Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Wish I did. But I don't. On with the story.

How To Find A Phoenix

Harry Potter's sixth year at Hogwarts had already had its fair share of odd moments. Today's lunch was another one.

The discussion had started when Ron had flippantly thrown out a comment in one of Slughorn's theory classes, where they were being taught how to properly use the extremely expensive phoenix tears in healing potions.

"Bet the tears aren't as expensive to them, what with the school having its own phoenix eh?"

"He's not the school's Ron," Hermione had hissed at him in an undertone, "He belongs to Professor Dumbledore."

Something about that reply had tickled Harry's curiosity at that moment, and he had casually asked, "Hey Hermione, how'd you reckon Professor Dumbledore found Fawkes?"

Hermione had simply frowned and admitted that she had no idea how he could have found him, but that it was an interesting question.

Soon, the period ended and they all went their separate ways; Ron and Harry for a free period and Hermione to her Arithmancy class; after resolving to meet at lunch.

Harry had no idea what he had unleashed.

The lunchtime bell rang, and Harry and Ron headed to the Great hall, only to find Hermione, Ginny, Neville and a couple of Ravenclaws surrounding a section of the table that seemed to be creaking under the weight of the books on it.

"Oh what has she done now?" Ron groaned, "It's lunchtime for goodness sake! Why can't she just keep the books away from the food!"

"Let's just go see whatever she's doing alright?" said Harry as they made their way over to the group. Hermione's voice grew louder and louder as they approached.

" . . . No! That doesn't make sense! That can't possibly be true!"

"What's going on Hermione?" Harry asked, interrupting her tirade.

"Harry! Thank goodness you're here!" Hermione said, looking visibly relieved, "We've all been trying to think of how the Headmaster found his phoenix after you asked me that in Potions, and so far we've really found nothing but a load of cock and bull stories."

"Hey!" Padma Patil said, "That's not true! We've been compiling theories. One of them has to make sense!"

"Yeah? Well none of them do!" Hermione shot back.

"Why don't let Harry be the judge of that. He's the one who's been in the Headmaster's office the most. Ginny's met it, but she wasn't in her right mind when she did back in her first year . . . Sorry Ginny" Padma said to the red-haired girl, who waved away her apologies.

"Fine!" Hermione said, throwing her hands up in the air, "Go ahead! Tell him all your outlandish theories."

Harry looked at Padma, genuinely interested now. He'd just asked the question offhandedly, but it looked like Hermione had made a proper discussion out of it.

"I'll go first then," said Padma, before she started, "We know phoenixes are found on mountaintops. So I reckon that Dumbledore probably met his phoenix in his travels, and it decided that it liked him. Or maybe it thought that Dumbledore was worthy, and was a good man, so he decided that he wanted to stick with him. Makes sense right?"

Hermione was shaking her head before she even finished. She pulled out a copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them and opened it to a page before giving it to Harry.

Harry took the book from her and read the highlighted lines,

The phoenix gains an XXXX rating not because it is aggressive, but because very few wizards have ever succeeded in domesticating it.

Not only do they often tend to fly away at the first sight of an unfamiliar wizard, but on the very rare occasions that they do, they do so for food, and after eating, they burst into flames and vanish, leaving behind a feather that sheds automatically every time they apparate using fire.

The only two known domesticated phoenixes belong to the New Zealand based Moutohora Macaws Quidditch team and Hogwarts Headmaster Albus Dumbledore.

Note - Both of those were domesticated by Albus Dumbledore. The New Zealand phoenix was gifted to the Minister of New Zealand by Albus Dumbledore. The Minister then passed on the phoenix to his favourite Quidditch team to replace their older dung beetle mascot.

Harry looked at Hermione in confusion. This was all interesting and all, but it still said nothing about how the Headmaster acquired Fawkes.

Hermione, seeing Harry's look, started explaining,"What Padma said is well and good, but she didn't answer the main question. We all know that its very possible that Dumbledore found Fawkes while travelling. But the main question we have is how he got Fawkes to stay. And that 'good intentions' thing is obviously not true. The only person who has ever domesticated phoenixes is Dumbledore. The phoenix could have just as well been attracted to his beard rather than his good intentions. And how'd you reckon the phoenix would know what his intentions are? A spot o' tea and a long conversation?"

Harry was a bit taken off guard with the intensity of the argument. Apparently, the group was pretty serious about finding answers to this question. Not wanting to piss off anybody, he just said, "I . . . I think you both right in some ways."

"Well then, Neville. You go next." Hermione ordered.

"I . . . Okay" Neville said nervously, "We actually don't really know anything about how phoenixes are born. So I was thinking that maybe the story my Gran used to tell me back when I was younger is true. The one about how the birth of a phoenix happens when great evil is bested by a heart of pure intent. Maybe Dumbledore got Fawkes when he defeated Grindelwald in the legendary duel. Gran used to say that people believe that they are physical manifestations of righteous, purifying flame and guide those who are champions of nature's justice."

It was a good theory, Harry thought, but it only took him an instant to find a critical flaw with it, "That's a good theory mate, and maybe it's true, but I don't think that's what happened in Dumbledore's case. We know that Voldemort's wand has one of Fawkes's feathers and that wand was made way before the duel."

Neville slumped in his seat, looking a bit disappointed.

"It was a good one mate," Ron reassured Neville, patting his back. Apparently the redhead found the discussion interesting too.

"And Ginny?" Harry said, looking at the only one who hadn't said anything.

Ginny shrugged, "I've got nothing much really. If I had to say anything I'd say he probably imprinted on Dumbledore or something as a chick or something. He's pretty loyal to Dumbledore, so it would make sense that he's been with Dumbledore his entire life."

Harry nodded, acknowledging the possibility.

"Well, so far from what I can tell, the only thing we have a problem on is how he's convinced Fawkes to stay. That's the part nobody really knows about. Right?" he said, receiving various sounds of agreement from the group, "So all we have to do is figure that part out. So . . . got any ideas about why a phoenix would want to stay with the Professor?"

"Hogwarts food?" Ron snidely said, drawing chuckles from the majority of the group.

Terry Boot wasn't chuckling. He looked like he'd just thought of something very disturbing.

"I don't know guys . . ." he said, "Maybe it's a bit far-fetched . . . but maybe he keeps him here with a slave bond or something? Like something that makes sure the phoenix can't leave him or it dies?" he suggested, looking very uncomfortable.

The group grew silent for a second. An uneasy feeling settled in Harry's gut.

It was Ron who broke the uneasy silence, "Nah . . . I don't think he would do anything like that . . . would he? He's Dumbledore."

"Yeah . . . Yeah. You must be right," Terry said, "Dunno what I was thinking. Being stupid I guess. Just . . . what with You Know Who, and death eaters and all . . . I've just been growing more and more paranoid over the year."

The silence reclaimed the group, this time more sombre than ever. The war hadn't been easy, and it had been continuously taking its toll on each of them. Some of them were more affected than the others, but no one was left unaffected.

It was at that moment when Ron, bless his nifty little brain, came up with an idea and diffused the tension, "Hey Harry! You have one of those lessons with Dumbledore tonight don't you mate? Why don't you just ask him there how he found his phoenix? I bet he'd tell you wouldn't he?"

Harry did indeed have one of his memory viewing meetings with Dumbledore that evening.

The rest of the group agreed and seconded that plan. Harry himself found no problems with the idea, so the plan was finalised. Harry would go to Dumbledore, and simply ask how he found Fawkes. If he refused to tell . . . well, they hadn't thought that far ahead yet.

The bell rang, and they all headed to their next classes.

A few hours later, and after an intense memory viewing session that dealt with uncovering a bit more of Voldemort's past, Harry found himself sitting silently on a chair, across the table from the Headmaster.

A small flash of red caught his attention through the corner of his eyes. Turning his head, he saw the familiar form of Fawkes the phoenix. He suddenly remembered that he had a question to ask.

"Can I ask you something, Professor?"

"Of course Harry"

"How did you find Fawkes?"

The professor's face suddenly spread into a smile. He popped a lemon drop into his mouth before answering, "Funny story actually. I was in Tibet for an ICW meeting a few decades ago, back when I was just a simple junior delegate for Britain. That's where I first met him."

"So how did you get him to stay with you?" Harry pressed on.

"I fed him a couple of the apples that the Chinese delegation gifted me."

Harry's eyes widened, "Do phoenixes like apples that much!?"

The headmaster chuckled, "Of course not Harry. It turned out that the Chinese delegation had an assassin in between them who was trying to kill me. The apples had been doped with a very high dose of a stimulant drug."

Dumbledore popped another lemon drop into his mouth, and started suckling on it before continuing,"Naturally I didn't know that, and was about to eat it, but the sound of a very pleasant trill stopped me. I turned around, and to my surprise, I found a phoenix peeking in from the window behind me. They're much more common in the Himalayas than in Europe, but I'd never heard of them seeking people out. I was a quite naturally glad and very surprised. I fed a couple of the apples to him, not knowing of their drugged nature."

"And then?" Harry asked, starting to feel a bit odd.

"Well, phoenixes can't die Harry. So Fawkes experienced, what modern lads would call, the best high of his very long life."

This was not how Harry had imagined this conversation going.

Feeling a bit thrown off, he looked around, and suddenly noticed that the small pile of powder in the container under Fawkes's perch was much lighter than normal ash. Almost white as a matter of fact. Strange how he'd never noticed that before.

"So you're saying . . ."

"I accidentally fed him a couple of apples doped with a very high quantity of cocaine. He got addicted and started following me around. Thankfully I do have a supplier of my own, so I can supply as much cocaine as he needs." the headmaster said, fondly looking at the phoenix for a second before he turned to the flabbergasted student in front of him.

"Lemon drop Harry?"

"Er . . . I'll pass."

I was whaling around on reddit, and got into a long argument on why and how a phoenix would find and stay with a wizard. Had a bit of an idea after that, so decided to pen it down.

See, when a lot of ideas jam up in my brain, it occasionally farts out something like this. You can expect this story to be a compilation of said brain farts.

Drop a review if you liked it!