Koumyou Sanzou's Personal Organiser

Dear me. As Ukoku reminded me in his last letter, life is short (not to mention delusion) and one can never be sure when time may run out. I need to make sure that I discuss a few matters with Kouryou. Let me see . . .

1) Explain that my permanently placid demeanour, and my flow of wise profundities, come from my constant smoking of pot. Let him try a little. I have this terrible fear that if I don't introduce him to other methods of relaxation, he might become an alcoholic, which would be a great shame.

2) Give him the key to the cellar at the bottom of the temple which holds that huge flaming sword we found a while ago. The only other sacred weapon around the place is that tiny Exorcism Gun, and if I give him something like that to use, he'll probably have phallic insecurities in later life.

3) Tell him that I know all about him and Rikudou, and that they don't have to try to keep on hiding it any longer. Recommend a good brand of herbal tea for lonely nights.

4) Don't tell him that Rikudou came to me whimpering about sex-mad lazy-uke novices.

5) The Three Aspects tell me that two other children nearby have some sort of karmic links with Kouryou. I should probably make arrangements to have them introduced. Yes, I know that karma will sort itself out whatever I do, but it may avoid arguments in later life.

6) Explain to Kouryou that the term Sanzou actually means "heavenly uke" and that's where the Three Aspects bank account comes from.

7) Find that copy of the Celestial Inquirer from 500 years ago which I used to line my sandal-rack with. I'm fairly sure there was something important in it which I should mention to the boy.

8) Make Kouryou sweep temple path again. Those leaves get everywhere.

9) Lay in more supplies of orange paper. Some day I will create the perfect paper aeroplane.

10) Find out where I left my fan.

11) Explain the secrets of wearing a black leather top and gloves without sweating.

12) Tell him the Instant Sutra Recall formula. I do believe I am the only Sanzou who knows that one.

I think I'll have a little chat with the boy after I raise him to the rank of Sanzou. I imagine that he'll be lost for words. (Which will give me the chance to get a few in.) It may be a little much for him to get used to at once, but he really needs to know. And as Ukoku points out, one may be torn to pieces by rampaging youkai at any moment, so it's better to get this sort of thing done sooner rather than later. Tomorrow, perhaps.

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