Started and Finished: November 4, 2002

Last Episode Seen Before Writing: Redux

Pairing: Chlete (Chloe/Pete)

Rating: PG-13

Category: Humor

Spoilers: None

Summary: A play off of Grimm's fairy tale 'Repunzel.' Lionel is the enchanter, Chloe is the stranded maiden, and Pete is the prince who comes to rescue her. Story taken from:

Disclaimer: I do not own the story, or the characters. I am only manipulating them for my own amusement. I also do not know who first gave Lionel the name Magnificent Bastard, but it wasn't me.


Once there was a man and a woman by the names of Jonathan and Martha Kent. They had always hoped for a child, but their wish had never been granted.

Along the outskirts of the Kent's property was a tall fence made of stone. Not even the most daring of meteor infected freaks would dare scale the wall to the other side. For, on the other side of the wall lived an evil old man by the name of Lionel Luthor. His name was whispered in the dark alleys. It was whispered at night in the children's horror stories. The braver of the townspeople referred to him as the Magnificent Bastard, but the rest didn't dare to speak his name. The mere mention of the name Lionel struck fear into the hearts of every townsperson.

One day Martha was sitting at her window, looking at Lionel's beautiful garden. She got incredibly hungry when she saw his lush fruits and vegetables. She craved the vegetables for days on end until they were all she could think of.

"Martha, whatever is the matter?" Jonathan asked his wife, noticing her listless state.

"Oh, Jonathan. I long for the vegetables in 'that man's' garden. If I don't get some I shall die," Martha said, staring out the window.

Jonathan loved his wife very much, and wanted to fulfill all of her wants and needs. He was willing to risk his own life to save hers. At midnight Jonathan climbed the Magnificent Bastard's wall, snatched a handful of vegetables, and then clambered back over. As soon as he handed them to Martha she made a salad out of them and gobbled it down.

The next morning Martha's stomach grumbled so loud that children stopped in their games across town. "Oh, Jonathan. I must have more vegetables," Martha moaned, her hand rubbing her stomach.

Jonathan rolled his eyes. He loved his wife, but he was starting to have second thoughts. In order to please her he once again climbed the stone wall. He let out a high pitched scream when the Magnificent Bastard appeared before him.

The Magnificent Bastard broke into laughter. "You. You scream. You scream like a girl," he said in-between gasps.

Jonathan cocked an eyebrow at his black-cloaked foe.

"Oh, right. The evil thing," Lionel said, straightening himself, and clearing his throat. He raised an arm, pointing a finger at Jonathan, and deepening his voice menacingly. "How dare you steal from my garden? You shall be punished severely," his voice boomed.

"Please don't hurt me," Jonathan pleaded. "My wife saw your wonderful vegetables and she would have died if she didn't eat any."

"If that's true, I'll spare your life. You may eat from my garden as much as you please, but you must give me the first born of your wife. She shall be with child soon, and that child will be sworn to me."

In his fear Jonathan agreed. When Martha gave birth Lionel appeared by her side. "The child, whom I shall name Chloe, is mine," he said, snatching the infant and disappearing into the night.

Chloe grew into an exquisitely beautiful young girl. When she was fourteen Lionel locked her in a skyscraper, hidden deep in the heart of a giant city of the name, Metropolis. The building had no stairs, and no door. It's only entrance was a single window in the uppermost part.

When Lionel wanted into the tower he called, "Chloe, Chloe. Let down your hair, girl."

Chloe had gorgeous blond hair that she kept in a long braid. Since she was never allowed out of the skyscraper her golden locks had grown long. Long enough to reach the ground outside of the window. Chloe threw her braid out of the window.

"Ow!" Chloe said loudly, screaming over the noise of the passing traffic. "Don't pull so hard."

"Don't be rude," Lionel said, climbing her hair.

"Lose weight, you magnificent bastard and I wouldn't complain so much," Chloe answered haughtily.

"Shove it, girl," Lionel commanded.

Two more years passed when a wealthy CEO's son, by the name of Peter Ross, drove by in his vintage Ford convertible. He stopped when he heard a glorious sound. "What is that wonderful noise?" he asked out loud.

"You will not push me around, you evil man!"

"Watch your tongue."

"You watch it, you old foagie."

Pete looked up at the single window. "It sounds like the most sweet honey laced with barbed wire. I must find this voice," he said, searching the grounds for an entrance. When he couldn't find one he went sadly back to his home. Every day he went out, stood beneath the skyscraper, and listened to the voice of his love. One day he saw the Magnificent Bastard approach the building.

"Chloe, Chloe. Let down your hair, girl," he called. A moment later a long, soft braid fell from the window and the man began to climb.

"If that's how I must get to that voice, then that's the way I shall go," Pete said, going home to prepare for the next day.

The next night the boy approached the window. He reached into his bag, and pulled out a pair of gloves. If he was going to do that much climbing he didn't want to hurt his perfect skin.

"Chloe, Chloe. Let down your hair, girl," Pete called. He grinned when the braid fell at his feet. "Alright!"

When he had scaled the great building he climbed in the window.

"What do you want? You're not the Magnificent Bastard," Chloe said, sitting back down at her computer.

"I heard your voice and I couldn't bear not to see the beautiful face that belonged to it," Pete said, pulling her to her feet and spinning her around.

Chloe smiled at this handsome creature of the likes she'd never seen. Night after night the boy came to see her. Soon they became good friends. They talked of many things. From current events to jokes about the much-feared Magnificent Bastard. They laughed, they cried, but most of all they fell in love.

"Will you be my wife?" Pete asked one star-filled night.

"Yes," Chloe told him, her smile lighting up the room.

"We must flee. We have to go away from this place," Pete urged.

"But how? If you haven't noticed there's really no door," Chloe said as if it were obvious. "What do you plan on doing, since you're so clever?"

Pete adored her condescending tone. "We can cut your hair, and use it as a rope."

Chloe snatched her hair away from the boy. "Cut your own hair. This took me sixteen long years to grow. I can't bear to cut it."

Pete rolled his eyes. "Fine. Every night I will bring you a rope, until we have enough that it will reach the ground."

The Magnificent Bastard knew nothing of this until the next day.

"How come you're so heavy and the CEO's son is so light?" Chloe complained, not realizing she let her secret slip.

"You evil child. You are not to have contact with any of the world, for you are mine and mine alone." In anger he grabbed Chloe's braid and snipped it off at her neck. "I'll teach you to defy me, child."

The Magnificent Bastard whisked Chloe off to a small house in the town of Gotham. The girl lived in misery, day in and day out, without her love.

On the same day that Chloe was banished, the old man fastened the long braid to a hook in the window and waited.

"Chloe, Chloe. Let down your hair, girl," Pete called.

When the braid was thrown down Pete climbed with ease.

"You look for your love, but she isn't here," Lionel sneered. "I have banished her to a far off place where you will never again be together."

Pete was overtaken with pain. He ran and leapt from the window, falling to the ground below. By some miracle he was unhurt, but the glass he fell on pierced his eyes, rendering him blind. He wandered the city sightless. Scrounging and begging for food. He wandered for years before he heard a familiar sound.

"Clark! Lex! Eat your vegetables or you'll be short for the rest of your life," a voice commanded.

"I know that voice," Pete said to himself. "Darling, is that you?"

"Pete?" the voice called. Suddenly he was in a warm embrace. "I thought I'd never see you again."

Pete held onto Chloe for fear that if he let go he would lose her again.

Chloe began to cry. "I missed you so much." Her tears fell on his eyes and as suddenly as he was rendered sightless he gained his sight back.

"I can see," he said, rubbing his eyes.

"Pete, these are our children," Chloe said, gesturing to the two boys who came out of the house.

"Twin boys," Pete said with a smile.

"The tall one is Clark, and the other is Lex," Chloe said.

"He's bald," Pete whispered.

Chloe reached over and touched her son's head. "I know. It's so soft."

Pete shrugged, pulling his newfound family into his arms.