed by the laughter of Tayuya. She approached the concoction and shouted between laughing "THAT'S ALL? A SINGLE PUFF OF SMOKE? DRYING PAINT IS MORE FUN TO WATCH THAN THAT SHIT YOU JUST MADE!"
Naruto scratched his head nervously and spoke to his class "I don't get it. I followed the instructions exactly and…" (KAAAABOOOOOM!) out of nowhere a loud explosion took place. Causing black smoke to fill the room and the windows to shatter.
The Kunoichi's ears rang from the explosion, all coughing from the smoke as it cleared out. Naruto peeled himself off of the chalkboard, the front half of his body covered in soot, and a silhouette of himself on the wall. "Wow. What a bang." Commented Naruto while rubbing soot off of his face.
Tayuya got up from where she fell from the force of the explosion. She shook her head and mumbled "ohhhhhh. I feel like I got hit by a fucking elephant." Her friend Kin came to help her up and used the sleeve of her coat to rub off the black soot on the redheads face. She paused then broke into a grin and started giggling. She tried to stifle her laughter but failed quite badly.
Other Kunoichi leaned in to see what was so funny… and they too began to laugh. "What? What're you fucking laughing at dipshits?" asked the flute user with a scowl.
Karui snickered and snorted a little before answering "Your… eyebrows (snort) are gone! Burnt off!"
"WHAAAAAAT?!" screamed the enraged Oto Kunoichi, she rolled up her sleeve and attempted to pummel the new teacher, she was held back by Fuu who was freely giggling away at the loss of Tayuya's eyebrows.
The blonde Jinchuuriki chuckled as he spoke "We'll skip math so you can wash up then we'll skip to PE." The Kunoichi nodded in appreciation for that and left to wash off the dirt and grime from the explosion, though in Tayuya's case she had to be dragged off.
The blonde scratched his chin and couldn't help but wonder why they all signed up for Class D. He couldn't shrug off the feeling that they all had some type of reason. He shrugged and went to the Men's washroom to wash the soot off and change into a crimson jumpsuit that PE teachers wore. When he exited outside he gulped at the Kunoichi's all wearing matching gym uniforms of white T-shirts and red shorts. Some of them also wore white and red striped sweatbands.
He blushed at the sight of them stretching and could feel his blood flow to a certain place. "Hey Gaki-sensei. Watching some hot ladies stretch? Heh. You the type that likes Older women? I heard Natsuhi is a MILF." Teased Anko while poking the blonde's whiskered cheek.
A tic-mark pulsed on his forehead and he immediately blew his whistle at the Snake user. "ANKO MITARASHI! DROP DOWN AND GIVE ME 50 PUSH-UPS!" at the force of his authoritative voice, the Kunoichi yelped 'Hai Sensei!' and dropped to the ground using her arms to push herself off the ground.
The three Kunoichi that knew Anko best all jaw-dropped at the sight. "Did he just…?" asked Neko. Her mask now ajar.
"Yes… he did." Confirmed Kurenai as she rubbed her eyes, wondering if what she saw was for real.
"THE REST OF YOU! START DOING LAPS! WORK THEM LEGS! I WANT MOVEMENT!" yelled Naruto as he blew his whistle again, prompting the Kunoichi to start jogging.
"Is it just me, or does Sensei seem to be getting more into his role?" asked Kin as she jogged alongside Samui.
The Busty blondes jugs bounced up and down as she jogged and replied cooly "Being a PE teacher isn't that hard. You blow your whistle and shout at your students to exercise. Still… I think he's a pretty cool guy. I was skeptical at first to be honest but… I kind of like him. That explosion was pretty cool."
As she jogged Samui was beginning to loose her breath. The throbbing pain in her shpulders was starting to get to her. Naruto took note of this and blew his whistle to get their attention "SAMUI! YOU OKAY THERE?!" he shouted in concern.
The Kumo Kunoichi huffed and puffed, raising a hand she replied "Sorry Sensei. My breasts sometimes make it hard for me to run and it makes my shoulders ache like crazy. I know it isn't cool but I'll be fine in a minute."
The other Kunoichi jogged in place, their eyes reading the whiskered teen, as if they were testing him. Wondering how he'd handle this. The Genin teacher frowned slightly and spoke "Why the hell didn't you tell me earlier? If you had something to say I would have listened."
The sound of shattering glass filled Samui's head. She stood stunned by her felloe blonde's response. "You… would have?" she asked him while rubbing her shoulders.
He nodded and replied "As your sensei it is my job to help you. But I can't do that of you don't talk to me. If you have some kind of problem then I'll do my best to help. If you'd told me that long periods of running was an issue I'd have made you do something else."
She gave a small smile and bowed to him "I apologize for not telling you. It wasn't cool. I'll be sure to talk to you if I have a problem." She spoke, her tone carrying growing respect for the new teacher.
He smiled and nodded replying "I'd appreciate that. Anyway, take five then hit the weights. Think you can do that?" she gave him a nod and sat on a bench to drink a bit of water and rest her aching shoulders.
"THE REST OF YOU! GET MOVING! ANKO! I SEE YOU! YOU CAN'T STOP MIDWAY!" He shouted in his 'Teacher voice' they all yelled in affirmative and began jogging once again. After several more exercises Naruto allowed them to cool off in the swimming pool.
They all changed into matching One-piece bathing suits the Academy provided while Naruto wore a pair of swim trunks. He say in the lifeguard seat and observed the ladies swimming about, sitting on the sides of the pool, and even soaking in some sun on the various chairs.
Kuroko stood by, giggling perversely at all the women in bathing suits. Naruto took notice of this and asked her "Hey. What you staring at them for? You a Lesbian?"
The black haired woman smirked, her pale face making the dark circles under her eyes more pronounced as she replied "That's right bouya. That a problem?"
From her tone he could tell there was some venom. He only gave a smile and replied in a jovial tone "Nah. No problem. If you're into that then that's your business. Though… keep your hands to yourself during school hours."
She laughed heartily and replied to the Genin teacher "You're all right Bouya-kun! No problem. Wouldn't wanna serve detention. Fufufu." She giggled and swan dived into the pool.
Naruto chuckled as he watched Anko randomly splashing the ladies , then took note that Konan was sitting by herself, scribbling into a notebook. He climbed down and approached her. She noticed him approach and she snapped the notebook shut. She cleared her throat and turned to address him "Yes Naruto-sensei? Is there something I can do for you?" she asked in a professional tone.
"Don't you wanna jump in and join the others? You seem kind of lonely there by yourself." He asked, somewhat worried about her. For some reason, he could feel that… deep down… Konan was a very sad person.
She shook her head and replied to him in a aloof manner "No. I'm fine Sensei. I'm not the type for fun and games. I would prefer to simply watch." He hmmed to himself, he could tell she wasn't lying… but he also felt she was deliberately holding herself back.
He smiled and said "Don't care. I don't want you sitting here by yourself. You are getting in that pool and having a good time!" with all the strength he could muster, he yanked her by the arm out of her chair and then tossed her into the water, splashing Karin and Ryuzetsu, making the former giggle loudly.
The blue-haired Kunoichi emerged from the water and spit out a stream of water. She glared at the blonde boy then grabbed him by the ankle and dragged him into the water "Take this!" she yelled as she pulled him in.
"GET HIM!" yelled Kin as she splashed the blonde when he came out of the water. "SAVE ME!" cried out the blonde in mock terror. All at once, it became split between the Kunoichi meant to "protect' their Sensei, and the ones who wanted to 'drown' him. All at once the stoic and aloof barriers Konan set around herself all melted away, she smiled and laughed as she swam about, seeking revenge against her Sensei.
Eventually the fun and games came to an end as the blonde teacher called for them to head back inside so that they may finish up the day's lessons.
They piled inside the ladies changing area and began to converse with one another, Karin giggled perversely since she sensed their new teachers Chakra levels and they were ENORMOUS! "Hey! Natsuhi-san! What did you think of sensei?" asked the spectacled girl.
The purple haired Kunoichi adjusted her headband and replied "At first I thought this was some kind of joke… but then I saw how hard he was trying. He's even tried to make sure we enjoy ourselves. I… I kind of like him. He's also kind of cute."
"I know right? Those whiskers remind me of a puppy!" yelled Hana in amusement.
Kurenai smirked and spoke while slipping on her dress "Indeed. I think this will be amusing to say the least." In the back of the changing room the three Kumo Kunoichi were whispering to each other.
"You sure Yugito-san?" asked Karui with a raised eyebrow. The feline blonde nodded her head in response.
"So it's true. He is indeed a Jinchuuriki. This… changes things." Spoke Samui while biting her lip.
Yugito cried anime tears and spoke as though she took a bite of a bitter and unripe apple "I know! But… can we hold off? I… he's just a kid! Maybe we could convince him to join us?"
The busty blonde rubbed her chin and replied "That would solve a lot of problems in the long run. Okay then. It is cool. We'll do this the slow and patient way."
On the other side of the changing room Kurotsuchi frowned as she thought 'I know that kid looks familiar. He looks just like the Yondaime. But… he never married. An illegitimate child? I can't be sure. I don't wanna tell Jiji anything without proof. Besides… Naruto-san seems like a nice kid. I should look into this more carefully'
Finally, Kin and Tayuya were whispering amongst themselves "Still no sign of that Uchiha boy?" asked Kin as she attached the ribbon to her hair.
The redhead was busy drawing on eyebrows as she replied "Fuck no. I don't know why that bastard Kabuto thought it would be a good idea for us to be part of this class. We can only look for this Sasuke brat during our off hours. And we gotta take these shitty classes."
The black haired Kunoichi giggled and replied "You're only upset because your eyebrows got singed off. I like it here and it's only the first day!" the redhead's only response is to flip her partner the bird.
Outside Naruto knocked on the door and announced "Class is in five! If you aren't in your seats by then I'm taking points off your test scores!"
At this the Kunoichi's all exclaimed in unison 'Hai Sensei!' the whiskered teen shook his head. This was actually going to be an enjoyable job for him. He noticed that if he gave some respect, then he'd get some back. It felt… good. To be treated with respect as a person and a teacher.
Later that day.
"That shall be all for today ladies. Turn in your calligraphy on my desk. Tomorrow we shall start the day with home ec, so bring your aprons." The blonde announced making his students shput 'Hai Sensei!' one by one they turned in their work. Naruto noticed that the calm and stoic ones like Samui, Konan, and so forth had elegant and graceful calligraphy. But Anko, Tayuya and the like were much rougher.
He smiled as he began grading their work, but then noticed that Konan stayed behind. "Something I can help you with Konan-san?"
She shook her head and replied "No sensei. I… just wanted to thank you. For what you did for me at the pool. It… was fun. I haven't had so much fun since I was a child."
The whiskered teen waved her off and replied to her "Think nothing of it. And since you were a child? What were you doing all that time? Busy with your career as a Kunoichi?"
At that she flinched as though she had been stabbed through the chest. Her stoic façade cracking as she spoke hesitantly "Erm… I… I don't want to talk about it. Please excuse me." With that she bowed and nearly bounded out the door in a hurry.
"Was it something I said?" Naruto asked himself worriedly. Hoping he hadn't said something to upset her.
"YOU DID WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!" screamed Iruka Umino at the top of his lungs. The Sandaime's ears rang from the usage of the Chunin's Big Head Jutsu.
The aged Hokage coughed slightly replying in a professional manner "You heard me right. I assigned Naruto-kun as Class D's sensei. Neko-san shall soon report on his performance."
The scarred Chunin crossed his arms and spoke "Starting an investigation into Kakashi's lax training I can understand. If word reaches Konoha's clients about untrained Genin, it could call into question our credibility for mission success. But I don't understand why you thought it would be a GOOD idea to place Naruto in such a position! He doesn't know the first thing about responsibility or teaching!"
The aged Hokage clasped his hands behind his back as he stood up and replied dismissively "Perhaps because he hasn't yet been given a fair chance. I think this would be good for his growth as both a Shinobi and, perhaps more importantly… as a person."
Iruka was about to protest further but one Neko appeared in a swirl of leaves. "Neko reporting Hokage-sama." She spoke in a professional manner.
The Hokage nodded to her and asked for her report. She nodded and began to speak "When Naruto-san first arrived he seemed nervous and unsure of himself. Perhaps intimidated by the number of higher ranked Kunoichi and his own inexperience. When he first began with Chemistry, he consulted a book for instructions before proceeding. Then… well… the concoction exploded and burned off the eyebrows of fellow student Tayuya…. It was most amusing. Then during Physical Education, Anko teased him about being (ahem) aroused by the students as they stretched. This… inadvertently caused Naruto to go into a, for lack of a better term, 'Teacher mode' and he almost immediately commanded Anko to perform pushups. Then we began jogging.
Samui was unable to keep up due to her back aching from her… well developed bust. Naruto-san stopped her when he saw her pain, and quite professionally resolved the issue and assigned her to a different exercise. Then we were allowed to swim and cool off in the pool. Naruto-san took notice of Konan not wanting to participate. He then… encouraged her by tossing her into the pool. Afterwards it became a water war. We all had a good time. The remaining classes went without incident.
It is my professional and personal opinion that Naruto Uzumaki remains as Class D's sensei. He is quite willing to learn how to be a teacher, has proven himself competent, respectful, and caring and he has a way with worming his way into the ladies hearts. That is all."
The Sandaime nodded with a large grin and spoke in a tone of authority "Agreed. Naruto shall remain as Class D's teacher. Keep me updated on further developments."
She nodded and vanished in a swirl of leaves. "Hokage-sama! You can't just do that! A Genin teaching a class with numerous Jonin? That is both bizarre and highly inappropriate!"
The aged Hokage once again waved the Chunin off and spoke while taking a drag from his pipe "Iruka…. I think you might be pleasantly surprised by what the younger generation can teach us. Sometimes we learn things from them we ourselves never bothered to learn… or just never noticed."
Iruka huffed angrily and stormed out of the classroom. One way or another… he was going to fix this.
End chapter one.
Next time: Naruto has come to accept and become comfortable in his new position and he finds friends amongst his own students. But others seek to either sabotage him… or take his position for themselves.