Everybody has some bad ideas.
It's a fact that comes with being a writer—sometimes your muse (or muses, as the case often is) is good to you, and you have these little nuggets of inspirations flying at you from every direction. Sometimes your muse is in such a swell mood that you can barely catch all the nuggets, and on rare occasions, you've even got to dodge a few of them; there are just that many.
After filing these nuggets away for a time, and allowing them to percolate, you eventually develop ideas for stories. Like the nuggets themselves, these stories are inspired, fun to read and write, and make the people who happen upon them feel better about themselves and the world they live in. Everyone, in short, comes out on top.
Now let's take a step back. Muses are a lot like the people they work for; moody, uncooperative, and above all, prone to writers' block. When a muse is feeling moody or uncooperative, then generally either clam up completely or come up with really stupid ideas that would have people laughing at you and pointing their fingers, saying, 'What was that dork thinking? I could write a better story than that with my brain turned off!"
We'll ignore these finger-pointers, since we're obviously much smarter than them. (No one could write with their brain turned off, although, looking back at early works, I sometimes think I did.) It's when your muse has writers' block that the real problems start to crop up. Almost as if your brain could get a clog, you begin to search so desperately for a good idea that you end up with some real stinkers instead. Ideas so foul and inane that you immediately throw them down the drain and pour acid on top, just to make sure that they never see the light of Fanfiction.Net.
At least...that's what should be done.
I've been on a somewhat extended stretch of writers' block as of late, so I've had a lot of time to develop stinkers. (Please...wait until after the opening to make comments.) But instead of dousing them with corrosive compounds as I should have, I tucked them away. Every little idea, every snippet of creativity that made me cringe, I filed into a safe hidden in the back of my gray matter. After I had enough, I opened the safe.
The result is the following story.
You may now feel free to make your comments.