Title: So I Die Happy
Summary: "Your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me, so I die happy?"
Genres: Angst and Romance
A lonely figure ran through the woods, except for the steady sound of his breathing as well as the sound of feet hitting the ground everything was silent. Not an animal was heard, and despite their recent loss no one was crying or mourning. And if they did, he wouldn't be able to hear.
Harry Potter was the one running; his breathing came out in short gasps, his heart pounded hard inside his chest at the beat of his own feet. It hadn't been hard to break up with Ginny, he thought to himself as he ran. He had thought that it would at least hurt a bit, but it hadn't. He had expected Ginny to cry, but she hadn't. And as he ran he somewhat waited for the pain and the hurt to all hit him at once, once he had truly understood that he had broken up with her. Once had fully understood that he had lost one of the biggest and most important parts of his life. But the pain never came, that realization that he had lost something great never came.
Tiny pearls of sweat ran down his forehead, over his scar which hadn't hurt this much in ages. He had seen his friends looking at him, pondering what they were supposed to say to him. None of them had yet to figure it out and Harry couldn't help but feel grateful that they had decided to give him his space. Because that was the one thing he needed. Space to think, space to talk to the one person he wished to speak to. Thoughts were running around in his head, a new thought for every step he took and most of them centred on him.
The young boy in his own age, with the silvery blond hair, those cold blue eyes which often looked at him with disgust. Never had Harry, in a million years, believed that behind those mirrors of disgust were something so much better. He had never believed that Draco Malfoy would mean anything to him, and yet he did.
Harry saw the cave towering up in front of him, the moon light shone straight into the way in. He kept his eyes locked on the cave, his smile only growing as he saw a boy walking out from the dark shadows of the cave. His eyes were red and puffy, from tears Harry supposed, and he was walking stiffly, with his arms wrapped around his torso as if he truly couldn't understand what had happened. He looked vulnerable; Harry frowned deeply and took the last of his energy as he increased his speed, allowing him to get there faster.
He stopped a few meters in front of Draco, whom now looked up at him with a smile on his face. Neither of the two boys said anything, for no one knew what they were supposed to say. Harry desperately wanted to wrap his own arms around Draco, to whisper in his ear that everything was going to be alright. But he didn't, instead he waited patiently for something to happen, something which he didn't have to initiate.
"I heard you broke up with Ginny," Draco stated stiffly, his voice quivering slightly as he looked at Harry.
For everyone else those blue eyes would have been unreadable, Harry on the other hand saw straight through them.
He nodded his head; he wasn't sure what he was supposed to say. Yes, he had broken up with Ginny. Yes he had told her that it was for her own good, and yes, in a way it was for Draco he had done it.
Draco's smile grew slightly, but Harry could still see the uncertainty in his eyes, his posture and the way he opened his mouth just to close it seconds later. Harry wanted to be able to tell him, everything that had just gone through his mind, and yet he knew that he didn't need to. Draco knew, he always knew.
"Why are we here?" he asked, and Harry shook his head, his breathing were now calmer but still came in short gasps. "We can't be together, I can't even kiss you."
"Why not," Harry asked calmly without any trace of emotion in his voice, he leaned onto a three, placing his arms across his chest as he watched Draco standing in the moonlight. His pale skin appeared even paler than it ever had before, and his blue eyes lighter than Harry had ever seen them be. "Not long ago you could, what's changed from that moment until now?"
"I'm not good for you," Draco stated, he looked down onto the ground before looking up at Harry again, this time he held his hands in a firm lock in front of him, he tilted his head slightly to the left, a weak crack being heard. "I'm poison, and that's why you and I can't be together. You and I would mean that one of us or both would die. If I kissed you, then I would kill you."
Harry scoffed and looked down on the ground, irritation were slowly building up in his chest, as well as the sorrow he had expected to feel about the break up with Ginny.
His eyes stung and he soon felt tears appear in them. He bit his lower lip, for a moment trying to keep the tears back, and when he was certain that he wouldn't break into tears he looked back at Draco. A sarcastic, mocking grin now appeared on his face.
"Then kill me," he said, causing Draco's eyes to widen in shock, he looked as if he was about to take a step forward, but stopped himself in the middle of the step, slowly putting his foot back on the ground again. Harry didn't give up; he looked at Draco with a face without any emotions as he continued. "If you and I can't be together then kiss me. That way I would die happy."
"Shut up," Draco whispered, a tear falling down his cheek as he watched Harry.
The raven-haired boy looked down on the ground, he felt shocked, and confused that he had actually meant everything he had just said. Never in a million years would he have ever considered dying if that meant he would get one last kiss from Ginny. But then again, this weren't Ginny, this was Draco, and the feelings he had for Draco were worlds apart from the ones he had for Ginny. Draco appeared shocked, and dazed at what had just happened, he looked at Harry, not truly able to understand what he had just said.
"If you ever say like that I will," Harry looked up at him, Draco had his fist clenched and the knuckles were slowly turning white and yet Draco didn't seem to notice. The only thing he could think about was what Harry had just told him. Those words had brought him more pain than any other thing he had ever been put through in his life. "You just can't say that, you will have a great future, I will have a great future. No one will know, and we will live, you will be alive."
"What a great future that will be," Harry stated sarcastically, he rolled his eyes before turning back to Draco whom were now leaning onto the cave wall. "Tell me oh wise one, what happy futures do you see for us. How do you ever see us being happy, if we are not together?"
Draco's face was emotionless as he began speaking.
"I see you being married to Ginny; once Voldemort is defeated you two will be back together again. And you will love her more than you have ever loved anyone, you will have children, and you will be happy." He slowly said, Harry sighed again, feeling disgusted for the future Draco had set out for him, if that was the future he was going to have then what was the point? "I will marry someone my father has chosen for me, we will have the normal one pureblood child, and our children will continue hating each other. No one will ever know what we shared together; all they will know is that the boy-who-lived finally got the girl he has always wanted. No one will know that there was a third person involved in the greatest love story of the century."
Harry let out a chuckle, one that made Draco whimper in pain. The laugh had sounded cold, cruel and almost desperate.
"If that is the future I have ahead of me then bring me death." Harry said, he raised his hands in the air and looked towards the sky, anger evident in his face and in every word he spoke. "Voldemort, here I am, unless you want me to kill myself then you better get here fast."
"Shut up," Draco repeated, this time he screamed, and Harry looked at him with tears now running down his cheeks.
Draco watched helplessly as the raven haired boy fell to the ground, his entire body shaking as he sobbed violently. He cried for the fact that he would never be able to be with the person he truly loved. He would be stuck in a loveless marriage to a woman who deserved so much more than he would ever be able to give her. He would live in pain, he would wonder and he would cry himself to sleep knowing that he could never be together with the one his heart would always desire.
"You don't get it do you? How hard this is for me?" Draco whispered, causing him to look up at the blond standing by the cave. "What do you think you dying would do to me? How am I supposed to go on living knowing that I caused your death?"
Harry felt the wrath build up inside of him again, and he looked at Draco with fury in his eyes.
"You just are," he screamed angrily at him, his hands shook as the thoughts in his head spun around and around, he tried to come up with what he was supposed to say, but no words worked, everything was too weak, no words could ever be strong enough to describe what the thought being without Draco made him feel. "I have given up everything for the wizard community; I have given up the right to a personal life, the right to just focus on me and me surviving this war. You have no idea how tiring that is, how much I just wanted it all to end."
Draco watched him, and Harry let out a deep sigh again as he looked down onto the ground. By habit he pulled his hand through his hair as he looked up again, his emerald green eyes filled with tears.
"And then you showed me something which I never understood before," he whispered silently. "That I could love someone as much as my father loved my mother. You showed me that I could have the life I wanted to. But what life would that be, without you? So here I am again, wishing that everything would just end. And if I would get one kiss, or at least hear that you loved me as badly as I love you, then I would die happy."
Draco didn't move or say anything, he kept quiet and watched as Harry's chest raised and sunk in a quick pace.
The so called boy who lived didn't say anything more, he had said everything he had so desperately wanted to get out of his chest. Draco knew what he felt; now there was nothing more he could do. The bitterness took over his heart and he turned around, he was ready to leave now.
But never in a million years would he ever be strong enough to say goodbye. To part without knowing if Draco would make it through the war that was before them. He would rather part, with Draco knowing exactly how he felt, instead of planting the thought of possibly never getting to see him again.
"I love you," Draco said, causing Harry to stop dead in his tracks, for a few moments no one said anything, until Harry threw a glance back at Draco, a sad smile on his face.
"I love you too." Those were the parting words of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter.
The lonely figure of Draco Malfoy went to go back to the other deatheaters, while as Harry Potter re-joined his friends as they mourned one of the greatest losses the school had ever suffered.
Both felt that they had lost something great, a big part of themselves with the other person. Their sorrow however didn't only go that far, they didn't only mourn that they were never given the chance to share that one last kiss. They mourned the fact that the world would never know their story. The world would never find out those two boys who were supposed to be enemies, felt more love for one another than they would ever do for anyone else.
Their love story would only be known by them.