Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2. If I did I wouldn't write fanfics, I'd be making the real thing. But I'm not, cause I don't, did you get that? I don't own Tenchi Muyo, Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball Z, Inuyasha(SP? Like I care) Gundam Wing or Harry Potter either.

Grimm: Yeah. Hi everybody!
Crowd: Yay!
Grimm: Forewarning, this fic is Ry/Na, but it aint all bad.
Crowd: (crickets chirp)
Grimm: . . . never mind.
Guy in Crowd: God dictates Akane and Ranma!
Woman in crowd: To hell with Ranma, Shampoo and Akane! Girl power!
Another guy: Let's see a six-some! Ranma, Shampoo, Ukyo, Akane, Kasumi and chick Ranma!
Grimm: Leave my Kasumi out of that! Oh just SHUT UP!
Crowd: (crickets chirp)
Grimm shoots the cricket.
Grimm: Now, if you don't mind, lets begin.

CHAPTER I (REVISED)
No Need for a Stupid Title

Tenchi was minding his own business in the carrot garden, hoeing and that sort of thing. Basically doing . . . nothing important. Suddenly he was surprised to see a young man walk up to him. This young man had a large backpack, with an umbrella. He wore a yellow and black bandana and a dull yellow shirt with worn green pants.
"Hello, I'm looking for the Tendo Dojo, do you know where I can find it?" He asked.
Tenchi growled and leveled the hoe on the young man. "So! You're one of those Ranma jerks! Well I got news for you, you're in the wrong show!"
"Oh, sorry." The young man said with a shrug.
"Beat it! Before I sick my six pack on you!" Tenchi cried.
"Six pack?"
"My six women!"
"Yeah, okay." The invader said. He turned and started walking away, Techni threw carrots at him. "America is MY domain! Don't you dare come back!" He cried. "You Ranma jerks may be big in Japan but your time has come and gone! It's my world now! Tenchi is the future!"
"Tenchi, what are you doing?" Ryouko demanded, Tenchi turned and grinned.
"Eh . . . This guy from Ranma One Half just showed up and stole our carrots!"
"WHAT!" Sasami cried. "Stole OUR carrots? I need those to cook!"
"I need them for my experiments!" Washu cried.
"I need them for my Bugs Bunny impressions." Mihoshi cried.
"That Cabit thing needs them for food!" Kiyone added.
"Meow!" Ryoohki agreed.
"And I need them for . . . eh . . . well I can't actually tell you what I use them for, this story is rated PG-13." Aeka said.
"Then eh . . . let's go get revenge!" Tenchi cried.

Some Time later, at the Tendo Training Hall . . .

"Oh! Hi Ryoga! What's that you have there? Carrots? Sensu beans? Oh no, you got lost again didn't you?" Kasumi asked.
"Yes." Ryoga said. "Uh, I don't mean to be rude, but is-"
"Yes, Ranma is here." Kasumi said cheerfully. Before Ryoga could correct her, she cried out "Ranma! Your little friend, Ryoga is here to play!"
Ranma came reluctantly towards the door. "What do you want Ryoga? Come to fight me again?"
"No, I came here to see Akane." Ryoga said indignantly. "I can always settle my feud with you, after I give Akane my many traveling presents."
"I'm so glad you found an up-side to your disability Ryoga. I'll make a stew with these carrots, thank you!" Kasumi said, again cheerfully.
"What exactly have you got for her anyway?" Ranma asked. "Anything good? Lemme see."
"Hey!" Ryoga cried as Ranma snatched his gift and inspected it.
"What the . . . you stumbled into that Inuyasha show, didn't you?" Ranma asked, holding up a small jewel shard.
"So what if I did?" Ryoga asked. "I'm sure Akane will love it! With this I can win her heart at last!"
"Win whose heart?" Akane asked.
Ryoga was lost for words, so naturally Ranma took up the slack. "Oh, Ryoga was just talking about how this stupid jewel piece will win him your eternal-" Ranma was cut off when Ryoga elbowed him in the chest.
"He's talking nonsense. But eh . . . if you want it, I'll give it to you, I mean, I don't need it." Ryoga said. He decided he sounded very cool, yes he'd definitely covered the tracks Ranma had made for him, now Akane would never know how he felt! Wait . . . wait that's not how it's supposed to be!
"Uh . . . gee, thanks Ryoga. I mean . . . I'll find some use for it, you're so . . . uh . . . kind." Akane said in a friendly, yet slightly uninterested manner.
"You could have at least had it turned into a necklace." Nabiki said from some unseen area of the house. Ryoga was still waiting outside, so he couldn't see Nabiki, nor could he see where Kasumi had gone. "Or a bracelet. Honestly, what is she supposed to do with that thing?"
"Do you want it?" Ryoga and Akane demanded together, though Akane sounded more like she was offering it, Ryoga was being sarcastic.
Nabiki appeared out of nowhere and inspected the jewel. "It's worthless. But I'll take it." She said.
"Okay, here." Akane said. "Hey, Ranma lets go play in my room!" Akane and Ranma ran off. Ryoga was left standing in the doorway with his jaw on the floor.
"Are you still here?" Nabiki asked. "Well I guess you can come in, but it'll be a few minutes before Akane and Ranma are done "playing" up there. Akane just got a new pair of handcuffs she's wanted to try out on Ranma. You might as well take a seat."
Ryoga sat down and waited for Akane and Ranma to finish playing. What were they playing anyway? The couldn't possibly spar in Akane's room, and they certainly couldn't play ball. Ryoga had been gone for several episodes, but he was sure Akane had had no playground equipment installed in her room.
Oh well, they'd be finished soon, then he could spend more time with Akane!
Several minutes passed. Then a half-hour. Then an hour. Eventually Ryoga found himself lying on the floor reading a magazine Nabiki had let him borrow.
"Dinner is almost ready!" Kasumi said from the kitchen. "Oh, Ryoga you will stay for dinner wont you?"
"Uh, I dunno." Ryoga said. He was getting sort of bored. Though he WAS amazed at how hot Goku looked in GT---aahhh! "It's getting late, I should be going."
"You WILL stay for dinner!" Kasumi said. "I'm cooking the carrots you brought, it'll be great! And when father and Mr. Saotome get back we can eat!"
"Carrots?" Nabiki asked. "You stumbled into Tenchi-Territory, didn't you Ryoga?"
"I can't remember." Ryoga said honestly. "Though I do know that some guy with a pony tail was throwing them at me and saying something about his six pack."
"Tenchi-territory." Nabiki sighed. "Gosh, don't you have a compass or something?"
"Uh, yes." Ryoga said. He decided to change the subject, "Hey, look at this! Isn't that Heero Yuy just to DIE for?"
Nabiki gave him a strange look, then went back to her own magazine.
Ryoga was getting extremely bored now, he was desperate. He had to do something. He jumped up and said, "I know!" He'd turn into P-Chan and see what Akane was doing, sure it was spying, but he was bored as a dog!
"You know?" Kasumi asked.
"Know what?" Nabiki sighed, then added "Never mind, I don't care."
"I'll just be a minute." Ryoga said. "I have to use the restroom, please excuse me."
"Be back in time for dinner." Kasumi said.
"Don't worry!" Ryoga said, running off in the wrong direction and ending up in the closet.

Several hours later . . .
Akane and Ranma finally finished their game of Monopoly and came to eat dinner, unfortunately Ryoga wasn't around. Nabiki didn't particularly care that Ryoga wasn't around, she barely noticed when he was. However she was slightly concerned that in his stupidity he'd stumble upon her secret "cash stash" where she kept some yen, just in case she needed to look at it and glow.
"If I weren't so tight for money, I'd buy that boy a real compass." Nabiki mumbled to herself.
"Didn't he say he already has one?" Kasumi asked.
"Tight for money!?" Ranma demanded. "You've gotta be kidding!"
"I avoid any scenario where I have to spend money or otherwise lose it." Nabiki said calmly. "Thus I am always tight for money."

Ryoga had gotten lost again.
"So you're saying your looking for the Tendo training hall? But I don't know where that is." Sailor Moon said. "And you're getting in the way of our fight with that evil mutant monster!"
"Sorry." Ryoga sighed.
"Just leave-AAAHHHH!" Sailor Moon cried as the monster's tentacles grabbed her and the rest of the team. "Where is Tuxedo Mask when you need him?" She cried. "Hey, weird guy, help us!" But Ryoga was gone, and so Sailor Moon and the scouts were eaten, swearing revenge.

Three Days Later

Nabiki came into her room from the bath, closing the door behind her and locking it. She wore only a small blue towel (heh-heh) around her torso. She walked over to her closet, to get a pair of pajamas or something to wear. As she did, Ryoga fell out.
"Aaah!" Nabiki cried.
"Aaah!" Ryoga agreed.
"What are you doing here!?" Nabiki demanded.
"I was lost in this wilderness of snow and ice, then I met this faun, and we danced and played near a lamppost-"
"You're nuts!" Nabiki cried. "Get out of here!" She tried to push him towards the door, but in the effort her towel fell down.
Ryoga was frozen for a second or two, gazing at Nabiki's naked body in a state that is best described as shock. Nabiki waved her hands in front of his face, but the boy made no reaction.
"Honestly, you're just pathetic." She sighed. "Why can't you get lost in Ranma's closet?" She went back to the closet and grabbed a pair of pajamas. Nabiki dressed herself, then tried waving her hands in front of Ryoga again. She snapped her fingers, and finally Ryoga came out of his daze.
"Oh! Nabiki! Come quick! I have to show it to you!"
"What? The closet? I've seen it."
"No! The wilderness of snow and ice! Come!" Ryoga grabbed Nabiki's arm, and tried to jump out the window. Nabiki hit him on the back of the head and he fell to the ground unconscious.
"Get some rest, and in the morning, bother Ranma, not me." Nabiki instructed.

And the next morning Ryoga did indeed bother Ranma. And Akane. And even Kasumi, searching desperately for some one who'd believe his story about the wilderness. Kasumi bought it and said that she herself had been there on occasion until she turned eighteen and a big lion told her she was to old to come back anymore, but she could come back for the last and extremely boring battle and he'd contact her when that was about to go down because he needed a good cook. Nabiki had a headache just listening to them.
And gradually Ryoga got lost again. Only this time in his absence there was a knock on the door and there stood Tenchi with his stupid light saber and his bitch pride.
"We've come for the wondering boy who stole our carrots!" Tenchi announced.
"I see . . . too bad he isn't here. And he said you threw them at him."
"Tenchi!" Ryouko cried. "You said he attacked you and stole them!"
"Eh . . . well that's what happened, he must have LIED!"
"Ryoga is to stupid to tell a good lie." Nabiki commented. "Now get back to your own incest promoting show before I call the cops."
"Just because lord Tenchi and I are blood relatives, and just because we have sex like jack rabbits does not mean we promote incest!" Aeka snapped.
"Yes, you just practice it." Nabiki yawned. "Later days." She slammed the door in Tenchi's face.

"This is more serious than we thought." Aeka said. "They won't surrender their carrot thief!"
"I'm not entirely sure why we're bothering with them." Mihoshi interjected. "After all, our show is much more popular."
"Only in America!" Tenchi cried. "That's why we can't let these Ranma one half jerks push us around! I know what we'll do! We'll get Goku to beat him up for us!"
"Yay! No one beats Goku!" Sasami said happily. "Dragon Ball Z is even more popular than our own show!"

And so to King Kai's little moon plant thing, the gang sent Ryoohki (their cute little bunny rabbit thing) to find Goku!
Meanwhile Goku was standing on said planet thing talking to King Kai about his latest pupil.
"He just wondered here an episode or two ago, asking for directions to the Tendo training hall." King Kai said. "When I found out he was a martial artist I offered to train him if he could make me laugh!"
Goku smiled. "Wow! He looks really strong too!"
"Yes," King Kai agreed. "But he isn't funny at all. So I trained him wrong. As a joke. He's an idiot."
"Master Kai! I'm serious now, I need to go home and see my rival and his fiancée who is also my own love interest, and I need to sneak into her older sister's closet to save that nice Faun from the white witch!"
"He rambles on like that." King Kai said. "It's best to ignore him."
Goku nodded. Then Ryoohki leapt onto his shoulder.
"Oh! Hello little fellow!" Goku said happily.
"Meow! Meow meow!" 'Feed me!'
"What? Tenchi is trapped down a well?"
"Meow! Meow!" 'No! Feed me!'
"What? Tenchi and the gang are being harassed by the wondering boy from Ranma 1/2 and they need my help to beat him so he'll stop stealing their carrots?"
"MEOW!" 'Carrots? Where?'
"I'm off! Sorry I have to leave so soon King Kai!" Goku said.
"Why the heck did you come here in the first place?" Kai demanded, but Goku was gone.
"King Kai!" the wondering boy shouted. "What was that about?"
"Nothing." King Kai sighed. "Now, lets go over the Spirit Bomb again. Do you remember what to do?"
"I gather strength from all the living things around me right?"
"What? Heavens no!" King Kai said. "No, no, no! You extinguish your own life force and give to the animals and such around you!"
"Huh?"

It took Goku a while to figure out how to get out of the DBZ universe and into the Ranma universe. During which he gained quite a following, such as Harry Potter, Sailor Moon's ghost and a few other anime characters (Potter being an outcast since he was a book character)
By the time he arrived Ryoga had finished his training with King Kai (lost to Ranma and honestly believed himself the winner) and saved all of the magical lands in Nabiki's closet from various witches and warlocks trying to conquer.
Nabiki wasn't entirely sure why Ryoga was spending so much time in her closet, but for safety purposes she locked him in during the nights. His safety or hers she wasn't completely sure, the boy needed to be locked up in a nice place with padded walls.
It was on one such night that Goku and his small army arrived at the Tendo training hall, looking for Ryoga.
"We're here for the wondering boy who stole Tenchi's carrots!" Goku said.
"We've got torches!" Potter added. "We've formed a lynch mob and were not afraid to use it!"
"Ignore the German pip, no one likes him anyway." Sailor Moon cried.
"Actually I'm English!" Potter protested.
"Did the book person say something?" Sailor Moon's ghost asked.
"Listen up!" Nabiki shouted. "I am TRYING to sleep! Come back in the morning!"
"But we want to kill the carrot thief!" Goku whined. "I'm the hero! I gotta kill bad guys!"
"Ryoga isn't a bad guy!" Nabiki protested. "He's just . . . kinda stupid. Now be gone or I'll call your mothers!"
"My mom is dead!" Potter cried.
"Mine too!" Goku added.
"My mom is a penny-prostitute!" Sailor Moon added. Everyone stared at her. "What? She is!"
"More information than I needed, thank you Miss. Moon." Nabiki sighed. She threw a shoe out the window. "Now beat it!"
And so the crowd milled about for a few days before Ryoga finally found his way out of Nabiki's closet.
"I've had the greatest adventure!" he cried. "I was on this space ship and we went through a black hole and-"
"I'm happy for you. Now get out of my closet, and go fight those losers waiting outside our doorway." Nabiki told him.
"Yeah! We can't get to school anymore!" Akane cried. "We sent Ranma out there a second ago to clear the path but they all started throwing things at him and then he was trampled by them."

Outside
Ranma looked around the crowd. "T-Shirts! GET YER T-SHIRTS!" He cried. "Get yer very own 'I kicked Ryoga's ass' T-Shirt! Only two thousand yen, zeni, or woolongs a shirt! Special price of five hundred dollars for American pigs!"
"That's something I'd really expect from Nabiki." Ukyo observed as she passed by.
"It is something I really wanted to do." Nabiki admitted from her window. "Anyway, we're sending Ryoga out!" She announced. The mob began milling about, lighting their torches again so they could by a lynch mob (even though it was nowhere near as dramatic during the day time)
Ryoga came out and the mob . . . well they mobbed him, duh!
"You let me and my friends get eaten!" Sailor Moon cried.
"You stole Tenchi's carrots!" Goku cried.
"I have no reason to be angry at you, but I want to be part of the in-crowd!" Potter added.
"And worst of all, you came into my TV show!" Tenchi cried.
"But you're all on our TV show now." Ryoga noted.
Everyone paused. Then frowned.
"It's okay!" Ryoga said happily. "Because I know what we can do! We can all go and play in the big cold winter wasteland with that nice faun! Onward! To Nabiki's closet!"
Nabiki's famous last words before she was trampled near to death trying to block her door way "Admission two at a time! Two thousand yen per customer!"
She glared at Ryoga, who herded everyone into the closet.
How they all managed to fit was beyond her, when the last person-Tenchi-was in Ryoga slammed the door behind them and laughed maniacally. "Hah! Now I've saved the day!" He said.
"You put them in my closet!" Nabiki cried.
"But I saved the day." Ryoga said with a wink.
Nabiki struggled to her feet and tromped over to the closet, she opened the door and found it empty . . .

To Be Continued . . .

Nabiki: I'll kill you some day Grimm!
Grimm: Why?
Nabiki: That was STUPID!
Grimm: That was the point. It gets better though.
Nabiki: I hope so!
Ryoga: I'm not as stupid as you're making me either!
Grimm: Yes, yes I know. Don't worry this chapter is just random stupidness and foundation laying. It'll be much better written next time.
Nabiki: There won't BE a next time! Get him!
Ryoga, Ranma, Goku, Sailor Moon, Harry Potter and Tenchi all dog pile Grimm and beat the snot out of him.
Ranma: I got his wallet!
Ryoga: Credit card!
Nabiki: I'll take those-thank you! (Snatches them)
Goku: I got a blockbuster video membership card!
Tenchi: I got a gold watch!
Sailor Moon: I got a chunk of hair!
Potter: And THAT would be MINE! (Bleeds to death and . . . well . . . dies)