Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy
Episode III: Revenge of Ikari


Chapter 4 – The Sorrow of Gendo Ikari
September 16, 2004 – Lake Ashinoko

Gendo was wandering around in the wilderness trying to understand the events of yesterday. The sun was high in the sky, and it was hot out like always. Gendo was dressed in his usual sweater and long pants, and he was still wearing his lab coat. He had not stopped walking since he left the control room the day before. When he left the control room after Yui was absorbed by the Core, he simply left the Gehirn Headquarters and went outside in a daze. He couldn't comprehend anything anymore. He simply couldn't accept Yui was gone. He knew there had to be a better explanation for her disappearance. He was now lost in his thoughts going over the events of the previous day.

"We compensated for everything from Mari's failed test. What could have possibly happened?" Gendo said. "What happened in that room? Akagi compensated for the A.T. Filed spike, but then what? The ejection failed and then there was a flash. I don't get it. She can't have disappeared. Her A.T. Field only collapsed, and if her research has told me anything, is that there has to be a reason why the field collapsed. They don't just dissipate without an outside force acting on them…"

Gendo's SDAT was playing nonstop in his ears, keeping out the outside world out, and isolating him so he could think properly. It was a wonderful day outside, even though Gendo could not notice this, as he was too absorbed in his memories.

"Someone must have done something to make the Core act that way. It's just not possible for it to store power, it's not an S2 Engine, it's a different organ altogether. It's just not possible." Gendo rambled to himself. "It should never have happened. She should still be in the Link Tube. She should still be able to be recovered. She's not gone at all. I need to find a way to bring her back. I need to know what caused it. There is a reason for everything. It can't have been an accident, Yui is too careful, she would never put herself in harm's way. She would never leave me all alone, that's not who she is."

Gendo's walk had taken him all the way around the perimeter of the lake twice over. Now he was on the southwestern most shore, very close to the water, and very far away from the Geofront. Even though he was far away from it physically, his thoughts kept him rooted there quite firmly.

"But why did the ejection sequence not work. Yui wouldn't have blocked would she? No… impossible. There is no way for it to have been blocked, it was written into the code that specific coded order cannot be over written. It's just not possible. Whatever caused that experiment to go to hell caused that to happen. That's the only explanation, something was tampered with. But who would tamper with the test? SEELE certainly wouldn't do that, they need Yui for the research into finishing the Evangelions, they can't eliminate her, she's not some disposable peon, she has value." Gendo said aloud. "But who does that leave? Other than Akagi, there is no other person who had anything against Yui. She was too nice to have enemies. Akagi wouldn't have a reason to hurt Yui either, unless she is jealous of Yui… it must have been an accident, yet it can't be an accident…"

Gendo had stopped walking and found a place in the trees to lay down and look up at the stars. Even though the batteries on his SDAT had died, he kept the earphones on to make it look like he was listening to music.

"I know Yui is not gone, and I know that she is out there somewhere, and that she needs my help. But I know she can't be gone. She's not gone. It's not possible. She must be in another state of being. She must be trapped inside the Core, she's not dead. She can't be dead. She's not dead. She can't be dead." Gendo rambled to himself.

Gendo continued to mutter to himself while he slept that Yui was not dead.

In his dreams, Gendo was standing on the empty quad of Kyoto University. An image of a younger Gendo formed in front of him, he looked very beat up with his arm in a sling. It was how he looked on the day Yui told him she loved him when he got into a bar fight over having kissed her publically. "Of course she's gone you fool. She made you soft. Don't you realize it was only a matter of time? No one is meat to love you in this world, not a one. You are alone, you always have been, and you always will be." His other self said.

"Fuck you. I'm not the person I used to be anymore, I've found happiness. Nothing can take that away from me." Gendo replied.

"Ironic, that's just what happened. In a flash of light your happiness was taken from you and now you're out in the wild hiding from your problems. Men don't run away, they deal with their problems. You're nothing, a wimp, you always have been. If you had been a real man you would have murdered your father with your bare hands and watched the life drain from him, to see the look on his face as you snuffed the life out from his worthless body. Then you would have done your mother too, to make a clean job of it." His younger self said. "Stop being so pathetic, you never needed people before, why do you need them now."

"People change. I need Yui because she makes me feel happy. I'm a better person because of her, and I'm glad for it." Gendo said angrily.

"You can't lie to me, I'm you. I know who you are. You always say people are such sad creatures and that they need to stand on their own two feet. You completely gone away from what told yourself for all those years, you're only a fraction of what you used to be. You want to save the world from SEELE when at one point you would have gladly joined them to subjugate the world. What changed, Gendo, what made you soft?" The other Gendo said. "What made you lose your hard edge… love?"

"Yui changed me for the better, weren't you listening. But she didn't make me weaker, she made me stronger, and nicer!" Gendo shouted at himself.

"No, you're the man who can live on his own and not need anyone. You're a loner. You never needed her, you were only using her." The other Gendo sneered. "You're worse than anyone ever thought about you. You corrupted her and made her want to leave you!"

"No, I didn't!" Gendo shouted back.

"You gave up your identity has her, so you could hide from your past! It had nothing to do with your loving her, it was all about you!" Gendo's younger self sneered.

"NOOOOO!" Gendo screamed as he awoke in the dead of night to the silence that existed after Second Impact. He was breathing heavily and covered in sweat, his heart was beating so fast and so hard, it felt as though he was going to have a heart attack.

"What in the hell is going on? Do I really think those things? Am I really that bad of a person? I love Yui, I can't live without her. I know she's not gone, and I'll find a way to bring her back to me, even if it kills me." Gendo said loudly into the night, daring it to defy him and his wishes.


September 18, 2004 – Outskirts of Tokyo–3

Gendo had taken a chance to go into the older section of Tokyo–3 that existed when the area was still called Hakone. He went to a payphone and decided to check his messages. When he dialed in there were several angry messages from Fuyutsuki, which he listened to fully, there was one that was far less angry, and gave him yet more bad news:

"NEXT UNHEARD MESSAGE; MESSAGE RECEIVED ON SEPTEMBER 18, 2004, AT 3:22a: Ikari, its Fuyutsuki again. I'm hoping that even though you've abandoned your son and your job that you are still checking your messages, because I have some news for you. Kyoko's test was also a failure. She didn't disappear like Yui, but their saying her mind has been ripped apart. They say she will be able to wake up, but she won't be the same person anymore. I'm sorry to have to tell you this way, Gendo, but your not being here makes it harder on all of us. I'm doing my best to keep things together here, but we need you back. You need to pull yourself together and come back, Gehirn needs you, hell, Shinji needs you. Please, come back Ikari. MESSAGE DELETED, THERE ARE NO NEW MESSAGES. MAIN MENU… CLICK."

Gendo silently hung up the phone and walked away from the phone booth. "No, that's not possible, Kyoko wouldn't have let that happen, she loves Asuka far too much to have risked herself after Yui's accident. She would have called off the test and been here to make sure Shinji and I were ok." Gendo said to himself as he walked through the residential high–rise district. "It's not possible that both the women I love are gone. IT'S NOT FAIR!" Gendo in a flurry of anger and rage that had been building since his dream the other night punched a hole in the side of a wooden building, embedding several splinters into his right hand. "It's not fair! Why them! Why take them! I have no one left! I had my one chance at true love twice and thy both left me just like every woman has abandoned me!" He punched the wall again, this time damaging his left hand, but the physical pain was of no consequence to the man. He just needed to take out this rage on something. "WHY, GODDAMNIT, WHY?!" Gendo continued to beat the side of the building with his hands and feet until there was a hole big enough to fit a K–Car through. "WHY THEM, WHAT DID THEY EVER DO TO YOU!?" Gendo screamed at the sky. "WHY TAKE THEM AWAY YOU FUCKING BASTARD? IF ANYONE DESERVED TO SUFFER LIKE THAT, IT WAS ME!"

Gendo walked away from the damage he created and went towards Mt. Hakone, where hopefully he could find peace, or maybe even solace in death. Having punched the building had made Gendo feel less enraged, but the sadness that was inside of himself, he feared would never go away.

"Why are things like this, why did it have to happen like this. Why I am forced to be alone. All I ever wanted to do was save the world from SEELE, and this is what I get. Blood on my hands, a dead wife, and an insane ex–girlfriend." Gendo said sullenly. "There's nothing I can do to save anyone, I've been unable to save anyone I cared about, or that Yui cared about. Her parents, her brother, Mari, Kyoko, and Yui. They are all gone because of my inaction. All I've done since I joined SEELE was cause the deaths of half the world's population and destroy the majority of the world's technological infrastructure."

Gendo was now outside the city limits in the foothills of Mt. Hakone. In the distance behind him was the hole to the Geofront and outskirts of the city which was illuminated and its sheer brightness was washing out the stars in the sky.

Gendo, now on his third day without having showered or changed, his clothes were disheveled. His white lab coat was coated with mud and grime, and there was a smell about him that seemed out of place away from a garbage dump. His beard was unkempt and hair was matted and greasy. Sleeping on the ground wasn't helping matters, his back was covered in green stains. He was once again passed out on the ground from exhaustion, leaned uncomfortably against a tree part way up the mountain. He was mumbling in his sleep again, and looked like he was in distress.

Gendo was sitting on a bed in a relatively small apartment. It was dark in the room, and nothing was really distinguishable, as most of the room was cast in shadows. He felt as though he recognized the room from somewhere. "Where is this?" Gendo said aloud. "Where am I now?" He looked out the window to see the old Osaka skyline illuminated against the night sky.

"Don't you recognize it, Gendo?" A voice said. "We used to make love here often."

"Kyoko?" Gendo said into the shadows where the voice had emanated.

The person behind the voice stepped out from the shadows, it was indeed Kyoko, but not the younger Kyoko he was expecting, but the mature Kyoko who had a daughter. "Well at least you can recognize my voice. I'd be angry with you if you didn't." Kyoko said as she sat on the bed next to him. "I can understand why you can't recognize this place though, it fucking dark in here."

"But where is here?" Gendo asked inquisitively.

"My apartment dumbass." Kyoko replied. "Mein Gott, it's been a long time since I've been here. So many good memories. So many bad ones too."

"Kyoko, why am I here?" Gendo asked.

"So I can tell you about your problems. You do know that all this shit isn't really your fault, so stop playing the victim." Kyoko said. "But you do make it awfully hard for you to keep people around you."

"You're not telling me anything I don't already know." Gendo said.

"Yes, but the people that were around you that could handle that you've been pushing away for years." Kyoko explained. "Why did you think I couldn't tell you I loved you in 1996 and waited another two years before I could even bring up the courage is because you're so damn off putting. You're always depressed, and you make everything about yourself."

"No I don't, I'm not that bad." Gendo said.

"Have you met you? You are difficult to get along with, it's a wonder Yui even fell for you in the first place." Kyoko said.

"How dare you say anything about her…" Gendo started.

"Oh, shut up, Gendo. You know she was too good for you. You've thought it since you met her. She was always too nice for you, it's a wonder she put up with you and took you back after finding out about all the horrible things you've done trying to save the world. I'm surprised she didn't report you." Kyoko said snidely.

"I said shut up! Yui's not like that." Gendo replied back angrily. "Yui was the best person I ever met, and she wasn't afraid of her feelings like I was, or like you were. You hid from your feelings until it was too late, and you left me because you were afraid to admit you were in love. I couldn't admit I was in love. I couldn't even do that until Yui said those words first. But don't you dare blame me for you not saying you loved me."

"Oh, please don't be so self–righteous with me, I know you. I know what you did to your parents. You got them out of your way so you could get away from your problems. You ignore people who annoy you. You ignored me and my feelings, and you were so absorbed with dealing with SEELE, you seem to forget, you have a son who needs his father, you arschloch. Oh did you forget that Yui actually let you fuck her and make a baby." Kyoko said. "You only think about yourself, never those around you. You think you care, but you truly don't, otherwise you'd be down in the Geofront seeing how your son is doing after losing his mother."

"What, you think I wouldn't trade places with Yui? Shinji would be better off without me. I'm no parent. I have no idea what a parent is supposed to be. Mine ignored me or beat me. I'm not fit to be a parent. I truly wish it was me that had been in that Link Tube, then Shinji would have the parent he deserves." Gendo said. "The good parent capable of raising a child on their own."

"See, always the victim." Kyoko mocked him. "Oh, my parents were awful, my parents hated me, I had a horrible childhood. Boo hoo hoo. Deal with it, Gendo. You're not the only person in the world who has had a bad childhood. My parents were never around, always worried about international affairs and not their own daughter. It's just how it was. I got over it and didn't bitch about like some pathetic loser."

"I'm not playing the victim! These things happened to me, I can't just ignore them, those awful memories are a part of who I am." Gendo said incredulously.

"That's what you like to think, but you are Gendo, you are playing the victim." Kyoko said sarcastically. "Just cut the shit and put the past behind you. It's time you look to the future. Goodbye Gendo, it's time for you to move on from the memory of me, our time has passed."

"Wait, Kyoko, don't leave me alone!" Gendo said. "Don't leave me again!"

"I'm sorry Gendo, it's only a dream. I was never really here to leave you again anyway." Kyoko replied as she disappeared from the room, leaving Gendo alone once again.

In the morning, Gendo awoke to the sun streaming down on him through the trees. His neck was stiff and he looked around. "What is going on with me?" Gendo said as he stared into the sunlight. "Why am I so fucked up?"


September 20, 2004 – Summit of Mt. Hakone

It had been five days since the accident. Gendo had been on his own since the moment he left Gehirn HQ. Other than a quick saunter into Tokyo–3 which gifted him more bad news, and only made his mental state more unstable. Gendo had not eaten anything since he ran away, and he was becoming more and more detached from reality.

Gendo sat quietly at the top of Mt. Hakone. He was contemplating what had happened since he was a child. "Everyone I cared about has left me. Yui is gone, Kyoko as I knew her was gone, and Rei… Rei died in the womb to avoid me. Everyone in my life has abandoned me. I'm not worth the air I breathe. I'm just a waste of space."

The breeze blew lightly around him, causing him to shiver as he looked down on Tokyo–3 below him as the frantic memories of Yui's test went through his mind.

"This is what I get for not telling them to cancel the test. Their little friend died first! It was only a matter of time before they suffered the same fate! I should have never let them experiment on these unknown beings, we have no idea what we are toying with, science may protect us, but our ignorance will be the death of us all." Gendo said. "I killed them, I did! It's my fault!" Gendo screamed. "I'm the reason my wife trapped inside of the Core, I'm the reason the Kyoko I once knew is now gone, never to return, and I killed my sister! My father was right, it's all my fault! I'm a murderer!"

The sun was setting and it was getting to the time of night where Gendo would pass out and horrific nightmares. So far he had been visited by his younger self who told him he had become weaker from having been with Yui, and Kyoko who had told him he was nothing but a selfish bastard, and caused people to leave him alone. So now, he was afraid of going to sleep for fear of who would come next. He didn't want to face whoever it was, because they would be telling him more things he'd been trying to repress for years. True he thought some of those things, but he knew they weren't true, at least until he had deprived himself of food and sleep for five days, which would cause any on–edge person to fall right off and into the abyss.

Gendo hadn't slept since he was visited by Kyoko, and it was becoming impossible for him to stay awake. Exhaustion once again overtook him, and he passed out overlooking the place where his thoughts still dwelled.

Gendo awoke in a place he recognized, he was no longer on top of Mt. Hakone, but he was on a hill overlooking the Kyoto University campus. Gendo sighed, knowing that nothing good was going to come of being here, and he had an idea of who his encounter would be with this evening.

He looked over to his right to see it confirmed. "Yui…" He said simply.

"Hello Gendo, I'd ask how you are, but I already know the answer is 'not well.' Why are you so heartbroken over me?" Yui said.

"Seeing as you're my mind playing tricks on me, why don't you tell me?" Gendo replied flatly. "Instead of all this mysticism bullshit."

"But Gendo… that would take all the fun and learning out of these nightmares. You can't repent unless you understand." Yui said. "So, it's time for you to come to terms with everything. You can't keep running away, that's not who you are."

"Isn't it?" Gendo asked.

"No, unfortunately, you like to face your issues head on. You killed your parents to get out from under their tyranny, you came to Kyoto University to win back Kyoko, and found me instead, you fought those men who didn't like you kissing me, and you joined SEELE to save the human race. You face your problems. You always have, and I assume always will. So… you've been gone for how many days Gendo?" Yui asked.

"Five, I think, I've lost track with the lack of sleep." Gendo replied.

"Damn it, Gendo, you have to get back, now!" Yui pleaded. "You're the head of Gehirn, and now with the two top scientists gone, the entire place must be in chaos. You're being selfish, so need to go back!"

"Why go back! There is nothing left for me anymore! You're gone Yui and you can't come back! Kyoko is gone too! Who else do I have to care for me, to love me?!" Gendo shouted.

"See, now we're back on the question of why you're so heartbroken over me. You must have known our relationship was on the rocks, you're not an idiot after all." Yui said. "After that little reveal of yours, I kicked you out of the house. Trying to save the world by nearly destroying it, are you fucking insane?"

"You are me! You know exactly what my reasons are! So stop toying with me!" Gendo shouted. "Tell me what I need to know!"

"I already told you, it's not that easy, Gendo." Yui replied. "You need to answer my question. Why are so heartbroken over me. I was going to leave you. I was going to take Shinji and leave you alone, just like everyone else has, because you're not worth it."

"Yui did not think that! She would never had done that! She forgave me!" Gendo screamed.

"But you did, Gendo. You've been thinking it since I stormed out of your office. You were waiting for the other shoe to drop." Yui said. "You're fucking pathetic, Gendo. You think that she's going to leave you, and you seem relieved about it. Yet when she dies you're somehow sad because of it. You dodged a bullet, so act like a man and get over it."

Gendo lunged at the Yui and struck her across the face, knocking her to the ground. "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO ME ABOUT YUI LIKE THAT! I LOVE HER! I WANT HER BACK! I NEVER WANTED HER TO LEAVE, I JUST WANTED TO HEAR HER SAY SHE LOVED ME! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER, I'M NOTHING WITHOUT HER!" Gendo roared as his face was mere inches from his hallucination's version of Yui. "YOU MAY KNOW MY DARKEST THOUGHTS, BUT YOU HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT MY TRUEST FEELINGS!"

"Well, it appears I have found my answer, however violent it may have come to me." Yui smiled. "Now, if you can calm the fuck down, Gendo, I will tell you how to get me back. Especially seeing as you want me back so damn bad."

"How would I get you back Yui? How?" Gendo asked.

"The answers are all in your head." Yui replied. "You know my research almost as well as I do, and you know what happened. My A.T. Field collapsed, without my ego border, my body was dissolved into the LCL. My soul was then most likely absorbed by the Evangelion. The hard part is to find my soul in that Core, isolate it, and then recreate my A.T. Field and body to bring me back home."

"Ok, you've explained what I have to do, but how do I do it?" Gendo said.

"Well, you need to modify the A.T. Field modulators to output a small, directed field, rather than a large spread as it's designed for. Just a few tweaks to the emitter module should do it. You'll also need to modify the A.T. Field detector to be able to discern a signal from inside the Core, and isolate and track its location."

"Is that all?" Gendo asked.

"You'll also need a strong E.M. Field to get everything going, to force the soul out of the Core and contain the soul in while you try to bring me back. But other than that, I don't think you'll need anything else." Yui explained.

"So, will it work?" Gendo asked.

"Well, I'm on your head, so what do you think?" Yui asked.

"I hope it will work, the theory sounds solid, all I can hope for is the best." Gendo said. "But what about what caused this. I know you didn't do it, but who did?"

"That, Gendo, you'll need to find out on your own." Yui said as she walked away.

"YUI! DON'T GO! DON'T LEAVE ME AGAIN!" Gendo screamed into the night. He had awoken again, covered in a cold sweat. "MOTHERFUCKER! SHE LEFT ME AGAIN!" Gendo breathed heavily as tried to calm down. He started to go through the events of his dream as he calmed down. "So, it is possible to get Yui back. But I will need to go back to the Geofront to do it. I don't know if I'm ready yet. But I have to face going back there, in order to bring Yui home."

Gendo sighed deeply and then something hit him. After nearly a week of being alone in isolation, slowing losing his mind, Gendo now had seen some clarity.

"But why did it happen, all the precautions that were taken… unless SEELE found out Yui knew too much. They must have overheard part of the argument we had in my office before I turned on the electronic scramblers. It must have been them, meaning that… this wasn't an accident… it was intentional, just like what Yui said about Mari." Gendo said, feeling clearheaded for the first time in days. "They caused this, they took her from me. Those bastards… Once I get Yui back, I will finally make a plan to disrupt SEELE's plans for instrumentality once and for all."


September 22, 2004 – Gehirn HQ, Geofront–01, Tokyo–3

Gendo was sitting calmly at his desk as Fuyutsuki walked in. Gendo had his hands covering his mouth as Fuyutsuki stormed up to his desk.

Fuyutsuki started in on Gendo before he could even speak. "Where the hell have you been Ikari?! It's been an entire fucking week since you walked out of the control room and disappeared!" Fuyutsuki shouted.

"I've been contemplating things." Gendo said calmly.

"That doesn't answer the question! Ikari, other people need you, you must realize that! Gehirn, your son, you have responsibilities you simply cannot run away from!" Fuyutsuki shouted. "You can't hide forever!"

"It's alright Fuyutsuki, I have a plan to bring her back." Gendo said calmly. "That way things can go back to the way they were."

"I have a plan too, Ikari! Dr. Akagi helped me put it together." Fuyutsuki replied.

"Good, then I'll give you my notes, and you will have six hours to prep for Yui's retrieval. I wouldn't dawdle, time is not on our side." Gendo replied.

Fuyutsuki looked shocked. "Six hours? We'd need so much more…" Fuyutsuki said as he moved closer to the desk. To Fuyutsuki, Gendo looked different, slightly more gaunt then he used to, and even though his glasses partially obscured his eyes, Fuyutsuki could see that the light that used to shine had faded, most likely when Yui was absorbed into the Core.

"No excuses, Fuyutsuki. Get. It. Done. End of story. All the equipment is still in the hangar with Unit–01. So, what I want to hear in six hours is that the test is waiting for me to show up to begin. Is that clear?" Gendo said coldly.

"Crystal, Ikari." Fuyutsuki said sarcastically. "I'll get to work immediately, Director."

"Don't forget to grab Dr. Akagi for this. You'll need her help too." Gendo said. "You're dismissed, Fuyutsuki."

And without another word, Fuyutsuki left the office.

Several hours later, Gendo was still at his desk, and he received the call he was waiting for. He swept silently down the hangar and test area where Unit–01 was being stored. It looked no different than it did when Yui disappeared, as no further progress had been made since Yui's disappearance. "Don't worry, Yui, I'll get you out of there soon." Gendo said softly to the Evangelion on the floor.

Gendo turned to the two figures huddled near the new Link Tube. "Fuyutsuki! Akagi! What's the status of recovery test?!" Gendo shouted.

"We'll be ready in ten minutes Ikari." Fuyutsuki replied "Please be patient."

Gendo paced around the control room until Fuyutsuki and Naoko joined him. Fuyutsuki, against his better judgement, let Naoko sit at the control console. "Ikari, we're as ready as we'll ever be." Fuyutsuki said.

"Then begin the recovery operation immediately." Gendo commanded.

Naoko obliged the order. "Yes, Director. Holding recovery activation sequence until the room has been vacated."

Fuyutsuki activated an alarm and turned on the intercom. "All personnel, clear the test area immediately the recovery operation is about to begin. Emergency medical team, please proceed to test area entrance 3–Bravo and stand by. I repeat, all personnel, clear the test area immediately the recovery operation is about to begin. Emergency medical team, please proceed to test area entrance 3–Bravo and stand by." Fuyutsuki watched as the room emptied out and then moved to seal all doors. "Test area is secure, begin the operation immediately, Dr. Akagi."

"Understood, activating the ATF Detectors. Wave pattern has been identified, Pattern Analysis is Red. All systems have been hardwired, no connection processes are necessary. Link Tube has been filled with LCL, density increased to 40psi, electrolyzing and oxygenation have been completed. Activating the ATF Modulators and EM Stabilizers, both fields are stable. Creating an artificial A.T. Field inside the Core, the soul is being forced out to the Soul Duplication Unit. SDU has captured the soul." Naoko said.

"Good, prepare phase two, the extraction." Gendo said.

"Yes sir." Naoko replied. 'I hope the extra coding I put in works. I don't want her coming back, otherwise I'll be in a lot of trouble with SEELE.' Naoko thought. "Transferring the soul into the Link Tube. Transfer is encountering some resistance. Increasing the ATF Modulators to force the soul out. Soul is in the Link Tube, cutting connections! Shutting down all equipment!" Naoko said. "Moving ATF modulators and EM Stabilizers to the Link Tube. Focusing the beam to a 2.5° omnidirectional–angle. Soul is being contained within the EM Field."

"Good, begin stage three, reintegration and recovery." Gendo said. "Fuyutsuki, have the medical team ready to enter the test area as soon as the recovery is done."

"Understood, Ikari." Fuyutsuki said.

"Beginning stage three. ATF Modulators now set to 0.5° omnidirectional–angle, activating power flow buffers, and increasing power output to 500% capacity. The soul is reacting, and the A.T. Field is beginning reform around it. A.T. Field strength at 12% of human average." Naoko read out.

"Dr. Akagi, please integrate Yui's A.T. Field at 250%." Gendo said.

"Understood, Director. 22%… 48%… 67%… 84%… 97%… 112%… 149%… 198%… 212%… 244%… 251%… beginning forced integration, LCL pressure at 100psi, electrolyzation at maximum. A.T. Field stability is increasing to 80%… 90%… normalizing at 100%." Naoko said. "Returning Link Tube interior to normal levels. Integration should be complete. There is a bio mass in the Link Tube, however biometric sensors are offline, due to the strong electric field and EM feedback."

Fuyutsuki unlocked the test area's doors. "Medical team to the Link Tube immediately." Fuyutsuki ordered.

When the medical team go t to the Link Tube and opened it, what they found inside was not human, as they were expecting, but a pink blob of what looked like flesh, blood, and muscle that sat congealed on the control seat inside.

Fuyutsuki and Gendo rushed down to see what was causing the problems with the medical team. When Fuyutsuki saw it, he vomited. When Gendo saw it, he fell to his knees. "All personnel clear the area." Gendo said. "Fuyutsuki, when you get yourself together, gather one of those A.T. Field containment units to put all this into. Then run a test to determine if that is Yui."

"I'll do that right away." As he began to walk away, he turned around. "Gendo," Fuyutsuki said, quite out of character. "Are you alright?"

"No, Fuyutsuki, I'm not alright, and I very much doubt I ever will be again." Gendo replied. "This loss is far too great for me to be alright."

To Be Continued


A/N: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters, GAINAX and the other distributors of NGE related material do. I am simply using them as a backdrop for my fanfic.

I do have to say, writing a crazy person was very fun to do, difficult, but fun. To be fair, Gendo is supposed to sound insane during this chapter. Let's take into account that his wife and ex–girlfriend/lover, the only two women to ever love him, are gone, and he's all alone (yes, he forgot about Shinji in all of this, total Father of the Year material right there). Just an FYI as to why he's kinda rambling like a buffoon. He's now officially a broken man with nothing to lose.

This chapter is based on the five stages of grief (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance), which Gendo goes through, but when it comes to acceptance, he cannot accept the fact Yui is gone, and decided to try and bring her back from the Core of Unit–01. When that goes to shit, he decides revenge is his best option, and instrumentality the only way to reunite with his beloved.

Just to clarify the Yui and Kyoko in Gendo's mind are only figments of his imagination. They are trapped inside of their respective cores, Gendo is simply having his personal hell throughout the chapter and being haunted by the people he knew and cared for and respected. He's having a mental breakdown and is being visited by those he has lost, his younger darker self, his ex–girlfriend, and his wife.

As for the recovery, Naoko set it up so that pieces of Yui's soul would be copied (which turn out to be her motherly instincts and kindness), and she leaves the intact soul inside of Unit–01, to rot. Just some clarification on that.

As I said before, and will always say at the end of chapter, please leave comments, as I would like to try to improve the story going forward any way I can. And, hell, constructive criticism is a good thing.


つづく